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#1 Posted by samface6 (23 posts) -

I've just been dumped after a 6 month relationship, and it's far from my first break up, but it still fucking sucks. A lot.

I'm fighting with feelings of worthlessness, complete loneliness, not knowing what to do with myself.

I often find myself randomly standing in the middle of a room staring into space, not wanting to move or do any of the things I usually like.

What are some ways you guys have gotten through a bad break up?

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#2 Posted by sgjackson (544 posts) -

Vent to a trusted friend and do all the things you always say you want to do but never do for some reason. Work out your frustration at the gym. Get drunk and fuck bitches.

...yeah, that's about it! In that order too, oddly enough...

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#3 Posted by samface6 (23 posts) -

Haha! Pretty great response. I'm in the process of the getting drunk part at this very moment.

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#4 Posted by LordXavierBritish (6651 posts) -

Smoke drugs.

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#5 Posted by samface6 (23 posts) -

All of them?

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#6 Posted by jetsetwillie (882 posts) -

kick a cat

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#7 Posted by ZeForgotten (10368 posts) -

Whatever you feel like doing is what you should do.  
Wanna get drunk?: Go drink the amount of alcohol you would drink in a year, in a single evening. 
Wanna play games to get your mind off things?: Do that 
Hang with friends?: Go do that too.  
 
It's never easy to get over this stuff if you cared even a little about the person you were with. Sadly things like this do happen and it's a bitch.  
Sometimes it goes away fast and sometimes it takes a long time for one to get over it. other times you "get over it", then it bites you in the ass later in life. In the end, it's experience, (not in the level up kind of way. Sadly)

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#8 Edited by Still_I_Cry (2521 posts) -

It was only 6 months.

I prescribe a healthy dose of Skyrim.

I've never had a break-up because I fail. Or maybe I win?

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#9 Posted by Hizang (9359 posts) -

Enjoy being single, go order two pizzas and get some movies/games and have at it.

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#10 Posted by emergency (1206 posts) -

@Still_I_Cry said:

It was only 6 months.

I prescribe a healthy dose of Skyrim.

This prescription is medically sound. You just need something to take your mind off her, the worst thing that can happen is for you to sit around bored cause all you do is theorize how much fun you could be having with her. Hang out more frequently with friends or take up WoW/Skyrim.

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#11 Posted by samface6 (23 posts) -

6 months can seem like a very long time.

But yes, I realise it's far from the end of the world.

Skyrim is definitely on the menu. That's basically like a drug right?

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#12 Posted by Still_I_Cry (2521 posts) -

@samface6 said:

6 months can seem like a very long time.

But yes, I realise it's far from the end of the world.

Skyrim is definitely on the menu. That's basically like a drug right?

Yes.

Much more satisfying than having drunken sex with women (you hope).

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#13 Posted by Marzy (687 posts) -

This may come across as a bit of a lame response, but I'm simply going to say "time". Over time you'll just get over it and start doing the things you love again and forget it even happened.

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#14 Posted by DeanoXD (701 posts) -

6 months, your first break up, to me means you are young to stop being a member of the oprah crowd and cowboy up for christs sakes. Get your buddies together go out boozing fuck a bar star and move on with your life.

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#15 Posted by RedHatDrew (373 posts) -

@ZeForgotten said:

Whatever you feel like doing is what you should do. Wanna get drunk?: Go drink the amount of alcohol you would drink in a year, in a single evening. Wanna play games to get your mind off things?: Do that Hang with friends?: Go do that too. It's never easy to get over this stuff if you cared even a little about the person you were with. Sadly things like this do happen and it's a bitch. Sometimes it goes away fast and sometimes it takes a long time for one to get over it. other times you "get over it", then it bites you in the ass later in life. In the end, it's experience, (not in the level up kind of way. Sadly)

This.

Though if it were me, I'd probably throw myself into working on something I'd been meaning to do for quite some time (i.e. programming, learning x skill, etc.) Try not to focus on them, but instead focus on you, and what you want in the long run. You'll thank yourself for it later.

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#16 Posted by samface6 (23 posts) -

My first post said "far from my first break up". I've been through the routine before. The "man up" option is a decent one though.

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#17 Posted by BlinkyTM (1057 posts) -

Slap yourself in the face. Then go play Skyrim until your eyeballs fall out.

