I told my mom, girlfriend, and sister. They all know how much this site means to me so I thought I would share it with them because I was super upset (I only shed a few tears when I was talking to my mom which was right after I heard). My father passed when I was 6 years old. I know loss and still this has deeply resonated with me. It is well-known by this point that a bunch of people who never met Ryan feel like they have lost a friend. I feel the same. Me @orange_tory and @shimmy all attended the same school and could not believe it. As soon as Rorie gives us information on how to donate to Ryan's wife I am going to be right there. This makes me so angry that life can be so arbitrary in choosing who it takes away from the rest of us. Ryan gave me a lifetime of joy and for that I will always remember him.
I talked to my mom over the phone. She's been around my apartment enough to know the voices of those dudes who talk about video games, so she understood on some level why I was utterly devastated yesterday. Everyone else who has responded to me tweeting about it has just been a nice word.
It's hard to fathom how close he was to us isn't it? I remember Dio dying a while back and I was bummed about that, I love his music. But it was nothing like this. Right after I heard, I said that it felt like someone in my family had died. I just imagine my Dad reading that and shaking his head, I can't see him understanding this at all.
I told my brother as soon as I found out. He never followed the site like I did but we did enjoy talking about some of the antics and the great quicklooks of stuff we were looking forward to or just found funny. But I haven't told anyone how I feel or how much it sucks to have to go home, or go to work, or open this site and know he is gone and I will never get anything new from him again. It fucking sucks.
I couldn't help but tell my parents, because they were the only ones there at the time whilst I was shaking and completely upset. I had no one else to turn to, but I soon told my boyfriend after, as he hadn't been on the internet all day... he was devastated.
I keep looking at the front page, hoping that there will be something. Anything. But I guess that's what we're all waiting for.
I tell my brother about some of the funny stuff that happens at Giant Bomb, so he knows the guys' names and such. I was able to talk to him a little bit about it. He studies AI and tech singularity, so he was intrigued by the social grieving process. The passing of a "social node" affects many more people than just the people they have met throughout their life, it extends into their entire fan base and even people that are a part of the industry but didn't specifically follow this site. Jeff said it during the podcast, this social grieving will definitely be studied in the future.
I told my mum because for years now i've told her about the awesome things the crew gets up to, she doesn't like video games, or internet videos... any of it, but i think she knows how much the crew mean to me, my friends only passively know the site through me forcing history lessons at them so they apologized more to me rather than feeling any loss.
I hadn't cried until now but i just listened to the bombcast so i'm well away, i need a shower.
A friend of mine told me to take a look at the site when I was at work. After the initial shock of "Holly fuck!" we talked about it a little. I told my girlfriend after that and I was actually really surprised at how upset she got, yelling "No!" when I broke the news. She sometimes watches live streams with me, and while she didn't always appreciate his sense of humor, she was more emotional than even I to hear about his tragic passing, especially after just getting married.
I also told my brother, but he didn't really know Ryan, and just gave a kind "That sucks." And it does, it fucking sucks.
I told my wife because even though she doesn't really visit the site on her own, she always liked Ryan when I was watching a video or listening to the Bombcast and it caught her attention. She spent the rest of Monday looking at Rorie's thread and looking at staff twitter accounts. She found thanksryan.com and a few other tribute blog entries out there.
I haven't talked to anyone else about it except for telling my boss a friend of mine passed away last week to explain my lack of attention at work this week.
I told my friend, who I got into the Bombcast. He understands, and posted about it on Twitter.
I tried to tell my girlfriend, but she doesn't understand video games at all. My friend and I spoke about it a bit briefly last night, and summed it up nicely - "Ryan was one of the few that gave respect to the game hobby, and tries to make people understand it."
I told my mom when she saw me watching the Harmonix tribute. I explained how after spending so many hours listening and watching the guys at Giant Bomb, Ryan had come to mean something to me even if he didn't know who I was. I explained how the site and specifically the podcast is regarded by many to be the best in video games. She understood completely.