• 152 results
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
#51 Posted by Xsheps (114 posts) -

Excellent post.   Your writing, both in terms of style and content, suggests to me that you are highly intelligent.  I think its probably a risk factor for depression.   You have an understanding of the world that most people do not.   I too have gone through several changes in my personal life recently.  Notably, I had to abandon two people who I knew when I was younger because while I matured emotionally they did not and became disasters to be around.   I had to delete my twitter and facebook accounts and block an individual from my cell phone.  It is sad but also emancipating.  I have been spending more time alone, not only with games, but also other hobbies that I had not fully engaged in for several years, such as music and reading.   Gaming, as you describe it in your essay, is really just a placeholder for any hobby.   I have found that its important to spend a decent amount of time with oneself to reflect and dwell and because this helps me to figure out what I really value in life -- who I should be spending time with, who I should be avoiding, and which relationships are most meaningful to me in general.   

#52 Posted by Enigma777 (6057 posts) -
@Kandycane2029 said:
@Enigma777 said:
Man, challenge people's views a little and they get all antsy-pantsy. Anyways, I've stated my opinion and I stand by it. No amount of insulting is going to change that. 
I don't mean to insult you, duder. But I know people with these problems. It isn't pretty.
As do I. I'm not saying that they're faking it or aren't suffering. I just don't think it's right to lump all of them under one diagnosis. 

@ShaggE: First of all I think you're confusing depression with other types of mood disorders. Anyways, every person is unique, thus their minds are unique. Who are we to dictate what's normal and how people should act? If you want to cut yourself or lie in bed for 2 weeks without getting up, it's your choice. To simply drug them so they act "normal" and fit in our perceived image of society is ludicrous. Hell our entire system of "institutionalizing" the bad seeds (be it hospitals, prisons, asylums and so forth) is broken and has been for thousands of years. 
Online
#53 Posted by Magickeys (37 posts) -
@Enigma777 said:
I don't believe in depression. 
Depression exist and is an illness. This guy has all my support. Very good post Bassman.
#54 Posted by Yanngc33 (4496 posts) -

Had the same problem, couldn't escape in games anymore but my friends helped me to get out of the dump and now I enjoy gaming again :) Friends are very important in these kinds of situations, don't hesitate to lean on them and forget the ones that aren't worth it

#55 Edited by ShaggE (6331 posts) -
@Enigma777 said: 


@ShaggE: First of all I think you're confusing depression with other types of mood disorders. Anyways, every person is unique, thus their minds are unique. Who are we to dictate what's normal and how people should act? If you want to cut yourself or lie in bed for 2 weeks without getting up, it's your choice. To simply drug them so they act "normal" and fit in our perceived image of society is ludicrous. Hell our entire system of "institutionalizing" the bad seeds (be it hospitals, prisons, asylums and so forth) is broken and has been for thousands of years. 

I was pulling out my own experiences as an example. Depression isn't my only disorder, so there's some overlap. 
Now, I actually agree that "normal" is a ludicrous goal to strive for, and my time in institutions did as much harm as it did good. But the meds aren't there to make us "normal", they're just intended to stabilize the extreme ups and downs. A mental painkiller, if you will. Sure, the folks behind the meds don't have our well-being in mind as much as they do a fat check, but there's no arguing with the results. On and off my meds, I'm two entirely different people (I'm off at the moment, if my prior rant is any indication... sorry about that, by the way, I just take that sort of thing deeply personally), and although neither version of me fits "normality". my quality of life is notably better when I'm medicated. 
Online
#56 Edited by Daveyo520 (6652 posts) -
@Enigma777: That is just ugh... Yes it is real. Like seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? You are a fucking asshole.
#57 Posted by cheebaking (123 posts) -
@Enigma777 said:
@Kandycane2029 said:
@Enigma777 said:
Man, challenge people's views a little and they get all antsy-pantsy. Anyways, I've stated my opinion and I stand by it. No amount of insulting is going to change that. 
I don't mean to insult you, duder. But I know people with these problems. It isn't pretty.
As do I. I'm not saying that they're faking it or aren't suffering. I just don't think it's right to lump all of them under one diagnosis. 

@ShaggE: First of all I think you're confusing depression with other types of mood disorders. Anyways, every person is unique, thus their minds are unique. Who are we to dictate what's normal and how people should act? If you want to cut yourself or lie in bed for 2 weeks without getting up, it's your choice. To simply drug them so they act "normal" and fit in our perceived image of society is ludicrous. Hell our entire system of "institutionalizing" the bad seeds (be it hospitals, prisons, asylums and so forth) is broken and has been for thousands of years. 
Surely you must see its silly to assume people will get this from "I don't believe in depression".
#58 Posted by Kazona (3059 posts) -
@Enigma777 said:
@Kandycane2029 said:
@Enigma777 said:
Man, challenge people's views a little and they get all antsy-pantsy. Anyways, I've stated my opinion and I stand by it. No amount of insulting is going to change that. 
I don't mean to insult you, duder. But I know people with these problems. It isn't pretty.
As do I. I'm not saying that they're faking it or aren't suffering. I just don't think it's right to lump all of them under one diagnosis. 

