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#51 Posted by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

@stryker1121: I ain't going nowhere.

@mfpantst said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@mfpantst: I accept reality and understand how things are, what I'm having trouble with is just cope with it.

I'm going to say something that might make you think I didn't read what you wrote. So I'm quoting you so you know I read what you wrote. And then once you get past that you might still get mad. But trust me on this. (I'm figuring I've some years on you so I've a little more learned about living with and hating yourself, discount if I'm wrong). You say you "accept reality and understand how things are" but you are having trouble "coping." I'm going to tell you that 95% what is going on is that either your understanding of yourself and reality are not complete or you have not yet accepted this. I'm also going to tell you with 95% certainty that there is no difference between acceptance/understanding and coping. Once your understanding and acceptance are complete, you will have no coping problem. That being said, the minute you start coping with more ease, you'll probably realize this, and kick yourself. I did.

You're right.

#52 Posted by Guided_By_Tigers (8061 posts) -

I hate to love myself

#53 Posted by ApeGantz (217 posts) -

Let's just say this. Is I could orally service myself I would. Sure there are some negative things about me but that's alright. It was makes me, me.

#54 Posted by mfpantst (2574 posts) -
@Swoxx said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Swoxx: I hate myself, because you hate yourself - because of you clicking this thread. But hate myself otherwise... soo yeah.

Mind = blown.

All of me = blown
#55 Edited by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

@Swoxx said:@mfpantst:

@Tireyo643 said:

@Swoxx: I hate myself, because you hate yourself - because of you clicking this thread. But hate myself otherwise... soo yeah.

Mind = blown.

This is the day where you'll all come to remember Cap'in Jack Sparrow! =-P

#56 Posted by laserbolts (5365 posts) -

Hmm I get where you are coming from. I lost my job just before Christmas and im having a hell of a hard time finding another one. Ive applied to about 50 places but still no call so I have to say this is one of the lower points in my life. I have bills coming up and no idea how I am going to pay them. I have very few friends and consider myself pretty akward so its easy for me to hate myself. I felt that way until yesterday. I have a cousin that lives close to me and I never visit her ever but I just felt I had to talk to someone. I told her all the problems I have had and how hard it is to live day to day at this point. She then told me about a point in her life where she was in a much worse place than I currently am. She told me that one day she just tried looking at things more positively. She said she lived years wallowing in her own self pity and keeping a negative outloook on her life and that that is the main reason she was in that rut for so long. She said once you just suck it up and be a more positive person things will happen for you. She said she turned to God so that it would help her have faith in something. She didnt preach to me and said it doesnt matter what you believe but as long as you have faith that things will turn out better they will. She just bought a house and has a nice high paying job and a boyfriend that loves her very much. So now im going to try having a positive outlook and believe that good things will come to me. I think I will find a good job very soon and thats what keeps me going day to day. If you have family you can talk to or a friend I strongly recommend you do it. It made a hugh difference for me anyways. Also my parents are amazing people and they have helped me mentally more than I can even describe.

#57 Edited by FritzDude (2273 posts) -

*HUG*

#58 Posted by Jolt92 (1579 posts) -

There are things I wish were different but I don't really hate myself. I keep hope up for family and girlfriend, sometimes things get low, but I usually get back up pretty quickly.

I'm OK, there are people worse than me. I love myself but not fully.

#59 Posted by Deranged (1859 posts) -

I used to hate myself for the majority of my life due to being massively overweight and having no self confidence leading into lack of openness and failure to integrate into ideal parts of childhood such as sports or pool parties.

As of late, I've lost all that weight, I'm a personal trainer at my gym and help dozens of people and my friends lose weight and gain confidence in themselves.

