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#1 Posted by soli (60 posts) -

Hi Giantbomb community, ive always depended on you through the good times now i need some help throught the bad times.
If any of you duders can gimme any wisdom on how to face this thing.
 
The story is ive been with this girl for 3 years. We loved each other, i at least thought she was the one.
The last 2 months shes been cold and then out of the blue ( i admit i missed a bunch of signs ) she tells me shes no longer in love, needs space and needs to be alone.
My whole world is rocked..
 
 Any of you experienced this?How did your eact?Did you get her back?Should i just accept it and move on?

#3 Posted by X19 (2306 posts) -

#4 Posted by BigLemon (1022 posts) -
@soli:
We've all been there man. It's not an easy thing to go through.  
 
Personally, I reacted pretty poorly when I broke up with my first girlfriend. I just kept myself busy and surrounded myself with my friends. It didn't make me not miss her, but it made the going a lot easier. I don't know enough about your relationship to speak much to it, but if you want to get her back, I would at least give her the space she wants right now. 
 
If you don't get back with her, it's not the end of the world. Chances are you'll meet someone new in a few months and you'll be just fine. I've been with my current girlfriend for going on a year now, and I could care less about my exes. 
 
Just keep your chin up. It's what Batman would do.
#5 Posted by Underachiever007 (2468 posts) -
@drag said:
" @soli said:
"Should i just accept it and move on? "
yup "
#6 Posted by Cowmeat (142 posts) -
@X19:  I laugh every time I see that picture.
#7 Posted by soli (60 posts) -
@BigLemon: well if batman says so..thanks man :)
#8 Posted by Ben99 (1135 posts) -

may be she got tired of some of the things you do . The key in a relationship is "awareness" .
Also, and I don't mean you , stupid people should never hook up .

#9 Edited by PhatSeeJay (3322 posts) -
@soli: To keep it simple. Take it with some grace. Be upset by it, sure. That's only natural.
But try not to waste your energy in turning this thing into something horrible where even the thought of her poisons your blood.
 
Maybe the spark will re-ignite some day but don't live your life with the hope of it, and certainly don't let her know that. Give her what she need and show her that your life won't stop simply because she's not there anymore. 
As BigLemon said. Just do what Batman would do.

#10 Posted by hedfone (1751 posts) -

pics

#11 Edited by IBurningStar (2161 posts) -

I have always handled things that really upset me or depress me by playing video games. When I learned my grandmother passed away the first thing I did was go and play through Resident Evil in one sitting. I would sort of tear up every now and then while playing, but I tried to just focus on the game and completing it as fast as possible. When I lost my job I sat down and started leveling a new character in WoW. I would never play anything that let me run into a room and start mowing guys down, nothing I could take out anger on. I would keep my mind busy doing something I enjoy while working through emotions. I guess I use that as a way to stagger the way I take it all in and it allows me to sort of start coping with it right up front.  By doing something I would do any other day I guess I am telling myself that life goes on and that soon everything will be fine again.
 
Find something to keep your mind occupied so you don't get to down on yourself. And don't drink any alcohol, you'll just start feeling worse and probable end up doing something stupid. Like calling her while you are wasted and just making an ass of yourself. I've done that one on multiple occasions and it never plays out well. 
 
Also, girls come and go, but Batman is forever.

#12 Posted by Tally_Pants (591 posts) -
@X19:  LMAO this is actually the first time i've seen that pic..and i love it!
@soli: and I've been where you are too, i dated a girl for 4yrs before it went south (first she dumped me..then we got back together a few weeks later then a couple months after that i dumped her...) its been almost a year since i dumped her and life's not so bad! just gotta get through the first couple weeks, they are the worst, then slowly you begin to move on. you'll be alright duder, this shit happens all the time!
#13 Posted by DystopiaX (5297 posts) -
@drag said:
" @soli said:
"Should i just accept it and move on? "
yup "
word.  
Or more bluntly, find some hotter ass, profit.
#14 Posted by BombKareshi (996 posts) -
@BigLemon said:
" and I could care less about my exes. "
Please, duder.
#15 Posted by ckeats (489 posts) -

I recently had a fallout with my girlfriend of four years. We had a house and I was putting the ungrateful whore through college. Tirms out she was cheating on me the entire time and instead of staying around her and feeling like ass, I moved 700 km away and went to university.

Best thing i ever did for myself.

#16 Posted by soli (60 posts) -
@IBurningStar: i actually tried doing that but i just couldnt do it...even a kill spree in killzone seems sad  to me..
#17 Posted by MooseyMcMan (10822 posts) -
@DystopiaX said:
" @drag said:
" @soli said:
"Should i just accept it and move on? "
yup "
word.  Or more bluntly, find some hotter ass, profit. "
Indeed! And if/when you do find "some hotter ass," make sure you parade her around your ex, because that'll make her super jealous, because all women of jealous of pretty much everything. 
Moderator
#18 Posted by soli (60 posts) -
@MooseyMcMan:unfortunately  we had a long distance relationship so cant do that dammit
#19 Posted by JerichoBlyth (1044 posts) -

Owned.