@ShaggE: First of all I think you're confusing depression with other types of mood disorders. Anyways, every person is unique, thus their minds are unique. Who are we to dictate what's normal and how people should act? If you want to cut yourself or lie in bed for 2 weeks without getting up, it's your choice. To simply drug them so they act "normal" and fit in our perceived image of society is ludicrous. Hell our entire system of "institutionalizing" the bad seeds (be it hospitals, prisons, asylums and so forth) is broken and has been for thousands of years. 
No one is lumping them all under one diagnosis. We are talking about one person here, who says he sufferers from depression. I, too, suffer from depression, but with slight bi-polar tendencies. I have it mostly under control now simply because I spent a lot of time talking to a psychiatrist. Now I can get  by without medication, but at the time I really couldn't, and I'm grateful that medication like that exists or I might not have been around to write this response.
#59 Posted by Vodun (2370 posts) -
@Enigma777: Obviously you had a much deeper thought to your stance on this subject...so I gotta ask, why the original asshole/troll comment? "I don't believe in depression" is obviously just going to rile people up because anyone who has suffered from it, or know someone who has, has come into contact with some dick who thinks they should just "lighten up".
#60 Posted by BombKareshi (996 posts) -
@Enigma777 said:

@rootsaroundus said:

@Enigma777 said:
I don't believe in depression. 


that's cause you've never stayed in bed for 2 weeks straight without even getting up to go to the bathroom.

 

a depressed person won't care if he pisses the bed, or is hungry, or what have you. they lose hope in everything and everyone.

 

it exists.

Sounds like a case of "You need a good smack on the head." That or it's mental retardation... 
Hey, I was as skeptical as you about depression until last year when I dated someone that actually has the disease (yeah, depression is pretty much like a disease). It's not pretty; it destroys their lives and those of everyone close to them. Though I do suspect that the vast majority of cases are misdiagnosed or misinformed, i.e. there are a lot more people claiming to have clinical depression than actually do.
#61 Posted by Enigma777 (6057 posts) -
@Vodun said:
@Enigma777: Obviously you had a much deeper thought to your stance on this subject...so I gotta ask, why the original asshole/troll comment? "I don't believe in depression" is obviously just going to rile people up because anyone who has suffered from it, or know someone who has, has come into contact with some dick who thinks they should just "lighten up".
I wasn't really thinking when I posted that, but needless to say I didn't think it would cause quite the stir it did. 
Online
#62 Edited by Onced (106 posts) -

I think you're awesome Alex. It takes a good deal of internal fortitude to drudge through the oftentimes depressing mire of past history, especially to a relatively unknown quantity (that's unfortunately not showing its finest colours in this thread). Take some solace in the fact you're not alone with this condition and that you're making headways with keeping the problem in remission. For no reason at all, here's an adorable puppy. 


Keep on thinking positive! 

#63 Posted by GunslingerPanda (4632 posts) -
@Enigma777 said:
I don't believe in depression. 
That's because you're a fucking idiot.

I still think I would have killed myself if I had never played Metal Gear Solid 2. Thanks for writing this up, OP.
#64 Posted by Guided_By_Tigers (8061 posts) -

Is there a TL;DR version?

#65 Posted by S0ndor (2715 posts) -

Thanks for that. I'm currently having trouble with caring about anything in life. Not quite a depression, but I think I need some new surroundings. 

#66 Posted by perilator666 (434 posts) -

i live with depression, social anxiety disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. 


thanks for posting this thread.
#67 Posted by ChickenPants (934 posts) -

I can relate to a lot of the things you and others within this thread have wrote about.

Simply put, thanks for posting. :)

#68 Posted by Bumpton (441 posts) -


Amazing story, dude. Glad you're posting and feeling better!

 

Btw, for English not being your first language, you write better than 99% of people I know. That's awesome.

#69 Posted by Oni (2094 posts) -
@Bassman2112: Great blog, dude, I'm very happy for you. As someone who has danced on the edge of depression from time to time, I can relate to a lot of that, though I'd never claim to be clinically depressed (at least not yet). I am kind of lazy, and sometimes that laziness leads into spells of depression, and they feed off each other... I've been unable to commit to any sort of post highschool education, having tried twice, and don't really know what to do with my life. Sometimes it leaves me completely apathetic, other time I'm fine, but I worry I'm just sticking my head in the sand. Taking charge is a hard thing to do, sometimes...

