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Edited 8 months, 5 hours ago

Poll: How do you eat a chocolate bar? (265 votes)

I break off the pre cut pieces and eat them one by one 66%
I take bites out of the bar regardless of the pre cut pieces 34%
#51 Edited by Morningstar (2158 posts) -

With my face!

#52 Posted by Yesiamaduck (1069 posts) -

Instructions:

Break off the row (3 pieces usually)

Turn it sideways

Shine it up real good

and shove it up your candy ass

#53 Posted by Sergio (2122 posts) -

you're talking about something like a Hershey's bar where it is segmented I assume. on occasions that i eat a candy bar, I tend to eat things like Snickers and Milky Way that are just a plain old bar. Those I cut into portions with a knife and eat with a fork (i am not a savage, dammit). I can't remember the last time i ate a chocolate bar that came pre-segmented. sorry, can't vote here, i guess.

What, no Seinfeld clip?

#54 Posted by AlexanderSheen (5007 posts) -

If I can, I'll break off a column and eat it regardless of the segmentation or if there are no columns then break off rows. Sometimes the pieces are just too big for a single bite and eat it in two bites.

#55 Posted by Canteu (2821 posts) -

@stonyman65: Cadbury, Galaxy and Kinder chocolates come to mind.

#56 Posted by dudeglove (7841 posts) -

@hamst3r said:

I rub the chocolate bar on my body and absorb it through my skin.

#57 Posted by SunBroZak (1114 posts) -

If I ain't sharing it, what's the point of breaking it into pieces?

#58 Edited by Ares42 (2663 posts) -

@soapy86 said:

With a fork and knife.

You fucking savages.

Do you eat hot dogs with a fork and knife too ?

#59 Edited by armaan8014 (5404 posts) -

Oh wow, I'm surprised by the results. Thought I was one of the few crazy people who took time to break of pieces and then eat them :P

#60 Posted by Pierre42 (110 posts) -

I DESTROY IT WITH MY MAW.

#61 Edited by FLStyle (4694 posts) -
  1. Bite around the sides
  2. Bite the top off
  3. Eat whatever's in the middle
  4. Eat the bottom
#62 Edited by gokaired (534 posts) -

Why conform to their ridged structure, break the rules!

#63 Edited by MonkeyKing1969 (2772 posts) -

I melt it down and make it into delicious confections.

I always wanted to experiment with taking various chocolate bars, those will multiple chewy layers of different substances, and melting them and mixing them to see how the taste changes. Does a Snickers tastes the same if you melt, mix, and harden it it again...for the sake of argument assume I fish-out the peanuts to crush them into paste, and reincorporate them.

#64 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

Pieces bitches.

#65 Edited by Kidavenger (3548 posts) -

#66 Posted by TheHT (11247 posts) -

I break them off. I ain't no goddamn savage.

Online
#67 Posted by Carlos1408 (1506 posts) -

@tobbrobb said:

I break off a row along the lines and then eat it like a breadstick, disregarding lines when biting.

Same here, but on occasion when I bite I do take into account the segmentation.

#68 Edited by Unilad (561 posts) -

@hatking: touché! That post made laugh my ass off!

I tend to throw the chocolate in the air, juggle it with my six shooters and then catch the individual pieces with my mouth as they fall back to earth. There is then a massive explosion behind me (I don't turn to look) as heroically grab and kiss the babe.

#69 Posted by pyromagnestir (4324 posts) -

@tobbrobb said:

I break off a row along the lines and then eat it like a breadstick, disregarding lines when biting.

Pretty much this.

#70 Posted by Bait003 (36 posts) -

There's no option for hot-chocolate enema!

i would use a Irish cream coffee enema....i think it would flow better.

#71 Edited by Winsord (1225 posts) -

I usually bite where the pre-cut pieces/segments are.

#72 Posted by Scampbell (497 posts) -

I prefer really dark 75-80% chocolate, which means you just can't eat it all in one go, Thus I tend to break it. Though whether it breaks according to the pattern, doesn't really matter to me. I eat it on top of my breakfast or with or a good cup of coffee.

#73 Posted by SethMode (41 posts) -

Honest question here: why do so many people hate Hershey's? Personally, I'm not a huge chocolate fan in general, but it's not like I find it to be unbearable.

And I of course eat by the segments when I do eat them, and the segments definitely stretch to almost all chocolate bars.

#74 Posted by DriveupLife (915 posts) -

I do not remember creating this topic.