I can't form meaningful relationships.

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HS21

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Edited By HS21

So I called this girl a 'whorebag'. 
 

   
Like so many of my attempts at a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex, this one didn't quite pan out either. I'm honestly at a loss here, I just don't see where I'm going wrong. I sometimes find myself laying in my bed awake at nights, staring at a custom made poster of myself laying in bed staring back at me, wondering "Why can't I find my soul mate ceiling me?" 
 
It's not like I'm not trying either, I've been on dates. What's even more baffling is that I personally believe that these dates went quite well, but nevertheless I usually never see her again and nothing ever comes from it. One time during a movie, my lady friend Tabitha and I were watching 'Coach Carter' and I leaned over and whispered into her ear "I can't wait until this relationship moves to the point where we have sexual intercourse and nine months later my beautiful children spring from your loins. Can I have a sip of your soda?" Obviously I thought that this portrayed me as a guy that was going to stick around, that I wasn't looking for a one night stand and was instead trying to pursue a real, lasting relationship.  
 
She said she had to go the bathroom but I never saw her again. When the movie ended I even paid for another two tickets and watched the next showing of Coach Carter. She never came back but now I can recite Coach Carter line for line at a whim, so I guess it wasn't a complete and total loss.   
 
 

 
I came to coach basketball players, and you became students. I came to teach boys, and you became men - Coach Ken Carter.
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HS21

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#1  Edited By HS21

So I called this girl a 'whorebag'. 
 

   
Like so many of my attempts at a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex, this one didn't quite pan out either. I'm honestly at a loss here, I just don't see where I'm going wrong. I sometimes find myself laying in my bed awake at nights, staring at a custom made poster of myself laying in bed staring back at me, wondering "Why can't I find my soul mate ceiling me?" 
 
It's not like I'm not trying either, I've been on dates. What's even more baffling is that I personally believe that these dates went quite well, but nevertheless I usually never see her again and nothing ever comes from it. One time during a movie, my lady friend Tabitha and I were watching 'Coach Carter' and I leaned over and whispered into her ear "I can't wait until this relationship moves to the point where we have sexual intercourse and nine months later my beautiful children spring from your loins. Can I have a sip of your soda?" Obviously I thought that this portrayed me as a guy that was going to stick around, that I wasn't looking for a one night stand and was instead trying to pursue a real, lasting relationship.  
 
She said she had to go the bathroom but I never saw her again. When the movie ended I even paid for another two tickets and watched the next showing of Coach Carter. She never came back but now I can recite Coach Carter line for line at a whim, so I guess it wasn't a complete and total loss.   
 
 

 
I came to coach basketball players, and you became students. I came to teach boys, and you became men - Coach Ken Carter.
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natetodamax

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#2  Edited By natetodamax
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Mrskidders

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#3  Edited By Mrskidders

If this is serious then you are an immature moron who doesn't deserve a meaningful relationship.  If this is trolling or a joke thread then good job.  Either way, I win the internet.

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Sticky_Pennies

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#4  Edited By Sticky_Pennies

This blog is the best blog.

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thedj93

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#5  Edited By thedj93

I think the problem is, you struck a little close to home with the insult "whorebag!" Who knows? Maybe someone very close to her is herself/himself a whorebag, and from personal experience I can tell you, the life of the whorebag is one is rather left not lived.

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mubblegum

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#6  Edited By mubblegum

This thread will probably be closed soon anyway.

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cap123

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#7  Edited By cap123

w/e u have no life

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HS21

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#8  Edited By HS21
@AnimZero said:
" This blog is the best blog. "
Your avatar is the best avatar. 
 
@thedj93 said:
" I think the problem is, you struck a little close to home with the insult "whorebag!" Who knows? Maybe someone very close to her is herself/himself a whorebag, and from personal experience I can tell you, the life of the whorebag is one is rather left not lived. "
In hindsight, yes it was  insensitive of me. But I thought honesty was important in a relationship? Even still, you're probably right. 
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MooseyMcMan

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#9  Edited By MooseyMcMan

And to think, I always thought women liked being called whorebags...

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wolf_blitzer85

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#10  Edited By wolf_blitzer85

Whorebag.

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Metroid545

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#11  Edited By Metroid545

shut up whorebag, this blog can't be serious hahaha

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JokerClown88

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#12  Edited By JokerClown88

No Caption Provided
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Termite

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#13  Edited By Termite

If you'd made the entire thing more subtle, with perhaps a single obvious giveaway, it would've been much funnier. Then again, that would've made it even more susceptible to misunderstanding.

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VWGTI

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#14  Edited By VWGTI

I see the humor, but it was all too obvious. It the trolling was a little more subtle it would have been hilarious.

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thedj93

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#15  Edited By thedj93
@MooseyMcMan:  I think that's only really applicable in the sack, right?
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HS21

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#16  Edited By HS21
@wolf_blitzer85 said:
" Whorebag. "
....being on the receiving end of that heinous insult, I can see where she was coming from. Thanks for opening my eyes.
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Lemoncookie01

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#17  Edited By Lemoncookie01

You should have called her a stinking whorebag. That would have shown her that you really loved her.

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sweep

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#18  Edited By sweep  Moderator

I'm terrified to venture out into the internet knowing that HS21 might be there, waiting for me...

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Arbie

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#19  Edited By Arbie
@Sweep said:
" I'm terrified to venture out into the internet knowing that HS21 might be there, waiting for me... "
It's the only reason I use the internet!
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deathstriker666

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#20  Edited By deathstriker666

don't you get so annoy, whorebag?

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AlwaysAngry

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#21  Edited By AlwaysAngry
@JokerClown88 said:
"
No Caption Provided
"
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Video_Game_King

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#22  Edited By Video_Game_King

I'd say that your hand will always be there for you, but knowing you, you'd drive that slut away. Hell, even her awkward, geeky sister won't touch you.

