• 65 results
  • 1
  • 2

This topic is locked from further discussion.

#1 Edited by Simplexity (1382 posts) -

Seeing as the off topic forum on Giant Bomb is the official place to seek help in these matters on the internet I figured I'd throw my hat in the ring as well and get some life advice from you guys.

Basically I need to get rid of someone, lately I have had a dull throbbing pain in my side in the form of some insufferable woman who just will not leave me alone, I have no idea why she keeps pestering and bothering me but I simply cannot for the life of me get rid of her.

I am not really sure what she wants from me but I have deduced that she either wants to be my friend or something or she wants to wear my skin as a suit.

So please help me Giant Bomb you're my only hope, how do I make it very clear that she should leave me alone in the most discreet manner possible?

#2 Posted by Lunar_Aura (2779 posts) -

#3 Posted by AlexanderSheen (4932 posts) -

Here's my twist.

#4 Posted by DrPockets000 (2859 posts) -

Mutilate your face so that you're no longer physically attractive to her.

#5 Posted by Simplexity (1382 posts) -

What actually happens if you call that number? Is it a number to some random office or something?

#6 Posted by Phatmac (5723 posts) -

@Lunar_Aura said:

#7 Posted by endaround (2140 posts) -

Get a restraining order

#8 Posted by Simplexity (1382 posts) -

@DrPockets000 said:

Mutilate your face so that you're no longer physically attractive to her.

That is what is so baffling about all of this, I am probably the least attractive person on earth and while I would not describe her as "good looking" I most certainly wouldn't call her ugly either. This whole thing just makes no sense.

#9 Posted by Lunar_Aura (2779 posts) -

Ok here's how to get a girl off your back. 100% foolproof method.

Act interested in her.

You're welcome.

#10 Posted by Simplexity (1382 posts) -

@Lunar_Aura said:

Ok here's how to get a girl off your back. 100% foolproof method.

Act interested in her.

You're welcome.

Fuck, you're a genius, thank you!

#11 Posted by supamon (1333 posts) -

@Simplexity said:

I am not really sure what she wants from me but I have deduced that she either wants to be my friend or something or she wants to wear my skin as a suit.

What's wrong if she wants to be your friend? Some people here have trouble getting noticed by women to begin with.

#12 Posted by AlexanderSheen (4932 posts) -

@Simplexity said:

@DrPockets000 said:

Mutilate your face so that you're no longer physically attractive to her.

That is what is so baffling about all of this, I am probably the least attractive person on earth and while I would not describe her as "good looking" I most certainly wouldn't call her ugly either. This whole thing just makes no sense.

Then be happy that someone tries to be with you. If what you're saying is true, then you don't have the luxury to pick from multiple girls. Dude, come on!

#13 Posted by Simplexity (1382 posts) -

@supamon said:

@Simplexity said:

I am not really sure what she wants from me but I have deduced that she either wants to be my friend or something or she wants to wear my skin as a suit.

What's wrong if she wants to be your friend? Some people here have trouble getting noticed by women to begin with.

The problem is that she annoys me to my very core, every time she talks to me I feel suicidal. I have no idea why it's like that I guess it's just one of those things.

#14 Posted by Jimbo (9775 posts) -

Show this thread to her, and her friends and family. She will sooo, like, literally, like, die of embarrassment OMG.

#15 Posted by Cloudenvy (5891 posts) -

@AlexanderSheen said:

@Simplexity said:

@DrPockets000 said:

Mutilate your face so that you're no longer physically attractive to her.

That is what is so baffling about all of this, I am probably the least attractive person on earth and while I would not describe her as "good looking" I most certainly wouldn't call her ugly either. This whole thing just makes no sense.

Then be happy that someone tries to be with you. If what you're saying is true, then you don't have the luxury to pick from multiple girls. Dude, come on!

Take what you can get, bro! Smoke 'em while you get 'em!

#16 Posted by Winternet (8007 posts) -

Oh snap, a twist!

#17 Posted by supamon (1333 posts) -

@Simplexity said:

@supamon said:

@Simplexity said:

I am not really sure what she wants from me but I have deduced that she either wants to be my friend or something or she wants to wear my skin as a suit.

What's wrong if she wants to be your friend? Some people here have trouble getting noticed by women to begin with.

The problem is that she annoys me to my very core, every time she talks to me I feel suicidal. I have no idea why it's like that I guess it's just one of those things.

Well in that case, if the only way she can find you or contact you is through phone or internet, you just have to block/ignore her. If in person then always politely reject her offers to do stuff and tell her you have to be somewhere else. You're going to have to be creative with your lies but chances are she'll figure it out anyway, maybe rage then stop contacting you.

You could tell her upfront that you need space but the outcome probably wouldn't be pretty. There is no good ending buddy.

#18 Posted by Ramone (2960 posts) -

Fart in her general vicinity whenever she comes over to talk to you. Problem solved.