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#18 Posted by Marcsman (3545 posts) -

First of all 6 months is not shit, no offense. If you want to get even, nothing says I don't care about you better than living it up properly. I'm thinking roadtrip. It worked for Scotty in Eurotrip. Cause Scotty doesn't know, Cause Scotty doesn't know, Cause Scotty doesn't know,. Don't tell Scotty

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#19 Posted by ajamafalous (13268 posts) -
@DeanoXD said:

6 months, your first break up,

@samface6 said:

it's far from my first break up, 

Pretty sure you misread that.
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#20 Posted by clumsyninja1 (850 posts) -

Hit a club or a bar, get lucky!!! Problem solved

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#21 Posted by Elemental_89 (58 posts) -

Listen to some Atmosphere.

And/Or go round to her house an spunk on her curtains.

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#22 Posted by gren (59 posts) -

@Marzy said:

This may come across as a bit of a lame response, but I'm simply going to say "time". Over time you'll just get over it and start doing the things you love again and forget it even happened.

Pretty much this. But I'd also suggest some introspection.

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#23 Posted by mesoian (1621 posts) -

@samface6 said:

I've just been dumped after a 6 month relationship, and it's far from my first break up, but it still fucking sucks. A lot.

I'm fighting with feelings of worthlessness, complete loneliness, not knowing what to do with myself.

I often find myself randomly standing in the middle of a room staring into space, not wanting to move or do any of the things I usually like.

What are some ways you guys have gotten through a bad break up?

Prepare for a very real chemical withdrawal, similar to the sensation of quitting smoking or hard drugs. People often underestimate their dependency on their significant other until they're no longer around.

As a few other people have stated earlier, a great way to work through this feeling is physically. Start working out or work out more often if you already do. Focus on hobbies and things that bring you pleasure. When you feel like you're ready to start again, get out into the field and start shopping around. My personal advice though is not to fall into bed with absolutely anyone just to try and sate those feelings that are no doubt bombarding you. Rebound sex has a bad habit of going horribly wrong 2 or 3 weeks afterwards, especially if you're considering it to be a surrogate for your ex rather than a one night stand. Let the girl who you're meant to be with fall into you, but expect to run into a lot of misses when you're on the prowl

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#24 Posted by rambo35 (18 posts) -

Ice cream and a romcom?

Anybody?

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#25 Posted by DeanoXD (701 posts) -

@ajamafalous said:

@DeanoXD said:

6 months, your first break up,

@samface6 said:

it's far from my first break up,

Pretty sure you misread that.

Sorry i missed that, but my advice stands. Because standing in a room trying to figure out the what if's and why's just means life is passing you by.

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#26 Edited by jacksukeru (6526 posts) -

I usually start by burying the body.

It takes care of the problem and the digging soothes my nerves so it's two birds.

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#27 Posted by FoxySaurus (16 posts) -

@RockmanBionics: Fantastic XD

Anyhow! I'd say there's no right thing to do. try not to be in contact with them and avoid them for 2 weeks. The 2 week rule is brilliant. Boosts the process for me anyway. While you're doing that, Skyrim it up.

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#28 Posted by BonOrbitz (2461 posts) -
Time heals all, but in the meantime take solace in your friends (and hit the club.)
Time heals all, but in the meantime take solace in your friends (and hit the club.)
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#29 Posted by JuicyDrop (29 posts) -

occupy your mind with something else. Work helps a lot. Whatever you do for your living - do more. Find a new hobby, start learning a new language. This won't heal your heart in a moment, but it will help you to file off the whole thing.

getting drunk with friends might also be helpful for a night but then you'll only feel pity to yourself.

P.S. It's gonna be allright soon! You will see.

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#30 Posted by Alexandruxx (248 posts) -

Get yourself a whore

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#31 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6117 posts) -

The obvious answer, drink booze. At least the hangover will take your mind off of the heartbreak, a worthwhile trade in my experience.

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#32 Posted by tunaburn (2017 posts) -

6 months? dude ive been with my girl 5 years and shes leaving me for the army. i know it sucks.... but it could be worse.

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#33 Posted by Leviticus128 (247 posts) -

@samface6: I highly recommend you read 'an abundance of katherines' by john green. It's an amzing book about a guy who gets dumped and isn't quite sure what to do. I ended up reading it completely by accident just after I'd been dumped and it put me on the right track. Here's a quick quote:

“But monotony doesn't make for painlessness. In the first century CE, Roman authorities punished St. Appollonia by crushing her teeth one by one with pliers. Colin often thought about this in relationship to the monotony of dumping: we have thirty two teeth. After a while, having each tooth individually destroyed probably gets repetitive, even dull. But it never stops hurting.”

