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Posted by falserelic (5725 posts) 3 years, 1 month ago

Poll: Do you show sympathy towards people with low self-esteem? (208 votes)

I got a heart I don't like seeing people that hates on themselves, so I'll try to bring their spirits up if I can. 37%
Fuck no could care less about their personal demons I got my own issues, does that make me a bad person falserelic? nah 3%
Depends why that person has such a bad mindset, then I might feel bad for them, if they about bullshit then I could care less. 34%
I got low self-esteem and I try to think positive, but just can't sometimes. 26%
I knew someone who had low self-esteem, but it didn't end well. 0%

I try to be reasonable on why some people have low self-esteem, but not all of them. A few weeks ago I met this lady at the gym. She's a nice lady, but she has such a negative mindset about herself its annoying. She goes on rants about how she can't keep a boyfriend, she feels like she's not good enough, and then she complains about her weight and blames it on her ex-boyfriends.

Now she's telling me she's planning on having gastric bypass surgery, and at that point I almost ended up saying something that could of hurt her feelings. One she's not really that big, and two she doesn't put much effort into working out from what I've notice. To me it seems like a lazy pointless copout, now I know why some people needs gastric bypass surgery, but in her case it's just stupid.

The only thing I told her was if it makes you feel better then go for it, but think long and hard about your decision. she's an adult she can do whatever she wants to do, but I don't have sympathy for her.

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#1 Posted by Emoney244 (195 posts) -

I got low self esteem and would like a little sympathy.

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#2 Posted by Zajtalan (1261 posts) -

mang im seeing a psychologist for my low self esteem. have some pity everyone needs help

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#3 Posted by falserelic (5725 posts) -

I got low self esteem and would like a little sympathy.

What causes your low self-esteem?

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#4 Posted by falserelic (5725 posts) -

@zajtalan said:

mang im seeing a psychologist for my low self esteem. have some pity everyone needs help

I had low self-esteem in the past, so I can understand.

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#5 Posted by isomeri (2369 posts) -

I used to have really low self-esteem so I know how it feels and I don't want to consider it as a negative for any person. Self-esteem issues are usually created by the people in your life, family and people you interact with. By putting someone down because of their self-esteem problems you are only making things worse for them.

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#6 Posted by Oscar__Explosion (2936 posts) -

@isomeri said:

I used to have really low self-esteem so I know how it feels and I don't want to consider it as a negative for any person. Self-esteem issues are usually created by the people in your life, family and people you interact with. By putting someone down because of their self-esteem problems you are only making things worse for them.

So what of people who put themselves down? I constantly do that to myself all the time and I fucking hate it.

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#7 Posted by JacDG (2170 posts) -

Depends on how they act, if they aren't seeking attention with their issues, sure, but some people "milk" it and whine too much, I used to do that myself a handful of years ago when I was around 15, then I realized hwo annoying it must've been to my friends and stopped doing that.

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#8 Edited by CaLe (4752 posts) -

My bald head is the source of my low self-esteem these days. It used to be my skinny arms, and before that my lack of competent social skills. I wonder what it will be next. I remember when I first started high school and I came home and told my mom that I felt like everybody was better than me. Not academically better, just better human beings. I still dunno what that 12-year-old boy in me was thinking, or why he felt that way, but that's the first I remember having self-esteem issues and they never really went away. Luckily enough, high school turned out to be a great period of my life.

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#9 Edited by FourWude (2274 posts) -

I am low self esteem.

Can people say some nice things to me to boost my confidence.

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#10 Posted by Marcsman (3510 posts) -

I said fuck no. Life is too damn short...............

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#11 Edited by Hunter5024 (6677 posts) -

I've had lots of friends with low self esteem. Usually I try to be as helpful and sympathetic as I can, but there does come a breaking point. There was this one guy I knew who harped on it every time I talked to him. It was incessant, and that's what our whole friendship became about. Yet when I was having a bad day he would always twist it back around to his own personal pity party. That made him a pretty crappy friend so I stopped talking to him.

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#12 Edited by Dagbiker (7036 posts) -

I see the world very logicly.

Logicly none of us matter, logicly me, you or the guy sitting next to me could die tomorrow and the world wouldnt skip a beat.

EXCEPT, we exist, and I have, emotions, so others must too.

SO... Logically everything must matter. Because I care.

