There be mad trolling in this thread.
Casual Sex - Good or Bad?
Or I'm an adult with a different frame of mind then yours altogether. Good to know a differing opinion equals being "small minded."@kmdrkul said:
@HatKing said:It didn't work out so well for me, or anybody who I've ever known to go that route, but perhaps you'd be different. Don't go into it expecting to be fulfilled in meaning of the word. You'll have a few seconds of bliss followed by either apathy or emptiness, depending on you state of mind. You'll find yourself bouncing from partner to partner breaking hearts and wasting time and then when you finally do meet somebody you want to be with you'll have a very hard time explaining your past lifestyle. But maybe that's just me.Totally agree with this. Honestly a big part of sex to me is intimacy with somebody you LOVE; it's not just solely about short-term physical pleasure. There are a few "loosey goosey" type of girls I knew from high school that lived this sort of lifestyle where they thought that because they're in their late teens/early twenties they should "use it before they lose it" or "mess around before they settle down," and they're miserable. And no guy wanting an actual relationship is going to be happy when the topic of previous relationships/sexual partners comes up. Personally I would have a REALLY hard time looking past that no matter how much I may or may not believe in second chances and whatnot.I don't. I'm a guy. I've had casual sex and relationship sex and stuff in-between. I survived and a lot of it was fun. I also am not so small minded that I should judge anyone who I befriend or fall in love with too. Either you're an adult and you accept people who do adult things or you're a person in adult body with the mind of a child who can't deal with adult concepts. Being responsible means owning up to your own choices, not judging other people for their own. "loosey goosey" - where are you from? 1950s Smalltown USA?
And no, I am taking the term "loosey goosey" from a classic band of this generation... Tenacious D.
What does being a guy have to do with anything? I've met as many sexually confused, emotionally unstable and heart broken men as I have women. And as I said, it may differ for you - but you're the exception. Nobody I've ever known has had a fulfilling experience bouncing around between partners having meaningless sex.@SeriouslyNow said:
Or I'm an adult with a different frame of mind then yours altogether. Good to know a differing opinion equals being "small minded." And no, I am taking the term "loosey goosey" from a classic band of this generation... Tenacious D.@kmdrkul said:
@HatKing said:It didn't work out so well for me, or anybody who I've ever known to go that route, but perhaps you'd be different. Don't go into it expecting to be fulfilled in meaning of the word. You'll have a few seconds of bliss followed by either apathy or emptiness, depending on you state of mind. You'll find yourself bouncing from partner to partner breaking hearts and wasting time and then when you finally do meet somebody you want to be with you'll have a very hard time explaining your past lifestyle. But maybe that's just me.Totally agree with this. Honestly a big part of sex to me is intimacy with somebody you LOVE; it's not just solely about short-term physical pleasure. There are a few "loosey goosey" type of girls I knew from high school that lived this sort of lifestyle where they thought that because they're in their late teens/early twenties they should "use it before they lose it" or "mess around before they settle down," and they're miserable. And no guy wanting an actual relationship is going to be happy when the topic of previous relationships/sexual partners comes up. Personally I would have a REALLY hard time looking past that no matter how much I may or may not believe in second chances and whatnot.I don't. I'm a guy. I've had casual sex and relationship sex and stuff in-between. I survived and a lot of it was fun. I also am not so small minded that I should judge anyone who I befriend or fall in love with too. Either you're an adult and you accept people who do adult things or you're a person in adult body with the mind of a child who can't deal with adult concepts. Being responsible means owning up to your own choices, not judging other people for their own. "loosey goosey" - where are you from? 1950s Smalltown USA?
Further, I was not trying to condone judging a partner on their past, but whether you like to pretend you're better than that or not, people do it - and you'll likely do it too. If you found out a partner had cut the sex organs off their past six partners would you be okay with it as long as they said "oh, no I'm past all that part of my life." No, you wouldn't. You would be afraid you're the next in that series of victims. And the same applies to a person who has had a lot of meaningless sex. You'll question whether you're as special as they might claim or if you're just one more bit of fun along their path of fucking meaninglessly.
