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Posted by falserelic (5407 posts) 5 months, 6 days ago

Poll: Ever felt like someone has a crush on you at your job? (188 votes)

Yeah, there's someone that comes to mind. 52%
Nope, I don't think anyone ever had a crush on me. 37%
I don't think so, but I have feelings towards someone at my job. 11%

Maybe it's my imagination, but there's a co-worker at my job that I think likes me. At first she seemed kinda nervous around me. We both work in different departments at the store, but we clock in on the same time clock. She'll say ''hi'' to me and of course I'll say ''hi'' aswell. I usually greet co-workers when I come to work, so I didn't find it strange. As the days went by she started getting more friendlier.

One day when I was heading to the break room she was there with a friend. She seen me and says '' hey joey'' now she's calling me by my real name, and trying to start conversations with me. As I was working on the floor in the grocery section. She was trying to help a customer, but since I was more familiar with the area I tried to help. When I came over I asked if she needed any help, and she said she was showing the guy where to find the roman noodles in the store.

Then she told me she likes roman noodles and I told her I like them too. We got into a brief conversation of the different flavors we liked, afterwards she headed back to work. Later on I noticed she was having a conversation with her friend by the break room. I didn't want to interrupt so I was going to walk by, but she stopped her conversation just to say ''hi''. The next day at the time clock we both got into another brief conversation. I started to be abit more playful, and we was laughing about bullshit at the job.

Later on when I was working in the aisle. I've seen her walk by I knew she was leaving the store, but she headed back towards the aisle I was working in just to say ''hi''. I noticed she would kinda go out her way just to greet me, even though I don't know her too well. Funny thing is I didn't know her name until I asked a co-worker that knows her, she said her know is april.

I also noticed one of her friends started being more nice towards me. Which is odd since I never really talked to her at all. Then it got me thinking about april more. She's cool, but I also have weird vibes about her.

#1 Posted by ottoman673 (568 posts) -

Not only was it a crush, I've been sexually harassed by a former coworker recently.

She started out friendly, but then after she needed my phone number for a car pool into work, she became flirty, started making passes at physical contact at work, and sent a few nudes over text. (she knew I'm in a happy relationship.)

Needless to say, she no longer works for our company

#2 Posted by cmblasko (1345 posts) -

Yep. The feeling was mutual and I ended up marrying her.

#3 Edited by pyromagnestir (4339 posts) -

Yes. But I am shitty at human interaction so nothing ever came out of it.

#4 Edited by falserelic (5407 posts) -

@pyromagnestir said:

Yes. But I am shitty at human interaction so nothing ever came out of it.

After working at my job for 7 or 8 months now. I've gradually started breaking out of being non-social. I'm alot more social now, compared to when I first started working at my job. Then I lost a shit ton of weight which helped me mentally aswell.

#5 Edited by 49th (2847 posts) -

Say "hi" to her shoulder.

#6 Edited by noboners (109 posts) -

Absolutely. And she might be just as nervous as you. I guess my only advice is make sure you're not just misreading a girl being nice to you for a girl flirting with you.

#7 Posted by pyromagnestir (4339 posts) -

@49th said:

Say "hi" to her shoulder.

With your hand.

#8 Posted by falserelic (5407 posts) -

@noboners said:

Absolutely. And she might be just as nervous as you. I guess my only advice is make sure you're not just misreading a girl being nice to you for a girl flirting with you.

True, I'm hoping she's just being nice.

#9 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

Not a lot of people crush on the King.

#10 Posted by falserelic (5407 posts) -

Not a lot of people crush on the King.

So your telling me the king doesn't have a queen?

#11 Posted by rachelepithet (1392 posts) -

No one's ever liked me in any walk of life. Oh well.

#12 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@video_game_king said:

Not a lot of people crush on the King.

So your telling me the king doesn't have a queen?

Oh, no. I'm married to a Queen. It's just political, really. In either case, romantic feelings for the King aren't really a part of Senastian culture.

#13 Edited by Demoskinos (15148 posts) -

Uh, maybe? I just give no shits about having any sort of romantic relationship that I kind of just ignore and or are oblivious to any signs being thrown my way.

#14 Posted by Dixavd (1369 posts) -

At a job, no (but that's because I've never had a proper job where this sort of thing could occur) but at school/college then sure. One girl had this odd thing where during every conversation (usually in a group with other people) she'll turn to me and ask me a bunch of questions about me (steering the topic to that). She didn't seem to do it with anyone else, but I couldn't tell if it was because she had a crush on me, simply wanted to get to know me more, or if she did it to everyone but I only saw her much less frequently than everyone else so whenever I was there she would ask me questions as she'd have another chance with someone else.

