#1 Posted by MichaelCarusi (10 posts) -

Let's say, at this instant, a masked assassin broke into your room (or wherever you happen to be using your computer).  Grab the item to the right of you - how well can you defend yourself?
 
An empty Snapple bottle could be of dubious help, assuming it didn't break.

#2 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19377 posts) -

I could wield my laptop charger and use it as a flail.

#3 Posted by HitmanAgent47 (8576 posts) -

I have a screwdriver on my right, so I could use it to stab them in the eyes or the neck.

#4 Posted by AjayRaz (12465 posts) -

that assassin doesn't stand a chance against my NHL 2003 case! 

#5 Posted by ReyGitano (2467 posts) -

I've got these industrial scissors. It's like a Katana in mini-form.

#6 Posted by Azteck (7449 posts) -

.. my iPod? I'm sure there's an app for it somewhere.

#7 Posted by eternitymemory (153 posts) -

My shade-less lamp would make a decent bludgeon, though my first reaction would probably be to chuck my cellphone at him, which is the closest to my right at the moment.

#8 Posted by TheGreatGuero (9130 posts) -

My printer! HI-YAH!

#9 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5381 posts) -

WALLET!!!!

#10 Posted by xMP44x (2193 posts) -

I have a choice. I have a large glass though, which could easily be smashed off my desk to put that bitch.... on ice :P

#11 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

You mean my crown? I don't think a cell-phone with the Reaper's number on it could be as helpful as that.

#12 Posted by Daveyo520 (6930 posts) -

My stainless steel pen is going right through his throat.

#13 Posted by jonnyboy (2920 posts) -

I don't think Tracy would like that. Plus it's not very chivalrous.

#14 Posted by Raymayne (1226 posts) -

I would smash his face in with this Winnie the Pooh mug.

#15 Posted by Scooper (7881 posts) -

I have a rachet set to the right of me filled with lots of bits. It weighs a few pounds. I'd throw it at em.

#16 Posted by InfamousBIG (3219 posts) -

DEATH BY IPHONE

#17 Posted by Lemoncookie01 (1666 posts) -

I have my beds blanket..__. Well,I guess I'm fucked.

#18 Posted by JJWeatherman (14564 posts) -

I'd use this phone to call the police. Then I'd put my secret ninja training to use until the cops show up.

#19 Posted by PS3RG (424 posts) -

Peavey Bandit 112 guitar amp. I'm fucked.

#20 Posted by Mattalorian (594 posts) -

STARCRAFT 2 CD SHURIKEN!

#21 Posted by Creamypies (4088 posts) -

A midwives dictionary?! Fuck...

#22 Posted by blazerx9x (648 posts) -

Uhm, I have a subway sandwhich in my right hand, uuh, taste the power of the marinara and mayonaise!

#23 Posted by GoofyGoober (937 posts) -
@Lemoncookie01: Slumber party? I've got my blankets too lol.
#24 Posted by CastroCasper (1304 posts) -

Empty space!!!

#25 Posted by Meptron (1099 posts) -

Calculator. I'll divide by zero and the assassin will be sucked into the resulting black hole.

#26 Posted by Joeybagad0nutz (1438 posts) -

I got a fork and I'll stab him in the nuts.
#27 Posted by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -

A couch!  
I'll drop it one someone as if it were a piano!   

#28 Edited by supermike6 (3612 posts) -

My DS stylus!  
 
I'd poke it in his eye! Then he'd kill me!

#29 Posted by Driam (167 posts) -

These swedish equivalents of q-tips will be the last thing my enemy sees before I stab him in the face and neck!

#30 Posted by Metric_Outlaw (1172 posts) -

A copy of Into the Wild, I will teach assassin the frailty of life and the importance of self discovery. Then he'll probably stab me.

#31 Edited by BraveToaster (12588 posts) -

A pen and car keys. 
 
I guess I'll hold him while I gouge his eyeballs out. I have no idea how I'm going to explain this to the authorities.

#32 Posted by jim_dandy (891 posts) -

A SPOON.
 
Also there's actually a rifle to the right of me, but I think the spoon would be better.

#33 Posted by Asrahn (552 posts) -

A fork. Would work!

#34 Posted by natetodamax (19217 posts) -

I have an iPod Touch and an empty Diet Coke can next to me, both of which are sitting upon a coffee table. Which to use?

#35 Posted by Wraith1 (572 posts) -

don't know what I  would do with a USB flash drive

#36 Posted by rjayb89 (7728 posts) -

Dwight Schrute.

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

#37 Posted by LibraryDues (343 posts) -

I'd garrote him with my mouse cord.  I owe my life to the decision not to go wireless!

#38 Posted by Make_Me_Mad (3116 posts) -

It'd be kind of tough to take someone out with an empty water bottle, but I think I could manage.

#39 Posted by Djeffers03 (2545 posts) -

Eat ipod speakers bitch!

#40 Posted by DuderBattalion (269 posts) -
@HitmanAgent47 said:
"

I have a screwdriver on my right, so I could use it to stab them in the eyes or the neck.

"
Like uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh ?
Online
#41 Posted by Canberra (1065 posts) -

Boot knife and mouse pad.

#42 Posted by ajamafalous (12129 posts) -
@Lemoncookie01 said:
" I have my beds blanket..__. Well,I guess I'm fucked. "
Me too :(
#43 Posted by CptChiken (1987 posts) -

Blue tac.... well I guess im fucked aren't i? 

#44 Posted by AWhiteSinner (3 posts) -

My computer chair has some weight to it so I'd throw that at him. After that I'd open my computer tool drawer and pull out a screwdriver for some eye gouging.

#45 Posted by DoctorWelch (2774 posts) -

I guess I could strangle him with this T-shirt...

#46 Posted by crusader8463 (14427 posts) -

I prefer this game as the zombie apocalypse starting. Ether way I only have a bunch of pillows, my mouse and my mouse pad.

#47 Posted by Ragdrazi (2283 posts) -

The keyboard of the computer next to me in the computer lab...
 
Unplug it from the back for an easy flail.

#48 Posted by WalkerTR77 (1390 posts) -

I keep a cricket bat and a nice metal pipe beside my bed for exactly this occasion. I have both for variety.

#49 Posted by KillerBears (248 posts) -

Theres only a wall to the right of me...I mean, yeah, If I could pick up the wall I'd be a force to be reckoned with, I guess.

#50 Posted by mrfizzy (1550 posts) -

i have a choice of my computer case, my kobo e-reader or a pen. im going for the pen to the eyes and/or throat.