shinji hate has always been bullshit imo.
try dealing with some of the psychologically and otherwise horrifying shit that shinji had to deal with and see how you would act.
also HE'S JUST A KID!!!
Yeah but putting him in a main character role, particularly in the movies where he's close to the sole focus, and making him so whinny, again, in the movies he's either complaining or panicings the whole time, isn't really compelling.