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#1 Edited by AcidBrandon18 (704 posts) -

I honestly have no idea so I was wondering if you duders could help me out. All of the women that I have been involved with have occurred due to random matters of happenstance where they have basically (thrown their vaginas at me)<--- figure of speech, meaning that women wanted to have sex with me and nothing more. It is also meant to be a joke as the women I have been involved with have been kind of whoreish. Whenever I tell my firends, both male and female, they get a kick out of the idea of a women throwing their vagina at me. Sorry if I offended anyone, probably shouldn't have put that bit in there. My longest relationship has been 3 weeks and that was back in highschool. Everything after that have been flings that were brought on by women who were very open about wanting me. I am very reserved when it comes to talking and interacting with women. So much so that I almost never make the first move unless I have thought long and hard about it. I try to be a gentlemen as much as possible and try to avoid being one of those many jerk horndogs that are out there. I'm 22, in college, sleep on a bunk bed, and live with my mother. Any advice would be appreciated even though a majority of the feedback will probably just come down to me just needing to talk to more people and to get out more.

#2 Posted by Vuud (1943 posts) -

Stop asking the internet for one.

#3 Edited by hippocrit (237 posts) -

Other than finding an apartment with some college bros, it sounds like you know what you have to do already. It's the doing that's hard. You can be assertive about your feelings and be a gentleman at the same time.

Online
#4 Posted by Video_Game_King (36107 posts) -

they have basically thrown their vaginas at me.

Stop this. Stop all of this.

Online
#5 Posted by crithon (3081 posts) -

it happens when it happens, just keep it cool man. What's worse is if you get into a relationship with someone who's horrible and she treats you like shit. I've got like 4 or 5 friends who's are afraid of their wives. They went so far into just settling with the first one they got they are into just weird situations where it ranges from abuse to actually one friend who's driving his wife to date another guy.

It can get bad, like really bad.

just keep cool, and try aiming for the good ones. The sane girls who seem to have things in order.

#6 Edited by IrrelevantJohn (1032 posts) -

Man, I don't even know what to say about some of the things you wrote up there...

When college is over then you should start worrying.

Online
#7 Edited by wjb (1645 posts) -

You pretty much know what you need to do. Manic Pixie Dream Girl is not going to come into your life and show you the wonders of the world. 99% of my relationships have happened because I made the first move.

This is trite, but be yourself. Don't think too hard about it. Once I stopped worrying, things got better. I became more confident once I was more independent in my behavior.

Obviously be a nice, decent human being, but don't obsess about being the "gentleman" all the time. It's great when the time is right, but people tend to be more comfortable when you aren't trying to impress every single moment.

Oh, and "throwing their vaginas" doesn't help matters.

#8 Posted by TheHT (10933 posts) -
#9 Posted by crithon (3081 posts) -

@wjb said:

You pretty much know what you need to do. Manic Pixie Dream Girl is not going to come into your life and show you the wonders of the world. 99% of my relationships have happened because I made the first move.

This is trite, but be yourself. Don't think too hard about it. Once I stopped worrying, things got better. I became more confident once I was more independent in my behavior.

Obviously be a nice, decent human being, but don't obsess about being the "gentleman" all the time. It's great when the time is right, but people tend to be more comfortable if you aren't trying to impress every single moment.

Oh, and "throwing their vaginas" doesn't help matters.

this is the best advice.

#10 Posted by fatalbanana (178 posts) -

Sure that's a great start but mainly it all comes down to being yourself. Even if you aren't as socially open with girls than other people are as long as your not a douche bag someone is bound to go for you. There is truly someone for everyone so if your into someone and your shy or just not great socially be as subtle as you need to be but try to make that person see you for what you are and if there into that great if not shake it off and move on. The most important thing is to never doubt yourself. If someone isn't into you don't take offense to it or be down on yourself about it. Confidence is also good but not everybody has confidence so just work with what you got. Lastly, don't build it up too much in your head at the end of the day people are people. No ones better than anyone were all here doing the same shit for the same reasons to just try to make it. So don't hold a girl in a higher regard other than being a person just like you. If that makes any since.

Also, women love beards.

#11 Posted by ThunderSlash (1574 posts) -

Obligatory

#13 Posted by Hunter5024 (5555 posts) -

You know how you make friends with dudes? Do that with girls, but ask them out at some point. Timing isn't as important as it seems, just do it. If you're having trouble getting past the fling stage, then probably don't sleep with them right away? Idk, I've never had a girl throw her vagina at me before. Honestly that doesn't sound pleasant.

