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#1 Posted by Aegon (5750 posts) -

When you meet a new group of people or just one or two individuals, whether it's in real life or through the web, how well received are you? Are you easily accepted? Can you see the subtle clues telling you you'll never be welcome there or are they pretty blatant about not wanting you there? I guess I'm saying this because a lot of times when I'm "part of a group" and we're learning info about each other, if that group happens to be atheist and they learn that I'm a Jew, things don't go very well. I'm not saying that all atheists can't accept someone different, but I just haven't had much luck with many of them. The one exception is my best friend (for around 13 years now), but he's become a deist recently, and really, we were friends at such a young age that it didn't really affect us. Plus he also comes from a Jewish family. I find that I'm a lot more accepted by people who are religious, whether they're Jewish or not. Like one of my other best friends who's Muslim and is more curious about my belief system than he is judgmental. 

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#2 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -

I'm the opposite as you, met some new people, they were Christians, I'm Atheist, they found out and now no longer talk to me.

#3 Posted by Doctorchimp (4078 posts) -

Is it racist that I thought you misspelled dentist when you were talking about your jewish friend?

#4 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@H2Oyea said:

Can you see the subtle clues telling you you'll never be welcome there or are they pretty blatant about not wanting you there?

WHY DO THESE IMAGINARY PEOPLE HATE ME SO!?

#5 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19373 posts) -

I don't meet people.

#6 Posted by Danteveli (1207 posts) -

Hot girls throw their panties on me and dudes punch themselves out

#7 Posted by ashogo (943 posts) -

I am very, very slow at getting comfortable around people, so I would say I don't mesh well.

In my case it's not a matter of clashing beliefs or personalities usually so much as my inability to lower my guard. In fact, I'm not sure that it has even happened with anyone in recent years; I always seems to partition myself off from the surroundings.

#8 Posted by pyromagnestir (4332 posts) -

I make a terrible first impression on everyone I meet. I think.

What happened with these atheists, if you don't mind talking a bit more about it? Being a non believer of religion myself I'm wondering if I'm unintentionally fucking up in that regard and making people uncomfortable. I don't think I'm a dick about it, though. I do joke about it, but I joke about everything and everyone, and no one more so than myself.

@Doctorchimp: Hah! Probably. But still, hah!

#9 Posted by Aegon (5750 posts) -
@Video_Game_King said:

@H2Oyea said:

Can you see the subtle clues telling you you'll never be welcome there or are they pretty blatant about not wanting you there?

WHY DO THESE IMAGINARY PEOPLE HATE ME SO!?

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#10 Posted by uniform (1837 posts) -

Well-received, until my true self comes out and they find out I'm a curmudgeon.

#11 Posted by ImmortalSaiyan (4698 posts) -

I have a 73 on Metacritic.

#12 Posted by Aegon (5750 posts) -
@pyromagnestir said:

I make a terrible first impression on everyone I meet. I think.

What happened with these atheists, if you don't mind talking a bit more about it? Being a non believer of religion myself I'm wondering if I'm unintentionally fucking up in that regard and making people uncomfortable. I don't think I'm a dick about it, though. I do joke about it, but I joke about everything and everyone, and no one more so than myself.

@Doctorchimp: Hah! Probably. But still, hah!

Basically constantly making Jew jokes and trying to make me feel inferior to them. Telling me how stupid and primitive I am for believing it. 
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#13 Posted by Elazul (1327 posts) -

@CL60 said:

I'm the opposite as you, met some new people, they were Christians, I'm Atheist, they found out and now no longer talk to me.

Yup, this has mostly been my experience. I've never given a shit about what religion any of my friends or associates follow, but have had several instances of religious friends (or I guess ex-friends) becoming completely fixated on converting me after finding out I'm an Atheist. Never had anyone straight up cut contact with me because of it though.

#14 Posted by JacDG (2128 posts) -

@ImmortalSaiyan said:

I have a 73 on Metacritic.

Sorry, you have to get at least an 80 or an 85 for it to matter, we are going to have to fire half of your dev-team.

#15 Posted by BormahAl (68 posts) -

I leave people wondering what the fuck just happened.

#16 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

@ashogo said:

I am very, very slow at getting comfortable around people, so I would say I don't mesh well.

#17 Posted by TobbRobb (4809 posts) -

I'm usually fairly well received early on. What breaks most relationships for me is rather that I don't receive people very well myself.

When you genuinely DONT CARE about someone, it's kinda hard to have them like you. I just have a really short attentionspan for people who don't interest me in some way.

