Do you toot in your sleep?

I don't know, seeing as I'm asleep.

What a twist!

I don't know. If I do, I've never been awoken by it.

Yeah.

@quarters: @believer258: @sexytoad: Well yeah, the only way you would know is if you woke up because of it, someone else told you or...it stinks when you wake up (I guess).

According to my girlfriend I am basically never not tooting.

That's okay, though - she's actually farted herself awake before.

you might not think you do it, but you probably do.

I'm pretty sure I don't so I voted no, but I can't be 100% certain. At the very least, I've never farted myself awake.

Of course. I always put myself to sleep playing my favourite wind instrument and spend the whole night tooting away on it.

You're relaxed. It's going to happen.

It's schrodinger's fart. I don't know if I do or don't, and I have no intention to tape record my butt to find out.

The answer for everyone is yes. Everyone farts in their sleep. It's (roughly) eight hours, people! You's gonna fart.

Fart and make sure someone gets a wiff...

"You get to know people if you see them when they think they're alone. You see them for what they truly are: selfish, deceitful, and gassy." ~ C.R.

Probably.

I haven't had complaints, and when I wake up in the morning, I'm basically a farting machine. So I assume I hold everything in until morning.

Toot?

Same here. I am locked and loaded as soon as my eyes open.

I once woke my brother up by squatting down over his face and lettin 'er rip. He was crying for a while.

Every person farts. Whether awake or asleep. Hell, if anything you probably fart more when you are asleep because you are no longer in control of your bodily functions. You just operate in autopilot.

I fire away the dutch oven almost every night

According to my girlfriend. Not my problem though.

The dutch oven is the funniest thing ever, once. Anytime after that you're risking a serious punch in the dick.

(At least that's how it works with my asshole wife.)

I've never slept in the company of another person as an adult so I don't really know. I don't think I do. I'm pretty sure I don't snore.

I went ahead and guessed yes, but I'll honestly never know for sure since I'd be sleeping.

Yeah, you're gonna fart in your sleep. It's just something that happens.

This was the first thing I thought of.

Tralse

I thought toot meant make tooting noises with your mouth. Which I have done.

But farting in your sleep? You'd be weird if you didn't.

Beyond my will this makes me uncomfortable, I feel like shitting pissing and farting are things that shouldn't be so openly joked about, they're just private, it's weird seeing these two men heartily laugh about a girlfriend farting in her sleep. I mean I love South Park and it's full of clever/funny toilet humor, I like it, but I don't feel comfortable when two or more real life people go there. I'd never fart in front of anyone even a close friend, and I bet I won't do it or joke about it with my future girlfriend, if I ever get any.

Do I have an intimacy problem? Am I lame?

@jouseldelka: You may not have intimacy problems but you seem to be unusually uptight.

I've had experience with ridicule as a child, that taught me to be uptight as well as be generic in order to blend in as a background cutout and not be subject to ridicule, because that's the only way I know how to achieve respect from others. It is a mystery to me how people loosen up and act silly, yet simultaneously be respected and revered by their peers and co-workers. I wish I could figure it out.

I don't care about respect, I respect myself and am confident in myself, but people don't treat you well or listen to you if you're not respected.

As of this moment 47% of you are liars! I'm not sure if you're lying to yourself or to the rest of us, but come on! Of course the answer is yes!

Yes, my wife said so

You can't prove anything.

There's a difference between respect and being openly respectful. You sound like someone you couldn't have banter or really relax with and that means very little respect from people that will enrich your life. Fart, get drunk, make and idiot of yourself but make someone enjoy it by enjoying it yourself or you'll go to your grave already 40 years dead.

No, but I've been told I scream in my sleep.

I don't know but my girl sure as he'll does it. One time she farted so loud in her sleep it woke me up and scared the hell out of me. Please don't tell her I told you that.