#1 Posted by CountMacula (234 posts) -

Hey,

so I didn't how or where to talk about this, but I've spent a fair amount of time on the GB forums over the years and it's one of the few places I'm comfortable talking about this.

I'm 26 and for the last few months my general moods have been changing. Starting around June I began to get panic attacks related to my summer job, I went to a therapist in July to try to seek help with these and for the most part it helped. In August when I started my second year of med school I was definitely more stressed, but although I came close to a panic attack multiple times, I never actually experienced one. However since around the middle of August, I've been experiencing these periods of just feeling down, I can't really describe it, but it's like all my self doubts and negative emotions are magnified to an extreme degree and even though things are going well (not amazing, not terrible) it feels like doing anything is pointless, sometimes it's like I'm bored with everything, sometimes I just feel sad.

These feelings aren't constant, and when things are going well, the nagging self doubts are there, but I can deal with them, but in times of stress (such as this week when I have an exam on tomorrow) it's like I go off the deep end, I become extremely negative and irritable. I'm living with my girlfriend whom I love deeply (and who is in the same class as me) and it's starting to affect her significantly. She suffers from GAD but is able to cope, unless I go into one of these moods which then causes her extreme stress and I suspect is making her question whether this relationship is good for her. She mentioned today that after a period of 10 days of being good, this week has left her really worried that I might permanently end up like this, and said it's becoming depressing to be around me. I think that sleep is playing a huge role here, because for the last few days (of which I've been feeling down) I haven't been able to get a decent nights sleep (I either can't fall asleep or I wake up in the middle of the night and struggle to get back to sleep).

I'm worried that this is going damage or end our relationship, which scares me.

So I guess the point of this whole rambling topic is do any of you duders or duderettes have any experience with anything similar to this? Do you think it sounds like depression? How have you coped with your experiences and do you have any advice for me?

Thanks

#2 Posted by believer258 (11565 posts) -

Someone tag JasonR86, my phone won't let me. Dude seems like a really helpful mental health professional.

Online
#3 Posted by Sagalla (214 posts) -

Couple of points, there is nothing better for depression that regular exercise, secondly, you might want to look up 'cognitive dissonance' because it sounds like there is a bit of a disconnect between your everyday choices and the commitments you have taken on.

#4 Posted by egg (1450 posts) -

Someone tag JasonR86, my phone won't let me. Dude seems like a really helpful mental health professional.

Does calling out even work on this board anymore? I stopped receiving them full stop, even when I get quoted in threads.

at thread:

The way I see it. Our minds are comprised of material reactions meaning all our sensations have a limit and can run dry at some point. (before being recharged again) The more boring, less meaningful/fulfilling something is the faster it occurs, but presumably it will happen at some point no matter what. You are after all only human.

As for your GF, are you actively irritating her or does she simply find you boring? If it's a, stop it. If it's b, maybe it's time to move on. For the record I never had a GF. Good luck!

#5 Posted by Three0neFive (2285 posts) -

However since around the middle of August, I've been experiencing these periods of just feeling down, I can't really describe it, but it's like all my self doubts and negative emotions are magnified to an extreme degree and even though things are going well (not amazing, not terrible) it feels like doing anything is pointless, sometimes it's like I'm bored with everything, sometimes I just feel sad.

I'm not a doctor or anything, but from my own (completely un-diagnosed) experiences yeah, that sounds about right - I went through a period of about a year where I didn't enjoy the things I used to and found it incredibly hard to muster up the motivation to do even the simplest things. Kind of just sat there, when I wasn't sleeping 16+ hours a day to try and forget how shitty I felt I was browsing the internet and wishing I could sleep more.

Real talk, go see a doctor. Clinical depression is a real thing they can detect, chemical imbalances and shit. In the meantime maybe start running or exercising or something, I dunno I'm still not very good at this.

#6 Edited by avantegardener (1107 posts) -

First thing you need to know is your not alone, or some strange anomaly, panic attacks and general anxiety are VERY common. This might be something temporary, but it sounds like current situation is exacerbating them, I have suffered from them on rare occasions (about 4 my whole life) but a friend of mines suffers with them big time. I think you just need to talk to someone about it, be a friend or professional. Just wanted to drop a supportive comment as I know how tough it can be. Most important factor is talk about and be open about how your feeling, you would be surprised how many people experience this.