#60 Posted by Ashuramaru (41 posts) -

I used to hate myself. Now I don't, but I do still hate who I used to be. "When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead"

#61 Posted by GunslingerPanda (4858 posts) -

I hate myself with a deep, deep passion that keeps me awake at night, every night, wishing my worthless existence would be wiped out. When I go out I have to restrain myself from jumping in front of cars and some times I just want to gouge out my eyes because why not? Often I picture myself lying in my shower surrounded by my own blood or perhaps hacking away at myself with a big fuck off knife with a cheerful grin. And then I hate myself even more for feeling this way because there a lots of people in worse situations and I have a pretty easy life, so I really have no right to feel bad so I am disgusted with myself for it.

#62 Posted by Mysterysheep (372 posts) -

@Tireyo643: About the parents thing. My girlfriend was in a similar situation. She brought up how she was feeling to her parents before and they were all ready to do something but she decided to wait on it a bit longer and as time went on, it no longer seemed as big an issue to her parents. She brought it up again and her parents responded sorta indifferently to it. Bear in mind, she was somewhat vague and had a habit of belittling her problems in front of them. She ended up terrified of the thought of speaking to them in the end because she felt they held something against people who felt depressed or suicidal. She thought they'd either be ashamed of her or ashamed of themselves for not caring more. She really couldn't bare either idea and so avoided another confrontation with them about it. Even though she begged me not to I decided to inform them behind her back. I'm not great at explaining things of a serious nature to people verbally because I'm a pretty nervous person and tend to forget important information because I'm too busy freaking out so I decided to leave them a very long letter instead. They phoned me the next day and it worked it all worked out. Obviously there are still a lot of problems but she's made amazing progress since then.

Now I dunno if any of that relates but I thought it was worth mentioning just in case. Your parents might seem like they wouldn't get it but they're your parents. They brought you up and care a ridiculous amount about you, unless you feel you can tell me different. If they didn't get it the first time, perhaps there's a different way of approaching them. Anyway, no matter what happens, I hope things get better :)

#63 Posted by Moreau_MD (401 posts) -

@Everyones_A_Critic: That was a brilliant post. Very cathartic. Followed.

#64 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -
I don't know. It may be because i'm a teenager, but my emotional life is a rollercoaster. There are days i wake up thinking "OH YEAH BITCH! I'm motherfucking Duke Nukem." and other days i wake up thinking "Fuck man, i'm Duke after the 90's.". I'm a pretty arrogant motherfucker, so everytime shit happens, i keep it to myself. That's why this particular part of Everyones_A_Critic reply stood out for me:
@Everyones_A_Critic
said:

Real men keep their emotions bottled up forever, right? It turns out it takes a lot more balls to admit you need help and pull yourself out of the hole you're in rather than wallowing in it. 

It's pretty easy to hate yourself when you have lots of problems inside yourself. Problems are not going to just vanish, and you will always have one or another that will bug you, but you need to solve them, and keeping it to yourself(Like i do.) is not the solution. This may sound ridiculous, 'cause i'm telling you to do something i couldn't do it myself... But speaking with someone is a step forward, and you do it. I know i will.
#65 Posted by deathstriker666 (1337 posts) -

How can you judge yourself? What criteria are you basing it on? Why the fuck do you constantly ruminate about yourself? How can you be so selfish? I don't understand how you can apply affections onto yourself. You are one entity, one being. Why the fuck am I being so existential? This thread is dumb

#66 Posted by Sooty (8082 posts) -

Love!! Despite my uptight and somewhat overreacting tone on here sometimes I am in fact, a very happy person. Sure I wish I wasn't having to wear braces (overbite, not bad teeth), and I wish I was able to find a part time job easier, but I have a great girlfriend, I have my smarts, I have a few good friends and I have everything I could possibly want at home to keep me entertained. It's a good time to be alive.

#67 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

That's a bit personal. Hate.

#68 Posted by Everyones_A_Critic (6310 posts) -

@Moreau_MD said:

@Everyones_A_Critic: That was a brilliant post. Very cathartic. Followed.

Thanks!

#69 Posted by N7 (3666 posts) -

Love? Hate? Does it have to be so black and white? I prefer to think of myself as a necessary evil. I have ideas and I like to think I'm smart, but I'm not a very determined person. I give up quite easily. I have no drive.
 