If you ever want to talk, or even just vent, and there's no one around, hit me up.
#70 Posted by bassman2112 (819 posts) -
@Kandycane2029 said:
I have my own problems, and I do for fact use gaming as an escape. I'm unhappy with my life and my surroundings, and gaming helps me though it. But those are my own problems. My mother, however, has been through a lot. She was in a car crash in the early 80's and has brain injuries. This was before I was born. However, she gamed with me when I was a kid. We played Super Mario Bros. on NES when I was a kid to make me feel better when I was sick or when my brothers were at school. She's actually tried to understand my passion for gaming as is one of the main reminders of why I game, aside from my dad, who was a hardcore gamer during the NES days (He's dedicated to the Civ series, C&C, and an amazing Madden player now). I play Wii bowling with my mom a lot these days because it's easy for her to do, and she's GOOD at it (she used to be on a pro bowling team), and it connects us. She also asks me to come over and play story driven games for her because she likes to watch and absorb the story more than daily tv. She's a HUGE fan of Deadly Premonition and Alan Wake. She sometimes confuses the two though, but always asks me to play the game with Zach. I know for most people, they couldn't deal with her inability to explain what's constantly happening, but I love to do it. She loves gaming as much as me, and I always love coming over and playing a game for her to watch.EDIT: too lazy to correct my grammar/spelling errors. She also LOVES L.A. Noire.
I'm extremely glad that you have been able to maintain that relationship with your family, and especially seeing as the means still have that passion to them haha. I'm also really glad that it can still have that feeling of escape for you. I hope you and your mother can keep that bond for as long as possible, I think it's rare to people to keep a connection like that with anything (books, movies, etc) let alone video games.
I do hope you get an opportunity to make a change that could potentially help your state of mind, maybe a year abroad or randomly moving to Venezuela or something; but until then, I hope you still enjoy the times you have with your family =)

@crusader8463 said:
Something I realized recently, is how many games depression have/are going to ruin for me. I have played some really great games that I know I should love, but because of this dam depression I can't really feel anything towards them other then frustration at the few annoying parts.

Normally I just skim over long posts like that, but it was well written and since I could relate I read it all.

Anyway, I'm happy you got things together. Best of luck and all that.  

I do completely understand where you are coming from with that. In my example, I had tried to replay Mario 64 last year sometime. When I was a kid, that would constantly be my 'come home after school and spend 5 hours plowing through' game. When I tried playing it last year, none of it felt the same - I had to turn it off after about 10 minutes of play because I simply couldn't enjoy it.
After taking the time to 'take a break' from gaming and completely focus on the other aspects of my life, and getting it together by talking with friends and the like, I'm now able to go back to those things and adore them just as I used to.
I know it may seem somewhat fruitless right now and that it won't change; but trust me, if you take the time to help yourself it's entirely possible to regain those passions. It does take some work, and it does take a bit of self-reflection and questioning yourself; but, with time, things can and do get better <3

@MordeaniisChaos said:
@Bassman2112
I'm 17, and you pretty much described my life up to this point. It's refreshing to see someone so candid with such a thing. Thank you for writing this, if for no reason other than giving me a bit of perspective. Luckily, I learned to cope with most of it (or perhaps a better way of putting it is I'm learning to), a big chunk of that being my goal to join the Marines and the preparation required for that. I still am not very good at opening up, but occasionally I have someone who I can talk to about select things. This post has encouraged me to be more open with the people I do have, and I thank you for that.
This post really helps remind me that I can beat this, and just generally makes me smile to know someone else out there knows it, and has made strides as well.. Thank you. You've added to my determination and resolve, and hopefully you've managed to get through to other people through this.
Thank you.

Also, totally an adorable icon!

I'd really like to say I'm really glad you're able to be honest with yourself and have the maturity to admit it. For me, that was easily the most difficult step. I'd simply brush off the negative feelings as "ah it's just been a bad week/month/year/situation/etc." Once you can realize that you need to take a step forward to make a difference, that's when positive things can start happening.
It can't be understated how important friends can be in a situation where you're trying to expose yourself and get some advice. Having someone who's willing to join you for coffee/tea/juice/whatever-you-may-enjoy and listen to what you're willing to say is priceless. It is also equally astounding to have someone who is willing to be open about themselves as well. Knowing you could potentially be helping your friends is incredibly rewarding, and having another perspective is just as useful for healing yourself.
Thank you a ton for both reading this and opening up. It's quite humbling to know something I'd written about a true life experience could affect someone positively. Thank you, again. I do hope things can work out for you, and just know that you can feel free to contact me at any time - even though we may be in different countries, we're still people who care =)

<3
#71 Posted by habster3 (3595 posts) -

The other night, I tried cutting myself in the bathroom to relieve the stress of life. I'm passed that (primarily because I got new medication), but I understand how you feel, duder.

