Describe An Embarrassing Example of Trying To Pick Up Someone

@SSValis said:

@Undeadpool said:

@SSValis said:

@LooseChange said:

@Undeadpool said:

I once got called a tyrant by a woman after I pointed out that I enjoyed watching people dance from a balcony in a club.

Heh. That made me chuckle.

I started small talk with this girl at a bar then when I proceeded to ask for her number she told me my friend was more cute. Ouch. =/

I laughed it off and had fun with my friends and talked to other girls.

damn that's cold

Yeeeeeouch!

I love how he brushed it off though. That's about the only thing you can do in that situation.

True! That's the correct way to handle it. Shake it off and try again.

"Are you an electrician?"

My favourite way of trying to pick up girls started with that. It never worked. It was rather embarrassing.

lol, "trying"

I once went up to a girl, had a nice conversation with her, and asked her if she had a boyfriend. She said yes and started kind of giggling at me. After a Twix Pause kind of moment, I responded "Well that's a shame. You would've been perfect for my brother," turning a potential tragedy into awesome. And this counts because I was embarrassed for, like, 10 seconds.

I kinda put my friend up to it, but we would go to this restaurant every weekend to chill out and have a laugh or two. There was this waitress that he was really smitten over. He asked me what he should do and I, as a man who wanted to see something funny, told him to say, "Hey, there's something wrong on this check... It doesn't have your number on it." I really didn't think he would do it because it was so corny, but he did, and got shot down. I just looked at him and said, "Hey man, I thought you had her.".

I was in my first year of university and my friend's older brother invited us to a house party. My friend bailed, so I was stuck there alone with a bunch of people I didn't know, many of which were older than me. So I ended up drinking a lot of vodka and OJ really, really fast. Needless to say I was wasted. Apparently, and I have only the vaguest memories of this, I offered a girl a $3 off a new release rental at Blockbuster coupon if she would go out with me.

Not my finest hour...

@HorseFactory said:

One time I punched this gay nerd in the face and all the gamer gurls XD were like, oh schitt mang, and started grinding all up on my D.

Then I high fived a bunch of dudes wearing TapOut gear, and then the ending credits started rolling.

But seriously, I had a date with this girl once who was the ultimate pitchfork bohemian queen and nothing was cool enough for her. Let's just say I felt burned by letting her garner my interest in the first place and spend actual money on drinks for her.

Instead of Monopoly money?

One time I was at a club grinding up on this chick and shit's all smooth when the DJ puts on Can't Touch This, which instincitvely makes me make a mad dash for one of my buddies who came out to the dance floor to do the Hammer dance with me. After the song when I went back to hook up with the chick she was offended that I'd ditched her and didn't want anything more to do with me. When I came back to our table to freshen up on a drink, my buddy sang "Shot Down in Flames" by AC/DC.

I pretty much end up being friend zoned before actually getting anywhere usually, I own that place. I think I might be too nice or something, or maybe I am just a coward, it is probably the latter now that I think about it.

One time, i said to the hottest girl in my class: "If you were an hamburger, you would be a CHEESE PRINCESS!", and i thought that was so ridiculous, that i've started to roll on the floor laughing, and the girl was staring at me like i was a rapist or something. 
Also, not so long ago, when i was out on a date, i was extremely nervous, so i kept talking about Saints Row to a girl that didn't give a shit about games, so there i was, saying shit like: "It's cool to have a videogame where you can use a purlpe dong to murder people" and trying to explain WHY IT WAS COOL. I was getting more and more nervous, and all of a sudden, the girl kisses me and says: "Jesus Fucking Christ, that's the only way to make you shut up.".

I'm pretty nice guy and I don't talk much, i mostly like hearing others talk but whenever someone talks about things even remotly connected to economics... I can't help myself and i jump in and insult.... Happened the other day... some girl said something like(there wasn't a video game discussion it was random how the companies she chose were video game related) "Activision did a hostile takeover of Blizzard..." to which i responded "don't be retarded, there's no such thing as aggresive takeover when its not a public company, not to mention all of the blizzard management is still there...", probably got hated within the next 10 seconds.

Even if I wasn't trying to pick her up, simply speaking to a girl usually results in rejection and humiliation. My favorite was when this girl simply looked at m and then looked away after I had spoken to her. I spoke again, but got the same response. This was on a train platform. When the train arrived, I sat down, and she sat across from me with this kind of pissed look on her face. I took out my notes, and studied them. It was the first week of school, so I spent 40 minutes staring at about a half a page of notes. When I got home, I cried.

i once INSISTED to buy a girl a drink in a club... to which she replied she was a recovering alcoholic (i iknow this is exactly like a scene out of crazy stupid love but shit happens)

"Baby, if you were a booger I'd pick you first." That's all I will say.

Hey babe. What's the drop-rate on those pants?

*gets slapped in the face*

I'm taking those embarassing moments with me to the grave but I'll share this little gem here: I was in a really hot girl's house and needed to take a shit real bad but as you can imagine there was no toilet paper there. Unfortunately I only realised this after letting go of the past. I had to use a towel and I had to steal the towel along with whatever was in the small garbage bin by the toilet bowl. I literally ran out of her house with a bag full of shit stained towel. I avoided her for the longest time after that.

@dudeglove said:

@JasonR86 said:

So we spent a few weeks trying to muster as much game as we possibly could.

I seriously hope you were, like, joking or something when you wrote that.

I was, like, joking when I said that. I was trying to show how my high school brain worked. I was being sarcastic.

I don't typically pick up girls. Most of the time it's a situation that happens naturally. I'm out with friends and I meet a friend of a friend, or someone I get into a conversation at a bar with, etc. I feel creepy walking up to a girl I've never met in my life and making a move. Just not my personality.

There are probably a lot of neck beards in this thread so I'm going to help you all out since I pulled myself up by my own boot straps into being normal. This won't help you win any, but it'll keep them from running away. Women are just as shallow as you are. Would you date you? Do what you have to do to look good, whether it's lose weight, clean up, workout, etc. Don't be a nerd around them unless you know they're cool with it. Be confident. Be a good leader. Be good at stuff. That's why women "like jerks." They don't like jerks, they just happen to like the qualities that follow such as those last three. This last one is hard to explain but don't be "weird". Figure out what weird is and don't be it. That includes things like calling them too much, finding out where they're going to be and happening to already be there, liking every one of their facebook statuses. Basically, the key to getting girls is complaining to them about how George Lucas ruined Star Wars.

"are you from memphis, cuz you're the only ten-i-see." i once said that when i was shit-faced drunk at one of my favorite watering holes in tempe, arizona. the lady looked at me, smiled, laughed her ass off, and walked away. i continued drinking like nothing happened.

@fishmicmuffin: :D I'm glad you think so. I encourage all men to use it to get out of similar situations.