#18 Posted by S0ndor (2716 posts) -

I am ridiculously sarcastic about almost everything. So I'm sure I rub at least some people the wrong way. Then again, there are plenty of people in my environment that I don't care about either, so it's all good.

#19 Edited by Kidavenger (3597 posts) -

Why are you talking to people you just met about religion?

If people you have known for awhile and get along well with are abandoning you once they find out, well that just sounds insane to me.

#20 Posted by Aegon (5750 posts) -
@Kidavenger said:

Why are you talking to people you just met about religion?

I'm not, but it comes about when we learn more about each other. They ask thing like, what nationality are you? And I can only say I'm Jewish. It's my nationality and religion. You may think that's strange, but it's true.
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#21 Posted by Scrawnto (2461 posts) -

Odd that things would go poorly for you while hanging out with a group of atheists. I'm one myself, and I've never been standoffish to a person simply because they were religious, unless they were all hellfire and brimstone about it. I'm quite surprised that they would make religious jokes, especially with intent to demean. I've had Jewish, Protestant Christian, and Russian Orthodox roommates in the past. It's not a deciding factor in my friend making. I just don't particularly care to have deep conversations on the topic.

Anyway, I've never been straight shunned, but I just sort of fade into the background in most cases. I'm pretty much a wallflower in every sense but the original. I have a lot of casual friends that I'll sit and chat with at lunch, but very few close friends.

#22 Posted by pyromagnestir (4332 posts) -

@H2Oyea: Well they just sound like dicks.

I don't think I'm that bad. I make dickish jokes, but tend to keep race and religion out of it. I keep my dickish jokes related to less personal stuff, like my desires to fuck their sisters or girlfriends or mothers. Or their miserable, empty existences mired with failure and stupidity. You know, real innocuous stuff.

I'm beginning to realize why I have no friends...

#23 Edited by Kidavenger (3597 posts) -

@H2Oyea said:

@Kidavenger said:

Why are you talking to people you just met about religion?

I'm not, but it comes about when we learn more about each other. They ask thing like, what nationality are you? And I can only say I'm Jewish. It's my nationality and religion. You may think that's strange, but it's true.

Are you the one bringing it up? really the only thing that bothers me about religious people (no matter what their belief) is when they want to talk about religion.

#24 Posted by Contrarian (1143 posts) -

I make a generally good impression to begin with. Then it is a fast fownhill, ice covered road to a bad impression after. I can live with that.

#25 Posted by medacris (669 posts) -

I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. I was always the weird, quiet one who stood out as a kid, so I always worry when I'm in a group of new people that I won't be received well. I try to pick my words very carefully, just in case. I'm probably just worrying too much, though.

I consider myself agnostic/unsure right now, but I was raised Jewish. I'm nonchalant about people telling me what they believe in, I don't judge, but I remember twice people acting really...I guess rude would be the best way to put it, when I told them I was Jewish. I didn't take it personally, but I was still a little confused.

#26 Posted by GunslingerPanda (4845 posts) -

I don't care if you're Jewish; I'll be your friend. /hug

#27 Edited by NegativeCero (3024 posts) -

@JacDG said:

@ImmortalSaiyan said:

I have a 73 on Metacritic.

Sorry, you have to get at least an 80 or an 85 for it to matter, we are going to have to fire half of your dev-team.

His parents? Are you saying you're going to murder either his mom or dad?

As for me, it takes time for me to get comfortable with people, so I guess not especially well.

#28 Posted by CornBREDX (5774 posts) -

I avoid groups. People scare me. So I don't know.

I'm usually pretty popular though when I actually decide to talk to people. I'm a nice guy, all-be-it I know i'm an arrogant prick sometimes. I don't think I'm as bad as I used to be, though.

I don't know. Hard for me to say.

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#29 Posted by Jimbo (9925 posts) -

You're from Jew? What?

#30 Edited by Aegon (5750 posts) -
@Kidavenger said:

@H2Oyea said:

@Kidavenger said:

Why are you talking to people you just met about religion?

I'm not, but it comes about when we learn more about each other. They ask thing like, what nationality are you? And I can only say I'm Jewish. It's my nationality and religion. You may think that's strange, but it's true.

Are you the one bringing it up? really the only thing that bothers me about religious people (no matter what their belief) is when they want to talk about religion.

I don't forcefully bring it up. They ask questions and prod and prod and love to make fun. Orthodox Judaism doesn't believe in trying to convert people. If someone wants to, they can try to convert. So there's no point in me trying to forcefully tell atheists the specifics of Judaism, why it's awesome and why they should be one of us. If you don't want to, cool, whatevs. Just don't mess with me.   
 
@pyromagnestir said:

@H2Oyea: Well they just sound like dicks.