#7 Posted by ILikePopCans (745 posts) -

Yeah, go see a real ass doctor. We know you never want to go unless you're for sure something is wrong but if these conditions are having a serious effect on your life then you should find a way to stop them are at least find out what is causing them as fast as possible. Remember, getting help will also help your SO too, if you love her as much as you say then that should get you going.

#8 Posted by SharkEthic (1003 posts) -

@egg said:
@believer258 said:

Someone tag JasonR86, my phone won't let me. Dude seems like a really helpful mental health professional.

Does calling out even work on this board anymore? I stopped receiving them full stop, even when I get quoted in threads.

Why don't we give it a shot? Yo @jasonr86, get over here, please!

#9 Posted by believer258 (11565 posts) -

@egg said:
@believer258 said:

Someone tag JasonR86, my phone won't let me. Dude seems like a really helpful mental health professional.

Does calling out even work on this board anymore? I stopped receiving them full stop, even when I get quoted in threads.

at thread:

The way I see it. Our minds are comprised of material reactions meaning all our sensations have a limit and can run dry at some point. (before being recharged again) The more boring, less meaningful/fulfilling something is the faster it occurs, but presumably it will happen at some point no matter what. You are after all only human.

As for your GF, are you actively irritating her or does she simply find you boring? If it's a, stop it. If it's b, maybe it's time to move on. For the record I never had a GF. Good luck!

Well, now that I'm on a computer, we can see if it works. @jasonr86.

Online
#10 Posted by CaLe (3897 posts) -

I knew I was depressed when the thought of death was more comforting than any other thought in my head. It's a shitty and tangibly dark place to be. Life events kinda jolted me out of that state and I haven't been back since.

#11 Edited by BeachThunder (11649 posts) -

Have a play of this.

#12 Posted by egg (1450 posts) -

@egg said:
@believer258 said:

Someone tag JasonR86, my phone won't let me. Dude seems like a really helpful mental health professional.

Does calling out even work on this board anymore? I stopped receiving them full stop, even when I get quoted in threads.

Why don't we give it a shot? Yo @jasonr86, get over here, please!

how about @sharkethic and @believer258

now we'll see!

#13 Edited by SharkEthic (1003 posts) -

@egg said:

@sharkethic said:

@egg said:
@believer258 said:

Someone tag JasonR86, my phone won't let me. Dude seems like a really helpful mental health professional.

Does calling out even work on this board anymore? I stopped receiving them full stop, even when I get quoted in threads.

Why don't we give it a shot? Yo @jasonr86, get over here, please!

how about @sharkethic and @believer258

now we'll see!

It totally works.

Edit: @countmacula sorry for derailing your thread, feel better dude!

#14 Posted by thefeta (40 posts) -

I made an account just to reply to you. Feel special ;). So I will start with a bit of my story in hopes that it is somewhat helpful in making sure you know you are not alone. I am a 34 year old man with two kids, happy wife and my own house. Just about everything I ever wanted but late last year the depression and anxiety got its grips on me. My anxiety was always there since I was a teen but I was a heavy drinker and into self medication(weed smoker) which I had stopped because we had a baby on the way. So in effect my stopping drinking brought on a flood of uncontrollable anxiety and depression. My life turned into sitting in my big comfy chair and not moving and having some seriously dark thoughts. I take the bus to work and that started to seem unbearable. I basically stopped going to work altogether and just sat and sat day after day. My girlfriend obviously noticed something was very wrong and pushed me to go to the doctor. BEST MOVE YOU CAN MAKE! If you have depression or anxiety a good Doctor will help you get on meds that should help if you have a chemical imbalance. They also gave me meds to help me sleep. I am not advocating a ton of pills will be your solution however getting proper sleep is pretty key. While I was off work I made sure to get a physical done and went for a sleep study. Low and behold I also was diagnosed with sleep apnea. So I now sleep with a mask to help that. Combined with the doctor I also(through my work benefits) went to a therapist. It takes some work but I am now back at my job and focused on bettering my situation. I take a lil pill once every two days. Depression is not a dead end it can be overcome but I found it was made easier by getting professional help. You never know what other issues you may have that are contributing your low mood. Don't go at it alone and please take care of yourself.