Column HeadColumn Head
Guy 2 - NiceGuy 2 - Ass
Guy 1 - NiceGuy 1 feels better, guy 2 feels betterGuy 1 feels bad, Guy 2 feels good
Guy 1 - AssGuy 1 feals better, guy 1 feels badguy 1 feels bad, guy 2 feels bad.

Essentially it is the prisoner dilemma, but with emotions, every one wins when everyone is nice. But it only works when everyone dose it.

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#13 Edited by TruthTellah (9798 posts) -

I've got a heart. But more than that, unless someone is truly despicable, I think people are worth something. And if they're worth something, life's too short to just feel nothing when someone is suffering from low self-esteem. I've known a lot of great people who had issues with self-esteem at times in their life, and I'm glad that others did show them some sympathy.

It's ridiculous to act like we always have been and always will be awesome. That our self-confidence will always be as bright as the sun. Sometimes things suck, and sometimes we suck. And in those times, I appreciate people having some consideration for me and others. What else is strength for? To provide strength when others are lacking. What else is wisdom for? To provide guidance when others are lost. What else is mercy for? To give even when it doesn't seem deserved.

I know that may sound a little pie in the sky, but I am genuinely glad that I have had compassionate people in my life that have helped me through difficulties and made me a better man. It isn't always the easiest or more comfortable response, but it's a response I think you can be proud of choosing. Not to mention, it often doesn't take much to show a little compassion toward those who are misguided about their self-worth. It's easy to get disillusioned in this world, and even a few words or a little gesture can go a long way in reinforcing truth over the lies that can cloud people's perspectives.

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#14 Posted by Jimbo (10453 posts) -

Touch her shoulder.

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#15 Posted by Strife777 (2067 posts) -

I have low self-esteem but do my best not to show it and tend to hate sympathy. I'm not looking to be hated or anything, but I dislike needing help or others feeling pity for me.

It's probably my biggest problem.

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#16 Posted by TruthTellah (9798 posts) -

@dagbiker said:

Essentially it is the prisoner dilemma, but with emotions, every one wins when everyone is nice. But it only works when everyone dose it.

I don't think it's that simple. It's not just a cut and dry result based on responses. In my experience, most people will be kind of jerks, especially if they're coming from a misguided mindset that would lead to low self-esteem. Yet, people not appreciating your kindness doesn't mean you can't still be nice to them or show them some compassion. People aren't just all asshole or all nice. We're mixes, and we're different in various situations and times in our lives. When exhibiting kindness, you can -hope- for kindness in return, but if you -expect- kindness in return, you will likely be mistaken. Kindness or compassion must in itself have personal value to be worthwhile.

Reciprocity is a rarity in this world, and while beautiful and a reason for celebration, it should rarely ever be a contingency to expressing kindness or concern for someone else. Not everyone is your friend, and not every friend is always friendly. It doesn't change that you might care about someone or care about their well being, and that care is enough. Even if they don't reciprocate, it doesn't change what -you- did. You showed kindness or compassion, and that was your choice. Because that's who you are.

If we live our lives contingent on the responses of others, we'll just be captives of people's whims. That's the makings of an inconsistent and unreliable individual who just serves as another cog in the wheel. To me, that's no way to live. Are we not individuals? Are our actions not the only thing we can actually control in this world? Why would we give that power over to the possible responses of others?

If you want to be someone who exhibits kindness toward those you care about, then be that person regardless of if it's appreciated or reciprocated, because at the end of the day, you can appreciate the person you choose to be.

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#17 Posted by Dagbiker (7036 posts) -

@dagbiker said:

Essentially it is the prisoner dilemma, but with emotions, every one wins when everyone is nice. But it only works when everyone dose it.

I don't think it's that simple. It's not just a cut and dry result based on responses. In my experience, most people will be kind of jerks, especially if they're coming from a misguided mindset that would lead to low self-esteem. Yet, people not appreciating your kindness doesn't mean you can't still be nice to them or show them some compassion. People aren't just all asshole or all nice. We're mixes, and we're different in various situations and times in our lives. When exhibiting kindness, you can -hope- for kindness in return, but if you -expect- kindness in return, you will likely be mistaken. Kindness or compassion must in itself have personal value to be worthwhile.

Reciprocity is a rarity in this world, and while beautiful and a reason for celebration, it should rarely ever be a contingency to expressing kindness or concern for someone else. Not everyone is your friend, and not every friend is always friendly. It doesn't change that you might care about someone or care about their well being, and that care is enough. Even if they don't reciprocate, it doesn't change what -you- did. You showed kindness or compassion, and that was your choice. Because that's who you are.

