#1 Posted by Gladiator_Games (529 posts) -

With my girlfriend and her mum! WHATDOIDO?!

#2 Posted by kaos_cracker (933 posts) -

Start singing.

#3 Posted by Demoskinos (16201 posts) -

Yell "THIS IS A STICKUP!" and jump on a table.

#4 Posted by Xolare (1306 posts) -

Poop.

#5 Posted by PeasantAbuse (5094 posts) -

Have sex with the mom.

#6 Posted by NMC2008 (1248 posts) -

Leave.

#7 Posted by Jay_Ray (1203 posts) -

I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON, I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON

#8 Posted by Animasta (14820 posts) -

touch her shoulder.

#9 Posted by Gladiator_Games (529 posts) -

I cant post pics from mobile can I?

#10 Posted by Raven10 (2050 posts) -

Obviously you need to get up there and start singing Hallelujah to your girlfriend to forever cement your love with her.

#11 Posted by oraknabo (1567 posts) -

Enjoy it

#12 Posted by Sackmanjones (5187 posts) -
@PeasantAbuse

Have sex with the mom.

And the girlfriend.
#13 Posted by EchoEcho (840 posts) -

@Animasta said:

touch her shoulder.

Never not good advice.

#14 Posted by believer258 (12695 posts) -

Drink. A lot.

#15 Posted by MiniPato (2807 posts) -

What's a karaoke dive bar? I understand the karaoke and bar part, but where does "dive" come in?

#16 Posted by Gladiator_Games (529 posts) -
@MiniPato

What's a karaoke dive bar? I understand the karaoke and bar part, but where does "dive" come in?

It means it seedy and low quality, the kind someone would "take a dive" out of if a fight broke out. Think Roadhouse! But with an asian bartender...
#17 Posted by HaltIamReptar (2038 posts) -

@MiniPato said:

What's a karaoke dive bar? I understand the karaoke and bar part, but where does "dive" come in?

not sure what the etymology of "dive" is, but a dive bar is a really shitty bar of ill repute

#18 Posted by Piqued_Interest (66 posts) -

Build a house, now you live there.

#19 Posted by Breadfan (6803 posts) -

Start singing some Tom Waits.

#20 Posted by kimchibomb (30 posts) -

Start singing some Nick Cave, or that Q Lazarus song from Silence of the Lambs.

#21 Posted by KittyVonDoom (447 posts) -

@Jay_Ray said:

I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON, I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON

GIRLS THEY WANNA HAVE FUUHUN

#22 Posted by Jams (3043 posts) -

@Breadfan said:

Start singing some Tom Waits.

Especially if you're in a dive bar.

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#23 Posted by TooWalrus (13323 posts) -

I'm pretty sure this is the part where you get on stage and rap "the real slim shady." Take it back.

#24 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (4011 posts) -

Mobilize the Giant Bomb commandos! There's a duder in need!

#25 Posted by Ravenlight (8057 posts) -

Are you still stuck there?

#26 Edited by OmegaChosen (657 posts) -

Get as drunk as possible until the evening turns into a blank. The night was successful if you wake up next to your girlfriend, incredibly successful if you wake up next to the mom.

Seriously though kids: don't drink and dive.

#27 Posted by Gladiator_Games (529 posts) -
@Ravenlight

Are you still stuck there?

Yessir. Someone is strangling a cat into the mic to the tune of "plush"
#28 Posted by Gladiator_Games (529 posts) -
@TheSouthernDandy
Mobilize the Giant Bomb commandos! There's a duder in need!
Ill send the flairs so you can find me! Look for the Gerstmann head in the sky!
#29 Posted by PenguinDoctor (317 posts) -

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

Are you still stuck there?

Yessir. Someone is strangling a cat into the mic to the tune of "plush"

Scott Weiland is there?

#30 Posted by Ravenlight (8057 posts) -

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

Are you still stuck there?

Yessir. Someone is strangling a cat into the mic to the tune of "plush"

Okay, do you have a ride home? If so, get as drunk as you can. If money is tight, just do shots of tequila until you can't feel your face anymore. I recommend you remain sitting while you do this as you will probably fall over if upright.