#72 Posted by bassman2112 (819 posts) -
@Levio said:
The best thing to do when depressed is to find something that gives you hope for the long-term future.  If there's something you can fall-back on even when everything else seems hopeless, like religion or technology, that can make a huge difference.

I actually ended up coming to a similar conclusion after the initial 'batch' of everything was said and done =) Luckily, I found that in one of my old best friends - as well as books! For me, religion is not helpful though. I apologize if that comes across as trite or anything; but I am a steadfast atheist. I actually donate multiple hours of my time to secular volunteer organizations (specifically, the Medicine River Wildlife Centre). I shall leave it at that, though haha.
I do thoroughly agree and would like to thank you a lot for the advice =) (Interesting Wiki article, btw)

@xsheps said:
Excellent post.   Your writing, both in terms of style and content, suggests to me that you are highly intelligent.  I think its probably a risk factor for depression.   You have an understanding of the world that most people do not.   I too have gone through several changes in my personal life recently.  Notably, I had to abandon two people who I knew when I was younger because while I matured emotionally they did not and became disasters to be around.   I had to delete my twitter and facebook accounts and block an individual from my cell phone.  It is sad but also emancipating.  I have been spending more time alone, not only with games, but also other hobbies that I had not fully engaged in for several years, such as music and reading.   Gaming, as you describe it in your essay, is really just a placeholder for any hobby.   I have found that its important to spend a decent amount of time with oneself to reflect and dwell and because this helps me to figure out what I really value in life -- who I should be spending time with, who I should be avoiding, and which relationships are most meaningful to me in general.   

Haha, I don't know if I'd consider myself highly intelligent; but learned through negative situations for sure, unfortunately haha.

I do get where you're coming from with the deletion of Facebook and blocking cell numbers, I've recently had to do a lot of cleansing in similar ways. As mentioned in my post, there were friends who stopped talking to me due to lies. These lies were started by my ex girlfriend who cheated on me; but remained in this city while I was away for University and maintained all of our mutual friends. She convinced them of a lot of things, all of which are false unfortunately. This resulted in me trying to patch things up with friends; but them simply not being willing to listen.

I suppose the cliché of 'learning things the hard way' is directly applicable when you have no other choice.

Thankfully, this does have a very positive spin to it. I took the time to 'bookend' a lot of those friendships, telling my friends that I'd leave them alone but just wanted one last opportunity to talk before we went our different ways. They all ended on positive terms, and I even convinced that same ex to do the same.

It is such a positive feeling to know that you did have a friendship that you can look back on and love; but also know it ended on good terms, and now you have the opportunity to try new things with new people - potentially gaining an even more endearing relationship in the process.

Thank you a ton for reading this post of mine, it is very appreciated and it's just enthralling to know that others have fallen to the same conclusions I have through completely different experiences. Thank you.
#73 Posted by bassman2112 (819 posts) -
@Onced said:
I think you're awesome Alex. It takes a good deal of internal fortitude to drudge through the oftentimes depressing mire of past history, especially to a relatively unknown quantity (that's unfortunately not showing its finest colours in this thread). Take some solace in the fact you're not alone with this condition and that you're making headways with keeping the problem in remission. For no reason at all, here's an adorable puppy. 
Keep on thinking positive! 
Hahaha, thank you a ton for the egg-pup! That is a wonderful picture =)
Thank you for the kind words, it is people like you that make me adore this community. I truly hope to give back to it someday.
Thanks again <3

@S0ndor said:
Thanks for that. I'm currently having trouble with caring about anything in life. Not quite a depression, but I think I need some new surroundings. 
Thank you for taking the time to read it =)
Sometimes a new set of surroundings can do a whole ton of good. Getting an opportunity to have a fresh start and get a new mindset is massively appealing. I'm currently working towards moving to Boston (currently located in Western Canada). It will be such a refreshing experience to completely start anew.
If you have the opportunity to travel or make some kind of change, I would recommend it.
As cheesy as this may sound, life isn't as long as we give it credit for - it's worth having life-changing experiences while you have the freedom to do so.
<3

@habster3 said:
The other night, I tried cutting myself in the bathroom to relieve the stress of life. I'm passed that (primarily because I got new medication), but I understand how you feel, duder.

I know what it's like to feel like you need to resort to personal injury, but never had the courage to go through with it. I truly hope you are ok, and would like to honestly extend my hand for if you ever need someone to talk to - be it over a text-based medium like this, PMs, e-mails or whatever; or if you have Skype, a talk.
<3
#74 Posted by gamefreak9 (2344 posts) -
@ShaggE said:
@Enigma777 said:
All I'm saying is that "clinical depression" is a way to sell drugs to people that don't need them. 
So trying to kill yourself at 5 years of age is normal? Spending the entirety of your teenage years in and out of residential facilities because being left to your own devices for too long is a huge gamble on your safety is normal? Going from loving life to wanting to see everybody burn and then back to loving life again in the course of ten seconds is normal? How about being unable to hold most jobs because the pressure crushes you after a week or two, and that's assuming they even hire you in the first place after seeing the hundreds of scars all over your body?