If we live our lives contingent on the responses of others, we'll just be captives of people's whims. That's the makings of an inconsistent and unreliable individual who just serves as another cog in the wheel. To me, that's no way to live. Are we not individuals? Are our actions not the only thing we can actually control in this world? Why would we give that power over to the possible responses of others?

If you want to be someone who exhibits kindness toward those you care about, then be that person regardless of if it's appreciated or reciprocated, because at the end of the day, you can appreciate the person you choose to be.

Exactly, it only works if everyone picks nice all the time, but as you said, the definition of nice is different to different people. Some people might want you to hold the door for them, some might just want you to talk to them.

It might also work if you avoid the people you cant be nice to, or don't like., not always a possibility.

But it definitely will not work if you are an ass to people.

And I don't think thinking like this will fix the world. I don't think that is possible.

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#18 Edited by JasonR86 (10147 posts) -

If I'm in a position to help I try to put that person in positions where they can see success so they can build confidence. If I'm not in a position to help I typically don't spend an awful lot of time with people who have low self-esteem.

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#19 Posted by tonyp2121 (172 posts) -

I used to have shit self esteem for the longest time, a lot of that had to do with the rampant bullying in my school from grades 5-8, but then I hit highschool and I realized that I didn't have to be a loser that didn't stand up for himself. I started thinking positively constantly and even on my shittier days I would try to always keep a smile on my face, not to hide my true feelings but to make the best out of a bad day. It got to the point that at my senior year I was one of the most popular people among my relatively large group of friends and I had quite a large number of acquaintances who would love to just stop, say hi, and talk for a couple minutes. While I have had friends who came up to me and told me some sad issues in their life, and I have tried helping out my friends that are in a rut and just need a little push to make them back to being cheery. At the same time I knew plenty of people who had rampant depression for no other reason than they didn't believe in themselves and I didn't even attempt to help those people out, I hate pity parties. As an example just this weekend me and my friends spent something like 7 hours together just driving around and talking. Later when we were winding down one of my quietest friends came up to me and thanked me personally for inviting him and getting him out of his depression.

TLDR: I help people who need help, and don't help people who just want to have a pity party.

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#20 Posted by wjb (1883 posts) -

Yes and no. Mostly yes.

There are people in my life who have low self-esteem, but their overwhelming insecurities make them self-loathing, narcissistic monsters who constantly attack others. There was a girl I used to work with who was like that. I felt sorry for her because she clearly hated herself, but she wanted a pity party with everyone saying "you poor thing." She had to have had some kind of anxiety or personality disorder, and there was no one in her life to sit her down.

Sometimes my tolerance for people runs out, too. I understand how hard it is to climb out of that hole because I've been in that hole once, but it's hard to sympathize when they're constantly self-serving. I end up feeling sorry anyway because they clearly cannot help themselves, but it's frustrating.

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#21 Posted by OurSin_360 (3482 posts) -

These issues are subconscious and usually stem from childhood, so yes i have sypmathy/empathy for them because it's not something easily changed and controlled.

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#22 Edited by leinad44 (613 posts) -

I have low self esteem. Its my own problem.

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#23 Edited by ArtelinaRose (1992 posts) -

I try to make people feel better all of the time, and I generally just try to treat everyone with respect and kindness. My personal philosophy can more or less be summed up as "don't be the subject of somebody's angry facebook post."

I have low self esteem. Like, really super low. I think we know this by now.

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#24 Edited by Chop (2011 posts) -

I used to have crippling self esteem issues and honestly, I'm still not great in that regard. So yeah, I know what it's like and I absolutely feel bad and understand it in others.

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#25 Edited by Canteu (2968 posts) -

Nope.

But I would never give anyone shit for it.

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#26 Posted by TheCreamFilling (1235 posts) -

I'd say I have somewhat low self-esteem, then I get drunk and don't give a fuck. Other people, I'll try to cheer them up and give them a boost, but it's up to them to overcome it.

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#27 Edited by Tireyo (6713 posts) -

For me, it's hard to say either way. I too have low self-esteem and sometimes go over the edge. I would like to say that I have helped others with their self-esteem issues, but I honestly couldn't tell anyone whether I've helped one or not. All I can really do is to encourage, be courteous, offer advice when asked, never be overbearing, and give out a compliment every once in a while to attempt to help increase ones self-esteem. Sometimes the favor is returned, but it doesn't really matter if it is or not.

