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#1 Posted by Living_Monstrosity (67 posts) -

I've dated all kinds of girls, meaning different ethnicities as well as different styles (i.e. preppy, tomboy). But I have yet to get with a goth chick. There's this one club I go to that has a lot of those girls with the colored hair, nose rings, black makeup etc, but what usually works with other girls doesn't seem to work on these chicks - this one girl told me to f*** myself and called me a conformist when I merely asked her name.

Any of you hook up with a goth? Did you have to pretend to be a wizard or worship Satan to get their attention?

#2 Posted by Humanoid (206 posts) -

With your back, the majority of them seem quite large.

She called you a conformist? I've dated a goth, I thought she was the Queen of goths, but she never called me a conformist. That sounds like the stereotypical goth they show on South Park.

#3 Posted by Sweep (8927 posts) -

Fake your own death.

I'm not even kidding.

Moderator
#4 Posted by Zacagawea (1600 posts) -
#5 Posted by Animasta (14713 posts) -

Sure she wasn't joking? if not than I don't think she's interested in a relationship with you, but feel free to try and stock up on hot topic gear and try again

#6 Posted by Hitchenson (4682 posts) -

Cut yourself, failing that, cut on her a bit.

#7 Posted by Shookems (474 posts) -
#8 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3906 posts) -

This is my favorite thread of the day.

Goth girls can be hot. I guess you just have to find out how to tell the cool ones from the belligerent ones.

#9 Posted by slowbird (1735 posts) -

I would prefer a raver chick.

#10 Posted by SockemJetpack (409 posts) -

So dye your hair black if it isn't already, pierce your face, get all sad and wear black and white striped shirts with leather pants. The only way to not be a conformist is to conform to the nonconformists.

#11 Edited by Shookems (474 posts) -

Whisper lyrics to evanescence songs into their ears, offer them dead roses, wear Jack Skellington t-shirts, get a fake nose ring, etc

#12 Posted by drag (1223 posts) -

go fuck yourself seems like pretty decent advice to me

#13 Posted by RockyRaccoon37 (467 posts) -

@drag said:

go fuck yourself seems like pretty decent advice to me

Spot on!

#14 Posted by Ares42 (2731 posts) -

It's all about appearance.

#15 Posted by Marz (5658 posts) -

don't waste your time is all the advice i can give.

#16 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3819 posts) -

Show her the scars on your arms. Make sure you cut the right way. Bitches love suicide scars.

#17 Edited by TheVeteran13 (1210 posts) -

Cut yourself and they'll sniff you out eventually, also buy some Ur by Usher and spritz that shit all over so you smell real sad.

What I'm trying to say here is that goth chicks are like sharks except the pointy teeth are in their vaginas

#18 Posted by NegativeCero (3014 posts) -

My first reaction to seeing this thread title was laughter, followed by "God damn it," as I saw this wasn't a joke

#19 Posted by benson (318 posts) -

Flail your arms around and shriek like you're a bat. Works everytime.

#20 Posted by Stonyman65 (2765 posts) -

@Living_Monstrosity said:

I've dated all kinds of girls, meaning different ethnicities as well as different styles (i.e. preppy, tomboy). But I have yet to get with a goth chick. There's this one club I go to that has a lot of those girls with the colored hair, nose rings, black makeup etc, but what usually works with other girls doesn't seem to work on these chicks - this one girl told me to f*** myself and called me a conformist when I merely asked her name.

Any of you hook up with a goth? Did you have to pretend to be a wizard or worship Satan to get their attention?

Is she hot? Because she doesn't sound like it. Why don't you tell that anti-conformist bitch to suck it? That's what I'd do.

#21 Posted by Hot_Karl (3309 posts) -

If she called you a conformist, she's probably a fake lesbian.

#22 Edited by Freshbandito (689 posts) -

"Man I been wit all kindsa womens, my dick constantly be wet, and that's why I come to gaming sites for woman advice."

Honest advice? she doesn't like you, there's no magical fucking chat up line when someone doesn't like you.

I'm just so glad that ryan image was posted.

#23 Posted by wjb (1676 posts) -

Why...?

#24 Posted by AlisterCat (5635 posts) -

With gloves?

#25 Posted by N7 (3595 posts) -

Walk up behind her and start choking her. If she struggles, that means she likes you.