Hope this helps and chin up duder :)

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#34 Posted by ElCapitan (486 posts) -

Tough break, man. It's never easy to deal with a break-up. Just do what feels natural, but don't get too insular/introverted. Try to keep yourself around other people, keep social, and keep distracted. Avoid saying no to social engagements if your only alternative is hanging out solo doing nothing. Just being out there among friends and loved ones will help you feel better

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#35 Posted by Dagbiker (7038 posts) -
No Caption Provided
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#36 Posted by Dookysharpgun (622 posts) -

Trying to define yourself after any kind of relationship is rough as a bear's arse, but over time, you'll eventually figure out where you stand.

I'd say just sit around and play games. Failing that, go out and drink. If that doesn't work, watch 'The Room' - directed by Tommy Wiseau, and see just how good you have it! Hell, I remember that I'm not Tommy Wiseau when I'm feeling down, and it automatically cheers me up!

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#37 Posted by jakob187 (22868 posts) -

@samface6: Get the sand out of your vagina, get wasted, and go fuck someone else. Hell, avoid relationships at all costs. They are the downfall of mankind.

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#38 Posted by plaintomato (616 posts) -

Figure out what/something you want to do with your life and do it (the feelings of worthlessness thing kind of suggests you maybe haven't done that yet). Screw money and women unless they come to you from doing and being what you want to do and be. Don't be tying yourself to someone who wants you to be something you don't want to be, which is usually what happened when someone gets themselves dumped because obviously you didn't live up to some expectation(s) or other(s).

Chicks and money come and go...until you've got kids to worry about, let them.

That's good life advice dude. Take it. Get over the loss by realizing it wasn't what you wanted if it wanted something from you that you didn't want or intend to pursue/be. Like they say, there're plenty of fish in the sea, just put yourself in the right place and you'll end up catching the right fish. If your not in the right place, there aren't any right fish there anyway so quit wishing there were.

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#39 Posted by ShaunK (1613 posts) -

@Dagbiker said:

No Caption Provided

That took way too long for someone to post on here. Thank you Dag.

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#40 Posted by RazzaTazz (29 posts) -

I like the "burning everything they ever gave you" approach.

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#41 Posted by OllyOxenFree (5015 posts) -

Play some goddamn video games.

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#42 Posted by gamefreak9 (2877 posts) -

DON't play Braid... that ruined my mourning period by extending it to like 3 times the length of the relationship... Also i had the girl for 1 year, and its been 3...sniff

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#43 Posted by the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG (4312 posts) -

Make new memories with other people.  After a break up I always think of the good times I had with my ex so I figured making new memories with other people will help distract my mind for a while.  This distraction eventually turns permanent.  Just get out there and hang out with people

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#44 Posted by Hypertreb (108 posts) -

I am in a similar situation. Dumped after 7 months. I just played Skyrim, and talked to a lot of different people. After that, I got better.

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#45 Posted by fox01313 (5186 posts) -

Listen to the Smiths/Morrissey while driving to meet with friends. Get your mind off the other person as they have most likely already done the same (sorry but true), go have fun & meet more people. GLHB!

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#46 Posted by pjacobson21 (215 posts) -

distractions man, I am going to go out on a limb here and assume you like video games?
 
Also, fake it 'til you make it man.  If you feel like shit, walking around thinking about how shitty you feel, going to friends for sympathy since your life is apparently so shitty, and generally embracing your shitty situation is just gonna ensure you stay feeling like shit.  Go out of your way to act cheerful, even if you don't feel cheerful.  Even if you're faking these positive emotions, you'd be surprised that after faking it for a while you wont even be faking it anymore.

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#47 Posted by Julmust (1640 posts) -
  • Get a huge stack of comic books
  • Impress the ladies
  • Fuck
  • Win
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#48 Posted by iam3green (14368 posts) -

video game forum 
girlfriend
breakup
doesn't compute 
 
never had a girlfriend...

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#49 Edited by NTM (9568 posts) -

You pretty much just get over it by doing other things, like your favorite hobbies, hanging with family, etc even if you think it's hard at first. Anything to just get your mind off of that depressing feeling. It may take a while, but just know that you'll feel better eventually and not all is lost. By the way, next time you should probably think really hard about relationships. Try to find someone you really think is the one, because otherwise you're going to keep getting in this situation.

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#50 Posted by Red (6146 posts) -

Music. Just sit down, and listen to some moody, depressing albums featuring little more than a dude and a guitar. (I'd recommend Bon Iver's For Emma, Forever Ago, but that's just because I'm pretentious). Also, working out can be a good way to get your mind off things, especially if you are working out to some blasting dance pop. Just get into a new routine.