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Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

(I've talked about this on the site before. That I think there's this girl that might have a crush on me, Just to give people insight of what lead up to this. Here's the thread. I'm going to try to get to the point in this blog)

Yesterday, I met up with this girl that I think likes me or maybe she's nice. I was in the breakroom playing on my vita. She came in getting prepared for work and we waved at each other. Later on that day I've seen her again, and asked how her day was going. She was pissed-off at the store director. Basically she was wearing some type of emblem on her shirt, and the store director had a problem with it.

I told her I've had my issues with him aswell in the past. Then when it was time for her to get back to work. She asked ''want to walk with me?'', and I said ''sure its a slow day anyway''. So then we was just talking about random stuff. She mentioned that she has an older sister to pick up later on, and I asked ''how old was your sister''. She said ''she is 20'' then I asked about her age and she said ''I'm 18''.

Funny thing is I had a conversation with a co-worker that told me she was 17. Anyway moving on, she asked about my age I said ''I'm 21 going on 22''. She asked '' what month?'' I said ''September'', and then she asked ''what day?'' I said '' uhhh the 18th''. She smiled and said ''maybe I'll have to get you something'', and I'm like ''nah you don't have to do that'' (I hope she doesn't). So we got back to her work area and had one last brief chat, after that we went back to doing our jobs.

Later on, While I was working in the aisle I heard a lady say ''Sir can you help me with something''. I said sure m'am I turned around and long behold it was her. I was caught off guard and started laughing. Next thing we ending up chatting about stuff going on in our lives, and talked about our hobbies. Hell, we went walking around the store and I was completely ignoring my job, but at that moment I didn't care.

It was fun until she got a phone call and had to go, but one thing was on my mind. She mentioned that she walks to work while we was chatting, but earlier she said she had to pick up her sister. I thought that was weird because I'm assuming she has a car. I don't know if she's lying or not, but I just hope she's 18.

#1 Edited by Sterling (2323 posts) -

Ask the manager how old she is. Just bring it up as natural as possible in conversation. And then if she is 18, just straight up ask her out on a date. The end.

#2 Edited by ArtisanBreads (3860 posts) -

@sterling said:

Ask the manager how old she is. Just bring it up as natural as possible in conversation. And then if she is 18, just straight up ask her out on a date. The end.

yeah bro. You are over analyzing everything. She likes you, move on. Ask her and that's the end of it.

#3 Posted by Beyond_Recall (47 posts) -

17 is past the age of consent in most places anyway. You might risk becoming that creepy twenty-something dude who's going out with a high school girl, though.

Online
#4 Posted by Blu3V3nom07 (4212 posts) -

This sounds great, man. I woiuld ask her when's her birthday, and then follow up with "So, you're still in high school or what?", just to reiterate and get her to follow up if she's 18 or not.

#5 Posted by ottoman673 (517 posts) -

Maybe she was walking to her sister's work/somewhere she was?

Some of what you're saying bleeds that she's a tryhard to me, but she also could just be casually flirting. I'd say if she's not 18, though, burn that bridge. If she'd lie about her age, just imagine what else she'd lie about..

#6 Posted by gamefreak9 (2359 posts) -

I have a car and walk to work, I hate looking for parking around my work area + even if it was convenient, I think the walking puts me in a good mood...

#7 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

This sounds great, man. I woiuld ask her when's her birthday, and then follow up with "So, you're still in high school or what?", just to reiterate and get her to follow up if she's 18 or not.

I'm thinking of asking her friend that she works with about her age. To be honest I don't know what to do at this point, since this is at my job the whole thing feels awkward.

#8 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3860 posts) -

@blu3v3nom07 said:

This sounds great, man. I woiuld ask her when's her birthday, and then follow up with "So, you're still in high school or what?", just to reiterate and get her to follow up if she's 18 or not.

I'm thinking of asking her friend that she works with about her age. To be honest I don't know what to do at this point, since this is at my job the whole thing feels awkward.

why is it so awkward? Do you act like not a normal person at work? Don't flirt with anyone?

Do you not flirt with or hit on girls outside of work?

#9 Posted by Blu3V3nom07 (4212 posts) -

@blu3v3nom07 said:

This sounds great, man. I woiuld ask her when's her birthday, and then follow up with "So, you're still in high school or what?", just to reiterate and get her to follow up if she's 18 or not.

I'm thinking of asking her friend that she works with about her age. To be honest I don't know what to do at this point, since this is at my job the whole thing feels awkward.

Hmm. I don't know about that.. That might be okay, but if you ask her directly though, she might appreciate it some more. Either way though, it does seem that maybe you should just do the 'lets just be friends' thing. At least until her next birthday, or something. Concerts seem seem like a good friend thing to do.

