Change and Goals

Most of us have bad habits, and all of us have unhealthy inclinations, be it cigarettes, coke, fast food, and what not.

Sometimes we aren't aware that they are unhealthy, or sometimes we are, but we don't care enough to change.

Why should we change? To be more of the same that we are now, just worse, without the comfort of that vice? What's the point?

Change I believe normally comes from pursuing a goal we haven't achieved. If we settle for what we have now, we won't change. why should we if we already have what we wanted? we can slogg through life then.

But does that makes us happy?

Or should we pursue a new higher goal? a goal that will make us work to achieve it, and change, and be better? Maybe we'll be happier then.

This is a thought piece. I'd like to know you opinions on it.

J

@jeust

I'm not talking about changing bad habits here, but I do have a few thoughts in general about satisfaction with the present and being ambitious.

I feel the best is to have a healthy balance between (A) being completely satisfied with the present (or at least being able to feel happy about something in your current daily life and (B) being ambitious, aiming and working towards a higher goal of passion that requires you to put in hard work polishing your skills. If one is too obsessively ambitious, their life's best moments may pass them by as all they're obsessed with progress. But if one sticks too closely to what's comfortable, they miss out on all the magic and never realize their potential. But also, they don't realize the value of what they have as it's all too easy. I think that's why travelling is held in such high regard. Not only do you see amazing things, but you're also reminded of everything you value back home.

In the end it comes to this: If one can't be happy in the present, or has always felt that "if I achieve this or get this in the future, then I'll be happy", will not be satisfied even with that achievement. Happiness very truly is a state of mind. If one knows how to enjoy a cup of tea (or anything equally simple of one's choice) as if it is the best experience of his/her life, then that person can also gain maximum fulfillment from their future achievement(s)

There is a book called Flow which talks mainly about how a (B) long term mission/quest related to your passion gives meaning/ happiness to your (A) normal everyday life. I also strongly believe that, because I've experienced it everyday (mostly) for the past 5 or so years as I've tried to chase my passions. Of course, there are shitty moments and real lows, but they make the good parts even better :)

Sorry for rambling (and not being able to get it across in lesser words) :P But it's nice to share views about these things

@armaan8014: I like your answer and I do agree on everything.

There was a spiritual master, that had the goal to be as bright as the sun, and he lived his whole life for it. And he is still highly regarded. He did really live well. :)

@jeust: Ah! What was his name?

Ok, so some background, im 26, i work full time for a small HVAC company, never went to college and live in a small town. I have heart problems, asthma, bad eyes, and ears, and i have a ton of bad habits that are likely horrible considering i already have issues. Work drains the life out of me at times, and though i enjoy my job its not my dream job, but i couldn't tell you what my dream is anyways so it doesn't matter really, its just a job and i'v had far worse.

My one good trait is i'v always been a hard worker, with all my problems and even though im a smaller guy i still always keep up and usually outwork everyone else, not because im stronger or better, but because i take pride in my work and try to do all i can even if no one else cares. Sure i could go to college and be ambitious and make more money, but honestly im happy with what i have even though its not much. People put too much value in material things (i know, thats cliched), and i do to at times, but at what point do you stop? I mean, if all you ever do is look forward to the next big thing whether is more money, a better job, or another purchase your not living, your running away from life. Basically what @armaan8014 said.

As far as habits go i feel like you know if you need to change something though i am of the opinion that life sucks without beer, whiskey, meat, french fries, and soda, but theirs nothing wrong with cutting them out if you can and thats your thing. I just always figured that because i dont overdo it for the most part and try to eat healthy here and there i'll be ok in the long run, you can go through life trying to control every detail and do everything right, but it dont mean you live longer, and it seems like a lot of work (and a lot more expensive) for what may make no difference anyways.

Not sure if im even on topic at this point, but hope this helps, i enjoy thinking about things like this.

Don't trust people who claim not to have even small excesses or vices.

His name is Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov.

The name Omraam was given by an indian saint. Do you know what it means?

@sanity: Thanks for you answer, your slice of life! It is a different opinion. You like what you do, and for it you strive forward, to excel at your work. And that is awesome, and really what one should aspire, in his work life, in my opinion.

Quite true! Almost always it is because they don't recognize them! ahah

Ah he looks like Gandalf! :)

Not sure what the name means, although it might be a combination of Om (it's a word that's chanted during meditation, sure you've heard of it) and Raam, a god in Hindu mythology.

I avoid excess of things like, say soda, and I find that I enjoy it even more. Cause when I do let myself do those things it has more value and feels rewarding :P I don't know if I directly benefit from it, but for some like me, monitoring stuff is fun. Other examples are that I don't listen to a song I'm in love with too much at once, and I don't play a game for more than 2-3 hours max even on a day when I'm completely free. And then I hardly ever replay any game. Sort of like to preserve and give value to my experiences. Guess that's pretty weird, but I really like it :)

@jeust: Here's a video from the book I mentioned (Flow)

In the first minute itself he pretty much says exactly what we discussed

He is a very well regarded spiritual master, and he is also funny and poignant in his lectures. I've seen a couple of them. :)

I've also seen the video, and loved it. It really is a great idea Flow.

@jeust:

Why should we change? To be more of the same that we are now, just worse, without the comfort of that vice? What's the point?

Change I believe normally comes from pursuing a goal we haven't achieved. If we settle for what we have now, we won't change. why should we if we already have what we wanted? we can slogg through life then.

But does that makes us happy?

Or should we pursue a new higher goal? a goal that will make us work to achieve it, and change, and be better? Maybe we'll be happier then.

Just saw another video which answers this point directly :P Basically saying that when you set a higher goal, happiness lies in its pursuit. Not necessarily in achieving it but in working towards it

I think Einstein something like: 'life is like a bicycle, to keep balance you must keep moving.'

Yeah,

Change is inevitable. Everything changes. There's nothing inherently wrong about Change. And I'd also say there's nothing inherently wrong about attempting to avoid change.

Feeling the need to change for the sake of meeting the expectation of others is a Sisyphean task whose rewards will never be permanent, but for some people periods of external validation and acceptance from others are worth it. Approval can be a nice feeling.

For others change will just be self-driven or self-resisted. I would tend to feel that these changes are the most individually rewarding and have the greatest effect on self and well being. It is worth knowing the difference between the two types.

@extintor: Quite true. I believe though, that normally we are, concerning the possibility of change for a better behaviour, and our will to do so, both self-driven and driven by the desire of acceptance by others, and also self-resistant. ahah