#26 Posted by dvdhaus (357 posts) -

@Sweep said:

Fake your own death.

I'm not even kidding.

Fact! This man speaks the truth listen to him.

#27 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -

I don't have a fucking clue. And 2 of the 3 girlfriends i've ever had were goths.

#28 Posted by benson (318 posts) -

Disembowel a goat in front of her in the name of Satan then lick your sacrificial knife suggestively

#29 Posted by Poppduder (460 posts) -

I dont mean to sound wacky or anything, but try talking to her. Initiate conversation, listen intently while making eye contact. Ask her about her, dont say "wow thats really cool me too". Speak to her like a human. Then maybe tell her your last name and ask her to find you on facebook, or ask her for her number so you guys can catch a show or get sushi (bitches love sushi).

#30 Posted by Rattle618 (1463 posts) -

If your only goal is to get a goth chick then just go for chunky/fugly ones and keep trying. It´s the same probability game as with any other group of women: the more you try the better your chances.

#31 Posted by Bruce (5264 posts) -

@Living_Monstrosity:

I dated a Colombian girl who was pretty goth. Dark make-up, into all that Wicca bullshit. Just walked up to her and asked her out. Preeeetty simple.

#32 Posted by Little_Socrates (5683 posts) -

If she told you to fuck off and called you a conformist she was probably wasn't looking to hook up. I was gonna post advice until I realized how horribly sexist and disgusting that would be.

As a straight nerdy white man, I'm telling you to fuck off.

#33 Posted by Joker369 (881 posts) -
@Zacagawea
#34 Posted by Living_Monstrosity (67 posts) -

I just want to get with a goth girl for one night cuz I heard they're freaky in bed and I want to see if it's true. But these kinds of girls are just so bitter and angry, which makes getting to first base difficult, let alone getting to home plate.

Goth chick: What kind of music do you like?

Me: Death metal and euro-dance. You?

Goth chick: WTF? Your music taste sucks ass!

Me: I doubt your music taste is any better.

Goth chick: Oh please, I bet you've never even heard of Moonspell you tool!

-_-

@dvdhaus said:

@Sweep said:

Fake your own death.

I'm not even kidding.

Fact! This man speaks the truth listen to him.

lolwut? Do you know this from experience? 0_0

#35 Posted by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

Talk about witchcraft and heavy metal. Also be sure to also fit into a stereotype as well, so you can relate, undermining actual identity and personality.

That should work

#36 Posted by Wes899 (2119 posts) -

Those sound like scene girls to me. Did goth and scene become the same thing?

#37 Posted by FesteringNeon (2164 posts) -

I'm no pro, yet with having actually "been with" a goth chick.. these are my opinions:

Most can tell your intentions before you even open your mouth... that itself is your downfall. Most also may think the goth "object" is going to automatically be a freak, so the flash of their tough exterior shell, helps diffuse these types of situations. The fact is... they love bright colored cupcakes and flowers just like the next girl. But honestly, a cleaver gift (above) (coupled with http://www.etsy.com/listing/89884471/god-bless-sasha-grey-t-shir)and a tattoo sleeve will get you far, but doesn't mean she'll sleep with you, yet.

#38 Posted by Freshbandito (689 posts) -

@Living_Monstrosity said:

I just want to get with a goth girl for one night cuz I heard they're freaky in bed and I want to see if it's true. But these kinds of girls are just so bitter and angry, which makes getting to first base difficult, let alone getting to home plate.

pro-tip: women aren't bitter and angry if they turn you down (if it helps you feel better then run with it champ), it just means they don't like you and you're less of a man for it. Try faking your own death as others have suggested. Also 's choking advice is spot on.

#39 Posted by SeriouslyNow (8534 posts) -
@TheHumanDove said:

Talk about witchcraft and heavy metal. Also be sure to also fit into a stereotype as well, so you can relate, undermining actual identity and personality.

That should work

That's not Goth.  Goth chicks aren't Wiccan and often hate the fuck out of Metal.  Is The Cure metal? I don't think so.
#40 Posted by Daveyo520 (6862 posts) -

Well, how much does she weigh? I guess that will dictate what kind of physical training you need to do to get ready to lift.

#41 Posted by benson (318 posts) -

Pretend that you're the ghost of Ian Curtis then touch her shoulder!

