High School Bullying

Recently I watched the Chronicle, which if you don't know, is a movie about a group of friends that are bestowed with telekinetic powers and it is all shot shaky-cam style a-la Cloverfield. At the center of that movie is the main character Andrew who is an outsider in school, bullied and ostracized by a group of 'tough kids' as well as tormented by his alcoholic father. This situation kind of got me thinking, does that sort of bullying actually still occur in schools? I'm 27 now so I've been roughly out of High School for about 10 years. I attended High School in New York City, in the heart of Queens and it was a large one that was largely overcrowded. I don't recall there ever being any situation where a group of tough kids would publicly give out wedgies to 'nerds' while a circle of students watched and giggled. There certainly were your typical groups of athletic, nerdy, douchey etc kids present. I fell somewhere in that non-nondescript middle and got along with everyone just fine. The fact that my school was so overcrowded maybe contributed to the fact that there wasn't any room for kids to get beat up in the hallways.

So whenever I see movies where you have those tough guys hold a kid down while others play keep away with his backpack or spill drinks on his head - I wonder if thats just movies or does that sort of thing actually happen in schools today?

EDIT: Also to clear up the issue - I specifically meant if people were aware of or experienced the dramatized style of bullying we see in movies I mentioned. I am well aware that certain type of verbal bullying or basic ostracizing will always exist as kids are sometimes more heartless than adults.

Kids still kill themselves because of bullying, so my guess is yes.

In my experience bullying no, being ostracized, yes.

Kids still kill themselves because of bullying, so my guess is yes.

@Humanity: Although I just started working in a Guidance Office as apart of my Master's degree, I can't say I've seen a lot of physical violence when it comes to bullying. I'm not working in a very "tough" high school, though, so that might have something to do with it. When there is violence, it is usually a spat between some kids who are on a physically equal playing field, but bullying of "nerds" hasn't been the media sensationalized version of the act. Nobody, from what I've seen, has been picked on in the bathroom or otherwise physically humiliated inside or outside of school.

What I have seen, however, is the increase in cyber bullying. @TheDudeOfGaming: also wins points for mentioning ostracizing, which also plays a huge role. There have been one or two students in and around my distract that have killed themselves this past school year due to bullying and being ostracized, and cyber bullying has always played a major role. But, again, I'm from and have only worked in very successful, well-off districts.

Bullying in the correct context of singling out individuals etc definitely does happen. Dumb typical American style 'football' players wedgieing the NERDS doesn't happen ever. Not here anyway.

A highschooler in my town killed himself recently due to bullying, so it's still around

Oh, it's definitely happening. I even go to a private school and I see it happen occasionally.

Kids will always be jerks, it's the way of things, I don't know why you'd think it'd go away in a few years of its own accord when it's been like that forever...

@GooieGreen said:

@Humanity: Although I just started working in a Guidance Office as apart of my Master's degree, I can't say I've seen a lot of physical violence when it comes to bullying. I'm not working in a very "tough" high school, though, so that might have something to do with it. When there is violence, it is usually a spat between some kids who are on a physically equal playing field, but bullying of "nerds" hasn't been the media sensationalized version of the act. Nobody, from what I've seen, has been picked on in the bathroom or otherwise physically humiliated inside or outside of school.

What I have seen, however, is the increase in cyber bullying. @TheDudeOfGaming: also wins points for mentioning ostracizing, which also plays a huge role. There have been one or two students in and around my distract that have killed themselves this past school year due to bullying and being ostracized, and cyber bullying has always played a major role. But, again, I'm from and have only worked in very successful, well-off districts.

Well thats interesting - I remember reading an article once about cyber bullying being very hard to combat as it falls outside a school jurisdiction. There was a large case of a girl A dating boy B, sending him naked pictures of herself and then that boy B's female friend who did not like the girl A talked him into sending her the pictures, just so she can see out of curiousity. Well obviously girl C then began circulating the pictures around school with subtitle "slut" etc which led to all sort of authority figures getting involved. In the end both boy B and girl C had charges brough against them and girl A had to move schools.