In the end I like to imagine that I will be put in a position to get me where I want to be, but I'll somehow fuck it up and ruin all chances to progress in my life.
 
I also have a horrible, HORRIBLE anger problem, so chances are I won't give a fuck anyway. That is a problem to me, but I can't seem to make myself care one way or another so I'm not quite sure what to do.
 
What do you have to worry about, OP? You seem disgruntled but not very specific.
 
I'm not going to pretend to know you or how to magically solve your problems. But as a fellow with a magnitude of baggage, I can tell you that I think I understand. Life is shitty sometimes. You lazily haze your way through life hoping for better, then your dad gets cancer and you're in the ghetto being threatened by your stupid crack-head neighbors. Not only that, but you're out of a job and live with a dying mother, all the while your family doesn't give two fucks because, hey, fuck you. We don't care about you unless we need something or want to run your life for you because our own life is so fucking boring, with abusive husbands and out of control children that we just need to run your day to day life.
 
My family are controlling fucktards and I can't stand them. They don't even see what's wrong with it. My aunt is the most controlling person in the fucking world. If you don't speak to her with the utmost sincerity and heartfilled joy, you can go fuck yourself. When my dad died, for instance, we didn't have ANYWHERE to go but her place. We already know it's going to be a nightmare. She would sit right there and complain about her husband right in front of us. Oh, he's a fucking idiot, he's a nobody, fuck him, he's useless. And then when my mom would say ANYTHING about it, my aunt would LOSE. HER. SHIT and just go off. Ohhh, you can't talk about my husband, you're no good, fuck you etc etc.
 
She actually threw us out a couple of times. We had to buy all of her food, pay half of her electric bill and cable because we were apparently freeloading and we owed her that much. Despite the fact that my dad was a "no good motherfucker", according to her, after he spent all goddamn day fixing her truck, even as he was dying with cancer. She's a bitch and she can die in a fire for all I care. But that's not even the best part. The best part is she knows I hate her so what she does is she'll buy me all this shit that she knows I need just so I have to fucking thank her and spill my guts on the floor about how amazing she is. The world owes her something.
 
You know what, fuck her. She can eat shit and die.
 
So no matter what you're going through, I feel like I can relate. Not on a personal level, but on a "I've got some shit going on too buddy" level. I feel you.
 
Personally, I turn to music and video games to get out my aggression. You never think killing a bunch of people in GTAIV is going to be helpful until you do. Or listening to a shitload of Pandora Internet Radio. But it helps, it really gets some of that stress off of you for a while. For that short while of mass murder and 1980's easy listening, you are free from the bullshit. And for that time, it's good. I like to say "My worst days are my best days". If you can turn that negative into a positive, then do it. Laugh about it. Make jokes. Do what you can to make your life a little bit more fun. Because sometimes you'll want to shut it off and die in the street, but you can't die in the street, fuck that shit. 
 
You are too good for life. Life wants you to quit and get it over with. Prove life wrong. Lead life by the hand into a back alley somewhere and beat the shit out of life. Show life that yeah, it fucking sucks sometimes, but fuck your shit because I'm better than that. I'm not going out right now. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to plant myself in the ground like a tree and weather whatever you throw at me, you stupid bitch. You don't control me. I am the master of my destiny. I am going to go out and get what I'm worth. Get what I deserve. So go suck a dick, life. Fuck right off.

Get pumped up, remember that you are a winner and remember that you have people who care about you. You might not think that, but it's true.

#70 Posted by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

@deathstriker666: Sorry to hear that you actually think that this thread is dumb.

#71 Edited by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

@N7: First of all... that is probably one of the funniest things I've ever read. XD Second, did someone squeeze your balls tightly till the semen came out through them to make you that aggressive? I MEAN GOOD LORD!! Third, someone needs to help you and talk to you badly. Sorry that I won't be able to... Best of wishes to you though, and thanks for the advice. Sorry but.. you just blow'd me away!

