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Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

Yup, this is totally another girl advice thread, or at least related to it, but bear with me for a moment.

I've been attracted to this girl for a while and have yet to ask her out. I'm about 60lbs overweight, haven't been able to get a form of job outside of household chores yet, and while I'm old enough to get a license, I've never even touched a steering wheel.

I'm not naive enough to believe I'm in love with this girl, but I do believe she deserves better then what I'm able to currently offer, so I decided to try and get my act together before I go for it. What do you guys suggest would be the best course of action to start me on my road to bettering myself? Do you have any tips on weight loss, driving, or how to land a job? Are there any sites with information on working out or dieting that would help me?

The way I see it, if she doesn't say yes I'll still have gotten something out of it.

I know someone would do it, so I stole the glory for myself.
#1 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

Yup, this is totally another girl advice thread, or at least related to it, but bear with me for a moment.

I've been attracted to this girl for a while and have yet to ask her out. I'm about 60lbs overweight, haven't been able to get a form of job outside of household chores yet, and while I'm old enough to get a license, I've never even touched a steering wheel.

I'm not naive enough to believe I'm in love with this girl, but I do believe she deserves better then what I'm able to currently offer, so I decided to try and get my act together before I go for it. What do you guys suggest would be the best course of action to start me on my road to bettering myself? Do you have any tips on weight loss, driving, or how to land a job? Are there any sites with information on working out or dieting that would help me?

The way I see it, if she doesn't say yes I'll still have gotten something out of it.

I know someone would do it, so I stole the glory for myself.
#2 Posted by Dany (7887 posts) -

Eat less food but spread it out throughout the day. Decrease junk food amount, limit soda amount. Decrease it slowly. Start walking more and jogging.

Do you have a permit? Go the DMV and get a permit and be sure you can ride with someone. The majority of the test to get a drivers permit is pretty common knowledge stuff but pick up a book, its free, if you want.

What do you want to do in your life? College, high school?

#3 Posted by matthias2437 (985 posts) -

All I did when I lost 65 lbs was stop drinking pop, replace breakfast with a protein shake, and walk 2 miles a day. Lost all that weight in 6 months doing that.

#4 Posted by Hot_Karl (3309 posts) -

Wait, a minute,

Some Advice is Needed ?

#5 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

@Dany: I don't really have a collage fund, but my mother will be helping me pay and my dad is leaving me some land as my inheritance so I could just sell that. Or I could move to Scandinavia where I'm told education is free.

I'm interested in science, history and medicine, though I'd have to improve my math skills to get into most scientific fields.

#6 Posted by Selftest (72 posts) -

You can never change for someone else, you have to do it for yourself. You're young. Do the things that will let you grow up a little, and then worry about the girl.

#7 Posted by Claude (16255 posts) -

Some people think doing this will get you laid. What do I know?
 
  

#8 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

@Selftest said:

You can never change for someone else, you have to do it for yourself. You're young. Do the things that will let you grow up a little, and then worry about the girl.

Ah, but here's the thing, I'm not changing myself in a way that goes against my personality, I'm just using this as an incentive to finally get around to those things I've had to do for a while, but never got around to.

#9 Posted by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -

How come everytime one of these threads come up it starts with a person writing all these things they're willing to do for some girl and then it goes on to ask "what should I do?" 
How about  you people start telling the girls how you feel about them instead of people on forums?  

#10 Posted by MooseyMcMan (10831 posts) -

It's no fun if you post the advice line picture before someone else can.

Moderator Online
#11 Posted by SSully (4147 posts) -

Driving is easy a shit. Ask one of your parents, friends, or family members who has a car to take you to a open parking lot or cemetary. Then just practice, it is really easy. After doing that go to your local DMV(or call ahead) and find out what it will take for you to get your license.

For a job start asking family and friends if they know of any openings at their current job. Knowing people is one of the best ways to get a job sadly. If they don't then just start applying to everywhere and anywhere. Getting your first job is the hardest for most people, once you can do that the rest usually come a bit easier since you have some experience. Make sure when you go to interviews that you have a pen, you look decent, and you are polite. There are other threads here and on other websites that will give you better interview advice, but you can look into that later.

I never had to loose weight, so I cant help there. Good luck duder.

#12 Posted by the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG (4308 posts) -

Oh wait this guy's advice helps: 
  

#13 Posted by Enigma777 (6069 posts) -
  1. Stop eating.
  2. Bitches don't care about you driving if you flash them your bus pass. You'll be the illest cat on the bus stop.
  3. Micky D is always hiring.