I don't think I'm that bad. I make dickish jokes, but tend to keep race and religion out of it. I keep my dickish jokes related to less personal stuff, like my desires to fuck their sisters or girlfriends or mothers. Or their miserable, empty existences mired with failure and stupidity. You know, real innocuous stuff.

I'm beginning to realize why I have no friends...

Yeah um...that sounds like some hurtful stuff. Wow.  
  
@Jimbo said:

You're from Jew? What?

I was born in Israel, my ancestors lived in Azerbaijan, before then in Persia, before then in Babylon, before then in Israel. It makes no difference where my parents lived. We descended from Israelites and now they're known as Jews to the world, so I'm Jewish. Also, you realize there used to be a place called Judea and The Kingdom of Judah, right?
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#31 Posted by wewantsthering (1586 posts) -

I tend to relate better to adults than people my age (although I am technically an adult anyways). I tend to hit it off people right away, hang out a ton for a month a two, but then only talk every couple of years. With girls it's because they were only interested in dating most of the time and I wasn't at the time and with guys it's because I'm a jerk and offend people.

@CL60 said:

I'm the opposite as you, met some new people, they were Christians, I'm Atheist, they found out and now no longer talk to me.

That's really lame. :-( My group of friends is a collection of beliefs. It works both ways though. I've had similar stuff as a Christian before. Beliefs are so core to people's lives that when someone disagrees with it, it's harder to maintain that relationship vs someone who shares your beliefs. Jesus was hanging out with thieves and prostitutes so I'm not sure where they get they idea they should stay away from you (not implying that you're a prostitute. lol).

#32 Posted by JacDG (2128 posts) -

@NegativeCero said:

@JacDG said:

@ImmortalSaiyan said:

I have a 73 on Metacritic.

Sorry, you have to get at least an 80 or an 85 for it to matter, we are going to have to fire half of your dev-team.

His parents? Are you saying you're going to murder either his mom or dad?

I'm sorry, but we are not ready to talk about that right now.

#33 Posted by pyromagnestir (4332 posts) -

@H2Oyea said:

@pyromagnestir said:

@H2Oyea: Well they just sound like dicks.

I don't think I'm that bad. I make dickish jokes, but tend to keep race and religion out of it. I keep my dickish jokes related to less personal stuff, like my desires to fuck their sisters or girlfriends or mothers. Or their miserable, empty existences mired with failure and stupidity. You know, real innocuous stuff.

I'm beginning to realize why I have no friends...

Yeah um...that sounds like some hurtful stuff. Wow.

Heh. Those last two paragraphs were me joking. My material runs dark sometimes, but it seems to play well in person.

My jokes with my friends are limited to my miserable, empty existence mired with failure and stupidity.

Ok I really just thought up and really liked the phrase "miserable, empty existence mired with failure and stupidity," for some reason, and wanted to say it. It's phrases like that which make me think I might actually be able to write something worthwhile someday. I'm delusional, of course.

#34 Posted by TheVeteran13 (1214 posts) -

I have perfected the art of being the likeable asshole.

#35 Edited by Scrawnto (2461 posts) -

@wewantsthering:Same here. My dungeon master in D&D was one of the most devout Christian's I ever knew. In fact, he's currently attending Seminary so that he can be a minister. It's totally possible for people of different beliefs to be friends. Granted, I tend to pass over most of his facebook posts that tend to be about one passage from the bible or another, but he's still a great guy.

@H2Oyea: The most I'd ever ask of my Jewish friends is whether they follow the dietary restrictions. That's actually useful information if I'm going to invite them over for dinner or something. Ah who am I kidding? I never invite anyone over for dinner.

#36 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

People like me and love me very quickly no matter my beliefs or political views. I've been told that I have an honest face.

#37 Posted by MikkaQ (10326 posts) -

Maybe it's part of the supposed "politeness" of Canadians (psh yeah, right) but that kind of stuff almost never comes up in group conversations. I have basically no idea about the religious affiliations and beliefs of all but maybe 3 of my friends, and that's cause I was either raised with them or saw them convert.

Something like that wouldn't factor into how I pick my friends anyway, because frankly it doesn't make any difference.

Nationality comes up a lot more, anyway. Almost all my friends are either immigrants or have immigrants parents (like me). And because Toronto is such a multi-cultural city, it's a pretty common subject to talk about the country you're from. In fact, I have very few friends who would have been descendants of the English from the colonial days. Guess that's just my Frenchness naturally filtering them out. As you can see I'm used to making joking jabs at other people's (and my own) nationalities, but it's never a reason to reject people in-hand.