I never did anything about it because I don't really want a romantic (or sexual) relationship in any capacity, and I'm antisocial to the point of only wanting a limited number of friends (though I try my best to be open and happy and seem interested when around other people - regardless of if I know them that well).

If did want something to happen with it though, I'd ask to meet her (and/or all of my friends from there) outside in my free time or something. Relationships are just another form of opportunity, and as the cliché goes, if you want them then you need to try and take a chance when they appear.

Regardless, I try and be friendly with everyone (especially if they are clearly trying to be nice to you or build some form of relationship - even if just as "co-workers who know each other's names"). It takes a lot of effort on my part, but it's usually worth it.

#15 Posted by gokaired (570 posts) -

II general no, no one likes me like that and if so, i'm not equipped to tell.

Regardless the phrase "Don't sh!t where you eat", exists for a reason. Relationships in the work place can be toxic.

#16 Posted by OneManX (1693 posts) -

@pyromagnestir said:

Yes. But I am shitty at human interaction so nothing ever came out of it.

After working at my job for 7 or 8 months now. I've gradually started breaking out of being non-social. I'm alot more social now, compared to when I first started working at my job. Then I lost a shit ton of weight which helped me mentally aswell.

Same.

People you work with, tend to notice all the changes in you before anyone else, i get a ton of comments about me losing weight, and I've notice I get some glances from the ladies, but yeah, as someone said, there is a line between "being nice" and "attracted to you", it's hazy... on a good day.

#17 Edited by Hunter5024 (5963 posts) -

There was one coworker who showed interest in me. I asked her out and did not enjoy the date at all. Work was very awkward after that.

#18 Posted by EVO (3941 posts) -

Are roman noodles a thing?

#19 Posted by Belegorm (676 posts) -

Not technically but a co-worker and I are both the greenhorns at our work and share a lot of common interests. So possible developments in the future?

#20 Posted by ajamafalous (12155 posts) -

Yes, and she told me as much. I was in a committed relationship of 3.5 years at the time, though, so nothing ever came of it. The end.

#21 Posted by Teoball (640 posts) -

Yes. We ended up being together for a year before we both changed jobs and it kinda petered out. It was a fun year though.

#22 Posted by ViciousBearMauling (1247 posts) -

Yeah. It usually comes from me being too nice. People take it as more than it really is, even if they know I'm in a relationship. Not really a big deal until they won't stop pursuing me. I've had 1 or 2 women who would consistently send me nudes over text even after repeatedly telling them to stop. I ended just telling my boss and they were quickly fired for sexual harassment.

#23 Posted by alwaysbebombing (1649 posts) -

No, but I totally had this one chick who HATED my guts because I was promoted instead of her.

It's like, dude. I have years more experience than you and a college degree. What did you expect?

#24 Edited by wjb (1697 posts) -

@falserelic: It's always hard to assume those things. Unless she's laying onto you hard, there's the possibility she's friendly because she wants to be friends. Stay the course like you're doing and hopefully nothing weird happens.

I worked at a grocery store up until a few years ago, and it was the one job where a lot of the single people were into at least one other person in the building. So much as to actually consider dating. It was weird and kind of creeped me out because I wasn't used to that sort of behavior. I've had previous jobs where it was possible that a couple of people here or there were fooling around outside of work (sometimes me being one of those people), but it was private and ultimately, no one cared. A LOT of people wanted to know everyone's business at the grocery store, and there would be multiple couples happening at the same time. It was like the working-class version of The Office (US) where everyone is fucking everyone.

I suppose people have had crushes on me from time to time, although I sound like such an ass for even acknowledging it. Early on at the grocery store before I understood the culture, there was a girl my age who flirted with me hard and I was in a weird position just getting out of a relationship a few weeks prior. She was cute and I eventually asked her out after multiple people mentioned to me that she spoke to them about my possible interest in her. Nothing ever happened (no dates) -- thank god -- but I soon began to realize over the weeks and months that she wasn't well mentally and couldn't hide it like she did before. She became very toxic and people were under the assumption she had some kind of personality disorder. I eventually stopped speaking with her and she got upset and began harassing me for weeks until she finally got transferred.

Other than that, who knows? Did some of the high school girls who work cashier think I was cute in an "older guy" sort of way as they looked at me as I walked by? Don't know and don't care. I assume anyone being nice to me is doing it to be nice to me. I fell into a narcissistic hole when I was younger.

I don't try to be "good friends" with anyone at work unless we share a common interest, so I mostly keep myself busy. I like my social life separate from work.

#25 Posted by Clonedzero (4196 posts) -

Uh, it's happened in the past, but i wasn't aware at the time. I was totally clueless, plus i was kinda into her as well. It's a shame. Ah well.