There, I solved all your problems.

#14 Posted by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -
@the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG said:
Oh wait this guy's advice helps: 
  
DeStorm is always fun to listen to.  
He's a fun dude. 
#15 Posted by KillyDarko (1888 posts) -
@ZeForgotten said:
How come everytime one of these threads come up it starts with a person writing all these things they're willing to do for some girl and then it goes on to ask "what should I do?" How about  you people start telling the girls how you feel about them instead of people on forums?  
Best advice you'll ever find.
#16 Posted by dopplerganger (80 posts) -

@the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG said:

Oh wait this guy's advice helps:

You had me at fucking pool party.

#17 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@Aronman789 said:

or how to land a job?

Goddamn it. I shit you not; I read this as "how to get a hand job". It's not an obvious joke; it's dyslexia. (Also, has come in, yet?)

#18 Edited by pyromagnestir (4283 posts) -

@the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG said:

Oh wait this guy's advice helps:

Between this and the lantern run the internet has been good to me tonight.

edit: He's a genius, I'm nodding non stop.

#19 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

You should have been getting your shit together before you ever laid eyes on this girl.

#20 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

@BraveToaster said:

You should have been getting your shit together before you ever laid eyes on this girl.

I've tried before, but I was just too damn content to really put the needed effort in. I have a sort of "Who really cares?" attitude, so I didn't really have the necessary incentive to do it until I met this girl.

#21 Edited by believer258 (11775 posts) -
Do you Duders have any advice?

Yep. Ask her now. If she says "no", then there are approximately three and a half billion other fish in the sea. If she says yes, then great!

As far as your weight, driving skills, and job go, if you wait to ask her out until you've got all of those done then you'll be too late, or you've lost interest, or she's lost interest, or something's gone wrong. Yeah, it might go your way but, chances are, it probably won't.

#22 Posted by Deranged (1837 posts) -

Stop eating sugar/junk food and get off the internet.

#23 Posted by JasonR86 (9651 posts) -

@Aronman789:

If you want to lose weight do it for yourself and not because of this girl. The reason being, if you do end up dating her, the chances aren't great that you two will be together forever. So if she is the reason to lose weight what will be the incentive when she's gone? Lose weight for your own health and well-being and not for someone else. For how to lose weight, start small and slowly add to what you're trying to do. Eat smaller portions and healthier foods. Drink more water and less calorie-filled drinks. Increase your physical activity in any way no matter how small. Keep in mind any change from where you are now will have some effect and you can always add more exercise and eat healthier and less food as you go.

As for the girl, I get the impression you're only thinking about what you bring and what your responsibilities are for this relationship. She has a role to play as well. Further, you can only have so much of an effect on what she thinks of you, whether she's ready to date, what she wants out of a boyfriend, etc. Just do the best with what you have and if she says yes or now that's that. Just keep in mind that if you go into this relationship thinking you down 1-0 in the relationship you're likely to not have a relationship at all. AND, don't put here on a pedestal because the more freaked out you are about this relationship the harder it will be to be confident and act accordingly.

#24 Edited by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

@Aronman789 said:

@BraveToaster said:

You should have been getting your shit together before you ever laid eyes on this girl.

I've tried before, but I was just too damn content to really put the needed effort in. I have a sort of "Who really cares?" attitude, so I didn't really have the necessary incentive to do it until I met this girl.

Your unwillingness to progress with little to no incentive will certainly attract the ladies.

#25 Posted by the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG (4308 posts) -
@ZeForgotten said:
@the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG said:
Oh wait this guy's advice helps: 
  
DeStorm is always fun to listen to.  He's a fun dude. 
This kinda sounds snobby and I apologize in advance but I remember when he sent me a spam message when he had 20000 subs....  Im glad I subscribed to him just because of that message.  I really want to meet him one day.  This video really helps out a lot
#26 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

@BraveToaster said:

@Aronman789 said:

@BraveToaster said:

You should have been getting your shit together before you ever laid eyes on this girl.

I've tried before, but I was just too damn content to really put the needed effort in. I have a sort of "Who really cares?" attitude, so I didn't really have the necessary incentive to do it until I met this girl.

Your unwillingness to progress with little to no incentive will certainly attract the ladies.

Yeah, that's another thing I have to work on.