Also to clear up the issue - I specifically meant if people were aware of or experienced the dramatized style of bullying we see in movies I mentioned. I am well aware that certain type of verbal bullying or basic ostracizing will always exist as kids are sometimes more heartless than adults.

@Humanity: It has been a huge problem for schools to deal with, but it comes down to the fact that these kids are having their lives negatively impacted upon and then coming into our schools. No matter what type of bullying or where it occurs really matters in my mind; in my mind, it is always our problem to deal with.

The media portrayal seems to be more comical and probably a means to approach a topic that no writer has any common sense when it comes to addressing (or how the studio wants it addressed). I'm really interested if anyone else here has been picked on in that fashion before. It might end up coming from some of our older members since there has been a strong shift in awareness toward bullying of that kind, at least in my area.

Yes, it definitely still happens. Most of us who play games are just sheltered away from it because we're upper-middle class white guys who are harder to bully.

Source: I tutor once a week in a middle school and have yet to see a day where some form of physical contact bullying does not surface.

In my school right this minute, there is a lot of basic douchery from a couple of guys who think they're God's gift. They bullying the nerds for being nerds, they get drunk every weekend and think they are the ones living life the right way and that they are allowed to judge who is cool and who is not. There are about 10 of them and the whole group is just a competition to see who can be the biggest ass of them all. I'm glad I'm fairly mature and don't have to get a high from making others feel down.

@ajamafalous said:

@FluxWaveZ said:

Kids still kill themselves because of bullying, so my guess is yes.

Gotta be this. I don't think it's as overt as in the movie examples you noted, but yes, I'd have to imagine it still exists and is a problem. I also think it won't ever not be a problem.

Unfortunately yes.

In my high school, the assholes discovered that there were better things to do with their time then picking on nerds somewhere around junior high.

Ostracism, yes. Physical fights and bullying happens but not to anywhere near that extent; the issue in movies is that it's far easier to relate to someone that's being beaten by the big guy than it is to relate to the ignored kid. Because unless you were that ignored kid, you probably ignored him in high school and would ignore him on movies as well.

@StalkingTurnip said:

In my high school, the assholes discovered that there were better things to do with their time then picking on nerds somewhere around junior high.

This is my experience. In high school, the cool kids fought each other. If you picked on one of the smaller, nerdier kids; no one considered you cool. You were just considered a pussy. Most times someone would stick up for them.

As an unpopular kid in high school you were mostly ignored. It's better than being bullied, but still wasn't fun.

The kind of bullying that typically happens in movies where the little kid is being targeted by huge guys in a circle of cheering people basically never happens, at least not that I've seen. It's usually not as explicit like that.

Um I was bullied! Though tbh if I didn't tell people almost nobody would know about it. So don't think its not happening just because you don't see it. Anw its a shrinking problem and not really something that deserves too much attention. You will save more lives if you spend money on wider roads than anything to do with bullying. Bullying gets alot of the hate of general existentialism state of todays kids and high medication rates, the problem in high schools is that students have lost their sense of purpose, especially male ones.

People make a big deal out of the whole bullying issue. I bullied kids all the time in school and still turned out ok.

I grew up and went to High School in NYC (John Dewey out in Coney Island) as well and i feel like the typical "knock down books in the hall/give swerlies/etc" type of bullying always seemed too exaggerated but assuming it did happen to that extent that it happened in the suburbs and rural areas.  The more typical thing was teasing and a bit of ostracism if a kid was "weird". The general consensus seemed to be that if someone were going to do something to harass you physically that they would do it off school grounds.
 
This whole bullying/suicide epidemic over the past few years has really annoyed me to be completely honest about it and i don't mean in a "bully's are such assholes" kind of way...although they are. 
 