#26 Edited by TheHT (11785 posts) -

If she accidentally walks into the mens washroom then you're a match made in heaven.

#27 Edited by Ben_H (3431 posts) -

Yup, and I had 2 other co-workers tell me as such because they had noticed it too (the big give-away being that they asked her about relationships and what kind of guy she wanted, and when my name came up she started blushing big time). I had already figured it out by that point. She always sat beside me or near me at break/lunch so she could talk to me and made a point of working with me whenever possible. I kept noticing her also asking me lots of more personal questions indirectly (like figuring out roughly how old I was, stuff like that). I asked her out recently. We'll have to see what happens.

There was this other girl too, but that was school. Just thinking about that bums me out. She was super nice, insanely smart and we got along perfectly, but her parents forbade her from dating until she was done university (which, due to the program she was in, was going to be 4+ years minimum). We found this out after we had made plans to do a bunch of stuff.

#28 Posted by ripelivejam (4857 posts) -

Not only was it a crush, I've been sexually harassed by a former coworker recently.

She started out friendly, but then after she needed my phone number for a car pool into work, she became flirty, started making passes at physical contact at work, and sent a few nudes over text. (she knew I'm in a happy relationship.)

Needless to say, she no longer works for our company

that was entirely unwarranted and unacceptable

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

#29 Edited by hunterob (110 posts) -

Thinking back, there were definitely girls at a previous job I had that had a crush on me. I was like 16/17 at the time, and I either thought irrationally "no she's fucking with me" or I got anxious and flaked out when I should have asked them out. At my current job it's really complicated with this one girl.

#30 Posted by Shindig (675 posts) -

I got a non-ironic valentines card off a colleague one year. And a possibly ironic one last year. At least I hope it was ironic, otherwise I've shot down the poor lass.

99% of the girls I work with are otherwise attached.

#31 Posted by TheManWithNoPlan (5991 posts) -

Yes. But I am shitty at human interaction so nothing ever came out of it.

This

#32 Edited by Sergio (2249 posts) -

Yes, but it turned out she was just extremely friendly with me. Her manager, my manager, and others thought we were dating before I even decided to approach her. She was already in a relationship.

#33 Posted by Nick (697 posts) -

Happened a few times, it's always kinda awkward.

#34 Posted by Corevi (4863 posts) -
#35 Posted by TheAcidSkull (738 posts) -

Nope, I couldn't tell if a girl liked me even if she had a sign on her forehead saying "I want you to fuck me!"

#36 Edited by AndrewB (7689 posts) -

@falserelic I'm terrible at reading people because there's such a diverse range of personalities among people that without already knowing someone there will be mixed signals. She could just be a friendly and polite type, she could use more people to relate with at work, or maybe there's actually a spark. Either way, give it a bit to maybe actually get to know the girl enough to know if you'd click and then there's no harm in going out on a date if it makes sense.

Oh, and to answer the general question, I'm sure I'd have a similar response to the rest of the thread. I've definitely had people hit on me in the past but was completely oblivious to it at the time. I've had at least a couple where I'd probably be kicking myself for not pursuing, but whatever. Of course now that I'm a better, more mature person more capable of noticing, it hasn't happened for awhile (or has it??? :O).

People really should just be more open about their intentions. Ask me if I'm down for however deep you want things to get, and the worst that can happen would vary between me telling you I'm not interested ever or that I'm not interested just yet.

#37 Posted by Aegon (5831 posts) -

Yeah. It usually comes from me being too nice. People take it as more than it really is, even if they know I'm in a relationship. Not really a big deal until they won't stop pursuing me. I've had 1 or 2 women who would consistently send me nudes over text even after repeatedly telling them to stop. I ended just telling my boss and they were quickly fired for sexual harassment.

So you really are a Persona MC...interesting.

#38 Posted by ViciousBearMauling (1247 posts) -

@aegon said:

@viciousbearmauling said:

Yeah. It usually comes from me being too nice. People take it as more than it really is, even if they know I'm in a relationship. Not really a big deal until they won't stop pursuing me. I've had 1 or 2 women who would consistently send me nudes over text even after repeatedly telling them to stop. I ended just telling my boss and they were quickly fired for sexual harassment.

So you really are a Persona MC...interesting.

God damn it every time you reply to me you make me laugh.

#39 Posted by AMyggen (3636 posts) -

No :'(

#40 Posted by CornBREDX (5997 posts) -

Ya. It happens a lot for me.

Just ask her out- the worst that can happen is she says no. It's not going to kill you, but you could regret never saying anything.

Unless of course you don't want to ask her out. I guess there's always that.

#41 Posted by DeadpanCakes (1065 posts) -

@themanwithnoplan said:
@pyromagnestir said:

Yes. But I am shitty at human interaction so nothing ever came out of it.

