Do you know someone who is abusing alcohol and/or drugs?

That's sad to hear about your friend. If he has genuine depression then that's something that needs treating, it sounds like he could benefit from the help of a psychiatrist. To answer the original question though, yes, I do know a number of people who are abusing alcohol.

Uncool story bro :'( Is he taking anything for depression? Anyway, nice of you to be there for him <3
 
Anyway, to answer your question, no. Most people I know don't drink alcohol or do drugs of any sort.

@Gamer_152: Ya, I have tried suggesting stuff like that but he has almost literally had people do things for him all his life so he refuses to put even the simplest of effort into getting help. Even if it would change his life for the better. Plus, he says that he has been in and out of rehab several times and it never worked for him. So I think he his kind of jaded on the idea.

@crusader8463: Man if it's getting that bad, and people are just nurturing that behavior, then you have to be the friend that tells him what he NEEDS to hear, and not just what he wants to hear. Many larger hospitals or community centers have help groups for things like that. If he isn't seeing how his behavior is negatively affecting him on his own, maybe he needs to hear it from other people.

Anyways, yeah I've known a couple of people like that. One was a good friend, a family friend, who actually got out of jail for his addictions late last year, then passed away from an OD the night he got out. Things like that can get out of hand very quickly, and it's a tragedy when it succeeds in ruining a life.

On a lighter note, it's really good of you to stick in there and reading your post it's obvious you care about him. I wish you both the best man.

Well, I don't like to get too personal here online, so I'm not going to elaborate too much on this, but my mom is a major victim of alcoholism. As a result, she's developed what is known as alcohol-related dementia. It's destroyed her whole life. Heck, it's screwed up the whole family. It's like it's created multiple personalities in her, and very rarely is she ever like her old self. Complete personality changes have occurred, so she's like an entirely different person and pretty much all she cares about is getting more alcohol. I've tried so much to get her the help she needs, but my dad hasn't been as cooperative and it's hampered her progress. We've been dealing with it for years now, and the truth is, she'll likely never recover.

@crusader8463 said:

@Gamer_152: Ya, I have tried suggesting stuff like that but he has almost literally had people do things for him all his life so he refuses to put even the simplest of effort into getting help. Even if it would change his life for the better. Plus, he says that he has been in and out of rehab several times and it never worked for him. So I think he his kind of jaded on the idea.

The depression itself could also be a very strong factor in why he won't get help. Of course rehab and psychiatry are very different experiences but with the way he is it sounds like it may take someone reaching out to him in real-life to help him change. You sound like a good person, I hope your friend gets help.

I don't know your friend of course, but I may know where he is coming from. I can almost assure you that the reason he was so dismissive about your bringing up the subject was that he is utterly embarrassed about his situation. It's kinda weird how that works -- a person drinks to feel better, but the drinking makes the person ultimately feel worse (so they drink more). Alcoholism is tough, and it destroys not only the drinker's body but the relationships the drinker has.

It also seems that his situation around him enables and reinforces his addictive behavior. I feel sorry for him, but I know he feels way sorrier for himself.

I can name about 9 people off the top of my head that have problems with substance abuse. It is a sad state of affairs but his family is doing more harm than good but enabling his behavior. This story reminds me of someone I work with.

I talked to this guy every day we worked together about positive change and how you will only be happy if you set off and create it yourself. It took about 3 years but he finally decided to quit doing pills and start working out. His is considering going back to school and moving out. It is a slow start but it is something.

Only word of advice I can give about this is, don't give in and don't give up.

He's not going to change. Why should he? He's got his drugs and a way to support them. He'll be like that till his parents die and then he doesn't have a place to stay.

You can only do so much online. In the end, it's up to the individual. Be kind, and if so inclined, be there for them. That's all you can do.

My sister just got arrested so this was fresh on my mind, have you thought of an intervention, or something more realistic, like a slap with reality?  You're friend won't quit unless someone makes him.  Its an addiction, not a lifestyle choice, remember that.  

Eh I had a friend in high school who took the whole smoking pot thing to far. We started smoking  at the start of our senior year but I stopped months before we graduated and he is still going. We don't talk much any more and I hear he is no longer going into the Air Force and I assume it's because he can't smoke there.

I know exactly how you feel man. I live with someone who started smoking pot. After I while I found out about it and he promised he would stop and I believed him. When I found out he didn't stop a few months later he lost my trust but I still tried to talk to him and help him through his depression. When he could not get any I would wake up in the morning and my father would tell me how he was passed out on the floor in a pile of puke from drinking too much. 
 