Bullying is not new. It's probably just as old as prostitution and just like prostitution will always be around. Why does it seem like now, kids want to start offing themselves because of bullying? I'm not saying that before 2010 kids might not have done drastic things in response to being bullied (i.e. columbine) but it's literally every night if not every other night that some kid decides to take their own life and it just mind boggles me to the point of pure frustration. 
 
I think technology plays a big part in it. I was just talking to my friend the other day about how there aren't any shows that promote physical fitness and outdoor activities ala 90's Nickelodeon. Now kids are constantly texting and using facebook and shit and it's bad enough that they get ostracized when they're at school but then they get picked on in cyber space where there's really no where to run and it has the potential to spiral out of control to where they could be mocked by the entire internet. 
 
And im aware what i'm about to say might so mean, cold and callus, but the whole thing comes off as incredibly weak to me. Not necessarily the act of wanting to kill themselves but wanting to kill themselves because  they're being bullied. Again bullying has been around forever in various forms and degrees and i wouldn't say it's ever been at epidemic proportions. Maybe that's just the media's efforts in sensationalizing stuff? Nonetheless i want to scream and just be like stand the fuck up for yourself
 
Kids need to be empowered which largely comes from associating with and befriending their peers and having the support of their parents (2 things that technology has a tendency to get in the way of) Log off the damn computer, put the fuckin phone down and physically go talk to someone. And speaking of parents, Parents need to start giving their kids permission to stand up to these bullies if they know their being bullied. Seriously, fuck all that "tell the teacher/just ignore them/it'll get better" bullshit. I'm not saying you should instill in your child that the first option is to fight but if they go through the proper channels such as notifying school officials and nothing changes then they should have your utmost support in knowing that you approve of them standing up for themselves. As i said before, in my experience the general consensus was that physical violence was generally kept off school grounds anyway so what's your kid suppose to do if they get stepped to outside of school? I guarantee that if they wouldn't stand up for themselves outside of school that any form of bullying that go through in school is never going to stop.

hbkdx12

[...] And im aware what i'm about to say might so mean, cold and callus, [...]

Gonna stop you right there. You seem to be under the impression that you are the only one saying this. You aren't. It's the same line of "edgy" bullshit people have been spouting on the internet ever since the 'stop being a bullying asshole' movement took off. I suppose it was a little shocking the first time someone started ranting about how pathetic and weak people who attempt suicide are, but it pretty much pops up in every bullying-related thread now. You are perfectly within your rights to have such a mind-bogglingly obtuse perspective, but the disclaimer of "this may come off as shocking and callous" is no longer necessary. It's pretty much expected now.

Just because you haven't witnessed bullying in your school doesn't necessarily mean that it doesn't happen.

@Voxel said:

The kind of bullying that typically happens in movies where the little kid is being targeted by huge guys in a circle of cheering people basically never happens, at least not that I've seen. It's usually not as explicit like that.

something like that actually happened around here recently. a kid got beaten up surrounded by a bunch of kids who did nothing but cheer and took videos/pictures. he got messed up pretty bad. he has to get a metal plate to replace a bone holding up his eyeball or something like that because it got shattered.. can't seem to find the link anywhere, though. where it happened in Montreal completely slipped my mind.

My school was boring as shit so there was never any bullying there. Everyone just kept to there groups of friends and pretty much everyone else alone. We had some fights every once in a while but that was pretty much it.

@TaliciaDragonsong:

Okay let me be clear: Bullying has proportionately decreased, this is a fact. The only thing that has increased is our awareness of it, its just more okay to talk about it and share it nowadays and when something happens it gets blown out of the water, I believe i posted a Washington post(or some other main news) column confirming this in some other thread like a month ago. Again there's no evidence that bullies are causing the trauma, theres a lot of depression even without bullying taking place. There's a high suicide rate in schools regardless of reported incidents of bullying, bullying is just the scapegoat here.