#27 Posted by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -
@the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG said:
@ZeForgotten said:
@the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG said:
Oh wait this guy's advice helps: 
  
DeStorm is always fun to listen to.  He's a fun dude. 
This kinda sounds snobby and I apologize in advance but I remember when he sent me a spam message when he had 20000 subs....  Im glad I subscribed to him just because of that message.  I really want to meet him one day.  This video really helps out a lot
I will join your Kinda Snobby sounding club and say that you don't need to apologize. 
#28 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@believer258 said:

Yep. Ask her now. If she says "no", then there are approximately three and a half billion other fish in the sea.

Unfortunately, a lot of these fish are lesbians, so you're more fucked than you could possibly imagine.

#29 Edited by believer258 (11775 posts) -

@Video_Game_King said:

@believer258 said:

Yep. Ask her now. If she says "no", then there are approximately three and a half billion other fish in the sea.

Unfortunately, a lot of these fish are lesbians, so you're more fucked than you could possibly imagine.

Well, if porn has taught me anything, it's that lesbian fish will always welcome a dudefish, so "fucked" might be quite an apt word.

I am joking, of course. Real response: Of course lesbian fish are cut out. So are fish that don't speak the same language as the OP. I thought that would be a given.
#30 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@believer258:

Fish speak language? I thought the only animals that spoke language were cats.

#31 Posted by the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG (4308 posts) -
@ZeForgotten said:
@the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG said:
@ZeForgotten said:
@the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG said:
Oh wait this guy's advice helps: 
  
DeStorm is always fun to listen to.  He's a fun dude. 
This kinda sounds snobby and I apologize in advance but I remember when he sent me a spam message when he had 20000 subs....  Im glad I subscribed to him just because of that message.  I really want to meet him one day.  This video really helps out a lot
I will join your Kinda Snobby sounding club and say that you don't need to apologize. 
Yay!  I miss the challenges and the two videos a week that he uploaded but Im glad hes getting a lot of exposure now
#32 Posted by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -
@believer258 said:

@Video_Game_King said:

@believer258 said:

Yep. Ask her now. If she says "no", then there are approximately three and a half billion other fish in the sea.

Unfortunately, a lot of these fish are lesbians, so you're more fucked than you could possibly imagine.

Well, if porn has taught me anything, it's that lesbian fish will always welcome a dudefish, so "fucked" might be quite an apt word.

What, language is a problem too?! 
'cancels that order for the Russian Mailorder Bride' 
Bye Svetlana
#33 Posted by believer258 (11775 posts) -

@Video_Game_King said:

@believer258:

Fish speak language? I thought the only animals that spoke language were cats.

Didn't you know? Finding Nemo was a true story.

@ZeForgotten said:

@believer258 said:

@Video_Game_King said:

@believer258 said:

Yep. Ask her now. If she says "no", then there are approximately three and a half billion other fish in the sea.

Unfortunately, a lot of these fish are lesbians, so you're more fucked than you could possibly imagine.

Well, if porn has taught me anything, it's that lesbian fish will always welcome a dudefish, so "fucked" might be quite an apt word.

I am joking, of course. Real response: Of course lesbian fish are cut out. So are fish that don't speak the same language as the OP. I thought that would be a given.
What, language is a problem too?! 'cancels that order for the Russian Mailorder Bride' Bye Svetlana

Naw, man, Russian mailorder brides cum with instructions, you don't need to speak their language.

#34 Posted by sashimi_biscut (99 posts) -

Well first of all, don't do all this stuff for her do it for you. If you do all this for her and she turns you down, you are just going to be bitter and maybe even go back to the way you were. You need to love yourself before you can love someone else.

As for losing weight, it defends on your current activity level and diet. If you are 60lb overweight you might be dependent of food for comfort. Cut back on junk food and sugary things, but don't cut them out completely at first. This will just lead to a binge and with binges come guilt. You can do exercise by walking long distances a day, but a lot of people get good results from the "couch to 5k" program. it is really quite easy if you have a treadmill.

For a job i suggest asking your parents and relatives for help finding one. FInding a job is hard these days and maybe they can help you out with some sort of connection.

-A woman.

#35 Posted by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -

Actually now that I think about it, why are so many guys(or girls, I guess) willing to just go "I WANNA CHANGE WHO I AM FOR THIS PERSON!" ? 
What happens when you change almost everything about yourself for this one girl/guy. You devote a lot of time for someone you care about and you might end up getting a "Well, you look good but your personality still fucking blows. So no, hahahaha, of course I don't wanna go out with you. Thanks for tha laugh though" .. what happens then? 