#19 Posted by 49th (2696 posts) -

what's the twist?

is she a lizard

#20 Posted by SgtGrumbles (1024 posts) -

Pictures and bank statements of all parties.

#21 Posted by BiG_Weasel (524 posts) -

"So I says to her...I says...biiiiiiiiitch"

#22 Posted by xaLieNxGrEyx (2605 posts) -

@Lunar_Aura said:

Ok here's how to get a girl off your back. 100% foolproof method.

Act interested in her.

You're welcome.

Boom.

#23 Posted by gamefreak9 (2344 posts) -

@Simplexity said:

@Lunar_Aura said:

Ok here's how to get a girl off your back. 100% foolproof method.

Act interested in her.

You're welcome.

Fuck, you're a genius, thank you!

This works I can vouch!

#24 Posted by S0ndor (2715 posts) -

Tell her to Fuck Off

#25 Posted by nintendoeats (5975 posts) -

Start learning to play the drums.

#26 Posted by kashif1 (1428 posts) -

I'll give the same advice I've given in other threads, tell her how you feel.

#27 Posted by StarvingGamer (8030 posts) -

Find some activities that don't involve her talking.

I'm sure there are better things she can be doing with her mouth.

#28 Posted by DonutFever (3550 posts) -

Tell her you play videogames.

#29 Posted by craigbo180 (1739 posts) -

@Simplexity: Give her a good beasting bro.

#30 Edited by Grixxel (763 posts) -

Ask if she'll do anal. Out of the blue. Repeatedly.

Don't forget to wear your best pedo face. If you don't have one, practice.

#31 Posted by Cheesebob (1232 posts) -

touch her shoulder

#32 Posted by RazielCuts (2939 posts) -

@BiG_Weasel: Oh man, you have started me on a path of greatness!

#33 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

Next time she's around you, just whip your dick out and see where things go from there.

#34 Posted by Slax (894 posts) -

Step 1) Ask her what she wants from you?

Step 2) Say "No".

Step 3) Walk away

#35 Posted by Irvandus (2826 posts) -

Act interested, I would say act like your gay but sometimes that doesn't even work.

#36 Posted by BiG_Weasel (524 posts) -

I got your solution right here, buddy- hit on her friends. Repeatedly.

#37 Posted by Red (5994 posts) -

I had a similar problem, and your need for tact in this situation depends entirely on how often you have to see this woman, and whether she is part of your circle of friends or not. I made the mistake of rather abruptly telling her to leave me alone, despite being in several classes with her, and having several of the same friends, making things really awkward whenever we bumped into eachother, which was often. That, and all my friends thought I was a huge jerk for a while. In hindsight, I don't really know what I would've done differently, I just wish it would've had some better result.

If you don't see this woman outside of when she approaches you, feel free to just tell her to get lost.

#38 Posted by JasonR86 (9611 posts) -

@Simplexity:

Tell her to go away. Be clear and unemotional. Make it clear why you want her to leave you alone and don't bull-shit the issue. Be clear and straightforward. Don't be 'nice' but don't be a jerk either. Be honest.

Online
#39 Posted by AngelN7 (2970 posts) -

Let her touch your shoulder

#40 Posted by Lego_My_Eggo (989 posts) -

@AlexanderSheen said:

Here's my twist.

Needs more M. Night Shyamalan.

And OP, fake your own death.

#41 Posted by dropabombonit (1484 posts) -

Just let her now you don't like her, burn the bridge. That is what I done to a girl when I was at school

#42 Edited by SexualBubblegumX (542 posts) -

Naw duder, make sex to her. Make sex to her till the sun explodes. NEVER TURN DOWN A WILLING VAGINA!


Remember take my advice with a grain of salt, I have gotten gonohriea before.

#43 Posted by MarkWahlberg (4580 posts) -

@SexualBubblegumX said:

Naw duder, make sex to her. Make sex to her till the sun explodes. NEVER TURN DOWN A WILLING VAGINA!

Remember take my advice with a grain of salt, I have gotten gonohriea before.

That's actually an old wive's tale, adding salt to a vagina doesn't prevent S.T.D.'s. It does increase stimulation though, so as long as you wear protection it's totally worth it!

#44 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1215 posts) -

Do the face bro.

#45 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

Kill her and bury her in your backyard.

#46 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6387 posts) -

Fake your own death.

I'm serious.

#47 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -

We're getting Shyamalan down here!

#48 Posted by thedj93 (1237 posts) -

warning: if you do actually end up having sex with her it could really complicate things later on 
 
or it could totally be worth it! 
itsuptoyou!

#49 Posted by dekkadekkadekka (730 posts) -

Take your hand off of her shoulder.

#50 Posted by ApeGantz (216 posts) -

Tell her that she is a poison to your life at the current time.

:)