No. My high school was pleasent by this perspective. Elementary school on the other hand...

@hbkdx12 said:

@Meowshi: Yeah you're right. I'm just used to making the disclaimer because the people i've talked to about this IRL tend to think that i just lack any form of sympathy or empathy. Yes, i can say i've been teased but never to the extent to where i'd classify it as being bullied and i understand how traumatic being bullied can be, that being said, i just don't understand how kids as young as 8 years ago consider suicide to be a feasible option to combat being bullied. My heart just doesn't go out to them

Shit man, that is cold and callous. I try to empathize w/ the mentality these kids feel, having to face their tormentors every day, maybe getting texts and f-book messages from bullies, feeling like there's no way out, nowhere to escape to, and being a hormone bomb teen, it's just too much for them. The new documentary "Bully" chronicles how out of touch school districts are in terms of the problem, so a kid spilling his guts about a tormentor may fall on deaf ears. Or a kid may be scared to rat out a bully, b/c he'll have to see the asshole the next day. Parents can tell their children to stand their ground, or tell a teacher, but the kid has to walk those halls every day, and may not be mature enough to handle the situation. So, yeah, empathy.

As for the OP's question, I went to HS in the early 90s, very typical suburban HS of the kind that's supposed to be ground zero for bullying behavior. I don't remember ever seeing any kind of gang-up mentality where "nerds" were getting shoved into lockers, etc. I was a geeky kid myself and had issues in junior high (verbal harassment, mostly) but by HS things got much better. As someone mentioned upthread, the "cool" kids were fighting among themselves or w/ their douchebag equivalents from other high schools.

That's not to say the issues don't exist today. Just a month or so ago there was a vid of a girl getting jumped by 3 or 4 other girls. You may have seen it, twas all over the news..some dickhead guy taped the incident and put it on YouTube, not bothering to help the girl.

Of course it still exists, but I've never seen it at any of my schools. There are cliques, but I've seriously never seen bullying.

Then again, I do live in the awesome part of the U.S. So my results will be skewed.

@TaliciaDragonsong:

Okay let me be clear: Bullying has proportionately decreased, this is a fact. The only thing that has increased is our awareness of it, its just more okay to talk about it and share it nowadays and when something happens it gets blown out of the water, I believe i posted a Washington post(or some other main news) column confirming this in some other thread like a month ago. Again there's no evidence that bullies are causing the trauma, theres a lot of depression even without bullying taking place. There's a high suicide rate in schools regardless of reported incidents of bullying, bullying is just the scapegoat here.

@Humanity:

Didn't you see that recent video from Australia where those dudes ganged up on that big kid and video taped the smaller of them hitting the big kid? Then the big kid striking back? That was last year and it was all over the internet. I'd say physical violence is alive and well in bullying.

Yes, and it will never stop. Just remember that there's a reason why most of these bullies do what they do, and always remember that life can get better when you're least expecting it, even if it feels like it won't. Going suicidal is not an option and doesn't help anyone.

Direct bullying like beating people up and whats shown in movies isn't as common, at least in the mostly white middle class school I went to, but people will treat you like shit socially if there's something about you they don't like. I've been out of high school for a year now, and while I was in it I routinely saw a couple people get outcast because most of the other students came to the conclusion that these few people were annoying. And once they were labeled as such there was no coming back. Anytime they tried to be friendly and socialize they just got treated like everything they did was wrong and were humiliated in front of everyone watching. I'm ashamed to say that one guy even broke down into tears in front of me and all I did was watch.

I feel like it's exaggerated in films. Bullying as I've seen it is usually more subtle and verbal. That said, physical bullying is definitely still around, but it wasn't the way to do it if you wanted to. Usually, you'd both end up in trouble (the bully and the bullied). Which is fucking stupid, but that's why many bullies in high school were obnoxiously insulting and demeaning instead of rough and violent. Thankfully, I was never bullied.

