#1 Edited by foggel (2763 posts) -

Jesus, I just saw an episode of cops and I am shocked... SHOCKED.
 
So the police go to this house where a 15 year old girl and her mom are arguing. The mom charges her daughter for violence, because the daughter scratched her on her arm. With fingernails. I know crazy. Then they arrest the daughter, and she tells them that her mom started it by pulling her hair. The cop then tells her that parents have the right to spank their children. She got charged with domestic violence.
 
Don't children have the right to defend themselves? Also I greatly disagree in the action of pressing charges against your own children. Well, at least for something that small, and especially at that age. That's going to be in her criminal record for the rest of her life. 
 
I could not believe my eyes and ears.
 
(Do*)

#2 Posted by rathantoras (192 posts) -

Anyone who can't control a 15 year old with words probably doesn't know where children come from.

#3 Posted by fwylo (3556 posts) -

I was spanked as a child. My dad is from Jamaica where his Dad used to bring out the belt and spank his ass like crazy.  I don't have a problem with it, if kids are getting unruly and won't listen.  Sometimes you have to show them who's boss. 
 
Obviously that family is messed up if the mom is pulling the girls hair though so I wouldn't put it past her to call the cops when she gets scratched back.

#4 Posted by trophyhunter (5800 posts) -

yep

#5 Posted by EpicSteve (6471 posts) -

It's legal for parents to hit their children so long as it doesn't cause any permanent or visible damage. There's probably some more detail to that law in the U.S., but that's the basics. Sometimes kids need a little physical assertiveness to teach them. I'm not saying beat the shit out of your kid at Wal-Mart, but a quick slap on the ass when they're not listening to the grounded threats is ok.

#6 Posted by Bucketdeth (8004 posts) -
@rathantoras said:
" Anyone who can't control a 15 year old with words probably doesn't know where children come from. "
True that. 
I always listened and if I didn't I felt bad about it.
#7 Posted by LiquidPrince (15842 posts) -

It really depends on the situation. As a light form of punishment that doesn't leave any sort of actual damage, then sure. As a continuous abusive thing, then no.

#8 Posted by S0ndor (2715 posts) -

If it ever gets to the point where you need to hurt your child in order to get him/her under control, you failed as a parent. Also, the family in question here is seriously fucked up. What kind of idiot calls the cops on their child for a scratch on the arm?

#9 Posted by foggel (2763 posts) -
@EpicSteve said:
" It's legal for parents to hit their children so long as it doesn't cause any permanent or visible damage. There's probably some more detail to that law in the U.S., but that's the basics. Sometimes kids need a little physical assertiveness to teach them. I'm not saying beat the shit out of your kid at Wal-Mart, but a quick slap on the ass when they're not listening to the grounded threats is ok. "
Interesting. It's illegal in Norway. In fact if you spank your child here he or she may be taken away from you.
#10 Posted by NoXious (1338 posts) -

Defend themselves? Whut? Since when is not obeying your parents defending yourself?
If the child doesn't want to listen, a corrective "hit" is allowed. You must be a minor if you consider that a bad thing...

#11 Posted by MisterBoss (44 posts) -

There is a right in spanking? Wut?

#12 Posted by natetodamax (19170 posts) -

If it's necessary than it's necessary.

#13 Posted by foggel (2763 posts) -
@NoXious said:
" Defend themselves? Whut? Since when is not obeying your parents defending yourself?If the child doesn't want to listen, a corrective "hit" is allowed. You must be a minor if you consider that a bad thing... "
No, I am an adult. I would never hit my children.
#14 Posted by intoblivion (314 posts) -

I think that its kind of a old fashion thing considering kids arn't going to learn that in their adult life they must "spank" people who disobey them. However in the right situation it can be a used correctly.

#15 Posted by Ravenousrattler (1417 posts) -

sometimes physical punishment is necessary

#16 Posted by Romination (2775 posts) -

A spanking is nothing. It's a flashy part of your body that's meant as shock absorption anyways. Spank away if it's necessary.
Though at 15 it's a bit old

#17 Posted by Pie (7053 posts) -

Everybody on here is acting as if this kid was 7 or something when she was in fact 15. At that age I  think you have the right to defend yourself. I dont like hitting. Use words. A little smack on the shoulder just to snap a child out of a crying/screaming fit but I mean a really little smack. From age 13 if you still feel as if you need to use violence on your son/daughter then you've mucked up badly.

#18 Posted by StarFoxA (5138 posts) -

As long as parents aren't hitting their children out of rage, but rather out of a desire for the child to obey them, then I think it's fine.

Online
#19 Posted by KnifeySpoony (1164 posts) -

Make that bottom pink.