I'd give any goddamn thing to see you deal with clinical depression for a week or two. Hell, even just a day. 
by the way, all of those things you said are normal. WHen your a kid you don't value your life as much. Facilities? too broad school is a facility, household is a facility. Yes hating and loving people in 10 seconds is completely normal, i can't imagine anyone has not lived through that. Most people can't hold jobs, it takes getting used to, people are 90 per cent more likely to quit within the first month rather than the first year. Scars is definitely just a solution for weak willed people. 
#75 Posted by bassman2112 (819 posts) -
@Enigma777:

I've been reading every response you've written since the first, but had been waiting to say anything until some time had passed. I'd just like to take some time and directly address you as well as some of the things you've been saying since the start.

Firstly, I appreciate that you're able to be steadfast in maintaining your original point and expanding on it - a lot of people try to redact statements and say "oh no, you misinterpreted" while trying to backtrack. You haven't done that, and now I totally understand what you had been trying to say from the start. Thank you for being honest with people and everything.

With that being said, I completely disagree with what you had said about depression being a conscious decision on any sufferers' part.

I did not have a choice in losing more friends & family than I can count on both of my hands in car accidents and murders.

I did not have a choice in seeing my family fall apart.

I did not have a choice in losing nearly every friend I held dearest to me due to stupid drama.

The fact is that every situation is different when it comes to depression, but it is simply not someone's conscious choice to have it. We, people, are much more fragile than we give ourselves credit for. When things go wrong, we tend to fall into self-defeating ways and have a hard time seeing any positives in a situation. For some people, they can endure a lot of hardship before this shines through, and others are set off by very simple events. Every situation is different, and every solution is different. My posting of this was simply to let other people know who may be suffering that, 'yes, it is possible for things to get better' and to hopefully let people know that these feelings happen with others too.

Thank you for responding to my post, but please.. Be more tactful in situations in which you may be ignorant. I am not bitter, nor am I going to insult you. I understand to people who don't suffer from depression that it looks so silly from the outside, but when you have it and when good friends/family you know have it... It's a devastating condition, and must be taken somewhat seriously.

I mean, if I knew you better maybe I'd crack some jokes with you after we'd grown close; but again, please, have some tact.

Thanks.
#76 Posted by ShaggE (6331 posts) -
@gamefreak9 said:
@ShaggE said:
@Enigma777 said:
All I'm saying is that "clinical depression" is a way to sell drugs to people that don't need them. 
So trying to kill yourself at 5 years of age is normal? Spending the entirety of your teenage years in and out of residential facilities because being left to your own devices for too long is a huge gamble on your safety is normal? Going from loving life to wanting to see everybody burn and then back to loving life again in the course of ten seconds is normal? How about being unable to hold most jobs because the pressure crushes you after a week or two, and that's assuming they even hire you in the first place after seeing the hundreds of scars all over your body?

I'd give any goddamn thing to see you deal with clinical depression for a week or two. Hell, even just a day. 
by the way, all of those things you said are normal. WHen your a kid you don't value your life as much. Facilities? too broad school is a facility, household is a facility. Yes hating and loving people in 10 seconds is completely normal, i can't imagine anyone has not lived through that. Most people can't hold jobs, it takes getting used to, people are 90 per cent more likely to quit within the first month rather than the first year. Scars is definitely just a solution for weak willed people. 
You seem to be picking and choosing words from my post. No, a five year old attempting to strangle themselves with a rope with a conscious intention to die is not normal. "Residential facility" is the term used for a treatment center that provides long-term 24 hour therapy. Neither schools nor households provide this. There's a difference between normal mood swings and truly wanting to see the earth's population dead, even if you'd never actually harm somebody. I also rarely (read never) see people at their jobs suddenly leave their work station in mid-shift for no real reason other than the inability to deal with their own thoughts while performing mindless routines. 

As for the scarring (thanks for implying that I'm weak-willed, incidentally. Nice to make such a strong assumption based on next to no information), it's an addiction to the chemical release you get when injured, not "boohoo, I has a sad, better get out the Cure CDs and a razor". 
Online
#77 Posted by Tebbit (4449 posts) -

While I also re-iterate the glowing comments elsewhere in this thread, what I'm really here to say is that you got mad English skills for someone who has learnt it as a second language.
Very eloquent!