#10 Posted by Tajasaurus (874 posts) -

What are your names? I want to write some fan fiction.

#11 Posted by ripelivejam (3980 posts) -

shoulder her touch

#12 Posted by Splodge (1621 posts) -

When I was 21 my girlfriend had just turned 18 when we started going out, it wasn't really a big deal. But if she had been 17 I probably would have felt a bit creepy.

#13 Edited by Ben_H (3362 posts) -

Err... just to be safe:

Also, be careful with the whole dating coworkers thing. It can get really awkward. Trust me on that one. I posted something about this that was happening to me at the time in your old thread. Things went south a bit and now work is kinda awkward.

#14 Edited by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@artisanbreads said:

@falserelic said:

@blu3v3nom07 said:

This sounds great, man. I woiuld ask her when's her birthday, and then follow up with "So, you're still in high school or what?", just to reiterate and get her to follow up if she's 18 or not.

I'm thinking of asking her friend that she works with about her age. To be honest I don't know what to do at this point, since this is at my job the whole thing feels awkward.

why is it so awkward? Do you act like not a normal person at work? Don't flirt with anyone?

Do you not flirt with or hit on girls outside of work?

It's awkward because I have a mindset of just being about business at work. Especially when I'm at a point in my life where I need to get things together, and if I mess that up I wouldn't know what to do. Also I suck at flirting with women it's not something I'm used too. When I was 330 pounds I was made fun of by chicks, and at that time I had a very negative mindset. It got so bad to the point where I didn't want to talk to anybody, but since I've lost the weight I broke out of it for most part.

#15 Posted by SoldierG654342 (1766 posts) -

In Florida, minors have to have a break for every four hours of work. I don't know what your states laws are, but you can try looking them up.

Or you could just ask her how old she is.

#16 Posted by 49th (2758 posts) -

Her story doesn't add up. She walks to work yet also picks up her sister? How strong are her arms? I'm guessing she does use a car and that was just a ruse. Another thing that makes me feel uneasy is the fact that she pretended to be a customer, that's suspicious. Best course of action - fake your own death.

#17 Posted by pyromagnestir (4324 posts) -

Maybe she was walking to her sister's work/somewhere she was?

Some of what you're saying bleeds that she's a tryhard to me, but she also could just be casually flirting. I'd say if she's not 18, though, burn that bridge. If she'd lie about her age, just imagine what else she'd lie about..

Hey, hey hey... let's not scare this guy off for something so obviously small. What young person doesn't want to lie about their age to seem a bit older, specially if there's a guy/girl they like who's a tiny bit older? When you're young you lie about being older, and when you're old you lie about being younger. That's how shit works.

Unless it turns out she's not even close to 18. But that's not so much the lying that's the problem, it's that she'd be a kid.

#18 Edited by ArtisanBreads (3860 posts) -

@falserelic: I don't think you need to take it as such a dire thing. It definitely can get weird if you date someone at work. I was just recently in the situation and had it be a bit weird and tense.

I used to be very shy with women so I understand going through a change in that area. I'll just say: sounds like she's interested in you. Figure out if she is of age and then if you like her, weigh that against your job.

You post about this so I take it you have interest in her. If you really do like her you should go for it. I did that recently and issues and all that were there for a little bit, I don't regret it and the girl was very worth it for me.

But also gauge how much you are interested in her. Maybe you aren't really interacting with a lot of girls and there are others you'd like more out there. Sounds like you need to go for it man. It can be awkward but once you just get some experience it gets way better. I strike out sometimes now and have a ton of fun with it. It's been a night and day difference. I'm not a guy who tries to sleep around with women all the time but I now have the confidence to go after a women who I'm interested in, where in the past I hadn't had the guts.

At some point, if you want to make a move or are interested, you have to stop over analyzing every detail and just do what feels right based off the vibe you get. Maybe you're wrong but that's part of the game.

#19 Posted by Splodge (1621 posts) -

@artisanbreads said:

@falserelic said:

@blu3v3nom07 said:

This sounds great, man. I woiuld ask her when's her birthday, and then follow up with "So, you're still in high school or what?", just to reiterate and get her to follow up if she's 18 or not.

I'm thinking of asking her friend that she works with about her age. To be honest I don't know what to do at this point, since this is at my job the whole thing feels awkward.

why is it so awkward? Do you act like not a normal person at work? Don't flirt with anyone?

Do you not flirt with or hit on girls outside of work?