Geoff

#15 Posted by believer258 (11565 posts) -

@egg said:

@sharkethic said:

@egg said:
@believer258 said:

Someone tag JasonR86, my phone won't let me. Dude seems like a really helpful mental health professional.

Does calling out even work on this board anymore? I stopped receiving them full stop, even when I get quoted in threads.

Why don't we give it a shot? Yo @jasonr86, get over here, please!

how about @sharkethic and @believer258

now we'll see!

It totally works.

...because he quoted us and didn't just tag us?

Online
#16 Edited by SharkEthic (1003 posts) -
#17 Posted by Brodehouse (9521 posts) -

Are you listening to Joy Division?

Well then you're not that depressed.

#18 Posted by believer258 (11565 posts) -

@believer258 Good point. Does it work?

It does.

Also, we've derailed this way too much now. Sorry, OP. I don't really know much about getting out of depression myself, but I wish you the best of luck! Try to do at least one thing that you want to do every day, even a little thing. That seems to help a whole lot.

Online
#19 Edited by Video_Game_King (35842 posts) -

You vividly and frequently imagine your own death/suicide.

#20 Posted by theodacourt (519 posts) -

I can usually tell that I'm feeling down when I just feel tired all the time. I start to lose concentration on things and feel like I need to go to bed, and find it really hard to get up in the mornings. Sometimes sleeping for 16 hours or so.

It doesn't even feel directly related to it when I'm sleeping, but I just realised it only happens when I'm feeling down so it must be the same thing.

#21 Posted by MonkeyKing1969 (2535 posts) -

The older I get the more I get panic attacks or near panic attacks. I find heavy exercise is enough to sort me out or has in the past.

#22 Edited by egg (1450 posts) -

Why do you guys get tag notifications but not me?

edit: Oh, I had to enable it in settings page. Yay! This gonna be so much fun.

#23 Posted by Gatehouse (571 posts) -

First of all, go and see a doctor. As someone who is currently on doctor-ordered anti-depressants, I can't endorse seeing them enough.

For years I've struggled with very low esteem, dark moods, constant stress and self-doubt and last year finally got diagnosed as depressed. Thankfully, things have gotten a lot better for me (mainly due to my amazing new girlfriend and new job) but I still have bad days when for no good reason I feel under a heavy cloud. I really found that talking to someone (proffesional or not) does help, you never have to fight this on your own. Also, as someone else has said on here, exercise does help, even if it just gives you a little sense of achievement. Even if it's just for a minute or two, that little squirt of good feeling does wonders.

I hope things get better for you duder. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, it's just that sometimes it's a bit hard to see.

#24 Posted by Chiefslapaho (32 posts) -


I'm 35 now and I've been going through something similar since my mid 20's. I'm not sure if its the drag of going from being a squirly teenager to slowly realizing you have adult stuff creeping into you life or what. I started with severe depression in my early 20's. The depression led to my first full blown panic attack when i was 27. Like most people I thought I was dying and the fact that I'd had open heart surgery when i was 24 made me think this was finally it. Medication, finding a good doctor, and changing my life style helped. If you have friends who are shit heads try to slowly break away from them and surround yourself with more positive people. This won't fix itself over night. I just had a bad panic attack a few nights ago because i was trying to get off the medication. It will be an on going process and having someone with you to deal with it will help you a great deal.

#26 Posted by JasonR86 (9587 posts) -

@countmacula:

Hey dude! So when a mental health professional gives a diagnosis they have to rely on criteria represented in a book called the 'diagnosis statistician's manual' or DSM. Right now we are in its fifth edition. Each diagnosis has different criteria that need to be met before a professional can make that diagnosis. Here's the criteria for depression (this is from the last DSM but it's pretty much the same in DSM-V):

A. At least five of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning: at least one of the symptoms is either 1)depressed mood or 2) loss of interest or pleasure.

1. Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated either by subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful)

2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated either by subjective account or observation made by others)

3. Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day

4. Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day

5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)

6. Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day

7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)

8. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)

9. Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or specific plan for committing suicide

B. The symptoms do not meet criteria for a mixed episode (manic and depressive episode mixed).

C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

D. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g. a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., hypothyroidism).

E. The symptoms are not better accounted for by bereavement, i.e., after the loss of a loved one, the symptoms persist for longer than 2 months or are characterized by marked functional impairment, morbid preoccupation with worthlessness, suicidal ideation, psychotic symptoms, or psychomotor retardation.

To be diagnosed with this disorder you would need to go through an assessment where a professional would ask you several questions to get a better sense of what is going on. The symptoms listed above are shared with other disorders and at times what feels like the symptoms listed above can actually be described by some other disorder. Or maybe not described by any disorder at all.

If you are wondering, you can call a professional in private practice or an agency to get set up with an assessment to see for sure. An assessment could very easily be considered like a physical check-up. And just because you go doesn't mean you'll have to go to counseling or start meds.

If you have questions let me know and I'll see what I can answer.

#27 Edited by Sagalla (214 posts) -

@jasonr86 said:

@countmacula:

Hey dude! So when a mental health professional gives a diagnosis they have to rely on criteria represented in a book called the 'diagnosis statistician's manual' or DSM. Right now we are in its fifth edition. Each diagnosis has different criteria that need to be met before a professional can make that diagnosis. Here's the criteria for depression (this is from the last DSM but it's pretty much the same in DSM-V):

A. At least five of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning: at least one of the symptoms is either 1)depressed mood or 2) loss of interest or pleasure.

1. Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated either by subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful)

2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated either by subjective account or observation made by others)

3. Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day

4. Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day

5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)

6. Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day

7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)

8. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)

9. Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or specific plan for committing suicide

B. The symptoms do not meet criteria for a mixed episode (manic and depressive episode mixed).

C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

D. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g. a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., hypothyroidism).

E. The symptoms are not better accounted for by bereavement, i.e., after the loss of a loved one, the symptoms persist for longer than 2 months or are characterized by marked functional impairment, morbid preoccupation with worthlessness, suicidal ideation, psychotic symptoms, or psychomotor retardation.

To be diagnosed with this disorder you would need to go through an assessment where a professional would ask you several questions to get a better sense of what is going on. The symptoms listed above are shared with other disorders and at times what feels like the symptoms listed above can actually be described by some other disorder. Or maybe not described by any disorder at all.

If you are wondering, you can call a professional in private practice or an agency to get set up with an assessment to see for sure. An assessment could very easily be considered like a physical check-up. And just because you go doesn't mean you'll have to go to counseling or start meds.

If you have questions let me know and I'll see what I can answer.

Here is a line from an article that describes what is different in the DSM V. It is quite revealing actually: "But thanks to the DSM-5’s inclusion of “hoarding disorder” as a standalone diagnosis, doctors may be able to treat the condition with a pill." Yeah.

#28 Posted by CountMacula (234 posts) -

Thanks for the support guys. I've made an appointment to see my GP tomorrow afternoon and hopefully get some help in one form or another. Next up on the to do list for the day is trying to smooth things over with the girlfriend when she comes back this evening.

#29 Posted by pyromagnestir (4199 posts) -

You vividly and frequently imagine your own death/suicide.

You don't have to be that far down to be depressed. That's like uber depressed. Or mega depressed. I don't know the I ain't no shrink doctor.

Online
#30 Posted by JasonR86 (9587 posts) -

@sagalla:

They were already doing that. But loose lips sink ships so I'll shut up now. For the purposes of diagnosing the 4 and 5 are pretty similar (I couldn't copy down the criteria in 5 as my new DSM is at my office).

#31 Edited by chiablo (893 posts) -

#32 Posted by Jeust (10454 posts) -

I say to you to analyse why you feel depressed. Knowing why you feel that way, you can change yourself slowly so you feel better.

#33 Posted by Jeust (10454 posts) -

I'm not sure if its the drag of going from being a squirly teenager to slowly realizing you have adult stuff creeping into you life or what.

