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#1 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

Alright, I live in a quad with 3 other roommates. We usually all keep to ourselves and everything usually goes by well. I have one that is a jock (Baseball team) and the others are just normal dudes. Lately we have not been getting along so well due to the amount of rules placed around the dorm. I have been able to live up to those rules lately but there was a problem yesterday. I had a small trash bag laying by the door yesterday, it was there for me to grab in the morning when I go to school and throw it in the nearby trash bin outside. It wasn't meant to bother anyone, just as a reminder to me to make sure I remove this. Now, I was asked by another roommate to keep it in my room because it "Made the dorm look dirty". I didn't understand how it did, there was only papers in it so it didn't have a smell; also, it was a white bag so it didn't come off looking lout of place. Now, I've usually tried cleaning up for thing in my room and in the outside area as well. But this is getting out of hand here, we ended up arguing and I was greeted by my other two roommates who told me it was not my place to place the trash there. I am frustrated now and I don't know what to do. I walked to the bathroom and there was a now asking me to "Put the seat down," we are all males in this dorm room and I thought they would at least look before they sit...

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f246/ari4reel/IMAG0008_zps1b850a2d.jpg

[IMG]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f246/ari4reel/IMAG0008_zps1b850a2d.jpg[/IMG]

Should I be angry?

#2 Posted by Funkydupe (3321 posts) -

Is it a big deal to close the toilet seat? With roommates, you need to make compromises, that's all there is to it. Have an ongoing talk, adapt, co-exist. Humans have been trying that in most civilized areas of the world for quite some time now.

#3 Posted by Ravenlight (8011 posts) -

Maybe if you were less of a filthy animal, there would be less passive-aggressive notes left about.

#4 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@Funkydupe: Your right it isn't a big deal to close the toilet seat; but, last time I forgot to close the toilet seat I was yelled at by a naked male in a bath towl... I'm still scared.

#5 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@Ravenlight: I pay for all of the cleaning supplies and clean all of the mess in the dorm room. I can take pictures of the room to prove that.

#6 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

Pee on the seat and start flushing your garbage.

#7 Posted by Hunter5024 (5962 posts) -

No man tells me how to use a toilet. Declare war! Winner gets whatever is left of the apartment.

Online
#8 Posted by believer258 (12184 posts) -

Find better roommates. Or just close the toilet seat? Can you give more examples of how it's getting out of hand?

#9 Posted by Clonedzero (4196 posts) -

just dont lift the toliet seat anymore, piss all over it. they'll get the point

#10 Posted by SexyToad (2722 posts) -

I guess you just have to deal with it. There's really not much else you can do. if you can't move out then I guess you're "stuck" there

#11 Edited by Napalm (9020 posts) -

You sound a ton like my roommate, who frequently has no consideration for anybody but himself. Yes, the trash by the door does bug some people. Personally, living with one other person is the only way to do it. If you get more than that, then you get too much clashing. Also, keep in mind: complaints "stack". When you fuck up or do something once, the next time you do something, they're probably doubly angry about it. The previous thing you did rarely just passes.

#12 Posted by OmegaChosen (647 posts) -

Don't see why you couldn't keep the bag in your room if you just needed a reminder to throw it out. Also, doesn't matter if it's a room of guys or not, a lot of us have just gotten into the habit of making sure the seat is down. It's not like it's a major hassle or anything. Getting mad about it, that is these two little things, just seems like it would be kind of petulant.

I'm assuming there's more asinine things they're request around the dorm if you think it's getting out of hand?

#13 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@believer258: Usually, I pay for the supplies in the room. Vacuum cleaner, toilet paper, dish-washing detergent, dish-washing soap, air freshener, garbage bags. I've seen one roommate wash the floors maybe twice with the pine sol I purchased. When my roommate told me I was to loud, I moved my computer away from the side of the wall he is on and removed my speakers. I think the only thing that makes noise in my room is the fan and I use it to sleep because I need it t circulate my breathing (Which I was told to remove but rejected).

