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#1 Edited by Raven10 (1794 posts) -

http://news.yahoo.com/allergic-meat-lone-star-tick-may-vegetarians-133418695--abc-news-health.html

A tick has been found that will make you allergic to meat when bitten. It's like Freddy Kruger except the nightmare is real and instead of sweet death you have to keep on living your terrible facsimile of a life. I can't imagine how I would live without the sweet taste of bacon cheeseburgers. It really is like my worst nightmare just it's not a movie it is real. Couldn't the end of the world have just been a giant meteor instead of this slow cruel torturous existence. I think I am never going to the east coast or bible belt again. I can live without ever going to our nation's lovely capital and I don't really need to see the statue of liberty. I will miss The World of Coca Cola though down in Atlanta. But such sacrifices must be made in order to preserve the beauty of life. I need to go make sure all my windows are bolted shut. I'll talk to you all later if I have the courage to remove my fingers from protective gloves.

#2 Posted by BigChickenDinner (766 posts) -

I wonder what happens if someone allergic to gluten gets bitten by one of these things?

#3 Posted by phrali (646 posts) -

that is some weird ass shit man

#4 Posted by jking47 (1211 posts) -

I would take the easy way out if that ever happened to me. Give me bacon, or give me death!

#5 Posted by clstirens (847 posts) -

I don't want to live on this continent anymore

#6 Posted by egg (1467 posts) -

How could this tick have only just been found? It's them ancient aliens I tell you, first they invented homosexuals to control the planets population, now they are trying to turn us into vegans.

Unless it's actually the preservatives in meat that the tick makes us allergic to. If there are more allergens than ever before in meat nowadays then maybe that's why the tick has only "just been found".

#7 Posted by PeezMachine (235 posts) -

On my big list of "Headlines I Probably Won't Ever Read," this one was pretty much at the top. Perhaps we will have a giraffe president someday...

#8 Posted by ShaggE (6459 posts) -

*sees headline*

"Oh, good, I'm nowhere near Texas..."

*reads article*

"East Coast!? WHO NAMED THESE THINGS?" *sobs in fear*

#9 Posted by TheCreamFilling (1225 posts) -

I'll have to cancel my trip to the meat dimension.

#10 Posted by TruthTellah (9125 posts) -

I feel like this is just building up to a radical vegan group spreading these around.

Channeling Amon from The Legend of Korra, they will "cleanse" people of their meat eating by getting them bit by the ticks.

Watch out, Republic City, an anti-meat revolution is brewing... and it threatens to take away your meat eating forever!

#11 Posted by RIDEBIRD (1232 posts) -

@BigChickenDinner: They get turned in to The Tick.

That's a really weird way to "get" an allergy.

#12 Edited by Zacagawea (1594 posts) -
Fuck that shit
#13 Posted by avidwriter (667 posts) -

I'd deal with whatever reaction I had to to continue to eat my meat.

#14 Posted by NekuCTR (1663 posts) -

I can just picture some crazy vegan brandishing a jar of these spiders, and poring them all over themselves.

#15 Posted by Slay3r1583 (613 posts) -

If I ever get bit by one of those things all I can say is "Goodbye cruel world".

#16 Posted by sungahymn (1012 posts) -

@Zacagawea said:

Fuck that shit

*fistbump*

#17 Posted by Alex_Murphy (1184 posts) -

"a tiny tick, whose bite might be spreading meat allergies"
"the tiny wound may trigger an allergic reaction" 
Well I don't have any allergies as of yet, so I'll take my chances.
 
"a sugar found in red meat, lamb and pork"
And you could still eat chicken, so it's not like you'd have to bee a total vegetarian.

#18 Posted by Brodehouse (9953 posts) -

First they made AIDS to try to stop us from having casual sex (and caused the 80s!) and now this!

#19 Posted by Make_Me_Mad (3102 posts) -

As someone who already has an allergic reaction to both Chicken and Milk, if one of these things bit me I would probably just put together a life ending last meal... or perhaps discovering whether the allergies are triggered by human meat as well. Hell of a supervillain origin.

#20 Posted by Jack268 (3387 posts) -

Holy shit 
 
If I was bitten by that I would kill myself by eating the biggest, tastiest motherfucking burger I could find.

#21 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -
@Make_Me_Mad

As someone who already has an allergic reaction to both Chicken and Milk, if one of these things bit me I would probably just put together a life ending last meal... or perhaps discovering whether the allergies are triggered by human meat as well. Hell of a supervillain origin.

Maybe it'd cure your allergy.
#22 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

@sungahymn said:

@Zacagawea said:

Fuck that shit

*fistbump*

#23 Posted by Pikawai (135 posts) -

A life without meat isn't worth living! :p

#24 Posted by ShockD (2401 posts) -
@Pikawai said:

A life without meat isn't worth living! :p

Yeah, wth, I think that vegetables can't give me enough energy (unless I eat non-stop) to sustain my existance.
#25 Posted by DeF (4894 posts) -

THE END IS NIGH!!!

#26 Posted by HarlechQuinn (449 posts) -

As a vegetarian I just wanna quote the great Nelson Munds...

...Sorry ;)

#27 Posted by RenMcKormack (1074 posts) -

SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER PLOY BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA!