@GunslingerPanda said:

I hate myself with a deep, deep passion that keeps me awake at night, every night, wishing my worthless existence would be wiped out. When I go out I have to restrain myself from jumping in front of cars and some times I just want to gouge out my eyes because why not? Often I picture myself lying in my shower surrounded by my own blood or perhaps hacking away at myself with a big fuck off knife with a cheerful grin. And then I hate myself even more for feeling this way because there a lots of people in worse situations and I have a pretty easy life, so I really have no right to feel bad so I am disgusted with myself for it.

SOMEONE HELP THIS MAN! TALK TO HIM!

#72 Posted by N7 (3666 posts) -
@Tireyo643: Actually, I find solace in my rage. I seem to have a solid grasp on myself when I am seething with butt-fucking-satan levels of hate.
#73 Posted by Mahonay (828 posts) -

I tend to be a pretty self deprecating person but I'd say I like me for the most part.

#74 Posted by BSw (256 posts) -

@Tireyo643 and some others in this thread: If you want to talk to someone about your problems in private, feel free to PM me. I am by no means an expert, but I have been helping out people with similar as well as different problems before. If one or more Skype calls could possibly help someone to develop a better outlook on life, I am more than happy to invest some time in it.

#75 Posted by CaptainTryHard (207 posts) -

You should be happy that you're a duder. I dream about wrestling a Luchadeer every night. Trust me when I say I wake up more then happy (;

#76 Edited by kingzetta (4307 posts) -

self hatred makes you a good person and builds character

#77 Posted by thatguyfosho (69 posts) -

nigga i'm cool as shit

#78 Posted by Nottle (1915 posts) -

I'm a mixture of the two. When ever I'm with one of the few people I care about I feel great. But when I'm alone or around people I don't really know I hate my own inability to have any sort of charisma or outgoing-ness. Around people I like I'm able to be somewhat smart, talkative, and loud. But other wise I'm quiet. I'm just a 20 year old dude that goes to college because that is what I was told to do. I have no really passion that I want to follow for a career. I just wanted to get to a point where I could make other people happy. Something modest, something that could make others proud. I always feel like i'm stuck in some place that I care WAY too much about certain aspects of my life, but I'm too apathetic and frightened to make any changes. Right now I just want to get a job, have money, and woo some nice girl that won't make me feel useless.

Raison D'etre. Do you know what that means? That is what I'm looking for, right now nothing has a purpose, but when it does I'll probably be happy.

#79 Posted by PeasantAbuse (5138 posts) -

@thatguyfosho said:

nigga i'm cool as shit

This

#80 Posted by Hailinel (25205 posts) -

I'm happy with myself right now. I've managed to overcome a lot in my life, but there are still things about myself I want to improve and goals I want to achieve. My life has been worse, and it could certainly get worse again at some point, but right now, I'm happy with where I'm at.

#81 Posted by JackSukeru (5964 posts) -

I've learned to like myself.

Sure, as my mood swings the self-deprication can come and go, but the belief that "if I don't love myself, then no one else will either" has always kept me going...even if it's though sometimes. I guess I'm a bit of a romantic and I'll always have hope that things will get better (or at least not get worse), and even if I fail my goals, even if I end up being alone, doing a job I don't want, for the rest of my life; there will still always be those moments that make me think "Hey, life is pretty good".

#82 Posted by nail1080 (1975 posts) -

@Tireyo643: Get over your pathetic little emotions and smoke some weed brah!

#83 Posted by S0ndor (2716 posts) -

Please don't kill yourself tomorrow, just don't. There is no afterlife and you won't be left with shit if you throw away your only chance at life.

#84 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

I have a peculiar mix of arrogance and self-loathing, but it seems to work for me.

#85 Posted by jorbear (2517 posts) -

I love lamp.

#86 Posted by big_jon (5782 posts) -

This thread creeps me out.

#87 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19388 posts) -

I suppose I hate myself. No skills, no hopes, no dreams, no friends... There's not much going for me.

