#101 Posted by Raven10 (1948 posts) -

@Tireyo643: The key with therapy is to not give up. Sometimes you need to try a couple people before it works out, and sometimes you have to spend a couple weeks getting to know the therapist before you can decide. You aren't going to feel better overnight. It's a process that for me took my entire teenage years. For some people it takes a couple months. For others it takes years. It depends how deep seated the problem is and how easy it is to fix. It will take at least a couple of months so don't stop because you feel like it isn't helping right away.

Also, if medication becomes involved, I would always suggest again, giving it a couple weeks before making any decision, and then if one medicine doesn't work don't think they all won't work. I've gone through more medications than therapists. Eventually I found a couple that worked for me while giving me few major side effects but it took years of trying before they got it right. So don't expect anything to happen overnight, but keep working at it and you will get better.

#102 Posted by crusader8463 (14441 posts) -

I do indeed hate myself.

#103 Edited by mylifeforAiur (3491 posts) -

Well, I'm heftily aligned towards the more negative spectrum on the Wambaugh Curve. Yeah, deep cut. Blade Runner 2 reference, bitches.

#104 Posted by CounterShock (420 posts) -

Hate you, love me.

#105 Edited by benspyda (2055 posts) -
#106 Edited by Godlyawesomeguy (6407 posts) -

I don't have much of an opinion by myself, and I think that is in part because I have not lived long enough to pass judgement. If I were to judge myself at this moment, I would say that I am all right. Nothing to get too excited about. I'm a nice guy and have a few really great friends. I am still figuring out who my general friends are though because they seem a lot like people who don't want to associate with me, and that's fine, but sometimes they are great, and I feel as if they are friends at that moment. I am having a hard distinguishing them between acquaintances and friends, but the good news is that I'll figure it out relatively soon. I compromise my principles too much when it comes to integrity to save my own ass though. I need to work on that. I have a subtle sense of humour and I can charm ladies pretty well, but I can't stand relationships because they are always so stressful and restrictive, but I like the almost "prestige" I get when being in a relationship. It makes it look like a person can stand me without having to be forced to through social means, but the thought of being in a relationship sounds terrible. I have the terrible addiction to doing whatever will make me look the best in front of other people even though I couldn't care less about. Another thing I need to work on and stop giving a fuck about.

/self-absorbed complimenting myself.

I'll judge in more depth and seriousness when I get a bit older.

#107 Posted by Otzlowe (337 posts) -

I feel like most of us are bound to hate ourselves at some point in our lives, particularly toward the beginning / end of college when you kind of have to face who you are and what your life has led to, and when that weight is on us to succeed.

I used to, sure. Hard not to when you're unsure of yourself and socially awkward, as I assume many can relate. Then I just sort of woke up one day and realized that the accolades that others had that I didn't, the money, the muscles, the whatever it was they has wasn't going to make them happy with themselves in the long run. It's just a way to escape the fears you have deep down. It's not necessarily unhealthy, but it's not the same as coming to terms with who you are.

So I sat down and I thought about it, realized what I was good at, got comfortable with who I am and let myself believe that effort, dedication and a little bit of faith in myself would make anything possible. Nowadays, I'm really positive. I'm not radically different, but I'm comfortable with myself and I've been focusing on the steady strides forward into the future.

So, there's not really any advice I can give except don't give up and don't run away from your fears. The struggle is what makes it possible to appreciate life when you crest that hill and you will, eventually. Just don't force it and don't ever tell yourself you ought to feel better now. Have honest faith that you'll feel better. That's the first step. It was for me, in any case.

#108 Posted by bennyboy (329 posts) -

i love myself every night before going to bed ;)

#109 Posted by TimedExposure (44 posts) -

I love being cynically aware, but hate that I'm not blissfully ignorant.

(it works, trust me)

#110 Posted by sir_package_boy (15 posts) -

@Prodstep said:

You should really talk to somebody about it if you really feel that way man.

As for me, I wouldn't go as far as to say I love myself, I still have things I want to do and change about myself, a work in progress as it were.