#14 Posted by Funkydupe (3321 posts) -

@believer258: Basically this.

You're really close on someone else, living in the same living space, some people just want to emulate their home surroundings and to them you, being their roommate, is a chaos factor. Some personalities differ in this regard of course, some people are really picky about their surroundings especially where they live. Still. These guys have to cut you some slack as well, just as you're changing your ways for them, they have to meet you somewhere halfway too. That's why you need to agree on stuff through talking it out, and not have these sporadic encounters, and promise each other not to cause an embarrassing scene just because someone forgets to clean something once in a while.

Usually before moving in somewhere you should probe their personality for this stuff so that you don't end up with someone you're totally incompatible with.

#15 Edited by StrainedEyes (1331 posts) -

If the garbage bin is so close, you couldn't just walk outside and throw it out the night before? You all live there, deal with it. They really are not asking much.

#16 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@Napalm: Alright, how about if the room remain at a constant 50 degree temperature and it is 44 degrees outside? I put a heater in my room just so that I wouldn't bother them. If there was a problem I would try to fix it, I even told them ahead of time that if my music was too loud to let me know and I would put in headphones.

#17 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@Funkydupe: Yes, thank you i honestly try not to cause problems because I am usually a quiet and shy person and try not to bother people.

#18 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3085 posts) -

Their concerns sound reasonable.

#19 Posted by psylah (2185 posts) -

Don't leave your garbage in the hallway, I don't care how fuckin' pretty you think it is.

And put the goddamn toilet seat down.

#20 Edited by living4theday258 (679 posts) -

@Video_Game_King said:

Pee on the seat and start flushing your garbage.

best reply yet.

all joking aside your room mates sound like people who expect you to keep the place clean and pay for all the stuff. solution!

1. stop buying the cleaning supplies.

2.leave the toilet seat up (if it isn't a big deal for you its not a big deal for them.)

3. put your trash with the stuff you take with you if it doesn't smell then there's no problem with that..

4. profit ( you really do profit because you aren't buying the cleaning supplies.)

#21 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@living4theday258 said:

2.leave the toilet seat up(if it isnt a big deal for you its not a big deal for them.)

That's shaky logic.

#22 Posted by living4theday258 (679 posts) -

@Video_Game_King said:

@living4theday258 said:

2.leave the toilet seat up(if it isnt a big deal for you its not a big deal for them.)

That's shaky logic.

I know

#23 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -

@GiantAlston said:

@Napalm: Alright, how about if the room remain at a constant 50 degree temperature and it is 44 degrees outside? I put a heater in my room just so that I wouldn't bother them. If there was a problem I would try to fix it, I even told them ahead of time that if my music was too loud to let me know and I would put in headphones.

Listen to @Funkydupe. He speaks pure knowledge. Some people just have terrible habits that they can't break out of, or don't know about, etc. For me, I was raised to be clean, to clean up after yourself and to take care of your home. So to me, anybody who isn't concerned with this is a total chaos factor and I can't deal with it. Luckily, my roommate is quick to pick up after himself or fix whatever the issue is, (unless it's ants in the sink from a food-riddled spoon he left in there and he's at work [I currently work at home] in which I'll just go ahead and do it). So I don't know what to tell you.

#24 Posted by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

@psylah said:

Don't leave your garbage in the hallway, I don't care how fuckin' pretty you think it is.

And put the goddamn toilet seat down.

This. It seems pretty straightforward and not worth arguing about. I like people putting the seat down too, and I'm a guy. Nasty particles fly everywhere when you flush, including on toothbrushes

#25 Posted by believer258 (12184 posts) -

@living4theday258 said:

@Video_Game_King said:

Pee on the seat and start flushing your garbage.

best reply yet.

all joking aside your room mates sound like people who expect you to keep the place clean and pay for all the stuff. solution!