#20 Posted by Red12b (9084 posts) -
@JerichoBlyth said:

" Owned. "

Prick... 
 
Did she take your fridge? When mine walked out, she emptied the food out of my fridge and took it... 
 
she took my goddamned fridge. 
 
who takes the fridge?  
 
Anyway, 
 
 
It's up to you how you react and certain people can do certain things, but what I did was just focused on myself for a bit, I needed to get myself in a routine, something where I could get into autonomous mode for awhile, listen to music that calmed me, because I was pissed off more than anytthing, and I started to exercise more frequently, going for a run and exhausting yourself works to make yourself not notice anything.  
 
Then, I went and got lei'd.  
 
    
 
But that's me, everyone makes their own path, just know that this will probably be one of many break ups you'll have, and to remember that there are plenty of women out there,  
 
unless you live in dubo, then...you're fucked.
#21 Posted by Meowayne (6084 posts) -

You will die alone.

#22 Posted by floodiastus (1262 posts) -
@Red12b said:
" @JerichoBlyth said:

" Owned. "

Prick... 
 
Did she take your fridge? When mine walked out, she emptied the food out of my fridge and took it... 
 
she took my goddamned fridge. 
 
who takes the fridge?  
 
Anyway, 
 
 
It's up to you how you react and certain people can do certain things, but what I did was just focused on myself for a bit, I needed to get myself in a routine, something where I could get into autonomous mode for awhile, listen to music that calmed me, because I was pissed off more than anytthing, and I started to exercise more frequently, going for a run and exhausting yourself works to make yourself not notice anything.  
 
Then, I went and got lei'd.  
 
     But that's me, everyone makes their own path, just know that this will probably be one of many break ups you'll have, and to remember that there are plenty of women out there,   unless you live in dubo, then...you're fucked. "
Haha took the fridge, sounds like a fat girl, except... why did she leave the food ;)
#23 Posted by Red12b (9084 posts) -
@floodiastus said:
" @Red12b said:
Haha took the fridge, sounds like a fat girl, except... why did she leave the food ;) "
Nah, she was around 5"11 and 75ish kilos,  
And I think her brother needed it or something so she just let him take it, I tried getting it back but just decided to wash my hands of her, I borrowed my fathers fridge freezer unit untill I could afford to get my own one back,  
 
And it was just to leave me in a bit of a fucked situation, she was...I dunno, a bit of a mess I suppose is the polite way to describe it. 
#24 Posted by Red12b (9084 posts) -
@Meowayne said:
" You will die alone. "
and you will too so you know...look forward to that...
#25 Edited by mutha3 (4985 posts) -

I don't get why forum dwellers are so quick to say"DROP HER INSTANTLY". If you're going to dump someone at the slightest bump of the road, why do you even bother with long-term relationships? Societal pressure?
 
OP, if you're serious about her, I'd at least try and find out the why's and how's. Its not nice when relationships end in such a unsatisfactory way. 
 
Uhh...bit of an important notice: don't be a creep about it and if she doesn't want to talk, don't keep pressing.(don't know why you're asking giantbomb for relationship advice, btw)
 
@Meowayne said:

" You will die alone. "


Hahah, I swear to god every single relationship thread.
 
Bitter much?:P
#26 Posted by VIP0R (6 posts) -
@Red12b: I thought my ex was bad to just want the Iron back...
#27 Posted by TooWalrus (13153 posts) -

Enjoy some free time, play some more video games, then in a year or so, find a nice night elf priestess and settle down.

#28 Posted by BombKareshi (996 posts) -
@mutha3 said:
" I don't get why forum dwellers are so quick to say"DROP HER INSTANTLY". If you're going to dump someone at the slightest bump of the road, why do you even bother with long-term relationships? "
Just real quick: I think getting dumped equates to a little more than a "slight bump in the road", typically. Might just be me, though.
#29 Posted by Red12b (9084 posts) -
@VIP0R said:
" @Red12b: I thought my ex was bad to just want the Iron back... "
It was my fridge too....
#30 Posted by Tebbit (4456 posts) -
@TooWalrus said:
" Enjoy some free time, play some more video games, then in a year or so, find a nice night elf priestess and settle down. "
Story of my life...
#31 Posted by mutha3 (4985 posts) -
@BombKareshi said:
" @mutha3 said:
" I don't get why forum dwellers are so quick to say"DROP HER INSTANTLY". If you're going to dump someone at the slightest bump of the road, why do you even bother with long-term relationships? "
Just real quick: I think getting dumped equates to a little more than a "slight bump in the road", typically. Might just be me, though. "
I guess. But that was meant more as a general statement,anime avatar guy.
 