#78 Edited by FluxWaveZ (19308 posts) -

Without video games, I'd have no desire to live. I'm socially inept and I've got no friends at all, hopes for my future or desire to continue with the 'Hell on Earth' that is school. I spend most of my time playing video games for the same reason I daydream so often: escapism. It's nice to be able to picture myself in a world other than this one. It makes me feel relaxed, in a way.


I probably suffer from depression, but I can't know for certain since I've not sought to be diagnosed with anything. There's a lot that torments me, a lot that I've managed to repress (I can't remember much about my past except for certain significant moments), but I've got no one to talk to about it and, honestly, I wouldn't really want to, either. I'm introverted, like most who posted in this thread probably are as well, and I don't find pleasure in expressing myself openly.

Sometimes I wonder "What's the point?" "Why do I continue going to school?" I can't really find an answer to those questions, either. I don't care much about my future as there's nothing to look forward to at all. I'm only 17, so that means I've got several more years of suffering at the hands of education ahead of me and the rest will be suffering via work.

At least I've always got video games.

And I'm glad you could find a way out of your condition. I wish I could.
#79 Posted by pekoe212 (434 posts) -
@GunslingerPanda said:
@Enigma777 said:
I don't believe in depression. 
That's because you're a fucking idiot.

I still think I would have killed myself if I had never played Metal Gear Solid 2. Thanks for writing this up, OP.
For me it was World of Warcraft (ok, that's kind of embarrassing). When I was suffering from agoraphobia it helped me pretend I was outside and connected to other people, and reminded me that there were still things in the world, even if it was just videogames, that i still enjoyed and were worth living for. Really helped me calm down, tell myself I'd do better the next day.
#80 Posted by mutha3 (4985 posts) -
@FluxWaveZ said:
I probably suffer from depression, but I can't know for certain since I've not sought to be diagnosed with anything.

Not to poke around, but why? You do realize its entirely possible that your brain is literally preventing you from being happy through chemical imbalance right? If you honestly suspect you're suffer from debilitating depression, get that checked man.

....From your posts you don't sound very happy with how things are. What do you have to lose?
#81 Edited by FluxWaveZ (19308 posts) -
@mutha3: I've not seen a psychiatrist for several reasons. One of them is laziness. Another one is my belief that it would be useless. How would learning I have a disorder aid me? By knowing which medicine I should take? I don't think I ever want to take "happy pills". Third, I don't want to talk to a psychiatrist. I don't feel like telling anyone, especially a stranger, about myself.
#82 Posted by bassman2112 (819 posts) -
@FluxWaveZ said:
@mutha3: I've not seen a psychiatrist for several reasons. One of them is laziness. Another one is my belief that it would be useless. How would learning I have a disorder aid me? By knowing which medicine I should take? I don't think I ever want to take "happy pills". Third, I don't want to talk to a psychiatrist. I don't feel like telling anyone, especially a stranger, about myself.
I do not claim to be an expert, nor do I claim to know you; but you may learn more about yourself with a psychiatrist than you ever would have known.

No-one forces you to take pills, I refuse to use any sort of medication (as stated at the start of this post). It can be extremely helpful for your state of mind if you take the time to release some of those inhibitions and let go of past events.

Laziness is no excuse. Why are you 'settling' for living when you can go out and make things better, you know? Passion is the greatest thing you can have, you just need to find it again.
#83 Posted by The_Grindilow (429 posts) -
@Bassman2112:  That was probably the most enlightening thing I have read in a long time. I too have been suffering from depression, and I know how it feels, and the challenges of getting out of the cycle.

For those who have doubted previously in the thread, it exists, and it's the worst possible thing to go through, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, its pretty difficult to describe how it feels without experiencing it. A few years ago I would probably have shrugged it off, but it happens, and eventually you learn to deal with it. My depression started after a break up with a long time girlfriend, when I realised i'd pretty much been manipulated and made to feel insignificant for a long, long time, and it's funny how in the heat of the emotions, things like that get to you. You lose all perspective of your thoughts and become totally engrossed in your own universe.

Just wanted to say that your post was extremely heartwarming and it gives others, like me, who are also experiencing depression, that extra bit of confidence. It's an illness that strikes a lot of people during their lives, and they all get through it, you just gotta 'keep on truckin'.
#84 Posted by Enigma777 (6057 posts) -
@Bassman2112 said:
@Enigma777:

I've been reading every response you've written since the first, but had been waiting to say anything until some time had passed. I'd just like to take some time and directly address you as well as some of the things you've been saying since the start.

Firstly, I appreciate that you're able to be steadfast in maintaining your original point and expanding on it - a lot of people try to redact statements and say "oh no, you misinterpreted" while trying to backtrack. You haven't done that, and now I totally understand what you had been trying to say from the start. Thank you for being honest with people and everything.

With that being said, I completely disagree with what you had said about depression being a conscious decision on any sufferers' part.

I did not have a choice in losing more friends & family than I can count on both of my hands in car accidents and murders.

