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#1 Edited by TheSouthernDandy (3805 posts) -

So a crazy racist butthole in West Fresno smashed his car into a road worker because he was black and after pinning him, proceeded to attack a woman because he thought he was Jesus and could do whatever he wanted. The hitch hiker he had picked up earlier however, came to her rescue with a hatchet. After beaning the guy the cops showed up, nobody suffered life threatening injuries and the crazy dudes in custody so all is well.

HOWEVER

There is a reason this story is so great. Below is the unedited interview with the hitch hiker. I think he might be the greatest human being on the planet and has become my personal hero. I give you Kai.

I'm so glad a dude like this exists.

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#2 Edited by Milkman (16541 posts) -

Saw this last night. This guy is my fucking hero. 
 
STRAIGHT OUTTA DOGTOWN SMASH SMASH SUH-MASH

#3 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3805 posts) -

If there's ever a Point Break sequel he needs to be in it.

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#4 Posted by deathstriker666 (1337 posts) -

Holy shit this is fucking hilarious

#5 Posted by punkxblaze (2961 posts) -

This guy has more soul in his asshole than I will ever have in my entire life.

#6 Posted by Oldirtybearon (4609 posts) -

the Based Kai.

#7 Posted by Dezztroy (776 posts) -

I'm confused. You say noone suffered life-threatening injuries, but Kai said in the video that he killed the guy.

#8 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3050 posts) -

What the hell.

#9 Posted by Ghost_Cat (1396 posts) -

"As far as anyone I grew up with is concern, I'm already dead."

WHOA.

#10 Posted by Serpentenema (216 posts) -

@Oldirtybearon said:

the Based Kai.

#11 Edited by MarkWahlberg (4584 posts) -

Kai the kooky fucking Wanderer. At first I was like 'why the fuck did he even get in the dudes car', but after watching the whole thing, it's just like... Dude has been around the block. I mean, that doesn't make it any better of an idea, but I think I get it.

#12 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6389 posts) -

He seems like he'd be a super fun guy to chill with......until you realize his life story may actually be really sad. Regardless, it's nice to see such altruism.

#13 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3805 posts) -

@Dezztroy said:

I'm confused. You say noone suffered life-threatening injuries, but Kai said in the video that he killed the guy.

No the guy is in custody just knocked him out.

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#14 Posted by Vonocourt (2123 posts) -

@Dezztroy said:

I'm confused. You say noone suffered life-threatening injuries, but Kai said in the video that he killed the guy.

Exaggeration, Kai even said the guy got back up and was found by the cops masturbating in front of the school.

Really funny interview, until the end when yeah, this dude's been through some shit.

#15 Posted by Raven10 (1740 posts) -

If this was Facebook I would 'like' this and then 'share' it. Since this isn't I'll just say that was incredible.

#16 Posted by Butano (1728 posts) -

Reporter: "What's next for you Kai?"

Kai: "Hopefully some surfing!"

Straight outta Dogtown indeed!

#17 Posted by Coafi (1481 posts) -

HOLY SHIT! Amazing!

#18 Edited by Animasta (14651 posts) -

oh my god this guy is great

edit; he kinda sounds like J-roc from trailer park boys

#19 Posted by IzzyGraze (850 posts) -

So he hit him with the back of the hatchet? Because a hatchet is just a small axe. It's not a blunt object.

#20 Posted by Animasta (14651 posts) -

@IzzyGraze said:

So he hit him with the back of the hatchet? Because a hatchet is just a small axe. It's not a blunt object.

maybe he meant the blunt side of it?

#21 Posted by Strife777 (1504 posts) -

Saw that yesterday when Rorie tweeted. That guy is awesome.

SMASH, SMASH, SUH-MASH!

#22 Posted by Doctorchimp (4071 posts) -
Bro, if you're fucking Jesus Christ I'll be the Anti-Christ man, fuck that shit.

Someone needs to get this guy a camera so he can start doing speeches.

#23 Posted by MarkWahlberg (4584 posts) -

@Animasta said:

@IzzyGraze said:

So he hit him with the back of the hatchet? Because a hatchet is just a small axe. It's not a blunt object.

maybe he meant the blunt side of it?

Axe blade =/= immediate full penetration of skull. Bone is hard, and even if he broke through, doesn't necessarily mean the guy would be dead/unconscious. Any blow to the head will do serious damage, but glancing blows are fairly likely when you don't have a firm grip on a stationary object.

#24 Posted by Pezen (1567 posts) -

That was pretty great.

#25 Posted by laserbolts (5314 posts) -

Awesome dude.

#26 Posted by Neonie (437 posts) -

This dude is already living in the zombie apocalypse.