@kmdrkul said:
@SeriouslyNow said:Or I'm an adult with a different frame of mind then yours altogether. Good to know a differing opinion equals being "small minded." And no, I am taking the term "loosey goosey" from a classic band of this generation... Tenacious D.@kmdrkul said:
@HatKing said:It didn't work out so well for me, or anybody who I've ever known to go that route, but perhaps you'd be different. Don't go into it expecting to be fulfilled in meaning of the word. You'll have a few seconds of bliss followed by either apathy or emptiness, depending on you state of mind. You'll find yourself bouncing from partner to partner breaking hearts and wasting time and then when you finally do meet somebody you want to be with you'll have a very hard time explaining your past lifestyle. But maybe that's just me.Totally agree with this. Honestly a big part of sex to me is intimacy with somebody you LOVE; it's not just solely about short-term physical pleasure. There are a few "loosey goosey" type of girls I knew from high school that lived this sort of lifestyle where they thought that because they're in their late teens/early twenties they should "use it before they lose it" or "mess around before they settle down," and they're miserable. And no guy wanting an actual relationship is going to be happy when the topic of previous relationships/sexual partners comes up. Personally I would have a REALLY hard time looking past that no matter how much I may or may not believe in second chances and whatnot.I don't. I'm a guy. I've had casual sex and relationship sex and stuff in-between. I survived and a lot of it was fun. I also am not so small minded that I should judge anyone who I befriend or fall in love with too. Either you're an adult and you accept people who do adult things or you're a person in adult body with the mind of a child who can't deal with adult concepts. Being responsible means owning up to your own choices, not judging other people for their own. "loosey goosey" - where are you from? 1950s Smalltown USA?
You do realise that when Kyle and Jack use that term they're being sarcastic. They also make jokes about cock push-ups and fucking her gently. Judging people for having a good time with their bodies (at no expense to others) and misreading adult humour are sure signs of immaturity.
@kmdrkul said:What am I the exception to?What does being a guy have to do with anything? I've met as many sexually confused, emotionally unstable and heart broken men as I have women. And as I said, it may differ for you - but you're the exception. Nobody I've ever known has had a fulfilling experience bouncing around between partners having meaningless sex. Further, I was not trying to condone judging a partner on their past, but whether you like to pretend you're better than that or not, people do it - and you'll likely do it too. If you found out a partner had cut the sex organs off their past six partners would you be okay with it as long as they said "oh, no I'm past all that part of my life." No, you wouldn't. You would be afraid you're the next in that series of victims. And the same applies to a person who has had a lot of meaningless sex. You'll question whether you're as special as they might claim or if you're just one more bit of fun along their path of fucking meaninglessly.@SeriouslyNow said:
Or I'm an adult with a different frame of mind then yours altogether. Good to know a differing opinion equals being "small minded." And no, I am taking the term "loosey goosey" from a classic band of this generation... Tenacious D.@kmdrkul said:
@HatKing said:It didn't work out so well for me, or anybody who I've ever known to go that route, but perhaps you'd be different. Don't go into it expecting to be fulfilled in meaning of the word. You'll have a few seconds of bliss followed by either apathy or emptiness, depending on you state of mind. You'll find yourself bouncing from partner to partner breaking hearts and wasting time and then when you finally do meet somebody you want to be with you'll have a very hard time explaining your past lifestyle. But maybe that's just me.Totally agree with this. Honestly a big part of sex to me is intimacy with somebody you LOVE; it's not just solely about short-term physical pleasure. There are a few "loosey goosey" type of girls I knew from high school that lived this sort of lifestyle where they thought that because they're in their late teens/early twenties they should "use it before they lose it" or "mess around before they settle down," and they're miserable. And no guy wanting an actual relationship is going to be happy when the topic of previous relationships/sexual partners comes up. Personally I would have a REALLY hard time looking past that no matter how much I may or may not believe in second chances and whatnot.I don't. I'm a guy. I've had casual sex and relationship sex and stuff in-between. I survived and a lot of it was fun. I also am not so small minded that I should judge anyone who I befriend or fall in love with too. Either you're an adult and you accept people who do adult things or you're a person in adult body with the mind of a child who can't deal with adult concepts. Being responsible means owning up to your own choices, not judging other people for their own. "loosey goosey" - where are you from? 1950s Smalltown USA?
I admitted to probably judging somebody on their past - show me somebody who is truly not judgmental? Like I said, I'd have a REALLY hard time looking past it and I'm willing to bet any guy or gal who meets somebody with a past like that would question it too.
so this actually turned into an actual discussion?
ill add in another question:
is casual sex good when youre a teenager?
@kmdrkul said:
@SeriouslyNow: Yawn. Whatever gets you off. For some I guess it's calling people immature on a video game forum. I've never been so thoroughly underwhelmed with someone's effort to be a jerk.
I'm not being a jerk, I'm telling you, as an adult, that judging someone you're supposed to feel for that you don't condone what they may have before they met you is childish. It just is. Love isn't about judging people and if you think you can't love someone who has done things you have not or cannot then you will likely find yourself to be very bored, lonely or both in the longer term. Love is acceptance, not judgement.