#14 Edited by DeadpanCakes (818 posts) -

As long as you're being honest with yourself when you interact with others -- women or otherwise -- then there's not much more you can do to help advance your relationships. But being honest with yourself is something that can always be improved on. It means doing what you feel you should do, when you feel you should do it, and saying what you feel you should say, when you need to say it. It's not about being a gentleman or being an opportunistic jerk. Just be yourself and figure out what you need or want, and that's pretty much all you can do if you want a meaningful relationship. I'm gonna say what I always say when I see threads about duders asking for relationship advice: There's only so much a random guy on the internet can say that'll actually change anything. There's no secret to it. There's no subtle formalities. It's your responsibility. It's up to you. And I hope that doesn't sound too stressful, because it shouldn't. You have the right and what it takes to have a meaningful relationship.

Just be you. Just let people know that you're you. The rest will happen however it happens.

That being said, it's fine to be anxious about it, or to feel like you're in over your head. It's natural, for the most part. Just try not to let it affect your life. It seems like you're stressed 'cause you're afraid that when you do happen upon a meaningful relationship, your lack of experience might affect that. It won't.

On an ending note, I hafta concur with everyone's response to your "vaginas thrown" comment. It was somewhat off-putting, for multiple reasons. Even for a reason as simple as, believing people view you a sexual object fucks with your self-esteem. It belittles both you and the other party. Nothing good really comes from that.

Anyway, good luck, I'm sure you'll figure shit out.

P.S. I was gonna post the Giant Bomb dating line picture, but I had a really long post, so somebody else better do that.

P.P.S. Cool, looks like somebody posted it while I was in the middle of writing, haha.

#15 Posted by Animasta (14651 posts) -

maybe you should stop dating women who have detachable vaginas.

#16 Edited by Random45 (1065 posts) -

Obligatory

Thank you, I was looking for this.

#17 Edited by ArbitraryWater (11498 posts) -

Well, someone's already posted that picture, so my ability to contribute to this thread is at an end. Touch her shoulder.

#18 Posted by chiablo (909 posts) -

I'm 22

Patience, boy. The absolute best thing you can do is hang out with friends. If you're looking for long-term, satisfying relationships, then your friends are what will supply it. If you're just looking for "love", then there's OKCupid or any other random dating site.

#19 Edited by MariachiMacabre (7056 posts) -
#20 Edited by supamon (1333 posts) -

Well, someone's already posted that picture, so my ability to contribute to this thread is at an end. Touch her shoulder.

Fake your death.

#21 Posted by afabs515 (1015 posts) -
#22 Posted by Freshbandito (660 posts) -

@random45 said:

@thunderslash said:

Obligatory

Thank you, I was looking for this.

I too only checked the thread to see when this would be posted.

#23 Edited by AlexanderSheen (4932 posts) -
#24 Posted by GnomeonFire (700 posts) -

#25 Edited by Soapy86 (2620 posts) -
#26 Edited by Vonocourt (2123 posts) -

@animasta said:

maybe you should stop dating women who have detachable vaginas.

Perfect.

I'm confused here, you are shy and have trouble making the first move. But girls are throwing themselves at you, they're doing the initiating. Why are you not trying to ride it out?

#27 Edited by Bollard (5302 posts) -
#28 Posted by Oldirtybearon (4609 posts) -

@acidbrandon18: Are you looking for a relationship or someone who is just DTF? In any event, get a dating profile on your dating site of choice. There's no stigma to it these days since it's a great way to weed out undesirable douchebags. You also don't need to pretend to be interested in the girl's friend just to be polite. Bars are a last resort, and if you do take that route, grab a wingman. Not so much for making moves as much as someone to help with the crushing disappointment when that one girl you worked up the nerve to talk to blows you off. It's a lot easier to go back to your corner with your cornerman than stand there like a dipshit who doesn't know what to do next.

If you don't have any friends then definitely do the dating profile. Much less awkward.

#29 Posted by billymagnum (737 posts) -

@acidbrandon18 said:

I'm 22, in college, sleep on a bunk bed, and live with my mother

try being able to offer a worthwhile girl something a bit more appealing? you better have one hell of a talent or personality if thats all you have going for you atm

#30 Posted by Baillie (4040 posts) -

Ugh, it's quite clear there's an obvious problem and you summed it up pretty nicely and quickly. Throwing their vaginas at you, seriously? That quote alone makes me weary about the idea you can even respect a girl enough for her to feel appreciated. I'd say stop expecting another one of these vagina throwers to stay more than a week or you make more of an effort for the girl. I don't know. Confidence, presentability, respect and an effort on your part I guess are some fundamentals.

#31 Posted by familyphotoshoot (653 posts) -

>tfw no gf

#32 Edited by Fattony12000 (7098 posts) -
spring break spring breeeeeeeeeak fooooooreeeeeeeevvvvveeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr

#33 Posted by Jimbo (9776 posts) -

Be richer than the guy stood next to you.

#34 Edited by pyromagnestir (4253 posts) -

@video_game_king said:

@acidbrandon18 said:

they have basically thrown their vaginas at me.

Stop this. Stop all of this.