#20 Posted by Venatio (4482 posts) -

No, I think it's a terrible idea to do that, my parents never did it and I would never do it to my kids

#21 Posted by Tireyo (6409 posts) -
@natetodamax said:
" If it's necessary than it's necessary. "
Exactly.
#22 Edited by MAN_FLANNEL (2462 posts) -

There is nothing wrong with spanking your kids.  My family did birthday spankings when we were little, and it's not like they even hurt that much.  It's abuse if you leave a mark.  Kids are such pussies nowadays.  My father got whipped with a belt and my mother got hit with a wooden spoon.  Teachers would smack them with yardsticks in class.     

#23 Posted by macandcheese (223 posts) -
@Pie said:
" Everybody on here is acting as if this kid was 7 or something when she was in fact 15. At that age I  think you have the right to defend yourself. I dont like hitting. Use words. A little smack on the shoulder just to snap a child out of a crying/screaming fit but I mean a really little smack. From age 13 if you still feel as if you need to use violence on your son/daughter then you've mucked up badly. "

If you need to spank you child at 15 then you have done something wrong,even if it is legal there is a an age period where I think spanking is acceptable, 15 is not it. Also I dont see how pulling you childs hair is comparable to spanking, one is an old fashioned punishment one is something poeple do when they are fighting. I would say that while the law may rest on the parents side I think its totally unacceptable at that age.
#24 Posted by wh1terav3n (656 posts) -

The child had no rights. Parents can discipline their kids as deemed necessary and not abuse (permanent damage, physically or psychologically, or physical altercations that do not involve discipline) and spanking does not do that.
 
That said the mother should not have acted as she did either. Parents abuse their privilege to discipline their child, and she most likely lost the respect of her child.

#25 Posted by Pie (7053 posts) -
@macandcheese: Are you agreeing with me or wh.....?
#26 Posted by sarahsdad (1079 posts) -

I was only ever spanked once that I can remember (by my mom). I don't remember what it was for, so I'm not sure how much good it did. 
I don't remember that my dad ever raised a hand to me. I was generally a good kid, though, so I'm not sure they had much call for discipline. 
My Daughter's going to be 8 this year, and I think we've only spanked her once or twice in that time. Again, I think she's a pretty good kid, so there hasn't been much call for it. 
The most overtly physical thing I've done to maintain the 'Parent = boss' equation is carry her upstairs a couple times when she didn't want to go. 
 
I may change my mind in 7 or 8 years, but currently I think if you're having a hair pulling face scratching fight with your kid when they're 15, you're on the losing end of the relationship. Doubly so if you call the police to sort out your domestic issues.

#27 Edited by Spacetrucking (941 posts) -

Uh, spanking only works against pre-teens and young kids.  A 15-year old girl is no longer a kid and spanking/physical punishment is only going to create more problems at that age. It's bad judgement both on the parent's and the cop's part.
 
Everyone knows that teens are hard to deal with but hitting them is not going to solve anything. It only creates more friction in the relationship and the parent probably lost any chance of having a reasonable conversion.  I can't be the only one who thinks physical punishment is the dumb/lazy way of parenting ? I see it as being very counterproductive. 

#28 Posted by kishan6 (1914 posts) -

of course they does... no but seriously i wouldnt agree with someone doing that

#29 Posted by Brunchies (2484 posts) -

I think it is a terrible thing to do since if the parent does it wrongly as a form of abuse, the kid has a chance to be messed up mentally/emotionally.

#30 Posted by foggel (2763 posts) -
@kishan6 said:
" of course they does... no but seriously i wouldnt agree with someone doing that "
Yeah I realized that typo right after I posted the thread :P
#31 Posted by Turambar (6675 posts) -

Of course parents do.  Why wouldn't they.

#32 Posted by Nunchuckles (195 posts) -

yes

#33 Posted by foggel (2763 posts) -
@Turambar said:
" Of course parents do.  Why wouldn't they. "
I would like to see scientific reports that confirm that spanking children is the best way to handle a situation. In other words: Why would they.
#34 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -

Yes. We need the strap in school also. That'll teach the kids not to be arrogant assholes. They just get off with a slap on the wrist now-a-days.

#35 Posted by Turambar (6675 posts) -
@foggel said:
" @Turambar said:
" Of course parents do.  Why wouldn't they. "
I would like to see scientific reports that confirm that spanking children is the best way to handle a situation. In other words: Why would they. "
Because it's an effective method for them to discipline their own children?  Is it the most "effective" method?  Who knows.  If it works, why not?
#36 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -
@Turambar said:
" @foggel said:
" @Turambar said:
" Of course parents do.  Why wouldn't they. "
I would like to see scientific reports that confirm that spanking children is the best way to handle a situation. In other words: Why would they. "
Because it's an effective method for them to discipline their own children?  Is it the most "effective" method?  Who knows.  If it works, why not? "
Yup. Give the kid a good hit. I bet they wont do what they just did again.
#37 Posted by Tennmuerti (7998 posts) -
@foggel said:
" @Turambar said:
" Of course parents do.  Why wouldn't they. "
I would like to see scientific reports that confirm that spanking children is the best way to handle a situation. In other words: Why would they. "
When they have failed to control/educate their children by other better means.
#38 Posted by JiuJitsuka85 (377 posts) -

TBH alot of kids are fucking spoiled brat nowadays, with big mouths and no sense of discipline or respect. Some spanking should be allowed to try and get those misfits into place.