#36 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

@ZeForgotten said:

Actually now that I think about it, why are so many guys(or girls, I guess) willing to just go "I WANNA CHANGE WHO I AM FOR THIS PERSON!" ? What happens when you change almost everything about yourself for this one girl/guy. You devote a lot of time for someone you care about and you might end up getting a "Well, you look good but your personality still fucking blows. So no, hahahaha, of course I don't wanna go out with you. Thanks for tha laugh though" .. what happens then?

Like I said before, I do want to do right by this girl, but I'm also using the whole thing as an incentive to get myself to do stuff I've been meaning to do for a while anyway, I would never change myself if it didn't benefit me too. I know who and what I am just fine, which is my problem. I was too content to really care before she came along.

#37 Posted by BelligerentEngine (344 posts) -

@ZeForgotten said:

Actually now that I think about it, why are so many guys(or girls, I guess) willing to just go "I WANNA CHANGE WHO I AM FOR THIS PERSON!" ? What happens when you change almost everything about yourself for this one girl/guy. You devote a lot of time for someone you care about and you might end up getting a "Well, you look good but your personality still fucking blows. So no, hahahaha, of course I don't wanna go out with you. Thanks for tha laugh though" .. what happens then?

You live in an imaginary fantasy world. At minimum, "and I stress at minimum" physical attraction will get you in the door.

#38 Posted by 49th (2722 posts) -

Stop talking about doing thing and start doing things.

Online
#39 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

@49th said:

Stop talking about doing thing and start doing things.

Already did. Went for a good workout before I even posted the topic.

#40 Posted by laserbolts (5317 posts) -

It's pretty bad that you need something like this to give you any sort of drive to get a job or lose some weight but if I were you i'd go for a job first.

#41 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

@Aronman789 said:

Yup, this is totally another girl advice thread, or at least related to it, but bear with me for a moment.

I've been attracted to this girl for a while and have yet to ask her out. I'm about 60lbs overweight, haven't been able to get a form of job outside of household chores yet, and while I'm old enough to get a license, I've never even touched a steering wheel.

I'm not naive enough to believe I'm in love with this girl, but I do believe she deserves better then what I'm able to currently offer, so I decided to try and get my act together before I go for it. What do you guys suggest would be the best course of action to start me on my road to bettering myself? Do you have any tips on weight loss, driving, or how to land a job? Are there any sites with information on working out or dieting that would help me?

The way I see it, if she doesn't say yes I'll still have gotten something out of it.

I know someone would do it, so I stole the glory for myself.

You clearly already know what it is that you need to do to improve yourself. You'll either do it or you won't. Stop talking about it and start now.

#42 Posted by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -
@Aronman789 said:

@ZeForgotten said:

Actually now that I think about it, why are so many guys(or girls, I guess) willing to just go "I WANNA CHANGE WHO I AM FOR THIS PERSON!" ? What happens when you change almost everything about yourself for this one girl/guy. You devote a lot of time for someone you care about and you might end up getting a "Well, you look good but your personality still fucking blows. So no, hahahaha, of course I don't wanna go out with you. Thanks for tha laugh though" .. what happens then?

Like I said before, I do want to do right by this girl, but I'm also using the whole thing as an incentive to get myself to do stuff I've been meaning to do for a while anyway, I would never change myself if it didn't benefit me too. I know who and what I am just fine, which is my problem. I was too content to really care before she came along.

As long as it's not only for her but also to give yourself a kick in the ass then that's good. 
I was thinking more about the people who just do it for the girl (or guy).  But hey, best of luck with your mission, dude!  
 
@BelligerentEngine: Meh, I guess my standards are different when it comes to that sort of thing. 
You would never hear me go "You are a total idiot and I hate your guts but sure let's try it because you're kinda hot", you know? :P
#43 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

@McGhee: Like I just told 49th, I already started before I even made the post, I'm just asking for some advice and tips on it.

#44 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

@Aronman789 said:

@McGhee: Like I just told 49th, I already started before I even made the post, I'm just asking for some advice and tips on it.

Alright, alright. I weighed 250 lbs when I was in high school. After finally getting disgusted and hating myself and being fed up I lost 70 lbs over the course of a year. Losing weight is simple. It really comes down to what is more important: that cheeseburger right now or the potential benefits of being more healthy down the road. For most people the immediate pleasure is too much to overcome. It is important to always keep your goal in mind. Become obsessed with your goal. I lost weight because of my own self-loathing. Use whatever you need to. Twelve years later I'm at another point where I want to lose about 20 lbs. It is difficult because I started using food as a stress reliever again.