I did not have a choice in seeing my family fall apart.

I did not have a choice in losing nearly every friend I held dearest to me due to stupid drama.

The fact is that every situation is different when it comes to depression, but it is simply not someone's conscious choice to have it. We, people, are much more fragile than we give ourselves credit for. When things go wrong, we tend to fall into self-defeating ways and have a hard time seeing any positives in a situation. For some people, they can endure a lot of hardship before this shines through, and others are set off by very simple events. Every situation is different, and every solution is different. My posting of this was simply to let other people know who may be suffering that, 'yes, it is possible for things to get better' and to hopefully let people know that these feelings happen with others too. Thank you for responding to my post, but please.. Be more tactful in situations in which you may be ignorant. I am not bitter, nor am I going to insult you. I understand to people who don't suffer from depression that it looks so silly from the outside, but when you have it and when good friends/family you know have it... It's a devastating condition, and must be taken somewhat seriously.I mean, if I knew you better maybe I'd crack some jokes with you after we'd grown close; but again, please, have some tact.Thanks.
First of all thank you for not insulting me. I've gotten some... disturbing pm's over this.

Anyways, I just want to make a small correction to what you said. I never said that being depressed is a conscious decision. Depression is an emotion, and like all emotions we can't really control them. At least I don't know anyone who can... Also my problem isn't with the people who are suffering, but with the doctors who diagnose them, the therapists who treat them and the system that has taught them to do so.

You're right that I should have been more tactful, and for that I apologize. 

With that said, I am done with this discussion.
Online
#85 Posted by The_Grindilow (429 posts) -
@Enigma777 said:
@Bassman2112 said:
@Enigma777:

I've been reading every response you've written since the first, but had been waiting to say anything until some time had passed. I'd just like to take some time and directly address you as well as some of the things you've been saying since the start.

Firstly, I appreciate that you're able to be steadfast in maintaining your original point and expanding on it - a lot of people try to redact statements and say "oh no, you misinterpreted" while trying to backtrack. You haven't done that, and now I totally understand what you had been trying to say from the start. Thank you for being honest with people and everything.

With that being said, I completely disagree with what you had said about depression being a conscious decision on any sufferers' part.

I did not have a choice in losing more friends & family than I can count on both of my hands in car accidents and murders.

I did not have a choice in seeing my family fall apart.

I did not have a choice in losing nearly every friend I held dearest to me due to stupid drama.

The fact is that every situation is different when it comes to depression, but it is simply not someone's conscious choice to have it. We, people, are much more fragile than we give ourselves credit for. When things go wrong, we tend to fall into self-defeating ways and have a hard time seeing any positives in a situation. For some people, they can endure a lot of hardship before this shines through, and others are set off by very simple events. Every situation is different, and every solution is different. My posting of this was simply to let other people know who may be suffering that, 'yes, it is possible for things to get better' and to hopefully let people know that these feelings happen with others too. Thank you for responding to my post, but please.. Be more tactful in situations in which you may be ignorant. I am not bitter, nor am I going to insult you. I understand to people who don't suffer from depression that it looks so silly from the outside, but when you have it and when good friends/family you know have it... It's a devastating condition, and must be taken somewhat seriously.I mean, if I knew you better maybe I'd crack some jokes with you after we'd grown close; but again, please, have some tact.Thanks.
First of all thank you for not insulting me. I've gotten some... disturbing pm's over this.

Anyways, I just want to make a small correction to what you said. I never said that being depressed is a conscious decision. Depression is an emotion, and like all emotions we can't really control them. At least I don't know anyone who can... Also my problem isn't with the people who are suffering, but with the doctors who diagnose them, the therapists who treat them and the system that has taught them to do so.

You're right that I should have been more tactful, and for that I apologize. 

With that said, I am done with this discussion.
Dude, just think before you post certain things. It's easy to turn a blind eye when you're perfectly content, I may of done the same thing a year or so ago, but it happens man. It's a topic that is very often brushed under the carpet and unspoken of, but the reality is that depression (as you can see from this thread) impacts on ALOT of people. It is by far the worst thing I have ever gone through, i'd rather have had god knows how many broken arms/legs. Just trying to emplore you to think before you post certain things.
#86 Posted by laserbolts (5311 posts) -
Well written and very thought provoking. I wish I had the courage to do the same. I know I'm depressed but I never really talk about it. I put on my mask whenever I'm thrown into a social situation even though I haven't truly enjoyed anything outside of the gaming world in years. I can't remember the last time that I actually felt like smiling or being even the least bit satisfied with my life. Perhaps one day I'll actually get the balls to go see someone about it before it gets even worse. I don't think I would ever really take my own life due to the fact that it would rip my mother apart. I gotta say if it wasn't for my mom I really don't know what would have happened to me. Thanks for the read and it's good to hear you're feeling better.
#87 Edited by mutha3 (4985 posts) -
@FluxWaveZ said:

@mutha3: How would learning I have a disorder aid me?