@Humanity:

That sounds like Hollywood bullying. Actual bullying is much, much worse.

I'm a middle school practicum teacher.  The answer is yes.

There wasn't much at my school in the way of physical antagonism, mostly because it just made you look like a tool. People would talk shit about others behind their back, of course, but the social outcasts were usually just left alone because they weren't worth the effort. I'd say 'the effort of bullying', but too often they would only be loners in the first place because they were hostile or unpleasant in some way to anyone who approached them in a friendly manner. If you were a normal person, nobody would feel any need to go after you, and if you were a weirdo, people usually preferred to just not get involved. From what I've heard, this doesn't hold true in smaller schools where everyone basically has to interact with everyone, and there's way less variety in the student population, so that it becomes much harder for people to do their own thing.

The key exception to this is middle school. Middles school is prison. Tightly controlled, extremely hostile environment that makes everyone involved either a terrible person or miserable, teachers and students alike.

@TaliciaDragonsong:

Okay let me be clear: Bullying has proportionately decreased, this is a fact. The only thing that has increased is our awareness of it, its just more okay to talk about it and share it nowadays and when something happens it gets blown out of the water, I believe i posted a Washington post(or some other main news) column confirming this in some other thread like a month ago. Again there's no evidence that bullies are causing the trauma, theres a lot of depression even without bullying taking place. There's a high suicide rate in schools regardless of reported incidents of bullying, bullying is just the scapegoat here.

@egg said:

People make a big deal out of the whole bullying issue. I bullied kids all the time in school and still turned out ok.

No one gives a fuck about the kid who was bullying, in this case you. You can't speak about the severity of an issue when you were the one doing the damage. I was bullied in high school, but not nearly as bad as some kids. The kids that got it bad had huge issues, one kid in particular had mental breakdowns during school multiple times during HS.

@gamefreak9: Unfortunately, it isn't a shrinking problem. The nature of the game has changed to cyber bullying. One study regarding weight-related bullying found only 23% of targeted students reported the abuse, and only 4% of that population would report subsequent acts against them. Even if we can figure out reliably if the rates are decreasing, one student is too many.

@egg: I know you're probably joking, buuuut... there was a bullying student who killed himself in my area who was also bullied by his classmates.

@Turambar said:

I'm a middle school practicum teacher. The answer is yes.

Good thing I want to work in a middle school. How has the experience been (feel free to PM me about it if you don't want to discuss it in public).

@hbkdx12 said:

Kids need to be empowered which largely comes from associating with and befriending their peers and having the support of their parents (2 things that technology has a tendency to get in the way of) Log off the damn computer, put the fuckin phone down and physically go talk to someone.

Exactly! I mean, it's not like the kids are running away to the computer because they were unable to make friends outside it or anything? Why, wherever would you get such a silly little notion?

@hbkdx12 said:

I'm not saying you should instill in your child that the first option is to fight but if they go through the proper channels such as notifying school officials and nothing changes then they should have your utmost support in knowing that you approve of them standing up for themselves.

Because if there's one figure all kids should aspire to emulate, it's the goddamn Punisher. It's not like the bully will just beat the shit out of them back, or the kid will be interpreted as the aggressor in that situation, making their bullying problems far worse as the school and community will be far less receptive to their legitimate pleas or anything.

@Turambar said:

@gamefreak9 said:

@TaliciaDragonsong:

Okay let me be clear: Bullying has proportionately decreased, this is a fact. The only thing that has increased is our awareness of it, its just more okay to talk about it and share it nowadays and when something happens it gets blown out of the water, I believe i posted a Washington post(or some other main news) column confirming this in some other thread like a month ago. Again there's no evidence that bullies are causing the trauma, theres a lot of depression even without bullying taking place. There's a high suicide rate in schools regardless of reported incidents of bullying, bullying is just the scapegoat here.