It's awkward because I have a mindset of just being about business at work. Especially when I'm at a point in my life where I need to get things together, and if I mess that up I wouldn't know what to do. Also I suck at flirting with women it's not something I'm used too. When I was 330 pounds I was made fun of by chicks, and at that time I had a very negative mindset. It got so bad to the point where I didn't want to talk to anybody, but since I've lost the weight I broke out of it for most part.

Good job on the weight loss.

Don't sweat it man. There's little to be lost from taking a chance every now and then, but maybe just keep chatting for a little while, but not too long. Then ask her out during a conversation. If she says yes, good stuff, if she says no, you might be surprised how good you feel that you had the stones.

the 17/18 thing? I think it would be an issue if you were trying to add her to some creepy spreadsheet but if you're sincere about it, in my opinion (for what it's worth), 17 is ok (maybe not sex depending on where you are, bu that's jumping the gun).

#20 Posted by xyzygy (9997 posts) -

Just sneak into your manager's office and get her file. While you're at it, you may as well look and see if she has any issues. Just to be safe.

Online
#21 Posted by whur (29 posts) -

There's too much thinking in this, just ask her out. More likely than not she's wondering why you haven't asked her out yet.

#22 Edited by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@artisanbreads said:

@falserelic: I don't think you need to take it as such a dire thing. It definitely can get weird if you date someone at work. I was just recently in the situation and had it be a bit weird and tense.

I used to be very shy with women so I understand going through a change in that area. I'll just say: sounds like she's interested in you. Figure out if she is of age and then if you like her, weigh that against your job.

You post about this so I take it you have interest in her. If you really do like her you should go for it. I did that recently and issues and all that were there for a little bit, I don't regret it and the girl was very worth it for me.

But also gauge how much you are interested in her. Maybe you aren't really interacting with a lot of girls and there are others you'd like more out there. Sounds like you need to go for it man. It can be awkward but once you just get some experience it gets way better. I strike out sometimes now and have a ton of fun with it. It's been a night and day difference. I'm not a guy who tries to sleep around with women all the time but I now have the confidence to go after a women who I'm interested in, where in the past I hadn't had the guts.

At some point, if you want to make a move or are interested, you have to stop over analyzing every detail and just do what feels right based off the vibe you get. Maybe you're wrong but that's part of the game.

You reminded me of my co-worker. We both talked about women that we wouldn't mind banging. I told him about april (The girl I was talking about in the blog). He said ''she got some pretty eyes, I would hit it'', and then says'' you want to hit it too, don't you?''. The difference between me and him is that he expresses himself. He told me that I should be playful with a chick first, then see what happens, and now I think I'll keep doing it just to see if something happens.

#23 Posted by Nux (2360 posts) -

I wouldn't worry too much about her age. I have a friend who is 21 and he is dating a 17 year old and they are both very happy together.

#24 Edited by ArtisanBreads (3860 posts) -

@falserelic:

He sure sounds like he expresses himself.

from what you're saying, it's already happened, in my opinion. If a girl asks you to hang out (even for a minute) and talk to her when she doesn't have to she obviously finds you interesting. Just get the age thing cleared up and ask her out.

That's how to find out. If she isn't interested, the worst that happens is she says no and that's it. It seems like a big deal but it really isn't. It'll be different hanging out outside of work and you can get a feel for her.

With the girl I mentioned in my post, we got along well at work but it wasn't til outside of work when things clicked and I became really into her.

So just go for that, make it something casual. Like say if you're both getting off work at a similar time, you can get something to eat nearby.

#25 Posted by Baillie (4181 posts) -

OH CHRIST! She better be 18 because 17 is like sooooooo much younger dude!!

#26 Edited by Winsord (1230 posts) -

When did the other co-worker tell you she was 17? If it was earlier in the year, it's certainly possible she's had a birthday. You could always also just bring it back up, "yesterday you asked when my Birthday is, but when's yours?" or whatever. Also, if she lives close to work, it wouldn't exactly be all that weird to walk...

#27 Posted by LiquidPrince (15952 posts) -

I don't see the problem with her being 17 when you're only 21 going on 22. Relationships within the 5 year age difference don't seem that weird to me, past the age of 16. I mean 16 and 21 is a tad weird, but not so weird that it is morally wrong or something. Especially if you've know the person for a while. Isn't there some sort of Romeo and Juliet law or whatever that says within 5 years is cool?

#28 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@baillie said:

OH CHRIST! She better be 18 because 17 is like sooooooo much younger dude!!

Yes, I know its not that much of a big difference. I just don't want it to come back and bite me in the nuts. I definitely don't want to be like my father. He met my mom when she was 16 and he was 21, he didn't give of shit at all that she was underage. I'm surprise that he didn't get caught at that time.