I think the same, but generalizing, I think it has to do with the perceived requirement of leading a life with which a person isn't confortable with, due to faster pace than they are confortable with, personal ideals clashing with reality, etc.

#34 Edited by Intro (1205 posts) -

I'm not really sure how to answer that. I would say if you're sad frequently, cry randomly or have frequent thoughts about suicide.

A month ago I was in a psych ward for 5 days and a psychiatrist diagnosed me with major depression disorder after thinking about suicide so much, crying throughout everyday for no known reason and trying to kill myself once. I've seen a counselor for a little and was prescribed Welbutrin XL 150 milligrams at the hospital, a low level anti depressant. I took the pills for awhile and then threw them away last week and cancelled my counselor's next appointment. I know talking to someone about my problems won't help me, that medicine wouldn't do anything either. My family doctor recommended me another psychiatrist to see and wants me on some higher dose meds. I'm still debating it, but I don't want to rely on meds or be a totally different person awhile I'm on them if they give me something strong. None of what the psych ward did helped either (I don't blame them, it's my fault, not theirs), I was just glad to be out of there once I got out. After two weeks out, I've thought about killing myself everyday and have been back to normal (depressed).

If you're having serious issues though, please get help or at least talk to your doctor. I know what they did for me didn't help, but you should try everything responsible that you can to get better. It's not worth living like I am, that's for sure.

#35 Edited by believer258 (11565 posts) -

@jasonr86: How do you treat people who are diagnosed with depression but can't or won't take medication?

I may have asked you this before, so forgive me if I have.

Also, are thoughts of suicide always linked with depression? Are there some depressed patients who have simply never thought about suicide?

Online
#36 Posted by JasonR86 (9587 posts) -

@believer258:

There are a million different therapies out there for depression. The disorder has been researched more then any other. Why type of psychotherapy a therapist does depends on their own theoretical orientation and what the client brings to the room. It's a bit harder to tell and easier to show. But there's millions of ways to do it without meds.

Suicide is commonly linked to depression but it can be tied to any disorder. It can be very high in borderline personality disorder and PTSD. It's brought up with depression a lot because the chances the depressed person has suicidal thoughts is higher then nearly all other disorders.

#37 Edited by senrat (309 posts) -

What you describe is most certainly depression. I have experienced it throughout my life and it basically causes you want to do nothing and focus on the negative aspects of your life. Good friends are important in situations like this, they act as a support system. The worst possible situation is to be both depressed and alone, it will only get worse. I have never really had any good friends, so that has made my bouts of depression worse. Depression often leads to you not wanting to interact with anybody, just know you are lucky to have any friends at all. I am starting to feel depression myself so I decided to be proactive and went ahead and signed up for an appointment at my campus counseling center.

#38 Posted by benpicko (1985 posts) -

You vividly and frequently imagine your own death/suicide.

tfw

#39 Posted by falserelic (5280 posts) -

When I get depress I usually feel like shit. That's how I know something is not quite right with me. I usually start thinking about stuff that could have been avoided in my life. If only I wasn't a complete fucking retard back when I was a teen, but it's in the past. Still, can't help but feel guilty at times over a bad decision I made.

As much as I would like to go back in time to change things I can't. So the only thing I can do is try to fix things, and keep moving forward with my life. I know there's people out in the world that has worse problems, but still manage to keep their lives in order. In the end I got no right to complain.

#40 Posted by gokaired (472 posts) -

Depression is varied but one i know of is what i dubbed as the "vampire effect", when you look in the mirror and see nothing back. In other words a total lack of self worth and giving into apathy.

#41 Posted by CynicalBuzzard (240 posts) -

You need to go get some professional help.

#42 Posted by jasbir (107 posts) -

I'm on medication for depression.

#43 Posted by warpig87 (39 posts) -

Firstly mate, here comes the cliched "Go see an actual doctor, don't ask the forums". But it's true. Have a chat to a doctor about it. They'll tell you pretty quickly what the problem is, whether it's something you can treat with medication, or you need to talk to someone further about it, or both. It sounds like you definitely have something you should see a doc' about regardless mate, being down for extended periods of time is no good for you.