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Edited 7 months, 5 days ago

Poll: How do you eat a chocolate bar? (265 votes)

I break off the pre cut pieces and eat them one by one 66%
I take bites out of the bar regardless of the pre cut pieces 34%
#1 Posted by UitDeToekomst (708 posts) -

you're talking about something like a Hershey's bar where it is segmented I assume. on occasions that i eat a candy bar, I tend to eat things like Snickers and Milky Way that are just a plain old bar. Those I cut into portions with a knife and eat with a fork (i am not a savage, dammit). I can't remember the last time i ate a chocolate bar that came pre-segmented. sorry, can't vote here, i guess.

#2 Edited by Coafi (1483 posts) -

I just... bite it. Is that not normal?

#3 Posted by CynicalBuzzard (240 posts) -

I break off the precut pieces.

#4 Posted by Zeik (2343 posts) -

you're talking about something like a Hershey's bar where it is segmented I assume. on occasions that i eat a candy bar, I tend to eat things like Snickers and Milky Way that are just a plain old bar. Those I cut into portions with a knife and eat with a fork (i am not a savage, dammit).

No, but you are insane.

#5 Posted by TobbRobb (4589 posts) -

I break off a row along the lines and then eat it like a breadstick, disregarding lines when biting.

#6 Posted by ripelivejam (3743 posts) -

i bite into it wrapper and all and die from the artificial ink poisioning :)

#7 Posted by Hunter5024 (5601 posts) -

The first one, but most of the candy bars I eat are not segmented as such.

#8 Posted by Hamst3r (4479 posts) -

I rub the chocolate bar on my body and absorb it through my skin.

#9 Posted by UitDeToekomst (708 posts) -

@zeik said:

@uitdetoekomst said:

you're talking about something like a Hershey's bar where it is segmented I assume. on occasions that i eat a candy bar, I tend to eat things like Snickers and Milky Way that are just a plain old bar. Those I cut into portions with a knife and eat with a fork (i am not a savage, dammit).

No, but you are insane.

i must admit... i can't sue you for slander.

#10 Posted by Soapy86 (2620 posts) -

With a fork and knife.

You fucking savages.

#11 Edited by ch3burashka (5037 posts) -

1) Detach jaw like cobra snake

2) Insert full bar into throat

3) Swallow

EDIT: Someone mentioned Snickers which reminds me of my strategy: freeze Snickers bars, cut them with a knife, have delectable hard nougats. It's awesome.

#12 Edited by Somnus (81 posts) -

With my butt.

#13 Edited by EdgeKasey (130 posts) -

Melt in the microwave and eat it like pudding.

You all do this right?

.........riiiiight??

#14 Edited by SirOptimusPrime (1992 posts) -

Someone mentioned Snickers which reminds me of my strategy: freeze Snickers bars, cut them with a knife, have delectable hard nougats. It's awesome.

This is truly the only answer. Also, I'm a monster apparently because when I have a Hershey's I don't give a fuck about how the man wants me to eat my chocolate.

#15 Posted by TechHits (1377 posts) -

erotically

#16 Posted by Sterling (2147 posts) -

Name as many candy bars as you can that are pre cut. I'll start.

  • Hershey's
  • Caramello

That is all I know. Are there any more? And would Kit Kats count for this? Are those considered bars?

Man, candy is so confusing.

#17 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

I melt it down and make it into delicious confections.

#18 Posted by Lego_My_Eggo (1026 posts) -

Grind it down and snort it with a $100 dollar bill.

#19 Posted by mosespippy (4106 posts) -

I just bite into it. I'm typically driving down a highway at the time so I don't exactly have a hand available to break off a piece.

#20 Edited by Gantrathor (204 posts) -

I will break off the pre cut pieces if I'm sharing it with someone, but if it's just me eating it, I will disregard the pre cut pieces and eat it like anything else.

#21 Edited by Canteu (2821 posts) -

I stick it in and break it off. If I get chocolate I tend to get a large slab not just a shitty bar.

Also I have English chocolate, none of this waxy American horse shit.

I tried some Hersheys the other day. How do you people live with that garbage?

#22 Posted by Emperor_Norton (42 posts) -

With great shame and intense self-loathing.

#23 Posted by TruthTellah (8724 posts) -

What am I, a beast?

Of course I'll rip off individual sections and then eat off pieces of that. Just biting into it regardless of how it is divided is utter madness.

#24 Posted by HatKing (5876 posts) -

Depends on my mood. Sometimes I just want to shove it in my face as hard and quickly as possible. This doesn't allow for the dainty removal of individual pre-cut segments like I'm some toddler having a fucking tea party. FUCK YOUR LITTLE FINGER. I jam that shit fist first down my throat. Knuckles hitting teeth is collateral damage. Blood enhances flavor.

#25 Posted by Pr1mus (3858 posts) -

Sometimes i will eat an Aero without breaking off individual pieces. It feels pretty great.

#26 Posted by Vampir (134 posts) -

@canteu said:

I tried some Hersheys the other day. How do you people live with that garbage?