#31 Posted by Oldirtybearon (5190 posts) -

@Gladiator_Games: Troll the shit out of everyone by singing "I Want a New Drug" lyrics over the Ghostbusters music.

#32 Posted by Bigandtasty (3139 posts) -

Demand that the bar put on X GON GIVE IT TO YA

Alternatively pick Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and sing it like DMX

#33 Edited by Jams (3043 posts) -

@PenguinDoctor said:

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

Are you still stuck there?

Yessir. Someone is strangling a cat into the mic to the tune of "plush"

Scott Weiland is there?

if someone sounds like they're strangling a cat while singing at a dive bar, then you can bet your ass Scott Weiland's there.

#34 Posted by Gladiator_Games (529 posts) -
@Ravenlight

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

Are you still stuck there?

Yessir. Someone is strangling a cat into the mic to the tune of "plush"

Okay, do you have a ride home? If so, get as drunk as you can. If money is tight, just do shots of tequila until you can't feel your face anymore. I recommend you remain sitting while you do this as you will probably fall over if upright.

Feels like a rubber richard nixon mask, as recommended!
#35 Posted by Ravenlight (8057 posts) -

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

Are you still stuck there?

Yessir. Someone is strangling a cat into the mic to the tune of "plush"

Okay, do you have a ride home? If so, get as drunk as you can. If money is tight, just do shots of tequila until you can't feel your face anymore. I recommend you remain sitting while you do this as you will probably fall over if upright.

Feels like a rubber richard nixon mask, as recommended!

Okay, you're most of the way there. Keep drinking until it feels like a Gary Busey mask. Then drink some more until you feel like you are Gary Busey. At that point, you won't care where you are.

#36 Posted by Gladiator_Games (529 posts) -
@Ravenlight

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

Are you still stuck there?

Yessir. Someone is strangling a cat into the mic to the tune of "plush"

Okay, do you have a ride home? If so, get as drunk as you can. If money is tight, just do shots of tequila until you can't feel your face anymore. I recommend you remain sitting while you do this as you will probably fall over if upright.

Feels like a rubber richard nixon mask, as recommended!

Okay, you're most of the way there. Keep drinking until it feels like a Gary Busey mask. Then drink some more until you feel like you are Gary Busey. At that point, you won't care where you are.

Where does Michael Richards fall on that scale?
#37 Posted by RPGee (775 posts) -

Two options.

  1. Move away from the karaoke and to the bar. Drink as much as possible, and the night will be a blur. You'll be fine after that.
  2. Get up to the karaoke, start a competition if there isn't one already, and proceed to belt your heart out to Bon Jovi's 'Shot Through the Heart' or similar and win said competition. You then drop the mic, leap off-stage, sweep that lady off her feet, and apologise to the daughter/mother, whichever catches your eye first.

I don't see how you could possibly end up in a bad position either way. Good luck, sir!

#38 Posted by dancinginfernal (488 posts) -

@PeasantAbuse said:

Have sex with the mom.

#39 Posted by TyCobb (2000 posts) -

Drink you fool!

#40 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3232 posts) -

Sounds like a good excuse for a threesome.

#41 Posted by Nux (2544 posts) -

Don't stop singing!

#42 Posted by Toxin066 (3381 posts) -

Rum + coke + I believe in a thing called love by the Darkness. You got this, duder.

#43 Posted by Ravenlight (8057 posts) -

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

@Gladiator_Games said:

@Ravenlight

Are you still stuck there?

Yessir. Someone is strangling a cat into the mic to the tune of "plush"

Okay, do you have a ride home? If so, get as drunk as you can. If money is tight, just do shots of tequila until you can't feel your face anymore. I recommend you remain sitting while you do this as you will probably fall over if upright.

Feels like a rubber richard nixon mask, as recommended!

Okay, you're most of the way there. Keep drinking until it feels like a Gary Busey mask. Then drink some more until you feel like you are Gary Busey. At that point, you won't care where you are.

Where does Michael Richards fall on that scale?

About a 4/10

#44 Posted by spykereightsix (87 posts) -

I agree with Unless you're already a monstrously good singer, your best bet is to get wasted. I'd go with Under Pressure by Queen.

#45 Posted by Gladiator_Games (529 posts) -

FREEDOM MY FRIENDS! I HAVE SURVIVED! And even managed to take the right woman home!