1. stop buying the cleaning supplies.

2.leave the toilet seat up(if it isnt a big deal for you its not a big deal for them.)

3. tell them they're welcome to take the trash out themselves if it bothers them that much.you do take it out in the morning right? so whats the issue.

4. profit ( you really do profit because you aren't buying the cleaning supplies.)

This is a great way for three other guys to kick you out.

@Funkydupe said:

@believer258: Basically this.

You're really close on someone else, living in the same living space, some people just want to emulate their home surroundings and to them you, being their roommate, is a chaos factor. Some personalities differ in this regard of course, some people are really picky about their surroundings especially where they live. Still. These guys have to cut you some slack as well, just as you're changing your ways for them, they have to meet you somewhere halfway too. That's why you need to agree on stuff through talking it out, and not have these sporadic encounters, and promise each other not to cause an embarrassing scene just because someone forgets to clean something once in a while.

Usually before moving in somewhere you should probe their personality for this stuff so that you don't end up with someone you're totally incompatible with.

I got that, I was just looking for more examples of "incompatibility", which:

@GiantAlston said:

@believer258: Usually, I pay for the supplies in the room. Vacuum cleaner, toilet paper, dish-washing detergent, dish-washing soap, air freshener, garbage bags. I've seen one roommate wash the floors maybe twice with the pine sol I purchased. When my roommate told me I was to loud, I moved my computer away from the side of the wall he is on and removed my speakers. I think the only thing that makes noise in my room is the fan and I use it to sleep because I need it t circulate my breathing (Which I was told to remove but rejected).

I got, and the answer is: Talk to them. If, say, a month from now nothing has changed, then start really looking for another place to live. They might realize that "yo, this dude's paying for and cleaning up our living space, we shouldn't let him go." If they can't realize that then they probably won't and it really is time to go. Whatever you do, draw a line where you stop being submissive and you start telling them that they need to do something. With as little yelling and anger as possible, yelling and anger only makes anything worse.

#26 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

While their concerns seem a little petty, I'd usually say go for it to maintain harmony...

...But they sound like they have approached the situation as demanding, precious little dickheads, so I instead say you do what they ask while informing them that you will be instituting a roster of who cleans what when (make it REALLY elaborate) and that the purchase of all cleaning supplies will be agreed to be purchased equally from now on.

Do all this with a smile on your face.

#27 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

One second i will create some videos on my phone to display.

#28 Posted by mosespippy (4441 posts) -

@GiantAlston: I got into the habit of always putting the seat down because flushing can launch bacteria up to 5 meters into the air. Close the lid and instead of covering the entire room in bacteria you only cover the inside of the lid with it. Since I flush every time I also close the lid every time. As for how to deal with your roommates; throw that note in the trash and move on. Keep your lifestyle the way it is for the most part and try not to fuck up other peoples shit.

#29 Posted by Gamer_152 (14109 posts) -

Unfortunately enforcing rules can be both important and necessary when cohabiting with other people, you sometimes need a system to stop people making life harder for everyone else, and when you start to let those rules slip for one person then logically you have to let them slip for all people, and then it's very easy for them to slip a little bit more and a little bit more, until you have a real problem on your hands. Of course that doesn't mean there can't be compromise now and then if everyone seems like they're doing their part, and it would be nice if compromise came from their side first, but is it really that hard to just keep the rubbish bag in your room or put down the toilet seat? These don't seem like the kind of things that should be a big deal to me and if you can all abide by the rules, you're going to have a better time living with these other people.

Moderator
#30 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@psylah: hallway? It not in the hallway it by the door. They have a meijers shopping cart in the closet where my coats are and it's taking up all of the space.

#31 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

i have two videos and the other is rendering

#32 Posted by MikkaQ (10344 posts) -

Just get equally picky about your rules and wage a war of passive aggression.