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#28 Posted by Fearbeard (871 posts) -

If they are taking out there issues on other people then no, fuck them.

If they are working through an internal struggle then yes

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#29 Edited by TruthTellah (9798 posts) -

Considering how a lot of Giant Bomb and the rest of the Internet has acted today, I'm gonna say the most popular answer is to show no sympathy toward that person and tear them down until they are crushed under the weight of your ceaseless antipathy.

There's an unfortunately big difference between how many people think they'd respond and how they actually end up responding in real situations.

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#30 Posted by Tireyo (6713 posts) -

Considering how a lot of Giant Bomb and the rest of the Internet has acted today, I'm gonna say the most popular answer is to show no sympathy toward that person and tear them down until they are crushed under the weight of your ceaseless antipathy.

There's an unfortunately big difference between how many people think they'd respond and how they actually end up responding in real situations.

Nice people who care about others are a minority anymore unfortunately and so it seems.

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#31 Edited by Gamer_152 (14448 posts) -

I feel like I want to tick more than one option on the poll, but yes, I feel bad for those who have low self-esteem. With some of the responses I'm seeing here, I think we also need to remember that while the two often go hand in hand, low self-esteem and pessimism aren't the same thing. It's sad to see that there are so many people who don't sympathise with those who have low self-esteem because when people are displaying attitudes that are damaging to themselves or others, usually it's because they are unhappy or have been hurt in some way and need help with it. I think the world would be a better place if when we saw people displaying those attitudes, we actually tried to help them, instead of being cold and indifferent or worse, just defaulting to being downright hostile.

Moderator
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#32 Edited by falserelic (5725 posts) -

Every now and then I get low self esteem issues. Usually nowadays its because I dwell on something I did in the past. I made a stupid choice when I was a teen, and that choice still effects my life as an adult. It's something I'll never express on the internet, but that choice will haunt me until I fix it, or else I'm not going to have a good future.

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#33 Posted by TruthTellah (9798 posts) -

Every now and then I get low self esteem issues. Usually nowadays its because I dwell on something I did in the pass. I made a stupid choice when I was a teen, and that choice still effects my life as an adult. It's something I'll never express on the internet, but that choice will haunt me until I fix it, or else I'm not going to have a good future.

I think that's actually rather common. It's not always something in your teens, but we all have regrettable things in our past. If we all looked at ourselves just based on our merits and failures, everyone would have low self esteem, and sadly, that's relatively common despite the sheer amount of faux-confidence expressed by many people. What we have to do is find some way to have mercy for ourselves and others. Forgiveness for our failures.

Few, if any, of us deserve forgiveness for all we've done, but we still somehow have to find it.

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#34 Posted by falserelic (5725 posts) -

@falserelic said:

Every now and then I get low self esteem issues. Usually nowadays its because I dwell on something I did in the pass. I made a stupid choice when I was a teen, and that choice still effects my life as an adult. It's something I'll never express on the internet, but that choice will haunt me until I fix it, or else I'm not going to have a good future.

I think that's actually rather common. It's not always something in your teens, but we all have regrettable things in our past. If we all looked at ourselves just based on our merits and failures, everyone would have low self esteem, and sadly, that's relatively common despite the sheer amount of faux-confidence expressed by many people. What we have to do is find some way to have mercy for ourselves and others. Forgiveness for our failures.

Few, if any, of us deserve forgiveness for all we've done, but we still somehow have to find it.

True, the only thing we can do now is move on from our mistakes, and learn from them.

Though now I've became alot more appreciative for what people did for me when I was younger, even the small things. I just wish back then I listened more, and wasn't so naïve, but the past is the past now.

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#35 Posted by wjb (1883 posts) -

Every now and then I get low self esteem issues. Usually nowadays its because I dwell on something I did in the past. I made a stupid choice when I was a teen, and that choice still effects my life as an adult. It's something I'll never express on the internet, but that choice will haunt me until I fix it, or else I'm not going to have a good future.

That's what affected me, too. In my case, I would dwell on stupid stuff I did in the past and assume everyone remembered those things as vividly as I did and secretly judge me.