#42 Posted by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

@SeriouslyNow said:

@TheHumanDove said:

Talk about witchcraft and heavy metal. Also be sure to also fit into a stereotype as well, so you can relate, undermining actual identity and personality.

That should work

That's not Goth. Goth chicks aren't Wiccan and often hate the fuck out of Metal. Is The Cure metal? I don't think so.

That's alright, since it was sarcasm to make fun of willing stereotypes. I'm not an expert on goth culture

#43 Posted by Living_Monstrosity (67 posts) -

@Freshbandito said:

@Living_Monstrosity said:

I just want to get with a goth girl for one night cuz I heard they're freaky in bed and I want to see if it's true. But these kinds of girls are just so bitter and angry, which makes getting to first base difficult, let alone getting to home plate.

pro-tip: women aren't bitter and angry if they turn you down (if it helps you feel better then run with it champ), it just means they don't like you and you're less of a man for it. Try faking your own death as others have suggested. Also 's choking advice is spot on.

I know that. These are the kinds of women that are totally bitter though. I can tell just by overhearing their convos. They all hate their parents and are always talking about how much the world sucks.

#44 Posted by forkboy (1166 posts) -

@Living_Monstrosity said:

I just want to get with a goth girl for one night cuz I heard they're freaky in bed and I want to see if it's true. But these kinds of girls are just so bitter and angry, which makes getting to first base difficult, let alone getting to home plate.

Goth chick: What kind of music do you like?

Me: Death metal and euro-dance. You?

Goth chick: WTF? Your music taste sucks ass!

Me: I doubt your music taste is any better.

Goth chick: Oh please, I bet you've never even heard of Moonspell you tool!

-_-

This shit is cringeworthy. Goths are just people. Some of them are very nice, some of them are petty fucks. So for starters try not being an awful douchebag who only wants to say "hey I fucked a goth lol".

#45 Posted by pyromagnestir (4327 posts) -

Punch her in the face and if she gets pissed off call her a conformist to gender socio evolutionary something, fuck I don't know. Make something up.

#46 Posted by forkboy (1166 posts) -

@Living_Monstrosity said:

@Freshbandito said:

@Living_Monstrosity said:

I just want to get with a goth girl for one night cuz I heard they're freaky in bed and I want to see if it's true. But these kinds of girls are just so bitter and angry, which makes getting to first base difficult, let alone getting to home plate.

pro-tip: women aren't bitter and angry if they turn you down (if it helps you feel better then run with it champ), it just means they don't like you and you're less of a man for it. Try faking your own death as others have suggested. Also 's choking advice is spot on.

I know that. These are the kinds of women that are totally bitter though. I can tell just by overhearing their convos. They all hate their parents and are always talking about how much the world sucks.

Then stop trying to pick up teenagers.

#47 Posted by GlenTennis (3145 posts) -

@Living_Monstrosity said:

pretend to be a wizard

You answered your own question.

#48 Posted by Living_Monstrosity (67 posts) -

@forkboy said:

@Living_Monstrosity said:

I just want to get with a goth girl for one night cuz I heard they're freaky in bed and I want to see if it's true. But these kinds of girls are just so bitter and angry, which makes getting to first base difficult, let alone getting to home plate.

Goth chick: What kind of music do you like?

Me: Death metal and euro-dance. You?

Goth chick: WTF? Your music taste sucks ass!

Me: I doubt your music taste is any better.

Goth chick: Oh please, I bet you've never even heard of Moonspell you tool!

-_-

This shit is cringeworthy. Goths are just people. Some of them are very nice, some of them are petty fucks. So for starters try not being an awful douchebag who only wants to say "hey I fucked a goth lol".

I don't see how wanting to have sex with a specific type of girl out of curiosity is equivalent to being a douchebag.

#49 Posted by BrockNRolla (1702 posts) -

@Living_Monstrosity said:

this one girl told me to f*** myself and called me a conformist when I merely asked her name.

That's a red flag. Move along.

#50 Posted by Living_Monstrosity (67 posts) -

@BrockNRolla said:

@Living_Monstrosity said:

this one girl told me to f*** myself and called me a conformist when I merely asked her name.

That's a red flag. Move along.

Oh I already did from that one. She was a total bitch.