This

This x2

This 3: The Reckoning. Though, I've grown more comfortable with interaction since, so I imagine it'd be different if it happened again.

On a related note, on two separate occasions (different people), I've had somebody awkwardly place their hand on my knee. I can't help but feel like I was supposed to do something besides look at them with an incredulous sideways squint.

#42 Posted by Zevvion (2362 posts) -

Not only was it a crush, I've been sexually harassed by a former coworker recently.

She started out friendly, but then after she needed my phone number for a car pool into work, she became flirty, started making passes at physical contact at work, and sent a few nudes over text. (she knew I'm in a happy relationship.)

Needless to say, she no longer works for our company

Really? It's rare to hear of cases like this where people aren't being sexist towards men, and do not take their complaints seriously.

@corruptedevil said:

@themanwithnoplan said:
@pyromagnestir said:

Yes. But I am shitty at human interaction so nothing ever came out of it.

This

This x2

This 3: The Reckoning.

Best. Reply. Ever.

#43 Posted by guanophobic (329 posts) -

Me and my girlfriend met at work, been together for 3 years now.
Management never found out about us until we left a year in, their reaction wasn't comforting either.

#44 Posted by falserelic (5407 posts) -

@wjb @andrewb Yeah, it's probably best for me to get to know her before I make up my mind. I always keep my guard up and expect the worse. I remeber when I was 330 pounds there was this one girl that I would talk too. She was always nice and at a point I was getting interested in her. Until one day I overheard her conversation with her friend making fun of me because I was fat, her friend basically was saying why she would talk to me to begin with. After that I never talked to her again. I never brought it to her attention I just ignored her.

Now that I'm 200 pounds and got into fitness. When I think about it what she did effected me in away. At that time I wasn't happy with my weight at all, and then life wasn't going the way I wanted. I ended up being depress for years until I got tired of it, and wanted to change everything about me. Next thing I know I ended up exercising and it helped cope with my depression. Since I lost the weight I've had women hit on, but when I was big that rarely happened. It wasn't something I was use too, and I didn't really know how I should respond when a girl did that.

Anyway, it's best for me not to be in a relationship as of now. My life still isn't where it needs to be at the moment. I'm 21 (going on 22) I've moved back in with my mom who has a boyfriend, and I don't even have my drivers license yet. I just recently renewed my driver's permit, but I can't get no practice until September. On top of that I want to really make sure I have a six pack. Even though I've gotten hella lean, and packed on some muscle. I still got some fat on me that I want to get rid of for good. I don't want to go balls deep with a chick and my skin is all fat and saggy.

As for the girl at my job. I don't really know whats going to happen. I don't mind being just friends, but I want nothing more then that. Then again life can be unpredictable so I don't know.

#45 Edited by AndrewB (7689 posts) -

@falserelic: I went through a similar thing with a sudden, life-changing level of weight loss during a rock-bottom state of depression. Part of the obliviousness comes from not being used to being seen as "attractive," to be sure, even if I have no doubt that I am. It's a weird disconnect.

As to the saggy skin thing, I feel like to a certain extent that's going to be something that doesn't just go away without some kind of cosmetic surgery. I know that I at least gave it an extensive go with exercises specifically targeting the belly/hips, and while it helped to some extent, I don't feel like there will ever be "perfection." At least to me it feels like the damage has been done. I'd love to be corrected by someone who is actually a professional or has had experience themselves, though.

Being in a flux is not necessarily a reason to completely take yourself away from the possibilities of a relationship. Just make your position clear to them and let them know things could be rocky as you need to move/focus on schooling/work. In the early (even late) 20's you're definitely not alone in that regard, so they'll most likely have the same issue in establishing a relationship. Everyone is looking for something specific out of a "relationship," and all you need to do is to make sure that your interests/expectations line up. All of that deeper thought should probably come after you've actually decided if this girl is actually interested/interesting :P A crush is a crush, and interest doesn't often translate over to much more than a one-night stand.

#46 Edited by Humanity (10070 posts) -

* ABORT * ABORT *

Don't even think about dating a coworker.

#47 Posted by BBAlpert (1576 posts) -

My only other coworkers are my parents so I sure as fuck HOPE not!

#48 Posted by fisk0 (4486 posts) -

@themanwithnoplan said:
@pyromagnestir said:

Yes. But I am shitty at human interaction so nothing ever came out of it.

This

This x2

This. And I've been at the same place for 5 years, so I don't expect anything to change.

#49 Posted by bemusedchunk (734 posts) -

Keep Business and Pleasure separate.

Unless you work for Newport cigarettes.

#50 Edited by SecularBaron (192 posts) -

I like to assume they all do.