Eventually he listened to me and went to the doctor and is now on medication and he is doing a lot better now. He recently started smoking a bit again and is trying to hide it so he still worries me but I try my best to help him through it. I will admit that it got to the point where I could barely live with him anymore. He is a lot better now but I am planning on getting my own place in the future because it is not easy to watch them decline like that for so long. 
 
I will always be there for him but you cannot spend all day talking to them about how worried they are about everything. They focus on the bad things so much that they need to find a good way to relax. The most you can do is talk to him and hope he goes to get help. Being forced into it will just make it harder for him.

I will always be there for him but you cannot spend all day talking to them about how worried they are about everything. They focus on the bad things so much that they need to find a good way to relax. The most you can do is talk to him and hope he goes to get help. Being forced into it will just make it harder for him.

@ crusader8463  
I can totally relate to this story as I am an alcoholic myself. I am trying to stop but it´s really really difficult for me. I only drink beer and is what is considered a functional alcoholic who still keeps a "normal" life and goes to work and stuff. I can totally relate to you friend and I am sure deep inside he wants to stop but just can´t. 

@Bloviator said:

I don't know your friend of course, but I may know where he is coming from. I can almost assure you that the reason he was so dismissive about your bringing up the subject was that he is utterly embarrassed about his situation. It's kinda weird how that works -- a person drinks to feel better, but the drinking makes the person ultimately feel worse (so they drink more). Alcoholism is tough, and it destroys not only the drinker's body but the relationships the drinker has.

It also seems that his situation around him enables and reinforces his addictive behavior. I feel sorry for him, but I know he feels way sorrier for himself.

I couldn't agree more. The more he feels like somebody is pushing him to alter his behavior, the more he will want to withdraw and indulge in his vices and the misery that comes with it. It's a delicate situation. The last thing one would want to do is deliver some kind of ultimatum or directly imply that you wouldn't want to continue being his friend if he kept up with his actions. Gotta handle it with 'kid gloves', but not to the extent that he thinks you're patronizing him.

My advice would be to get him out of the house more often and make him realize he can still experience endorphins without chemical aid. Go bowling, hit up an arcade, have a night out in the big city, whatever. Provide an opportunity for him to remind himself that he's still alive.

Well thats one less person on the planet!

Yes you

@scarace360: Really?

I avoid people like that. I refuse to touch any of that shit, and it's because of that. My family has major alcoholism issues, same with smoking. Whenever my friends started in high school I was always the first to make sure they either stopped that shit or stopped being around them. I don't want to deal with that kind of drama in my life. It's sad that people let that happen to them. I'm uncomfortable with casual drinking, but addiction just makes me sick. I hope your friend gets his shit in order. I know one of my best friends went through a period of somewhat abusive drinking, but got their shit together after some things happened, and I was so relieved. Hopefully the people in your friends life stop enabling and supporting his crap, because he'll never get out of it until he has to in order to survive.

You hit the nail on the head when you said nobody can help him untill he wants to help himself.
 
I am a former drug addict and from the age of 14 was into drugs and crime, IMO addiction is so individual to the person, everyone is different, I always aspired to change to be better where I had friends who were very happy with their life and contiue it now which I could never understand, Nothing good will ever happen while your in that lifestyle, I have been in car crashes where friends have died been to prison been stabbed 5 times on one occasion stabbed once with a screwdriver on a  different occassion, nearly died several times and for what to feel like shite, But even though i felt terrible all the time it was so hard to change, In the end i had to remove myself completly, leave behind every friend I have had since childhood and try to move on, I am at college and working part time now and lifes getting better and I feel no need to go back to that life as I just remind myself daily that it was horrible, addicts are proffesional forgetters they convince themselfs that it was not so bad and remember the good early days fondly and it becomes so easy to relaspe.
 
My advice to you is to just be a friend and one day your chance will come when he wants help and to have you their to provide some could really be the difference for him to change his life, I was lucky that my family always stuck by me so I had them but i would have loved to have a friend that was not into that lifestyle at all and wanted to help things would have been easier.
Good on you also for wanting to help, some people think addict and want nothing to do with them believing the addiction instantly makes him a bad person.
Also the depression could simply be because of the addiction as mine was, my anxiety and depression gradually left the longer I stayed clean, But the intial detox is more difficult as the anxiety and depression are much greater in those first few weeks, It just like trying to quit smoking if you can make it through the first couple of weeks you have a good chance of success and a good life.

Get him to rehab even if you have to drag his depressed ass there.
Or beat him up before you do it, trust me, talking ain't gonna help shit.

I know someone who deals. Does that count?