#27 Posted by RupertTheBear (179 posts) -

Since Hollywood already made a movie called BadAss featuring Danny Trejo. Holloywood could make a movie about Kai featuring Jason Mewes.

#28 Posted by Osaladin (2515 posts) -

I want this man to be in quick looks.

#29 Edited by Coombs (3449 posts) -

Who the hell got this video from fox news without having all those fucking fucks bleeped?

@RupertTheBear said:

Since Hollywood already made a movie called BadAss featuring Danny Trejo. Holloywood could make a movie about Kai featuring Jason Mewes.

I think it would be a far better movie if they had Kai play the role of Jason Mewes

#30 Posted by DarthOrange (3852 posts) -

Wow.  
 
Just wow.

#31 Posted by StarvingGamer (8033 posts) -

This is significantly better than I expected.

#32 Posted by Sherlock22 (27 posts) -

@Ghost_Cat said:

"As far as anyone I grew up with is concern, I'm already dead."

WHOA.

If anyone else in the world said those words, it wouldve sounded cheesy and stupid as shit, but this dude is so sincere with everything you can tell he means it especially with the face he makes.

Much love Kai you dope SoB

#33 Posted by TruthTellah (8574 posts) -

Man, Patrick is weird on the weekends.

#34 Posted by TopSteer (640 posts) -

I propose a kickstarter to send this man to all the best surfing spots in the world.

#35 Posted by TheHT (10932 posts) -

I wasn't ready for that. That guy's a real life duder.

#36 Posted by XenoNick (1390 posts) -

Kai, straight outta Dogtown!

This guy is amazing!

#37 Posted by Fattony12000 (7098 posts) -

Straight up duder.

#38 Posted by Stonyman65 (2608 posts) -

Only in California!

Anywhere else in the world the hitchhiker would have stolen the everyone's shit and then drive away in the busted car.

#39 Posted by natetodamax (19177 posts) -

My new favorite person.

#40 Posted by ZagZagovich (755 posts) -

I always thought that this kind of guy was a movie invention, exagurated for better effect. But I'm so glad I'm wrong. This is one of those interviews that will be remembered in 20 years. Thanks for sharing. "Straight out of dogtown" never sounded so sincere.

#41 Posted by Humanity (8871 posts) -

That guy is just as much a danger as the crazy guy driving the car.

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#42 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3805 posts) -

@Humanity said:

That guy is just as much a danger as the crazy guy driving the car.

You must have watched a different video cause that doesn't make a lick of sense.

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#43 Posted by SirOptimusPrime (1959 posts) -

Kai, straight outta Dogtown. K-A-I.

Also, I actually want to hear the edited version of this. BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, "Straight outta Dogtown," BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

#44 Edited by believer258 (11682 posts) -

That was fucking golden.

EDIT: Also, this should have faded into the video at some point:

#45 Posted by Humanity (8871 posts) -

@TheSouthernDandy said:

@Humanity said:

That guy is just as much a danger as the crazy guy driving the car.

You must have watched a different video cause that doesn't make a lick of sense.

This kinda out of it hitchhiker sees something fucked up happen and decided the first thing to do is cleave someone in the head with a hatchet? He then mentions how he saw some other guy manhandling some woman and he started pounding on him, knocking out all his teeth? He seems a LITTLE violent doesn't he?

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#46 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3805 posts) -
@Humanity

@TheSouthernDandy said:

@Humanity said:

That guy is just as much a danger as the crazy guy driving the car.

You must have watched a different video cause that doesn't make a lick of sense.

This kinda out of it hitchhiker sees something fucked up happen and decided the first thing to do is cleave someone in the head with a hatchet? He then mentions how he saw some other guy manhandling some woman and he started pounding on him, knocking out all his teeth? He seems a LITTLE violent doesn't he?

He seems like he could be but both the people he went after had it coming. He knows running your car into somebody and attacking people is wrong that automatically puts him head and tails above a dude what thought he was a racist Jesus. Beating the hell out of someone who deserves it is fine by me.
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#47 Posted by Meltac (1999 posts) -

Holy shit, so many great fucking quotes!

SUH-SMASH!

#48 Posted by Dolphin_Butter (1913 posts) -

Sheriff WAY-GIN.

#49 Posted by Video_Game_King (36106 posts) -

Whose hatchet was it?

#50 Edited by ZeForgotten (10397 posts) -

I.. I think he's an awesome person. 
I can't really be sure though because a lot of the stuff he said made no sense to me because I'm not "hip" or "street" or "surfer" enough to give a damn about made-up words that sounded dumb even when the two racist Autobots were saying them. 
 
But, being a good guy is always a plus, so he's a winner!