#33 Posted by casper_ (908 posts) -

these people are obvious fascists. its an infringement of your humans rights for them to ask you to be tidy and not fuck up common areas.

fight the power.

#34 Edited by Napalm (9020 posts) -

@GiantAlston said:

@psylah: hallway? It not in the hallway it by the door. They have a meijers shopping cart in the closet where my coats are and it's taking up all of the space.

Why are all of your coats in a shopping cart in a hallway closet?

It sounds like you're outwardly lazy, honestly. You may be quiet, but what you're probably doing is throwing a big fucking wrench into the system while being completely oblivious to what you're doing. Examine the space that is not directly in your room, and that you haven't (or can't) parse between you and your roommates and see how much stuff is yours, whether you use it or not. I mean everything. Cleaning supplies, furniture, other shit laying around, dishes you leave, etc. This shit matters.

#35 Posted by KarlPilkington (2778 posts) -

@GiantAlston: You use white Giant Bomb? I now agree with your housemates.

#36 Posted by Bocam (3822 posts) -

Put the fucking seat down. Don't be fucking gross.

#37 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@KarlPilkington: What are you talking about?

#38 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

This is the second video

#39 Posted by Clonedzero (4196 posts) -

i leave the toilet seat up.

why? cus it makes more sense logically. why should i always have to lift it if i gotta pee? lift it and put it down? seems a bit much ya? while someone who needs to sit just needs to put it down and can leave it there. also, if i leave it up and another standing user needs to use it,t hey dont have to touch the seat at all. less seat movement required if everyone just worries about it themselves and doesn't try and enforce a "put it down" or "leave it up" mentality. so fuck toilet seat nazis

#40 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@Napalm: it's four coats in the closet, they are on the right side and there is only one other roommate using the room. The shopping cart is something one of my roommates grabbed from out of the trash room down the hall.

#41 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -

@GiantAlston said:

This is the second video

You should be lucky that you live with three people who are spic'n span clean as fuck. That is really unlikely, and it isn't something you should take for granted. Regardless, you should all have a sit down or talk if this is some huge problem. And for God's sake, put the toilet seat down.

#42 Posted by Philedius (204 posts) -

Toilets are supposed to be closed when not in use, that's why they have lids on them.

#43 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@Philedius: Stewie says different.

#44 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@Napalm: Thank you i am happy they are clean. But, I am usually the one cleaning :P

#45 Posted by OmegaChosen (647 posts) -

Duder, what is the problem? Are you looking for reassurance or advice? Are you complaining about their demands or asking if you're right to be mad? Do they have outrageous expectations or not doing their fair share? Are you doing all the work or something? Are you expected to keep to a higher standard that the others are not beholden to?

What is it you are asking of us?

#46 Edited by Chop (1998 posts) -

There has to be more to this story. Those guys sound like the most insane, up tight people in the world. I don't even see how they function in the outside world.

#47 Posted by Aetheldod (3723 posts) -

Well I agree with them with the trash bag ... no matter how clean it is or it is thrash of God himself , that aint no place for it never .... about the other stuff well I guess they are just being dicks , it a fuckin toilet you mpull down the seat lazy moffos

#48 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@mosespippy: Hmm, interesting, I will make sure the seat is down. They are concern with the lid being put down, just the seat. and also they leave the light open and the door closed. I wish I could tell you all the times I had to go to the first floor of the building and use the restroom because I thought someone was on the toilet.

#49 Posted by GiantAlston (93 posts) -

@OmegaChosen: a little of both I want to make sure that everyone has the full story. So, far i'm defending myself but I am about to change that with the next reply so that it's equal on both sides.

#50 Posted by Pinworm45 (4088 posts) -

The fact that so many people actually give a fuck about putting the toilet seat down gives me so much pleasure, given that I never do. Sometimes when I take a shit, I even put the seat UP, because fuck you. I'm literally not even kidding, I do it so I can piss faster later. I never put that shit down.