#38 Posted by Aegon (5750 posts) -
@MikkaQ: I live in Toronto  -_-
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#39 Posted by mandude (2669 posts) -

Depends on where I am. I've noticed that in America, if religion or the fact that I dropped out of school (ascended above?) comes up at all, I'm pretty screwed. Other than that, I am pretty good in new social situations, but for the life of me I will never understand them.

#40 Posted by crazyleaves (648 posts) -
@TheVeteran13

I have perfected the art of being the likeable asshole.

Pretty much this.
#41 Posted by WickedFather (1733 posts) -

Thing is, I'm fucking awesome and some people are taken aback by that, and think they'll never be able to really be my friends because they're no awesome enough.  I'll make some jokes and do some backflips n shit and maybe stumble against a piano and make up a song for some girl on the spot that'll make her happy until she dies and some people roll with it and we'll do some low fives, others will scowl and maybe we'll meet in an alleyway - 20 of them, one of me and I'm the only one to walk away without a crease on their suit.
 
Seriously, you can't please everyone.  And if you do there's an extra-dimension of aliens still curling their lips though their trans-dimensio-scanners that I'll eventually have to fuck up hand-to-hand.

#42 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6400 posts) -

On the web? Great; everything goes fine. When I am introduced to a person that doesn't know of any reputation I have garnered from my past peers? Usually Fantastic; we hit it off most of the time (of course there are some outliers, but that is common with just about everyone). When they know of my reputation from my peers? Sometimes fine, but often just okay. Reputation is a huge thing as a teenager, and it's not my favorite thing but I only have a year or two left of putting up with that so thank god.

I can be pretty referential, dark, vulgar and sarcastic in my humor, and outgoing overall in my personality and some people find that to be a turn-off, but in my experience people tend to like me once we just hang out for a few minutes.

#43 Posted by believer258 (12066 posts) -

Not badly at all, in general, though I can hardly say I'm a big talker.

#44 Edited by Sooty (8082 posts) -

I'm from England so nobody gives a flying fuck what religion you are. Isn't society great?

#45 Edited by SeriouslyNow (8534 posts) -

@H2Oyea said:

@pyromagnestir said:

I make a terrible first impression on everyone I meet. I think.

What happened with these atheists, if you don't mind talking a bit more about it? Being a non believer of religion myself I'm wondering if I'm unintentionally fucking up in that regard and making people uncomfortable. I don't think I'm a dick about it, though. I do joke about it, but I joke about everything and everyone, and no one more so than myself.

@Doctorchimp: Hah! Probably. But still, hah!

Basically constantly making Jew jokes and trying to make me feel inferior to them. Telling me how stupid and primitive I am for believing it.

So they're less atheists and more racist arseholes.

Nazis said that shit too btw. All you had to do was punch the ever loving crap out of one of them. The rest would've crumbled.

#46 Posted by Cyrus_Saren (538 posts) -

Not well. It takes time for me to be comfortable around people and even if they end up learning to deal with the fact that I'm not a big talker and am extremely quiet for that long, they usually don't stay around for too much longer when they realize I'm a misanthrope.

#47 Posted by Winternet (8034 posts) -

You guys tell me.

#48 Posted by innacces14 (736 posts) -

I'm well received. Just a matter of understanding the vibe in the room and playing to it.

One time I was talking to my buddies on the parking lot of a Denny's around 3 am. Just telling them about the whole EVE online thing where one guy suckered the entire community out of 700 billion isk or something of that sort. A car rolled by carrying a bunch of the cholo/gangster types and one of them just walked in our direction and started listening in. My friends got freaked out and thought they were gonna get killed, but I just asked the guy "how the party go?" and he said with faded eyes "pretty tight, man. Pretty tight". A bunch of hoochies walked out of the car and I asked "treating the hook-up to some dinner? haha" and he said "ya, man. Gotta keep the ladies curvy haha". Then I just asked "did you treat them to some Arrogant Bastard ale? Good stuff". He said naw and asked where he could get some. Pointed him to a liquor store that carried that and he shook my hand and was off.

His homies rolled by though and wanted to apologize. Said he got pretty hammered and had been budding in on everyone's circle the entire night. I said it was no problem and thought the talk was fun. After they left all of my friends took a huge breath and one of them said "oh man? If you didn't speech check that shit we would have totally gotten killed and beaten... in that order." But yeah. Play to the vibe and don't be a dick.

#49 Posted by Jeust (10795 posts) -

I'm generally well received.

#50 Posted by MikkaQ (10326 posts) -

@H2Oyea said:

@MikkaQ: I live in Toronto -_-

Get better friends, man. I don't know what to say.