Whoa, whoa, wait a second it sounds like I'm the one who should be asking this guy? I've certainly never had a woman throw her vagina at me. Seems aggressive but I probably wouldn't mind. Though I suck at catching so she's really just be better off handing it to me.

#35 Edited by Milkman (16541 posts) -

*walks outside*

*gets pelted by 20 vaginas*

#36 Posted by troll93 (386 posts) -

#37 Edited by awesomeusername (4154 posts) -

They're throwing their... Vaginas at you? I don't think those are girls man.

But if you want one that bad, just ask a girl who throws her vagina at you if she wants to get coffee or go to dinner some time. With her vagina of course. Or fake vagina. Idk man.

#38 Posted by dudeglove (7688 posts) -

#39 Posted by Stete (725 posts) -

okcupid.com. Godspeed young man.

#40 Posted by Winternet (8008 posts) -

I want vaginas to be thrown at me too.

#41 Edited by LiquidPrince (15856 posts) -

@acidbrandon18 said:

they have basically thrown their vaginas at me.

Stop this. Stop all of this.

Or keep letting it happen. Both will probably end up doing something.

#42 Edited by ArtelinaRose (1846 posts) -

i think you should stop considering a girlfriend something you need out of obligation or expectation you are only 22 and there is plenty of time for that stuff to happen

you should also probably stop thinking there is some checklist or something you need to go down before women will just grovel at your feet for a chance to be with you like they have no agency or will of their own

Date someone that you find super interesting and have fun being with, someone that makes you feel like a complete human being when you are around them. Don't force it. Obviously the key is to meet new people, but I think you're just setting yourself up for failure and misery with the goal of getting a girlfriend from the gate. I don't think that should ever be the end goal. You're just disrespecting the shit out of people(and dehumanizing them to a point!) when you want to know them for the sole purpose of fucking them and/or hooking up.

#43 Edited by Darji (5294 posts) -

@acidbrandon18 said:

I honestly have no idea so I was wondering if you duders could help me out. All of the women that I have been involved with have occurred due to random matters of happenstance where they have basically thrown their vaginas at me. My longest relationship has been 3 weeks and that was back in highschool. Everything after that have been flings that were brought on by women who were very open about wanting me. I am very reserved when it comes to talking and interacting with women. So much so that I almost never make the first move unless I have thought long and hard about it. I try to be a gentlemen as much as possible and try to avoid being one of those many jerk horndogs that are out there. I'm 22, in college, sleep on a bunk bed, and live with my mother. Any advice would be appreciated even though a majority of the feedback will probably just come down to me just needing to talk to more people and to get out more.

Have you tried this?

But seriously.

You need to be more aggressive If you are just the gentlemen you will end up as best male friend no matter what you do. If you meet someone who you are interested in do not try and play the friend card first. Tell her straight that you are interested in her. Otherwise it will just end horrible. Trust me on this. Also I do not think that since you are in College the fact that you do not have an own apartment matters that much. Yes for some it does but not for people who understand how poor you can be as a student^^

#44 Edited by TheManWithNoPlan (5272 posts) -

Touch a girl's shoulder, and you got her.

#45 Posted by Humanity (8871 posts) -

I wonder if he had written "thrown themselves at me" would the thread be equally as devoid of any meaningful content?

Although asking about girl advice on a site where many people devote insane amounts of time to video games is often fun in of itself.

#46 Edited by TobbRobb (4581 posts) -

Talk to women. Make it clear you want to go out.

Profit.

Listen to this for more flawless advice like that.

#47 Posted by Flappy (2143 posts) -

They throw their vaginas at you?

Airborne Vagina -> Vagina Frisbee -> Flying Power Disc -> Windjammers

You know what you must do.

On a more serious note, don't think too much and just be yourself. If chicks are pelting you with their wazoo, there's gotta be something that they like, yeah? Use that to your advantage and find a PYT to have good times with.

#48 Posted by SharkEthic (1010 posts) -

Listen to this man:

i think you should stop considering a girlfriend something you need out of obligation or expectation you are only 22 and there is plenty of time for that stuff to happen

you should also probably stop thinking there is some checklist or something you need to go down before women will just grovel at your feet for a chance to be with you like they have no agency or will of their own

Date someone that you find super interesting and have fun being with, someone that makes you feel like a complete human being when you are around them. Don't force it. Obviously the key is to meet new people, but I think you're just setting yourself up for failure and misery with the goal of getting a girlfriend from the gate. I don't think that should ever be the end goal. You're just disrespecting the shit out of people(and dehumanizing them to a point!) when you want to know them for the sole purpose of fucking them and/or hooking up.

/thread

#49 Posted by Guesty_01 (339 posts) -

Look mate, ignore everybody that's having a go about the whole vigina thing. If pussy gets thrown your way, lad, you nail it and don't look back. Balls to everybody else.

#50 Posted by Scroll (593 posts) -