.

#111 Posted by Sayishere (1841 posts) -

Everyone is self concious about something about themselves, thats normal

I dont particulary like myself, but dont hate myself either

It was worse for me in junior school where i was bullied alot.

#112 Posted by Fattony12000 (7675 posts) -

I drank the last of my cream soda this morning, so I feel like dying and taking down as many people with me, as possible.

But then I will buy some more this evening and I will love everything.

#113 Edited by InsiderGamer (81 posts) -

Hey Tyler,

I don't know you and your situation, but if I could impart a few thoughts here and there -- I think life is inherently unfair. Many are simply born into a life of luxury and comfort (and with it, access to education and advancement and so forth), and many more are not, manytimes, simply by virtue of birth.

Think about it. For many here born in the 'Western' world, we are very fortunate for reasons we had nothing to do with. We don't choose where we were born, or our parents, our genetics and so forth. Not to sound overly deterministic, we do with what we have, but to say life has any inherent 'fairness' to it is misleading. What am I trying to get at? To love oneself wholly, I think, is impossible. I think many could say they are fairly satisified with themselves in the sense of societal norms or standards, but I wouldn't be too fooled.

I don't know you, Tyler, and how you measure your sense of self-worth enough to make this kind of post. But I hope you're not measuring it based on others and a worldly measure of success, because it's often flawed. A person is significantly more than they are able to outwardly show. Think about it. Even among your closest relationships you've ever had, who could you say understands the 'real' YOU unequivocally? I think the answer for most everyone, if they honestly assess, is really no one.

A thought and quick reflection from someone way smarter and eloquent than I once said that real worth, moral worth, comes from duty without inclination. Without going into greater detail, imagine a man that lives a fairly good life, and enjoys the comforts that come along with it. For him to go on living is easy. He has every reason to go on living because life itself is enjoyable. But that in itself has no moral worth.

Now imagine the following. A man down on his luck, impoverished, maybe having lost his wife, children and extended family and has nothing to live for. Should he continue living? Now if he were to, according to Kant, that constitutes real moral worth and is absolutely worthy of commendation. That man has no reason to live by societal conventions, but chooses to regardless, trudging through his great suffering and difficulty. You tell me which man is worthy of greater commendation in the grander scope of things.

Again, what am I trying to get at? At the end of life, no one has a full scoreboard of one's life and accomplishments that fully accounts for their hardships and difficulties in life. And that's partly everyone's fault, for being human as we are and judging things on the surface as we often do. So many times we ask another 'what do you do?' or 'what do you study?' as a measure of their person (well, among other reasons), but how that falters in truly knowing someone for their full worth...

All I can say to you, Tyler, is be strong, and if you feel under-appreciated, to recognize the world's standard may makes sense from a humanly pragmatic standpoint, but fails on a true, comphrensive level. You say you love others, prove it, and help them by sticking it though and having a genuine story to tell that most here simply cannot. Remember, regardless of what others may say, you're no worse than anyone else. We were all born of this earth, and will all eventually cease to be. The greatest man could scarcely add more to their time on this rock. You have that same time, don't waste it -- use it.

I also don't know what you believe. But if you do believe in a higher power, I think it would make sense they are above our human frailities and limitations and actually know you for who you truly are. Don't give up. PM me if you feel like it

(Sorry for ALL the words)

Cheers --

#114 Posted by Ravenhoe (120 posts) -

I am sorry to hear that man. I agree with many others who posted on here. Self-hate is usually a deeper-rooted problem than just superficial things that are wrong with your life or you 'think' are wrong with your life. Almost everything can be changed and most of all, your perception of it. I used to hate myself and I still do sometimes. I suffer from mental health issues, depression, anxiety attacks etc., but I have accepted the fact that I will and must be a constant and life-long struggle with the illness to stay as happy as I can. I have good days and bad days and every time I have a happy moment, I am thankful for it because they are rare but I also know that it lies within my power to make sure happyiness get find its way into my life. First and foremost, don't accept your fate and talk about it, on forums, with friends, with your doctor etc., it is nothing to be ashamed of. Take care buddy.