Considering bullying has been a practiced historically accepted and even condoned by the teaching staff until relatively recent times, if it hasn't been proportionately decreasing even when we start addressing it as a problem instead of just a "phase kids go through", we have a serious problem on our hands.

"There's a high suicide rate in schools regardless of reported incidents of bullying, bullying is just the scapegoat here." Kids commit suicide because they no longer feel like they have any community they belong to in the world. Bullying isolates them from such a social community in the school space. To say bullying is a scapegoat and not a major contributor is lunacy.

I'm afraid its not lunacy... if you look at schools with high reported bullying and schools with low reported bullying but find no significant difference in suicide rate and still persist that bullying causes suicide your merely being irrational and presumptive. The problem is much bigger than a bunch of kids pushing each other around. It is possible that the reported bullying isn't a good proxy but either way your blaming of bullying is an assumption. And what about causality? could it be that bullies find kids who look suicidal and bully them? Who is to say which way around it happens? I hate this presumption of knowledge, nothing else pisses me off more than people pretending they know.

It's called a pecking order.
 
Go real the lord of the flies and get back to me.

Definitely. Movies have a hard time capturing it, though, due to their very nature. It's not the drinks on the head, the names, or even the fistfights, it's the relentlessness that makes it so terrible.

I was lucky. I had an imposing stature from middle school onward, and I could take it without rewarding them with a reaction, and on the occasions that I did snap, I could fight. It was stupid to do so in hindsight, but it shut some harassers up, and at least I had the option. The worst part was the group homes, where you got it 24/7. (And being group homes, we got the kids too fucked up for public school. Think on that for a second.) Unfortunately, I had to become a bit of an asshole myself just to get through it. I wish I could find the people I blew off steam on and apologize personally. I got addicted to the little bursts of popularity and the sense of revenge after awhile and became a bully myself. Thankfully by the time I reached that point, I was soon to be transferred out (and into a whole other hell, but still not nearly as bad as that year.)

@SSully said:

@egg said:

People make a big deal out of the whole bullying issue. I bullied kids all the time in school and still turned out ok.

No one gives a fuck about the kid who was bullying, in this case you. You can't speak about the severity of an issue when you were the one doing the damage. I was bullied in high school, but not nearly as bad as some kids. The kids that got it bad had huge issues, one kid in particular had mental breakdowns during school multiple times during HS.

I was kidding. And of course bullying is wrong. It's just grating to hear people make it out as a non-issue.

Sometimes when you bully people they are secretly Spider-Man.

@TaliciaDragonsong said:

@gamefreak9: I never thought of suicide before I got bullied like hell in high school. When a group of people works so hard to try and make you believe you're weird, not accepted and shouldn't be there...its the gateway to unconventional thinking. Its the reason why people change their styles, clothes, everything in high school, its the place where our own morals and beliefs start to clash with others and often the group mentality wins. When you feel everyone's out to get you, the school's ignoring you and a lot of other factors that make you feel alienated...it becomes a sick and clear solution. I won't say the bullying itself might be what pushes the people to it, but the lack of understanding from 'grown ups' or the way they tell you you need to toughen up...that's what really hurts, it takes away your last bastion of trust.

I think different solutions work for different kids. Maybe some kids would respond better to "toughen up" and others would respond better to othr solutions. Personally if my kid came to me and said he was being bullied I'd probably use it as an opportunity to bond and that would seem the best option as a parent but I would not know. This isolation your talking about isn't all bad, unconventional thinking to me sounds like a good thing, people like to feel special as well as wanted, its very hard to get the balance right. I personally think being bullied was fun, it added an extra layer to my childhood... I know I had good times with friends but I don't remember them, bullying I do remember much more clearly so in many ways I feel like it was better for me than the good times... especially since the friends are no longer with me, that build up of friendship was just a waste of time to me, at least bullying made me think about myself a little. Hell i'd say the most interesting part of my whole childhood was being bullied... thats really sad... society really needs to become more interesting... this safety we have going on makes everyone existentialist.