#1 Edited by gkhan (532 posts) -

It's that time of year again, when us Europeans immerse ourselves in an orgy of camp and kitsch and have The World's Most Ridiculous Song Competition. Who will win this year? The odds-makers has Sweden as the favorite, but since they won two years ago and Denmark won last year, has Scandinavia fatigue set in? And what about majesty and pageantry of Conchita Wurst, Austria's "bearded lady"? Will eastern Europe's less than stellar record on LGBTQ issues sink this star in the making?

Loading Video...

If you only watch one Eurovision video this year, make it this one.

If you don't live in a country with an official broadcast I believe you can watch the competition live from here (you Americans don't have to feel left out)! The competition starts at 9 PM Central European time, which I believe is 3 PM Eastern Standard Time, though I'm in general not sure how time works. It's roughly 6 hours and 30 minutes from the time of this post, anyway.

If there's any Giant Bomb cats watching the competition, I figure we could have this thread to chat about the Awesome Ridiculousness (tm) of the Eurovision Song Contest. What are your favorites? What do you hope to see tonight?

#2 Posted by erhard (475 posts) -

Eurovision is so lame even the novelty of watching it ironically wears off after the first time.

#3 Edited by stalefishies (367 posts) -

@erhard said:

Eurovision is so lame even the novelty of watching it ironically wears off after the first time.

That's why you turn it into a drinking game.

#4 Posted by Lucri (73 posts) -

Aw yeah!

#5 Posted by TruthTellah (9623 posts) -

Eurovision is kind of terrible, but I hope Ukraine wins.

#6 Posted by ToTheNines (976 posts) -

I seriously cant stand this shit, its so bad I had to go into a thread dedicated to people who love it and express my hate. fuck Eurovision.

Other than that, go Sweden

#7 Posted by Dixavd (1469 posts) -

I thought there was another thread about Eurovision? I distinctly remember finding this link to a fantastic tongue-and-cheek drinking game for Eurovision in it... but I can't find the thread anymore.

I have a love-hate relationship with Eurovision in that I deeply hate those that act in the cliché Eurovision way without the understanding of how damaging it actually it is to cultural identity. I love it though because, when you think about it from the fun side, it is an incredible show - which those that talk about it positively while understanding the damaging parts of it (e.g. sarcastic comments, parodying, etc...) are the people I most enjoy it with.

Another reason why Eurovision is so memorable comes from my childhood when my asthma was exceptionally bad - it was season/month based in that 4/5 years in a row I was in hospital on Eurovision day. Ever since, even now that my asthma isn't much of a problem any more, I have weird anxious feelings leading up to Eurovision day.

#8 Posted by fisk0 (5052 posts) -

I do hope Austria wins this. I think that would be a more effective statement than Ukraine winning, since I don't think Ukraine is in a position to actually arrange the competition next year, both for financial and security reasons, unless they turn it into a huge fucking thing and skips Eurovision altogether next year, which I guess did happened back in the 60's or 70's.

#9 Posted by Gamer_152 (14281 posts) -

I don't really care who wins, I mean we all know there's no honour in the voting by now, but boy am I down for some trashy Europop.

#10 Posted by dudeglove (9053 posts) -

People who think Eurovision is a big deal politically or whatever are missing the point completely. It's the most trashy and ludicrous music competition ever conceived. It's fabulously pointless, and tactics by countries to submit shitty entries so they don't have to host often backfires because the intentionally stupidest or most outlandish entries usually rake in the most votes (I'm looking at you, monster goth rockers from another Finnish dimension Lordi), and it's equally pathetic when some countries try super hard to actually win to host it. Russia pumping out an *actual* pop star (Dima Bilan) along with one of their gold medalist skaters and a famous violinist for the performance back in 2008 was colossally uuuugh, or when Britain sent that desiccated old fart Englebert Humperdink who barely made it into the double digits.

It's... Amazing. Every part of it. MY BODY IS READY

#11 Posted by LordAndrew (14588 posts) -

Eurovision is too awesome to be confined to a single thread.

And apparently Eurovision is already in my phone's dictionary. Good to know.

#12 Posted by Pezen (1763 posts) -

Sitting down with the wife in a few minutes to watch this train wreck. I don't even know who's in it, I just hope some act is crazy. Otherwise it'll be a waste of time. Oh, what am I saying, it will definitely be a waste of time.

#13 Posted by Zlimness (593 posts) -

Just a few more minutes before the show starts. My vote is on Netherlands this year:

Loading Video...

Probably not going to win, but it's a song I could listen to outside of the competition.

#15 Posted by SteamRickroller (318 posts) -


Denmark, your goal is to distract me from Community being cancelled and summer exam woes for the next 4 hours. Don't fuck up, guys.

#16 Posted by Jazz_Bcaz (272 posts) -

Yo, it begins. Anyone else going to be watching? Bring on the absurdity and 2 hours of political voting.

#17 Posted by fisk0 (5052 posts) -

Kinda interesting that they started off with Ukraine. I won't watch more of this until in an hour when they show the 10 second versions of all the songs though.

#18 Posted by Otacon (2252 posts) -

Graham Norton is on form with the commentary.