#115 Posted by Vexxan (4619 posts) -

I like myself :)

#116 Posted by DexterKid (667 posts) -

At this point I'm tired of hating myself and being emotional about it. I just feel completely numb and desensitized to those feelings. I've just resigned to my pathetic insignificant existence, and I'm just trying to pass the days without thinking too much about it.

#117 Posted by Tireyo (6453 posts) -

@Raven10: I'll tell everyone if the therapy initiates first before going to such lengths. One thing I never really wanted to do is to rely on medication for pretty much anything. True it works for some, but the idea seems a bit extreme for someone like me.

@Godlyawesomeguy: How old are you? How how old would you have to be?

@Otzlowe: "I feel like most of us are bound to hate ourselves at some point in our lives, particularly toward the beginning / end of college when you kind of have to face who you are and what your life has led to, and when that weight is on us to succeed." - This would be accurate and can definitely be applied to me. Thing is, that isn't just the only thing that's bound me to this state of self-hate. Though being a bit insane, I have thoroughly read all the comments in this thread probably twice, and reconsidered a few things. So we'll see what happens when it's mentioned to my parents once more.

@Sayishere: I was mentally and physically messed with in middle school, and mentally messed with in high school. So I can relate.

@InsiderGamer: I am of the Christian faith, so yes I definitely believe in a higher power... though I don't talk about it much. Many times I just feel like He broke the mold on a many things. The problems that I would describe to you that I have is that there is a combination of worldly, spirituality, and personal issues that is on my shoulders. Seeing people being able to love themselves... I ain't going to lie, but I do envy them. Perhaps this comment should give you and others a bit of a better idea of why I hate myself.

@Ravenhoe: Well, clearly it's been on the forums on several that I've had. The asexual thing and this... would be a couple of examples. One thing I didn't really expect is for so many people to look at this topic and comment on it... pointing more directly to me than themselves.

@DexterKid: Much of the time, I think I need to do what you just said that you do. It probably isn't going to work though because it'll come back to haunt ya.

#118 Posted by theguy (797 posts) -

I don't know about myself but I hate this thread.

#119 Posted by Yummylee (22746 posts) -

I suck.

#120 Posted by DexterKid (667 posts) -

@Tireyo643: Oh I am certain that I wont be be able to hide from reality forever. It will eventually catch up with me and one way or another things will have to change. But until then I'm gonna keep on ignoring it; cause it's easier that way.

#121 Posted by Chet_Rippo (240 posts) -

I LOVE LAMP

#122 Posted by Atary77 (502 posts) -

I love myself on a daily basis. Even took myself out to dinner and a movie last weekend. It was a good evening indeed.

#123 Posted by dudeglove (8689 posts) -

well isn't this cheerful

#124 Edited by Tireyo (6453 posts) -

@dudeglove:

I couldn't resist. You have been to Moscow, and there were no bears! What did you find in Moscow? O_O Michael Jackson by any chance?

#125 Posted by Winternet (8088 posts) -

I'm still here so I guess I have very good feelings towards me.

#126 Posted by dudeglove (8689 posts) -

@Tireyo643 said:

@dudeglove:

I couldn't resist. You have been to Moscow, and there were no bears! What did you find in Moscow?

Alcoholism, beautiful women, and ludicrously cheap cigarettes. Not necessarily in that order.

#127 Posted by ultimatepunchrod (336 posts) -

I don't think I hate myself, but I really don't like myself a lot of the time. It's not something specific; it's a lot of little things. For example, I get really awkward and freeze up in a lot of social situations; I hate public speaking so much that I lash out at friends and various things of that sort. I guess I just have social issues which is weird since they didn't seem to occur until college.

#128 Posted by Tireyo (6453 posts) -

An update has been posted. Please read, understand, and respect my wishes. Thanks.