So because acceptance may be difficult it makes somebody a child? Judgment is not childish at all, it's a natural feeling in people.@kmdrkul said:
@SeriouslyNow: Yawn. Whatever gets you off. For some I guess it's calling people immature on a video game forum. I've never been so thoroughly underwhelmed with someone's effort to be a jerk.I'm not being a jerk, I'm telling you, as an adult, that judging someone you're supposed to feel for that you don't condone what they may have before they met you is childish. It just is. Love isn't about judging people and if you think you can't love someone who has done things you have not or cannot then you will likely find yourself to be very bored, lonely or both in the longer term. Love is acceptance, not judgement.
casual sex is a meaningless way to describe something unless it is describing the amount of sex one is having. if you mean emotionless, purely physical sex...such a thing doesn't and will never exist. purely physical sex can never happen because it would be the definition of selfishness...plus it would be comically embarrassing. by this I mean, it would entail not caring at all about how the other person feels amidst the act. furthermore, speaking as a 22 year old heterosexual male...masturbation has always been the better alternative to emotionless sex...there is no girl on the planet that knows how to get me off better than I do and, logically, I'm sure the same can be said about nearly everyone else - man or woman. so, the idea of casual sex without the force of emotion behind it seems rather pathetic and shallow and I say this with experience...unfortunately.
sex is hugely emotional no matter what people say and for the groups that say it isn't and say that "casual" or emotionless sex can be had, either don't know how they feel on the matter or are lying to themselves - and this IS a judgement, as I have been apart of this. for people that claim that the sex they have is purely physical and emotionless tend to not verbalize what its impact is in their life and, most always, is a way to deal with other emotional stresses about other relationships or lack thereof or other forms of social alienation and/or confusion. it may also be an ego thing but that is also linked to the previous sentence. having sex solely to JUST have sex is kind of impossible. also, one will invariably hear the statement that "humans are animals and need to spread their seed" and so forth, however applying this to our sexual behaviour is a hugely erroneous analogy and when you think about this and the idea of what differentiates our species from others, such a thing to say comes off as wildly idiotic and just plain bizarre.
I should state now that you should have sex whenever:
you feel you are ready to do so
you know ALL the risks involved
you know how it will affect your social surroundings
you are with someone you care about
and/or
you know how BOTH of you feel about the matter
if you're old enough to want to have sex and know what a relationship is, you are, in essence, making an unspoken agreement when you enter into a sexual/or more regular relationship that things MOST LIKELY will never go your way and you will either ruin whatever relationship you had or deservedly become "the bad guy" or get your heart broken or wind up together happily.
Ultimately, in this ridiculously pretentious post, turning to "casual sex" is not always the answer and most probably means you are missing something important in your life. one can have all the "casual sex" they want, just don't confuse it with something that is necessarily a thing to be proud of because its kind of lame once you know what sex in the RIGHT romantic relationship backed up by intense feelings is like. "casual sex" is like watching porn and romantic sex is like having the sex that every horny, adolescent sex-crazed, teenage-virgin dreams of having - you know, the dreamy good stuff :)
I want to refrain from saying "what make a man a man..." because it sounds kinda lame, so I'll say what makes a good partner a good partner is being able to satisfy all your partner's physical and sexual desires and to always be supportive and true to them because emotions and sex are WAY more linked than one would think.
a drunken one night stand or even a sober fuck fest with someone you don't know emotionally is pathetic when you could be having awesome athletic sex with someone you love or deeply care for and are able to look deeply into their eyes and hold them close when they come ...such a sight and feeling is much more fulfilling and beautiful than masturbation and infinitely better than "casual sex" and also much harder to achieve.
@kmdrkul said:
@SeriouslyNow said:So because acceptance may be difficult it makes somebody a child? Judgment is not childish at all, it's a natural feeling in people.@kmdrkul said:
@SeriouslyNow: Yawn. Whatever gets you off. For some I guess it's calling people immature on a video game forum. I've never been so thoroughly underwhelmed with someone's effort to be a jerk.I'm not being a jerk, I'm telling you, as an adult, that judging someone you're supposed to feel for that you don't condone what they may have before they met you is childish. It just is. Love isn't about judging people and if you think you can't love someone who has done things you have not or cannot then you will likely find yourself to be very bored, lonely or both in the longer term. Love is acceptance, not judgement.
If acceptance is difficult then the person who finds it difficult has to go on a journey of self discovery to find out why so it can be less difficult in the future. Making others pay for your shortcomings isn't love. Judgement is childish if it's framed in lacking experience.
Casual sex obviously would feel physically good, but only sex from a really great, longer-term relationship is what is really rewarding on a physical, mental, spiritual, etc. level, I think.
That said, do whateva' ya wantz.
@melcene said:
It all depends on the person. Some people are just fine with casual sex. Others are not. Personally, I'm not into it unless there's at least a good friendship there or something.
It's not casual anymore then is it...?
Good if you're both single, gets things out of your system.
Bad if one of you is taken.
REALLY bad if both of you are taken by other people.
Question your relationship if all you're doing is casual sex with your girlfriend.
Please Log In to post.
Log in to comment