#19 Posted by hakunin (403 posts) -

@fisk0: The order is randomized. It's a coincidence.

#20 Posted by Rhombus_Of_Terror (2212 posts) -

Cheesecake... and Patrick Swayze?

#21 Posted by fisk0 (5052 posts) -
#22 Posted by SteamRickroller (318 posts) -


#23 Edited by Jazz_Bcaz (272 posts) -

Iceland's lyrics... I can't sneer. This is what I came for.

#24 Posted by SteamRickroller (318 posts) -

I fucking love Iceland's entry. I honestly think I could listen to it when all the dust had settled from this year;s competition. That, and the fact they look like The Wiggles on crack. They're getting my vote for sure

#25 Posted by Gyrfal (129 posts) -

Those two dudes standing in the back of Iceland's set should win the contest.

#26 Posted by hans_maulwurf (130 posts) -

Goddamnit, Giantbomb. Your killing me. First wrestling, then F1 and now fucking Eurovision Song Contest. The first two I was always kinda indifferent towards, but Eurovision I downright despise. And yet here I'm now on the verge of switching on the tv and letting this abominable excuse for a show at least run in the background.

Also, go Austria, I guess.

#27 Posted by Rhombus_Of_Terror (2212 posts) -

@gyrfal said:

Those two dudes standing in the back of Iceland's set should win the contest.


Iceland my fav so far.

#28 Posted by dudeglove (9053 posts) -


#29 Edited by Teoball (664 posts) -


I'm sorry. and I agree.

Edit: Haha. Armenia you're hilarious.

#31 Posted by dudeglove (9053 posts) -

Twelve acts in and Iceland has my vote. They dress like the tellytubbies and are called Poopalonk or something.

#32 Posted by Peakborn (97 posts) -

I'm not sure what France is doing right now: is it good stupid or bad stupid, I'm leaning the former.

I'm in the Iceland camp too, got a real Ok Go vibe from them.

#33 Edited by SteamRickroller (318 posts) -

Á Twin Twin

Je t'aime.

De SteamRickroller

EDIT: Wait, never mind, I just realized that their entry sound astonishingly like this. Or maybe not. I could be wrong. At the very least, it gives me an excuse to post this incredibly awesome song

Loading Video...

#34 Posted by Village_Guy (2749 posts) -

Damn it is all crap pretty much, a few alright moments in between though.

Ah hell, I'll just watch the Friendship is Magic Season 4 Finale again instead of this... I don't even know what to use to describe it with, calling it a mess or shit seems too harsh - and it is just so unappealing to listen to...

#35 Posted by Zlimness (593 posts) -

I love how arrogant France is towards Eurovision. No fucks were given when they sent these assholes to the competition.

#36 Edited by Jazz_Bcaz (272 posts) -

@village_guy said:

Damn it is all crap pretty much


France went for "lulrandom" and chased viral appeal. Lame.

Might I add, we are all waiting to see how Ukraine votes this year right?

#37 Posted by diz (986 posts) -

Bearded Austria Lady FTW!

#38 Edited by mrblobby64 (89 posts) -

I think my favourite thing about Eurovision besides the event itself is how people seem to crawl out of the woodwork to be cynical about it all (here's looking at you, majority of this thread)

My opinion so far? Finland have been the best, but they won't win. Austria or Sweden will.

#39 Posted by Zlimness (593 posts) -

Why, Switzerland? Why?

#40 Posted by Christoffer (2041 posts) -

I can't take it anymore, I need to watch some bone dry Rainer Werner Fassbinder movies to wash this away from my brain

#41 Posted by fisk0 (5052 posts) -

WHAT THE FUCK. The Hungarian entry is legitimately good? Nobody seems to have told them what Eurovision is all about. There's some goddamn drum 'n bass and light Portishead/Massive Attack influences going on in there. FUCK.

#42 Posted by mrblobby64 (89 posts) -

@zlimness: I liked it, one of the better ones so far. Hungary's pretty good too.

#43 Posted by kidman (495 posts) -

As a polish duder I hate to admit our song isn't that bad..

#44 Posted by Peakborn (97 posts) -

As much as a dug the drum and bass in the Hungarian entry, but that spousal abuse choreography put me off a bit.

Malta you are bootleg Mumford & Sons, and I don't like Mumford, at all.

#45 Posted by Jazz_Bcaz (272 posts) -

Malta wins most Mumford. This year feels far less bonkers than Eurovision usually does.

#46 Posted by diz (986 posts) -

@kidman said:

As a polish duder I hate to admit our song isn't that bad..

I think the people scrubbing and making cheese were the best part of that song.

#47 Posted by Zlimness (593 posts) -

@mrblobby64: That whistling is like a fingernails on a blackboard. And before you know it, the violin comes out! I'm loss for words. I'm not sure what I even watched.

#48 Posted by Rhombus_Of_Terror (2212 posts) -

2014, year of the whistle.

#49 Edited by ChoboBot (185 posts) -

Courtesy of the fellows over at NeoGAF: -

#50 Edited by burgavo (636 posts) -

the guy to the right of the piano kind of freaked me out

oh god the most cliche dutch crap ever in the intro "f"ing tulips in damsko