#28 Posted by Sweep (8866 posts) -

I entered this thread expecting to hear about how you got a lady pregnant and, to be honest, this is fairly minor in comparison.

Moderator
#29 Posted by Demoskinos (14851 posts) -
@antikorper
@Pikawai said:

A life without meat isn't worth living! :p

Yeah, wth, I think that vegetables can't give me enough energy (unless I eat non-stop) to sustain my existance.
Should be the opposite really. Your body expends more energy digesting meat and dairy products than anything else.
#30 Posted by laserbolts (5322 posts) -

Give me meat or give me death.

#31 Posted by Cloudenvy (5891 posts) -

@laserbolts said:

Give me meat or give me death.

Hell yes.

#32 Posted by hidys (1029 posts) -

@RenMcKormack: I hear the bug was developed in a secret lab set up by Obama and funded by George Soros.

#33 Posted by BirdkeeperDan (400 posts) -

I hate bugs and this just adds a whole new dimension to that.

#34 Posted by NegativeCero (3003 posts) -

Fuck that noise. I'll keep eating meat and make it the mosy agonizing/delicious thing.

#35 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

I'd be fine with it. The only meat I ever eat is hot dogs, and even then, I don't eat them that often.

#36 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@TruthTellah said:

I feel like this is just building up to a radical vegan group spreading these around.

Channeling Amon from The Legend of Korra, they will "cleanse" people of their meat eating by getting them bit by the ticks.

Watch out, Republic City, an anti-meat revolution is brewing... and it threatens to take away your meat eating forever!

I would've been more impressed had you used this:

#37 Posted by Arker101 (1474 posts) -

Wait a second, it makes you permanently allergic to meats? It doesn't wear off after a while or something? I could never eat meat again? If that's true, I'd get my self a couple great movies, a couple homemade triple bacon cheese burgers, and die.

#38 Posted by DarkShaper (1337 posts) -

Thanks OBAMA...

#39 Edited by SmilingPig (1337 posts) -

If this is for real we, has a specie, have finally found an enemy that we must wipe out at all cost.

Think about it, pro animal rights nuts will breed the tick and unleash it against the unsuspecting populations... It is a vegan bioweapon.

#40 Posted by Sackmanjones (4708 posts) -

The end has begun

#41 Posted by frankfartmouth (1018 posts) -

The PETA scientists have finally realized their diabolical plan! Bastards!!

#42 Posted by Wallzii (173 posts) -

This isn't really news. There have been published stoies about this exact issue over two years ago, involving the same researcher. The sugar that causes this reaction is only found in mammalian meat, aside from humans and certain monkeys and apes. The fact that poultry and game birds do not have this sugar in their flesh means there is another huge source of non-mammalian meat out there to eat; this is hardly turning people vegetarian.

Great attempt at providing accurate headlines and informative articles for your readers Yahoo, or are you that desperate for hits? Must be a really slow news day. Gotta love the state of journalism these days sometimes.

#43 Posted by Stonyman65 (2712 posts) -

@jking47 said:

I would take the easy way out if that ever happened to me. Give me bacon, or give me death!

This, Steak too.

#44 Posted by 49th (2758 posts) -

Don't let PETA get that poison. They'll infect the water supplies!

#45 Posted by ShockD (2401 posts) -
@Demoskinos said:
@antikorper
@Pikawai said:

A life without meat isn't worth living! :p

Yeah, wth, I think that vegetables can't give me enough energy (unless I eat non-stop) to sustain my existance.
Should be the opposite really. Your body expends more energy digesting meat and dairy products than anything else.
Yeah, I bet I lose energy by eating meat...
#46 Posted by myketuna (1703 posts) -

All you really have to do is drive to a hospital with your burger of choice in hand. And start eating. A small price to pay to enjoy meat, I think. Once you start feeling symptoms, just open the door and let yourself collapse out. Someone should get to you shortly.

#47 Posted by CaLe (3988 posts) -

I was once bitten on the belly button by a tic. They are seriously hard to remove.

#48 Posted by Vodun (2370 posts) -

Wtf does "meat" mean anyway? Beef? Red meat? Fowl? Fish? This is extremely fuzzy science.

#49 Posted by Wallzii (173 posts) -

@antikorper said:

@Demoskinos said:
@antikorper
@Pikawai said:

A life without meat isn't worth living! :p

Yeah, wth, I think that vegetables can't give me enough energy (unless I eat non-stop) to sustain my existance.
Should be the opposite really. Your body expends more energy digesting meat and dairy products than anything else.
Yeah, I bet I lose energy by eating meat...

He didn't say you'd lose energy. He said it requires more energy to digest meat than vegetables, making it less efficient, therefore the opposite of what you had initially said.

It is very difficult for your body to extract the nutrients from meat compared to vegetables, especially once most of those nutrients are destroyed through the cooking process. A properly balanced raw vegan diet will give you more and higher quality nutrients than the shit most people are putting into their bodies.

For the record, I love meat, but humans eat way too much of it and it is becoming a health risk. Meat portion sizes are about three times what they should be on the average dinner plate. There should be more whole grains and vegetables, for sure.

#50 Posted by Undeadpool (4945 posts) -

There are plenty of downsides, but this is one of those times I am happy to live in an urban environment along the West Coast. Cause I looooves my meats.