Do you really not want to know if there is anything wrong with you? Do you actually believe scientologist nonsense about psychiatrist being con-artists who secretly control the nation?Mental health professionals are trained in the field for a reason. If they do discover something wrong with you, be it chemical imbalance or emotional damage, they'll take further steps in attempting to build you a future you'll be happy about.

Not trying to be mean here: but you are likely not a super special once-in-a-million doomed example, Your depression may very well be just a textbook example to these people.

 By knowing which medicine I should take? I don't think I ever want to take "happy pills".


I fully understand the American fear of pills. After all, the medicine industry is big business over there...But depression can very often be entirely outside of a person's control. Like I said earlier, your brain may be literally preventing you from shaking that depression. For many people, medication is the only choice they have.

And "happy pills" don't exist. No matter what medication you take, it will inevitably go hand-in-hand with years of therapy. Yes, life sucks. But that doesn't mean you should be complacent about trying to obtain happiness.


  Third, I don't want to talk to a psychiatrist. I don't feel like telling anyone, especially a stranger, about myself. 

Again, understandable. But consider the alternative. It might be hard and/or painful for you to sum up the courage, but its a chance to find out what's "wrong" with you and maybe even a way to turn your life around for the better. At least consider it. 
#88 Posted by Jackel2072 (2236 posts) -

i will come back with a better comment later. im at work right now. just read your blog and like to say i can relate to some of the stuff you were saying. Giant Bomb has gotten me out of some pretty deep holes in the past. thats why i love em so much. and the GB comunity is great.

#89 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -

I'm glad you opened up, and i'm even gladder that you're on the path of recovery, and i'm glad to have you back with us in the gaming world.


however, it naturally saddens me that the word PC gradually decreased  until it was nowhere to be seen by the end of your post.
#90 Posted by bassman2112 (819 posts) -
@Ahmad_Metallic said:
I'm glad you opened up, and i'm even gladder that you're on the path of recovery, and i'm glad to have you back with us in the gaming world.

however, it naturally saddens me that the word PC gradually decreased  until it was nowhere to be seen by the end of your post.
Haha, I had actually realized that after posting I barely talked about any of the PC games I'm plowing through =P
Don't worry, it's still the primary machine for gaming =) CS(S and 1.6), Battlefield 2 and BC 2 are all still played daily. Recently finished off Batman, working on Darksiders, did some Civ 4 a week or so ago, Audiosurf has some appearances...
PC is definitely the best for community and control, IMO =)
#91 Edited by Hockeymask27 (3683 posts) -

I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't depressed. At this point though I find it normal and only on really bad days does it affect my drive to enjoy things. I totally understand being not in the right mood to play video games. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you luck in the future. As for me like I said it may sound crazy but I think the little depression I have is normal and most times I rise above it.

Also I would never kill myself because no matter how shitty life is you only get one so enjoy the shit while you can.
#92 Posted by ShaggE (6331 posts) -
@laserbolts said:
 Perhaps one day I'll actually get the balls to go see someone about it before it gets even worse. 
Do it. Waiting until it's too much to handle is the worst possible course of action. 
Online
#93 Posted by TEHMAXXORZ (1199 posts) -
@Enigma777: I understand what you're saying, but I think the main reason people are attacking your views is because of how you worded it...
#94 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -
@Bassman2112:   Good to know :) keep your PC gaming on ^^
#95 Posted by Xpgamer7 (2376 posts) -

Great post. I was depressed at a point and hope you'll continue feeling better.

#96 Posted by Ben99 (1135 posts) -

that was a great read . I could relate to some parts of it especially the repressed feelings .


#97 Posted by shinigami420 (640 posts) -

OHHHHHH WALL OF TEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



#98 Posted by shinigami420 (640 posts) -
@Claude:  your beard is fucking sick!!!!! really really like it 
#99 Posted by geirr (2476 posts) -

Pardon me for saying but your clinical depression sounds like a walk through a back alley.

"Wow, it got dark for a little while but now it's fine since I had the will to share my feelings and emotions with someone."
I'm glad it was that straight forward for you, envious even, but deeper depressions which have been with some
since birth and really aren't triggered by any tragic events (then again one could argue birth is traumatic,
sure as hell looks and sounds like it!) have no cure beyond death or a sudden inexplicable change in the chemistry.
They just, seemingly by random chance, happened to be born in "off-mode" - and that's why it irks me a little when I see people saying they've been there.

But I guess one never would know unless having been there, how could anyone.
#100 Posted by Mr_Skeleton (5137 posts) -

Glad to hear you are feeling better, I also going through some dark times and it's always nice to know I am not the only one.