20 (21 in a week), male, NY
I was raised a roman catholic, went to church every Sunday and attended CCD for the bulk of my youth (k-8th grade). Was baptized, had communion, and confirmation. I believed in god for a long time, but reality hit me at a young age and my faith eventually waned.
I used to pray to God to help me through my problems and to show me his way, but nothing ever came of it. There's only so much faith you can muster up from within when every single outside force is collectively shitting on you. I wont get into a lot of detail, but I've had to deal with death, illness (not me, but my family), and other horrible things from a very young age, which probably contributed to my lack of faith.
I honestly wish I could believe in a higher power, one that is looking out for me and guiding me on a righteous path, but I can't. The world is too gray for that to be the case. If there was a higher power, I'm almost certain it is apathetic of us. They certainly don't give a shit whether we believe or not.
I do believe that there must be something more to our creation than the big bang, it's obvious that there is. If I thought that all of this came from nothing and happened by chance alone, I don't think I could pick myself up in the morning. There has to be something more, but I don't think we'll ever find the answer, unless whatever created us wants us to know. So, for me, I think it's pointless to look for these answers. All I can focus on is that I'm alive right now, and I will eventually die (as we all will). The thought of death occasionally frightens me (since I don't know what comes after), but I'm young and have yet to fully live my life. If I can live a long life with no regrets, I think I could come to terms with dying and there being nothing afterwards. I'm not there yet, but hopefully I can attain that.
Side note: the concept of heaven and hell is absolutely ridiculous to me. Just another worldview filtered through a black and white lens (good and evil). And if Satan was cast out from heaven into hell by God, why would he hate us and put us through eternal torture? Wouldn't he be the one entity in existence that would love people who sin? Wouldn't hell be heaven for evil? It makes no sense to me. And the fact that you have to believe in God to get into heaven is even dumber. How are we supposed to believe when you gave us free will? Maybe hint to us that you are there from time to time and I'll believe. Having to put all of my faith into a book written thousands of years ago by a bunch of people I'll never know, talk to, understand, and were sometimes ignorant asshats is not good enough for me. Maybe show us you're there every 100 years and more people will believe.
To end my rant, I think religion is fine for some people and not so much for others. For both sides, I say this: regardless of what you believe in, the outcome of your existence on earth and in this universe is wholly up to you and no one else. You own your life. You can choose to live it however you wish, or for whomever you wish (god or otherwise). That means the choices you make fall on you and you alone. But it's also important that we all can coexist with each other. So don't be a selfish asshole and grow some empathy. Everything will be fine if we can reach a mutual understanding.
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