#39 Posted by cap123 (2477 posts) -

a spank on the bum with the palm of your hand is fine, my parents never really did it past a young age but that was probably only because the government started getting all touchy about it. only when the kid is really acting up though

#40 Posted by UnlivedPhalanx (473 posts) -
@natetodamax said:
" If it's necessary than it's necessary. "
Exactly, I was spanked as a kid. I remember it and I think I turned out better for it.
I often note that people who don't spank mostly have children that either don't respect them or are difficult to control. Not always, but a lot. i work at a grocery store part time while in college and I can always tell which kids belong to which parents usually before seeing the adults at all.
#41 Posted by Turambar (6675 posts) -
@foggel said:
" @Turambar said:
" Of course parents do.  Why wouldn't they. "
I would like to see scientific reports that confirm that spanking children is the best way to handle a situation. In other words: Why would they. "
Let me put my response another way.  Why do you think all parents should only be allowed to control their children the "best way", and furthermore imply that all children react to discipline the same way?
#42 Posted by Griddler (3344 posts) -

No.

#43 Posted by StaticFalconar (4849 posts) -
@foggel: 15 is less than 18 and parents have the right. Is it a good thing to spank a child? Fuck no. But its shit like that why there's bad parents around. 
#44 Edited by heatDrive88 (2268 posts) -

I totally think spanking is fine, and necessary. It's the severity that is questionable and where the moral lines are.  
 
The lone responsibility in this for a parent is that the parent is the moral judge and jury as to what you punish your child for. In other words, you are the hand that shows your child what is right, and what is wrong. It's simply unfortunate that this is where so many parents fail. 
 
The key is to teach the simple fact that if your child does something wrong, that there are negative consequences. The act of spanking and the pain your inflict is basically the most direct negative response you create for your child in response to their wrong doing. Having them stand in a corner or sending them to their room to be 'grounded' is not nearly as severe for a stronger child obviously, and I personally grew up to laugh in the face of these punishments because they caused me no harm. Also, spank early, or don't spank at all.

#45 Posted by HandsomeDead (11863 posts) -

I fail to see how anyone can argue against smacking a child.

#46 Posted by toast_burner (453 posts) -
@StaticFalconar said:
" @foggel: 15 is less than 18 and parents have the right. Is it a good thing to spank a child? Fuck no. But its shit like that why there's bad parents around.  "
How does spanking your child make you a bad parent?
Childrens minds are not complete yet and can be molded, if the parent punishes the child when they do something bad the child will know not to do it. however if you need to spank your child often or at the age of 15 then you are a bad parent
#47 Posted by Kazona (3059 posts) -

Anyone saying that spanking means you've failed as a parent, either never had to deal with an unruly kid, or they're just plain idiots.
 
Yes, a parent has a right to spank their children. That's not to say it should be used for every little thing, but as a last resort, I can absolutely understand giving your child a spank. Obviously you should try every non-physical solution first, but should nothing work, then a good wallop might be just the thing to get the kid in line.

#48 Posted by HypoXenophobia (1045 posts) -

I was spanked as a child, I wouldn't personally spank but I don't blame a parent to having to resort to "reasonable" spanking. I think an effective way would be to take away what a child wants. Regardless, if a parent chooses to spank, it's not going to begat a monster. I was spanked, don't do drugs or have a criminal record.  Equally, I can see how my case isn't indicative of all children. Children lack certain acts of discernment. You touch a hot stove regardless of what you're told and you never do it again. But as for the girl being 15, that's an isolated case because of it being bizarre and shouldn't really be the basis of this discussion.

#49 Posted by foggel (2763 posts) -
@Turambar said:
" @foggel said:
" @Turambar said:
" Of course parents do.  Why wouldn't they. "
I would like to see scientific reports that confirm that spanking children is the best way to handle a situation. In other words: Why would they. "
Let me put my response another way.  Why do you think all parents should only be allowed to control their children the "best way", and furthermore imply that all children react to discipline the same way? "
There are more than 2 ways control their children. It's not verbal or non-verbal. And the verbal part can be used very effectively. I don't know if non-verbal is the most effective way of disciplining a child, but it's violence. And wrong from my perspective.
#50 Posted by eroticfishcake (7782 posts) -

I used to get caned when I was younger. It sounds bad now but at the time it was normal enough. Plus it's a just a cultural thing really. I probably deserved it anyway. 
 
But that aside, I think physical punishment isn't good for a child at any time. It's just not good. In some cases it might work but I'd only use it as a last resort.