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mshaw006

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#23  Edited By mshaw006

I get the feeling you don't know how to be serious.

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CaptainObvious

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#24  Edited By CaptainObvious

No Caption Provided
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Ghostiet

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#25  Edited By Ghostiet

HS21 knows his whorebags, just like Tohru Adachi knows his bitches.

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wolf_blitzer85

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#26  Edited By wolf_blitzer85
@HS21 said:
" @wolf_blitzer85 said:
" Whorebag. "
....being on the receiving end of that heinous insult, I can see where she was coming from. Thanks for opening my eyes. "
Just doing whatever I can to help.
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Daveyo520

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#27  Edited By Daveyo520

Felix the Cat?

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EpicSteve

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#28  Edited By EpicSteve

No Caption Provided
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DrPockets000

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#29  Edited By DrPockets000

You can cut the fail with a knife.

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HS21

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#30  Edited By HS21
@Lemoncookie01 said:
" You should have called her a stinking whorebag. That would have shown her that you really loved her. "
Teach me. 
 
@Sweep said:
" I'm terrified to venture out into the internet knowing that HS21 might be there, waiting for me... "
You haven't logged onto Neopets in quite some time. I'll be waiting.
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Lemoncookie01

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#32  Edited By Lemoncookie01
@HS21 said:

" @Lemoncookie01 said:

" You should have called her a stinking whorebag. That would have shown her that you really loved her. "
Teach me. 
 
It can't not be taught,It must be learned through experience.
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Jazz

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#33  Edited By Jazz

... 
I don't see the problem here. 
It's not like she didn't ask for it.. 
 

No Caption Provided

You were just complimenting her on her fashion sense. 
 
I had a similar problem when I said to a lady friend of mine that her pink shoes were...and i quote 'very nice.' Of course what i was really saying was that I wasn't so sure that pink shoes and black dresses go together for a 28 year old. Alas she saw through my euphemistic ruse at first glance and then proceeded to scream at me for half an hour about my lack of fashion sense..which, to be fair was totally valid. Nevertheless, I have learnt never to question a woman's fashion sense..even if they are blatantly colourblind. 
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Drakhir

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#34  Edited By Drakhir

Awesome.

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HitmanAgent47

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#35  Edited By HitmanAgent47

lol

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HS21

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#36  Edited By HS21
@RiotBananas said:
" The girl is right, more on with your life. "
You're absolutely right, I am after all just a man how needs to grow some balls. 
 
@Lemoncookie01 said:
" @HS21 said:

" @Lemoncookie01 said:

" You should have called her a stinking whorebag. That would have shown her that you really loved her. "
Teach me. 
 
It can't not be taught,It must be learned through experience. "
Then I  better get some tickets to Grown Ups. Clearly I only take my dates to quality films. 
 
@Jazz said:
" ... 
I don't see the problem here. 
It's not like she didn't ask for it.. 
 

No Caption Provided
You were just complimenting her on her fashion sense.  I had a similar problem when I said to a lady friend of mine that her pink shoes were...and i quote 'very nice.' Of course what i was really saying was that I wasn't so sure that pink shoes and black dresses go together for a 28 year old. Alas she saw through my euphemistic ruse at first glance and then proceeded to scream at me for half an hour about my lack of fashion sense..which, to be fair was totally valid. Nevertheless, I have learnt never to question a woman's fashion sense..even if they are blatantly colourblind.  "
If we're both still single by the time we're 40....marriage pact? 
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Jazz

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#37  Edited By Jazz
@HS21:  
Only if we sign a pre-nup first.
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armaan8014

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#38  Edited By armaan8014
@HS21: 
Ahahaha! That was hilarious. 
Women, though. Why don't they understand?
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Ghostiet

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#40  Edited By Ghostiet
@Jaytow:
Horseshit.
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FirePrince

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#41  Edited By FirePrince

Amazing. 
Whorebag is now my catch-phrase. 
You whorebag.

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MiamiRedHawks

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#42  Edited By MiamiRedHawks
@HS21:  I thought you were an expert on girls. One of your previous blog posts claims you are. Now who am I going to turn to for all my relationship advice? You lied to me HS21!
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armaan8014

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#43  Edited By armaan8014

Well she DOES look like one

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ZeroCast

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#44  Edited By ZeroCast

No Caption Provided
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HS21

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#45  Edited By HS21
@Jazz said:

" @HS21:  Only if we sign a pre-nup first. "

Don't I have a face you can trust?  *_x 
 
@FirePrince said:
"

Amazing. 
Whorebag is now my catch-phrase. 
You whorebag.

"
Use it wisely, I didn't.  
 
@MiamiRedHawks said:
" @HS21:  I thought you were an expert on girls. One of your previous blog posts claims you are. Now who am I going to turn to for all my relationship advice? You lied to me HS21! "
An expert on girls, yes. But you need a woman to start a lasting relationship with. Once they get older and aren't naive and easily manipulated anymore, I lose control. 
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Jazz

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#46  Edited By Jazz
@HS21:  
It's not the face I'm worried about. 
I know about you and your philandering ways Mr HS21. 
I don't play that way.
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VladJasonDrac

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#47  Edited By VladJasonDrac

Cool blog bro. Will read someday

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penguindust

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#48  Edited By penguindust

Ah, welcome to the Giant Bomb Chuckle-Hut again.  Don't forget to tip your servers and please, try the veal.

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Tireyo

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#49  Edited By Tireyo

RRRIIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTT! = - \

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CoolDrMoney

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#50  Edited By CoolDrMoney

HS21? More like Hot Steaming 21 (Shits)