Online
#88 Posted by VisceralWhimsy (55 posts) -

I'm not proud of myself right now; I've done terrible, terrible things to the one person I love most in this world. My bestfriend, my partner in crime, my now ex-boyfriend probably hates me. It makes me want to hate myself, for the things I've done and how I am powerless, unable to be with that person right now. I feel like if I begin to hate myself, I can never really change myself, control and get over the things I dislike about myself and improve. Be the better person for the best man I have ever met, that I grieve for.

I know I need to change for myself, first and foremost. There's a lot of good about me, a lot good going on for me, that I hope he can remember and miss. WAH. God, this is fucking depressing.

#89 Posted by dungbootle (2428 posts) -

I love me! And I love you too!

#90 Posted by Cube (4366 posts) -

Ya I'm a pretty ok guy, I used to be a lot more down on myself but now I'm pretty decent. I like myself, or else I wouldn't do the stuff I do.

#91 Posted by Rerejo28 (135 posts) -

I'm awesome. Not everyone may know it, and I myself might forget it sometimes, but I'm pretty awesome. Why? I'm nice to almost everyone, and I'm hilarious. And I don't hide my nerdyness. If someone doesn't think I'm "cool" enough, they can fuck a metal rake. I obviously don't need them! //,_^

#92 Posted by spudtastic (542 posts) -

I love me. It's just great to be inside this 'bag of bones'. And Christ as my Saviour helps me think that way despite some very hate-able parts.

#93 Edited by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

@N7: I'm going to watch out for you. =-P It's like your almost a danger to yourself and others. lol.

@kingzetta: Indeed.

@Nottle: I never heard of that word before.

@nail1080: Weed doesn't solve problems.

@big_jon said:

This thread creeps me out.

This thread creeps me out too.

@FluxWaveZ: I'm part of that club buddy.

@VisceralWhimsy: Not often to see a girl here. Watch yourself around this group, because we wouldn't want any accidents!

@Rerejo28: How would you make the metal rake fit? =-P

#94 Posted by Nottle (1915 posts) -

@Tireyo643 said:

@N7: I'm going to watch out for you. =-P It's like your almost a danger to yourself and others. lol.

@kingzetta: Indeed.

@Nottle: I never heard of that word before.

Raison D'etre means the purpose that justifies somethings existence. I have no idea what my purpose is. But I have faith that I'll find something.

#95 Posted by TobbRobb (4840 posts) -

I have parts I hate, and I have parts I love about myself. All in all, I kinda suck, but I also don't care.

#96 Posted by cool_guy543 (32 posts) -

There are some aspects to myself I'd change (lose the ADD, be more articulate when speaking, physical characteristics), but overall I'd say I'm pretty content with who I am.

#97 Posted by hanktherapper (384 posts) -
#98 Posted by Raven10 (1922 posts) -

@Tireyo643: I think everyone wishes they could change stuff about themselves. It is natural. That said if you feel like dying then you have a serious problem and should seek help. I have met some therapists who are no help, but the therapist I've been going to for nearly a decade now saved my life. He seriously turned my entire life around. If one therapist doesn't help, find a different one. I've been to at least a half dozen. There are a lot of different approaches to therapy and just because one route doesn't work for you doesn't mean you are beyond help, it just means you haven't found a solution that works for you.

I can say this. If you are a teenager then just take solace in the fact that who you are in high school is almost never a good indication of how successful you will be in adult life. So just hang in there for a couple more years. College and eventually the work force are both completely different experiences to high school. Finally, I'd give this advice. Do what you love. It doesn't matter if it isn't cool or popular to do it. It doesn't matter if it will make you rich. You are going to be much happier in a career you are passionate about than one you hate but makes you wealthy. Never settle for second best and believe in yourself. That's all the advice I can give. Good luck.

#99 Posted by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

@Raven10: I'm no teenager, and college is a lot better than high school... so I agree!

Well, it looks like I'm going to bite the bullet and see if the therapy thing initiates. As for a job... I feel like I'm not ready yet. College has kinda made me knowledgeable, but to a point... scared of the so called "real world".

#100 Posted by itsVASH (172 posts) -

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