I mean, seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a relationship advice thread on GB where, like,70% of the posts aren't  "DUMP HER INSTANTLY".
#32 Posted by Ineedaname (4319 posts) -

Shit in her letterbox.

#33 Edited by MEATBALL (3156 posts) -

Put money in her mailbox. That will help. You should also send her flowers or chocolates every day for at least a month and attempt to call her two or more times an evening. If she doesn't respond send approximately 15 text messages in a 5 minute window. Stuff like "I still luv u u r the 1 i will kill ur family jk lol'. This is how you will win her back.

#34 Posted by tomte (291 posts) -

I had been together with my ex for almost a year when she broke up with me, it was okey except for the fact that my best friend died 2 days later and my parents got divorced the following month... That was a pretty bad month, i also turned 20 in the middle of it all

#35 Posted by BombKareshi (996 posts) -
@mutha3 said:
" @BombKareshi said:
" Just real quick: I think getting dumped equates to a little more than a "slight bump in the road", typically. Might just be me, though. "
I guess. But that was meant more as a general statement,anime avatar guy.  I mean, seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a relationship advice thread on GB where, like,70% of the posts aren't  "DUMP HER INSTANTLY". "
Well, I don't think relationship advice threads are taken seriously by the majority of the Giant Bomb userbase, moustache effigy dude. I figure that's why a lot of people don't seem to put a lot of effort into their responses.
#36 Edited by mutha3 (4985 posts) -
@BombKareshi: Yeah, pretty much. Which raises the question of why people make these threads in the first place. You will always get terrible advice from people who either don't care a lot or have no experience in the first place(lol gamers).
#37 Posted by s10129107 (1182 posts) -

find another

#38 Posted by BombKareshi (996 posts) -
@mutha3: I always figured it's to give their bruised egos a bit of a boost by "proving" to other gamers that they do in fact have a love lives (broken as they are). The actual advice given is of little consequence.
#39 Posted by Cwaff (1260 posts) -
@drag said:
" @soli said:
"Should i just accept it and move on? "
yup "
You need to do this and as soon as possible, clinging on and creating false hope is really terrible and will cause you a lot of pain down the line.
#40 Posted by EpicSteve (6479 posts) -

No one can give you good advice without knowing the bulk of your relationship, and personalities of both parties. A 3 year old relationship has too many variables. Just cut your losses and move on. Find some girl to bang, then you're going to enter what I like to call, "post-good relationship--relationship". This is were you will enter a relationship with some girl who is pretty similar to the one you had, or completely different. However, that will only last a few months. You will probably have a single gap for a couple of months, and will then find a better lady. 

#41 Edited by Gearhead (2251 posts) -
#42 Edited by swfcfan (264 posts) -
@soli said:

"Should i just accept it and move on? "

Accept it......  She and I are really  happy together :)
 

(WOW I'm a pr**k sometimes!)
#43 Posted by Ghostiet (5242 posts) -

Look out the window.

Do you see chicks?

End of advice.

#44 Posted by Hot_Karl (3309 posts) -

Accept it and move on and don't think about it. If she's not in love with you anymore, nothing will change that. It's unfortunate, and it hurts. It really hurts. It's probably the worst thing ever to stop loving someone who stopped loving you. But you don't really have a choice- life doesn't care about keeping things simple.  
 
So just move on and find the girl that's right for you. Won't be easy, but it'll be worth it.

#45 Posted by AlisterCat (5520 posts) -

Stay off the internet. Stay away from her. Throw yourself in to what you love. There is no way you can do anything quick to fix it. Just do things you enjoy and over time things will work out.

#46 Posted by Hourai (2795 posts) -
  @JerichoBlyth said: 
" Owned. "
@Meowayne said: 
" You will die alone. "
epic trollings XD
#47 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -
@soli: Hooker with a heart of gold,find one, you'll feel better.
#48 Posted by kingzetta (4307 posts) -

poop in her front yard

#49 Posted by wefwefasdf (6729 posts) -
@VinceNotVance said:
" Accept it and move on and don't think about it. If she's not in love with you anymore, nothing will change that. It's unfortunate, and it hurts. It really hurts. It's probably the worst thing ever to stop loving someone who stopped loving you. But you don't really have a choice- life doesn't care about keeping things simple.   So just move on and find the girl that's right for you. Won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. "
Yeah, it really does. Just remember that the pain will stop and there is someone else out there.
#50 Posted by Vinny_Says (5700 posts) -

go kill yourself
 
 
what do you want us to say? that everything will be alright? Ok here we go....
 
 
Everything will be alright, there's plenty of fish in the sea.
 
 
Now that a bunch of people you don't know on the internet have lied to you, do you feel better? 
 
move the fuck on and go fuck some other bitch, it's not like your mom died or some shit, if something that important happened you wouldn't be on here posting.