I don't have issues with low self-esteem much anymore. At 31, I still sometimes look back at things I did at 18 and be embarrassed with how I used to be, but as it's been said, I took those moments as a lesson over the years. Everyone was kind of stupid when they were young.

I know how you feel; I used to obsess, as well, but I guess it got exhausting the older I got.

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#36 Posted by Everyones_A_Critic (6500 posts) -

Mine has improved greatly over the years but I still struggle with it, so I have a soft spot for people who struggle with it as well. I've found that shy people have an easier time approaching me and talking to me than most so I guess that's cool.

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#37 Edited by Video_Game_King (36565 posts) -

I am that person with low self esteem.

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#38 Edited by FluxWaveZ (19836 posts) -

Totally indifferent towards them and I certainly won't attempt to raise their spirits.

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#39 Posted by wjb (1883 posts) -

I feel sorry for Phil Fish.

THREAD SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

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#40 Posted by falserelic (5725 posts) -

@wjb said:

I feel sorry for Phil Fish.

THREAD SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

who's phil fish?

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#41 Posted by wjb (1883 posts) -

@wjb said:

I feel sorry for Phil Fish.

THREAD SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

who's phil fish?

Some guy who used to make games until something happened.

I forgot exactly what; it's been a while.

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#42 Posted by WickedFather (1694 posts) -

It depends on whether they're boneable. If they are then I'll feed them enough lines so that they don't realise they're out of my league, you know, tell them they're beautiful in their own way, and we're all beautiful (which makes me beautiful, too) then I'll dump my cargo and call a taxi... for them.

I'm not a monster. As they leave I'll say "Stay sexi!!" and give a wink. It's like returning an injured bird of prey to the wild. Fly, climb, soar, smile. The world is yours, now. I'd also say if I wasn't already eyeing up some other forlorn scrubber.

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#43 Posted by falserelic (5725 posts) -

@wjb said:

@falserelic said:

@wjb said:

I feel sorry for Phil Fish.

THREAD SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

who's phil fish?

Some guy who used to make games until something happened.

I forgot exactly what; it's been a while.

LOL! I just notice the thread, sounds like the guy had a breakdown. Though when people said he might commit suicide, this song popped in my head.

Loading Video...

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#44 Posted by TruthTellah (9798 posts) -

@truthtellah said:

@falserelic said:

Every now and then I get low self esteem issues. Usually nowadays its because I dwell on something I did in the pass. I made a stupid choice when I was a teen, and that choice still effects my life as an adult. It's something I'll never express on the internet, but that choice will haunt me until I fix it, or else I'm not going to have a good future.

I think that's actually rather common. It's not always something in your teens, but we all have regrettable things in our past. If we all looked at ourselves just based on our merits and failures, everyone would have low self esteem, and sadly, that's relatively common despite the sheer amount of faux-confidence expressed by many people. What we have to do is find some way to have mercy for ourselves and others. Forgiveness for our failures.

Few, if any, of us deserve forgiveness for all we've done, but we still somehow have to find it.

True, the only thing we can do now is move on from our mistakes, and learn from them.

Though now I've became alot more appreciative for what people did for me when I was younger, even the small things. I just wish back then I listened more, and wasn't so naïve, but the past is the past now.

Yeah. As much as we have failed in the past, all we can control is who we choose to be today. And, unfortunately, even today, we will have our failures. But when they arise, we just have to try it again the next day. True failure is letting it define you. We can be so much more.

And, with that in mind, we should consider viewing others in a similar fashion. If we cannot forgive others, how can we truly forgive ourselves? It's a lifelong struggle to really live that out, but it's worth it to try and show mercy to ourselves and others who don't always appear to deserve it.

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#45 Posted by TruthTellah (9798 posts) -

I am that person with low self esteem.

We're here for ya, VGK. ♥

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#46 Edited by Video_Game_King (36565 posts) -
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#47 Posted by falserelic (5725 posts) -
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#48 Posted by Video_Game_King (36565 posts) -

@falserelic:

It says right in the video where it's from.

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#49 Posted by living4theday258 (694 posts) -
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#50 Posted by Video_Game_King (36565 posts) -

@video_game_king said:

@truthtellah said:

@video_game_king said:

I am that person with low self esteem.

We're here for ya, VGK. ♥

I've my doubts.

you doubt your subjects!? you are no king...

You've given me reason well enough to doubt you time and time again. Hell, you've just admitted to not considering yourself one of my subjects. Does this seem worthy of trust?