-Tyler

#129 Posted by Claude (16257 posts) -
@Tireyo643: My wife hates herself when she poops. She thinks it's disgusting.
#130 Posted by Tireyo (6453 posts) -

@Claude: Isn't that tasty? =-P

#131 Posted by Evenstar (64 posts) -

@RockmanBionics: This is like I wrote it my self a couple of years ago, when I felt good about my self at least most of the time. Except for the part that "if I don't love my self, then no one else will either" Never really understand that, maybe because some people in my life made it seem like something wrong to like yourself, maybe because they didn't like them self and don't want anyone else to feel good either. Well I hope I find my way back to that person again someday and I think I'm on the right track, still have some parts of me that I have to accept and be comfortable with.

But to answer the thread I do not hate my self but I don't love my self completely either.

#132 Posted by Cloudenvy (5891 posts) -

I like myself an appropriate amount!

#133 Posted by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

The trick is to get medication for depression.

Problem SOLVED! YAYAYAYAYAY

#134 Posted by Imsorrymsjackson (853 posts) -

I love me and the life and I lead.

#135 Posted by WarlockEngineerMoreDakka (428 posts) -

Right- long post incoming- sorry. :\

From 2008-2011 or thereabouts, I hated myself a LOT. And I still do feel like hating myself, just not on a constant basis like I did for those 3 years.

It all started with me trying to become more social than I was- but it just never worked out. I simply wasn't capable enough, competent enough, couldn't think on the fly fast enough, or couldn't relate enough due to my incredibly limited interests. For the longest time- this was a limitation/fact I couldn't bring myself to accept. As a result, I started to sub-consciously view myself as inferior to everyone around me. I saw myself as incompetent, boring, useless, etc.

And this self-loathing persisted for those 3 years DESPITE all the positive reinforcement I received from many other people. For those 3 years, I always just immediately dismissed such positive reinforcement. The worst example of this I remember was the following dialog:

One of my Teachers: "You have a beautiful mind- this is a great start for the final paper."

Myself in my Head: "No I don't..."

I really shouldn't have let it get to myself the way it did- cause by 2010, my self-loathing had spread to just about everything I did- as I sub-consciously labeled myself as terrible at everything. My experience with my first real job didn't help at all either: it was an online writing job I REALLY wanted to be good at. I tried very hard to keep it- but I simply wasn't good enough. Despite all my effort (and running into my bathroom to cry at least once per day while I had that job due to the fear of losing it- I won't deny it), I lost the job after a mere few months- only further accelerating my self-loathing. After the loss of that job- the self-loathing completed its spread into my hobbies.

It was a while after that point- late 2011 to be exact- that I finally became consciously aware of just how often I was labeling myself as retarded for little to no reason, as it greatly hampered my dance practices. After bringing it up with my parents- I was initially a bit horrified by the uncertain reaction I received, especially when my mother hinted at therapy being available if I wanted it at my college. This briefly led me to believe "Oh god- I've been right all along, if I need Therapy I MUST be inferior."

Its still a mindset I wrestle with on occasion these days- but at some point right around the end of 2011 I decided I'd change my mindset- make it so I didn't need therapy. My dance instructor's advice of "Don't give a ****, life's too short for that." was a rather extreme suggestion on the issue, but its a methodology that I have been partially using.

It's not easy to just shift mindsets, but sometimes a single different perspective is all it takes to start something with potential. So I can definitely relate with the feeling of wanting life to be different than it is- as that is the exact kind of thinking I sub-consciously forced upon myself for 3 years straight- and arguably still counting.

#136 Posted by c0kemusheen (64 posts) -

@CaLe said:

Don't talk to someone. Health care professionals are as clueless as an old man sitting at a bus stop. They don't know what it's like to be you and will talk to you like they are reading from a book. CBT doesn't work and drugs will have side effects which only make shit worse in the long run. Nothing anyone here says will help you, and knowing why other people love themselves is useless information. Also, if anyone ever speaks online about having some sort of health issue of ANY description, the inevitable responses are 'go to a doctor' or 'talk to a professional' so this is just going to be an echo chamber. No one can help you because it's all in your own head. I don't love me but I do see value in existence. I'm lucky in that I found something I'm passionate about (not games!) and can spend my time doing that. If you can spend your time doing something you like, it might help, I dunno. It helped me.