But think about this. A single can of coke has 150 calories. That has been one of my weaknesses. I love that shit. I could drink three or four a day. That's 450 - 600 calories. Say you're eating 2200 calories a day. Cut out 600 and you've just dropped to 1600 calories. If one is even moderately active they would begin losing weight just from dropping soft drinks.

Cut out deep fried shit and tons of sugar, including soft drinks, and it's easy to lose weight. I'm doing it right now, myself.

As far as driving goes, you must have someone that could teach you. Just ask them.

#45 Edited by BelligerentEngine (344 posts) -

@ZeForgotten said:

@Aronman789 said:

@ZeForgotten said:

Actually now that I think about it, why are so many guys(or girls, I guess) willing to just go "I WANNA CHANGE WHO I AM FOR THIS PERSON!" ? What happens when you change almost everything about yourself for this one girl/guy. You devote a lot of time for someone you care about and you might end up getting a "Well, you look good but your personality still fucking blows. So no, hahahaha, of course I don't wanna go out with you. Thanks for tha laugh though" .. what happens then?

Like I said before, I do want to do right by this girl, but I'm also using the whole thing as an incentive to get myself to do stuff I've been meaning to do for a while anyway, I would never change myself if it didn't benefit me too. I know who and what I am just fine, which is my problem. I was too content to really care before she came along.

As long as it's not only for her but also to give yourself a kick in the ass then that's good.
I was thinking more about the people who just do it for the girl (or guy). But hey, best of luck with your mission, dude!

@BelligerentEngine: Meh, I guess my standards are different when it comes to that sort of thing. You would never hear me go "You are a total idiot and I hate your guts but sure let's try it because you're kinda hot", you know? :P

It's not a comparison between myself and you, it's you not acknowledging what is inherit in nature. There is no mathematical formula that say improved muscle tone and personal hygiene are inversely proportional to level of intellect or quality of personality. There are innate genetic functions at play that cause people to value certain physical characteristics because they suggest strong genes, some level of personal responsibility and the potential for strong offspring. It's not a comparison between apples and oranges, it's a comparison between a perfectly ripe apple and one with a few brown spots. Both might be perfectly serviceable and in fact that brown apple may in hindsight be more appropriate for certain recipes, but it doesn't change the fact that the perfect apple is more likely to get picked first.

This isn't me suggesting that you or anyone else shouldn't value quality of personality above all other traits when searching for a relationship, I agree with such an assessment. It is simply the statement that putting effort into personal attributes that are more evident upon cursory evaluation provides people with an, "in" where after they can express that amazing personality or intellect they have. An in that might not exist otherwise.

#46 Posted by Aronman789 (2676 posts) -

@McGhee: On the topic of being obsessed with a drink, how bad is coffee? Because I love that stuff.

#47 Posted by BelligerentEngine (344 posts) -

@Aronman789 said:

@McGhee: On the topic of being obsessed with a drink, how bad is coffee? Because I love that stuff.

It's fine, not great but fine, if you drink it black however if you're looking to pick up women and still enjoy the wonders of coffee look into to teeth whitening products. Lots of coffee is a one way ticket to yellow teeth hell(Take it from your buddy ol' 5 cups a day Belligerentengine).

As an additional note, buy some new shoes or petition your parents to purchase them for you for your next birthday or something. A fresh pair of kicks can work magic with the ladies regardless of their disposition.

#48 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

@Aronman789 said:

@McGhee: On the topic of being obsessed with a drink, how bad is coffee? Because I love that stuff.

The problem with coffee is that if you drink too much caffeine it has a diuretic effect. You start pissing out more liquid than you are consuming. Make sure you are drinking enough water and not getting dehydrated. As far as calories go, coffee doesn't have much at all as long as you aren't adding milk and sugar.

#49 Posted by BelligerentEngine (344 posts) -

@McGhee said:

The problem with coffee is that if you drink too much caffeine it has a diuretic effect.

Ol' Five Cups has been known to make an abnormal amount of trips to the bathroom =[.

#50 Posted by AndrewBeardsley (371 posts) -

@Dany said:

Eat less food but spread it out throughout the day. Decrease junk food amount, limit soda amount. Decrease it slowly. Start walking more and jogging.

Do you have a permit? Go the DMV and get a permit and be sure you can ride with someone. The majority of the test to get a drivers permit is pretty common knowledge stuff but pick up a book, its free, if you want.

What do you want to do in your life? College, high school?

this. don't just limit soda and junk food.

do not eat it. Get your license.

go to university.

ya