Friday the 13th (2009) Review

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Everyones_A_Critic

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Jason Lives!
Jason Lives!

This is a spoiler-free review



Kee-kee-kee-kee-ha-ha-ha-ha

The sound of Friday the 13th is unmistakable. It's actually the phrase "Kill Mama" sped up enough to make it sound even eerier. The sound started over 20 years ago, and has rang in our ears since. The film franchise has been in sequel hell ever since part 6 of the series (arguably the best in the series) hit theatres in the 80's. Indeed, Jason has been through it all. He's been to hell, Manhattan, and back to his home in Camp Crystal Lake all with time to kill horny teenagers in between. But enough with the retrospective, you've seen these on every movie-related website. Is this "re-make" any good or not?

I'll start off by saying that anyone looking to make a modern slasher movie these days needs to take notes from the new Friday. Marcus Nipsel has delivered once again, and has a bright future ahead of him in the horror genre. He has made the movie more than just mindless slaughter, and an actually jolting experience.

Our story begins with a brief re-cap of why Jason is so pissed off at everyone. We see a brief but necessary black and white sequence of Mrs. Voorhees getting her head chopped off by the lone surviving counselor of Crystal Lake, and then the opening titles begin. After this, we are introduced to our first group of unlucky teenagers. This is essentially part 2 of the series in a nutshell. The cast does a fine job (especially for a horror movie) of a group of teens looking for a mythical patch of weed growing somewhere near Crystal Lake. When their GPS leads them lost, they are forced to camp out by the lake and start searching again in the morning. I bet you can figure out what happens next. The whole sequence will prove to be incredibly nostalgic for those of you who grew up with the series, or just fans of the franchise in general such as myself. Jason is in top form here (and throughout the film for that matter) and by the half hour mark our first group of teens are slaughtered. On to part 3, the meat and potatoes of the movie!

It is in part 3 that the film gives its audience a break. Nipsel uses the same tactic he used in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) to tease the audience but give them just enough time to recover before hitting them again. Part 2 is ripe with jump-scares and suspense, and they work. I only physically jumped once during the movie, but the sense of suspense kept me on the edge of my seat at all times. In part 3, we have a jump scare here and there, but there are more suspense-filled moments that usually are more effective than jump scares that really work well. There's a scene in a barn, with an inept farmhand trying to aprehend the one whose been stealing his kerosine (I wonder who it could be??!). This is where Nipsel shows his true colors as a horror fan. The farmhand creeps up the steps slowly, and gets to the attic. It's here that we don't see anything in dissaray. When I was expecting a jump scare at any moment, there was none. Instead, the farmhand approaches a tall figure draped over in a cloth. As his hand slowly reaches up to it, everyone in the theatre shares the same thought: "Don't do it....!" but of course he does it, and the result isn't what you'd think.

As the body count rises in the film, we see the film's largest flaw: the lack of creativity in the kills. Sure, there are a few moments where you'd think "Oh, that's kinda cool I guess." but the film is sorely lacking in this area. We are treated to a few rehashes of kills previously used in the series, and these are nice homages, but I thought this was a re-imagining of the first three movies? This is the film's chief flaw by far, that and the lack of gore. The teenage nudity is in full force, but the gore just isn't there.

Those looking for a shot-for-shot re-make of the film are going to be dissapointed. Many critics have labelled this to be a "Greatest-Hits Re-Mastered" version of Friday the 13th, and I fully agree with them. This feels like a full sequel for the franchise, and I look forward to what lies ahead. Word is that Nipsel has his sights set on A Nightmare on Elm Street re-make, and I can't wait to see it.

MISSCELLANEOUS COMMENTS:

  • Jason isn't a pot farmer!!!! I'm sure you're all smart enough to comprehend that Jason isn't a fucking weed farmer, but some critics seem to be confused here. Fuckin' idiots.
  • Try to predict the film! My friend and I were trying to predict what was going to happen next (slashers are always very predictable) and of the 20+ times I tried, I was proven wrong. They've upped the ante with this one, and Nipsel knows what we expect to happen.
  • Why the backlash from horror fans? The last thing I expected from the horror community was negative reactions to the film. People seem to love it or hate it, if you hated it, let me know why.
  • Take notes bitches! Like I said in the review, if you plan on making a slasher film, learn how to do it right from Nipsel. Make it a rated R roller-coaster ride and you'll do fine, let's hope this film cuts down on drek like Prom Night (2008).



 

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c1337us

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#2  Edited By c1337us

I was going to over look this movie, but it sounds as though I should be giving it a chance.

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ZombieHunterOG

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#3  Edited By ZombieHunterOG

the only thing i dont like about is its a remake of Friday the 13th two almost 

Jason wasn't even in the original friday the 13th  movie 
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SoothsayerGB

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#4  Edited By SoothsayerGB

^

Jason movies have tons of camp value.  But no way am I paying money to see one.  Plus it didn't even have Keven Bacon getting stabbed through the throat.