So i'm guessing you don't believe in mental illness such as schizophrenia, depression or personality disorders. These too are "all in your head", don't ever tell someone who is having suicidal thoughts "don't talk to someone". What is wrong with you man? To the OP Please seek out help! Counselors, psychologists, general practitioners anything. The bottom line is trying a depression medication might have side effects sure, but wouldn't you like to see if it actually worked. Counseling and therapy may not be your thing but at least give it a try. Doing these things as well as finding a constructive hobby, will most definitely improve your quality of life. OP If I may ask, do you have a drug problem? I ask out of experience not condescension.

#137 Posted by CaLe (4120 posts) -
@c0kemusheen said:

So i'm guessing you don't believe in mental illness such as schizophrenia, depression or personality disorders. These too are "all in your head", don't ever tell someone who is having suicidal thoughts "don't talk to someone". What is wrong with you man? To the OP Please seek out help! Counselors, psychologists, general practitioners anything. The bottom line is trying a depression medication might have side effects sure, but wouldn't you like to see if it actually worked. Counseling and therapy may not be your thing but at least give it a try. Doing these things as well as finding a constructive hobby, will most definitely improve your quality of life. OP If I may ask, do you have a drug problem? I ask out of experience not condescension.

Don't believe in them? I had them! I just spoke from my own personal experience, that seeking out help only made things worse for me and I got better by myself. I wouldn't recommend professional help because from my experience, it's not helpful. Maybe from your experience it is, so go ahead and recommend it. Doesn't make my view any less valid.
#138 Posted by Tireyo (6453 posts) -

@WarlockEngineerMoreDakka: Don't ever worry about posting something long. The fact that you had something to contribute along with a good detailed answer is enough.

#139 Posted by AjayRaz (12504 posts) -

absolutely, but i could like myself even more. i'm a work in progress right now.

#140 Posted by Kasswara (178 posts) -

I hate myself. I'm not emo, though.

#141 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19418 posts) -

I don't understand why I have to be so different from everyone else. Kinda pisses me off.

#142 Posted by JonathanAshleyMoore (283 posts) -

I hate myself, but I can at least stand my hate. You sound like you've got some problems kid.

#143 Posted by Arkasai (702 posts) -

I feel like most people who project low self esteem, actually believe the inverse 100% and vise versa. At least that's been my experience, most people are fake as shit and believe in the "fake it till you make it" philosophy through and through. I dated a girl once whom I thought was super confident and secure in her identity. She ended up being the most self hating hopeless individual I've ever met. I on the other hand tend to be pretty pessimistic and negative outwardly, but once the shit hits the fan I pull a 180 and all I can think about is how things will be fixed and everything will be just fine. Coworkers find it annoying actually...they feel like I don't understand the gravity of the situation, when really I'm just 'over it' and ready to figure out how we're going to fix it rather than stand around and bitch about how it sucks.

#144 Posted by poiboizo (2 posts) -

I... don't really know who I am, but for the most part, I'm about 90% satisfied. My life isn't the greatest, and some would say I have no life. I surround myself with entertainment and overdose, and I'm alright with that, for now.

#145 Edited by Stete (748 posts) -

I love myself so much that sometimes I make love to myself and the next morning I serve breakfast in bed to myself.

Seriously though, I love myself cause im pretty happy of what I achieved with my life so far, it could be better no doubt but it could be a billion times worse.

#146 Posted by Guided_By_Tigers (8061 posts) -

Did someone really have to bump another one of this guys threads?

#147 Posted by ApeGantz (220 posts) -
@Arkasai. This! I swear that I have this problem. Especially with my girlfriend. She hates it that I try and figure out solutions to her problems and situations. Instead, she just wants me to acknoledge that shit sucks and that's it.

Oh, and for the topic. I love myself, but hate myself sometimes when others don't feel the same way I do when trying to rectify a problem.