They start feeding it to us as children and don't tell us there're other options. I grew up thinking I just didn't like chocolate bars.

#27 Posted by Dalai (7017 posts) -

I leave the bone in.

#28 Posted by Demoskinos (14733 posts) -

What is this Fork and Knife nonsense?

#29 Posted by Flacracker (1643 posts) -

I take a tiny little nibble like those people in the commercials.

#30 Posted by Apparatus_Unearth (3131 posts) -

Like Slayer says - Piece by piece.

#31 Edited by TheManWithNoPlan (5376 posts) -

With two hands, a mouth and my wits.

#32 Edited by TrafalgarLaw (1107 posts) -

I heat it up, mix it with a 2% glucose and 20% alcohol suspension, before I administer it intravenously through my arm (median cubital) vein.

#33 Edited by Dinosaur_PhD (10 posts) -

How do you eat it, with your hands?

#34 Edited by 49th (2722 posts) -

Dip it into my cola.

#35 Posted by Stonyman65 (2661 posts) -

I eat it in pieces. I'm not really a big chocolate guy so I can only really eat a little bit at a time or the flavor is just too much. Like, say something along the lines of a regular sized Hershey bar or a Toblerone bar, those would take at least 2 or 3 days to eat by myself.

#36 Posted by Stonyman65 (2661 posts) -

@canteu said:

I stick it in and break it off. If I get chocolate I tend to get a large slab not just a shitty bar.

Also I have English chocolate, none of this waxy American horse shit.

I tried some Hersheys the other day. How do you people live with that garbage?

We don't really have a choice. Unless you go to a "candy" store where that's all they do, chances are the only thing you are going to see in US stores is stuff like Hershey, Dove, KitKats, Snickers, crunch bars.... Pretty much everything made by either MARS or Nestle. Not much else.

Whats some good stuff you guys have over there? I'm curious now.

#37 Posted by Vuud (1948 posts) -

Freebase that dirty shit. That's the only way I know how to party.

#38 Posted by Flappy (2191 posts) -

With my mouth.

#39 Posted by Clonedzero (4201 posts) -

Chocolate is something you put on stuff or coat stuff in. Solid chocolate is disgusting and people who eat it are gross. Yeah i said it.

#40 Edited by fisk0 (3999 posts) -

The first choice isn't exactly what I do. The bars sold here usually have a grid pattern of pre-cut pieces, and I tend to break off one row of them (with 3 pieces each) at a time. So, not biting directly into the bar, but not eating the pieces on by one either.

#41 Posted by Robot_Sneakers (418 posts) -

I break off the pieces and eat them one by one, letting them melt in my mouth. It's the only way I enjoy it

#42 Posted by quirkwood (183 posts) -

There's no option for hot-chocolate enema!

#43 Posted by Gruebacca (510 posts) -

I don't fucking care; it's chocolate!

#44 Edited by Snail (8593 posts) -

(Oops voted for the wrong one. I more often do the first one than the second.)

It depends on the chocolate.

I might easily disregard the sections of this chocolate and just eat it however:

But in this case I always clearly break the pieces by the outlines, and eat them as such:

The clearly delineated outlines are pronounced, easily breakable, and provide reasonable dosages of the chocolate. Usually I break off a row at a time and hold it in a different hand as I eat it.

Sometimes a chocolate will have outlines that I use to try to separate the squares, but, because of the structure of the chocolate bar, end up having irregular breakings. It might not break easily and require some strength (which sacrifices precision), or just have weird shapes that are hard to break without disrespecting the outlines.

Examples

I'm okay with this though. I'd rather go through a chocolate regularly, you know, to have measured quantities saved for later and stuff - but this doesn't bother me.

#45 Posted by Beforet (2915 posts) -

@fisk0: That's essentially what I do with Hersey's over here. I'll break off a segment (either a third or a half of the bar) and bit into that, and continue as such. I may eventually end up with one bar, in which case I eat that separately, I suppose. But I can't just break them off one by one; those bars are barely satisfying as a whole, a piece each would just feel like I was wasting my time.

#46 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

I slowly lick it until it congeals into one delicious mess.

#47 Posted by mrcraggle (1894 posts) -

I stuff it in my big stupid face and forgot I even ate it.

#48 Posted by CharlesDA (51 posts) -

If they are nice enough to include pre-cut pieces, then I'll break it up and eat it that way. To just bite through it all just seems very wrong, although that may have something to do with my OCD.

#49 Posted by ZolRoyce (651 posts) -

I stuff it in my big stupid face and forgot I even ate it.

I just want to let you know that I was eating when I read that and damn near chocked on it while laughing.

Anyways, I can not stand chocolate or sugar sweets on my teeth, so I don't much like biting, if I can I'll break a piece off and suck on it, if not I'll bite a small chunk off and suck on that.

#50 Posted by Oldirtybearon (4672 posts) -

Depends. If it's a Kit Kat or a Toblerone I'll break it into pieces. My favourite candy bar is Butterfinger but they come broken in pieces anyway.

Surprised to see this thread has no love for Reese's though.