Edited 1 year, 5 months ago

Poll: Do you toot in your sleep? (78 votes)

Yes 55%
No 45%

I always find this unusual when i hear (or read) it mentioned. People have claimed to do it in their sleep and even be woken up by it. As far as I know, this does not happen to me. Seems like a problem if you're married.

#1 Edited by SexyToad (2722 posts) -

I don't know, seeing as I'm asleep.

#2 Posted by JouselDelka (966 posts) -

@sexytoad said:

I don't know, seeing as I'm asleep.

What a twist!

#3 Posted by believer258 (12216 posts) -

I don't know. If I do, I've never been awoken by it.

#4 Posted by Quarters (1888 posts) -

@sexytoad said:

I don't know, seeing as I'm asleep.

Yeah.

#5 Edited by Aegon (5852 posts) -

@quarters: @believer258: @sexytoad: Well yeah, the only way you would know is if you woke up because of it, someone else told you or...it stinks when you wake up (I guess).

#6 Posted by LaszloKovacs (1219 posts) -

According to my girlfriend I am basically never not tooting.

That's okay, though - she's actually farted herself awake before.

#7 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6403 posts) -

God, I hope not. I sincerely hope not.

#8 Posted by Ares42 (2800 posts) -

you might not think you do it, but you probably do.

#9 Posted by Turtlebird95 (2621 posts) -

I'm pretty sure I don't so I voted no, but I can't be 100% certain. At the very least, I've never farted myself awake.

#10 Posted by crusader8463 (14429 posts) -

Of course. I always put myself to sleep playing my favourite wind instrument and spend the whole night tooting away on it.

#11 Posted by TyCobb (1975 posts) -

You're relaxed. It's going to happen.

#12 Posted by madman356647 (377 posts) -

It's schrodinger's fart. I don't know if I do or don't, and I have no intention to tape record my butt to find out.

#13 Posted by The_Nubster (2363 posts) -

The answer for everyone is yes. Everyone farts in their sleep. It's (roughly) eight hours, people! You's gonna fart.

#14 Posted by falserelic (5407 posts) -

Fart and make sure someone gets a wiff...

#15 Edited by Brackynews (4094 posts) -

"You get to know people if you see them when they think they're alone. You see them for what they truly are: selfish, deceitful, and gassy." ~ C.R.

#16 Posted by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

Probably.

#17 Posted by wjb (1698 posts) -

I haven't had complaints, and when I wake up in the morning, I'm basically a farting machine. So I assume I hold everything in until morning.

#18 Posted by GunslingerPanda (4860 posts) -

Toot?

#19 Posted by TheHBK (5563 posts) -

@wjb said:

I haven't had complaints, and when I wake up in the morning, I'm basically a farting machine. So I assume I hold everything in until morning.

Same here. I am locked and loaded as soon as my eyes open.

I once woke my brother up by squatting down over his face and lettin 'er rip. He was crying for a while.

#20 Posted by MonetaryDread (2183 posts) -

Every person farts. Whether awake or asleep. Hell, if anything you probably fart more when you are asleep because you are no longer in control of your bodily functions. You just operate in autopilot.

#21 Posted by Marcsman (3296 posts) -

I fire away the dutch oven almost every night

#22 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3823 posts) -

According to my girlfriend. Not my problem though.

#23 Edited by oldenglishC (1008 posts) -

@marcsman said:

I fire away the dutch oven almost every night

The dutch oven is the funniest thing ever, once. Anytime after that you're risking a serious punch in the dick.

(At least that's how it works with my asshole wife.)

#24 Posted by CaLe (4058 posts) -

I've never slept in the company of another person as an adult so I don't really know. I don't think I do. I'm pretty sure I don't snore.

Online
#25 Edited by Ataribomb (97 posts) -

I went ahead and guessed yes, but I'll honestly never know for sure since I'd be sleeping.

#26 Posted by Clonedzero (4196 posts) -

Yeah, you're gonna fart in your sleep. It's just something that happens.

#27 Posted by Rainbowkisses (467 posts) -

This was the first thing I thought of.

#28 Posted by TheManWithNoPlan (6012 posts) -

Tralse

#29 Posted by Castiel (2750 posts) -

@sexytoad said:

I don't know, seeing as I'm asleep.

#30 Edited by Vuud (2035 posts) -

I thought toot meant make tooting noises with your mouth. Which I have done.

But farting in your sleep? You'd be weird if you didn't.

#31 Posted by AlexanderSheen (5111 posts) -
#32 Posted by JouselDelka (966 posts) -

This was the first thing I thought of.

Beyond my will this makes me uncomfortable, I feel like shitting pissing and farting are things that shouldn't be so openly joked about, they're just private, it's weird seeing these two men heartily laugh about a girlfriend farting in her sleep. I mean I love South Park and it's full of clever/funny toilet humor, I like it, but I don't feel comfortable when two or more real life people go there. I'd never fart in front of anyone even a close friend, and I bet I won't do it or joke about it with my future girlfriend, if I ever get any.

Do I have an intimacy problem? Am I lame?

#33 Edited by AgnosticJesus (545 posts) -

@jouseldelka: You may not have intimacy problems but you seem to be unusually uptight.

#34 Posted by JouselDelka (966 posts) -

@jouseldelka: You may not have intimacy problems but you seem to be unusually uptight.

I've had experience with ridicule as a child, that taught me to be uptight as well as be generic in order to blend in as a background cutout and not be subject to ridicule, because that's the only way I know how to achieve respect from others. It is a mystery to me how people loosen up and act silly, yet simultaneously be respected and revered by their peers and co-workers. I wish I could figure it out.

I don't care about respect, I respect myself and am confident in myself, but people don't treat you well or listen to you if you're not respected.

#35 Edited by pyromagnestir (4339 posts) -

As of this moment 47% of you are liars! I'm not sure if you're lying to yourself or to the rest of us, but come on! Of course the answer is yes!

#36 Edited by dudeglove (8318 posts) -

Why wait for sleep when I can do it now?

#37 Posted by Nightriff (5367 posts) -

Yes, my wife said so

#38 Posted by deadmoscow (268 posts) -

#39 Edited by Superkenon (1507 posts) -

You can't prove anything.

#40 Posted by WickedFather (1733 posts) -

@jouseldelka: You may not have intimacy problems but you seem to be unusually uptight.

I don't care about respect, I respect myself and am confident in myself, but people don't treat you well or listen to you if you're not respected.

There's a difference between respect and being openly respectful. You sound like someone you couldn't have banter or really relax with and that means very little respect from people that will enrich your life. Fart, get drunk, make and idiot of yourself but make someone enjoy it by enjoying it yourself or you'll go to your grave already 40 years dead.

#41 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

No, but I've been told I scream in my sleep.

#42 Edited by DeShawn2ks (1058 posts) -

I don't know but my girl sure as he'll does it. One time she farted so loud in her sleep it woke me up and scared the hell out of me. Please don't tell her I told you that.