#29 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@winsord said:

When did the other co-worker tell you she was 17? If it was earlier in the year, it's certainly possible she's had a birthday. You could always also just bring it back up, "yesterday you asked when my Birthday is, but when's yours?" or whatever. Also, if she lives close to work, it wouldn't exactly be all that weird to walk...

She's been working there for only a month. He chatted with her before, but I don't know if he misheard her by mistake or not.

#30 Posted by Mark (95 posts) -

I used to love working in grocery stores when cute stuff like this happens :) I say at the very least quit worrying - why not not worry about her age when you two can just hang out sometime?

#31 Posted by Winsord (1230 posts) -

@winsord said:

When did the other co-worker tell you she was 17? If it was earlier in the year, it's certainly possible she's had a birthday. You could always also just bring it back up, "yesterday you asked when my Birthday is, but when's yours?" or whatever. Also, if she lives close to work, it wouldn't exactly be all that weird to walk...

She's been working there for only a month. He chatted with her before, but I don't know if he misheard her by mistake or not.

Alright, that sounds a bit more suspicious than it did originally, haha. Still, I'd just ask her when her Birthday is (of course, then she might expect you to get her a gift!).

#32 Edited by Zeik (2448 posts) -

@baillie said:

OH CHRIST! She better be 18 because 17 is like sooooooo much younger dude!!

Yes, I know its not that much of a big difference. I just don't want it to come back and bite me in the nuts. I definitely don't want to be like my father. He met my mom when she was 16 and he was 21, he didn't give of shit at all that she was underage. I'm surprise that he didn't get caught at that time.

It's really not that big of a deal if you're not having sex. You don't seem the type that would want to get into her pants as soon as possible, so I don't think it's worth worrying about too much.

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#33 Posted by liquidsnakegfer9 (151 posts) -

Man go for it and ask her out, I hope you post again about it, I'm eager to hear more for whatever reason

#34 Posted by falserelic (5437 posts) -

@zeik said:

@falserelic said:

@baillie said:

OH CHRIST! She better be 18 because 17 is like sooooooo much younger dude!!

Yes, I know its not that much of a big difference. I just don't want it to come back and bite me in the nuts. I definitely don't want to be like my father. He met my mom when she was 16 and he was 21, he didn't give of shit at all that she was underage. I'm surprise that he didn't get caught at that time.

It's really not that big of a deal if you're not having sex. You don't seem the type that would want to get into her pants as soon as possible, so I don't think it's worth worrying about too much.

True.

Aleast I'm not like my co-worker. Even though he has 4 kids and a girlfriend. He's still flirting with the female co-workers. He managed to get a number from one of them, and screw up his chances with another worker by playing too much.

#35 Posted by TheManWithNoPlan (5524 posts) -

Maybe her place of residence is close enough to her job that she doesn't need to drive and can just walk. Just throwing that out there.

#36 Posted by DeadpanCakes (914 posts) -

I'd say ask her straight out about her birthday. I mean, she asked you so it's fair game to ask her. Just be like, "So when's your birthday?" and then you follow up with some nonsense like, "so you just turned 18/will be turning 19? That's '96...'95?" and then start talking about the 90's or early 2000's or something. I doubt one small talk-ish question alone'll ruin a whole conversation, especially considering she's the one who's been approaching you. I appreciate that it's really not that simple, but I think it's the best a person over the internet can provide.

Worst case scenario it doesn't turn into anything (whether because of age reasons or otherwise) and you both go about with your own lives (which honestly, isn't as bad as stressing out about the potential rough patches of a relationship). Sounds like she's at the very least interested in your company though, so I'd imagine a more realistic worst case is you end up with a friend who just happens to be 17- somebody to talk to on slow/shitty days at work, and to hang out with on occasion, so that still sounds good to me.

On a related note, I recently attended one of my kid-cousin's birthday party, and one of her friends talked to me the whole day. Somewhere in the middle though, she asked about my age and after letting her know I was an adult (I look rather young for my age) and insinuating I wasn't interested in dating a 15(14?...16, maybe?) year old, nothing really changed. We still talked for the rest of the party, and I was significantly less bored than I probably should've been in a 15 year old girl's birthday party. Point I'm trying to make is, if you're worried about seeming creepy or making a major mistake, I don't think you should (at least, not to the extent that you're stressing out). The way you've spoken about this person, and the concerns you express make it seem, to me, that you don't really have those aggressively ill-intentions that would lead to an extremely bad outcome.

#37 Posted by DrDarkStryfe (1118 posts) -

It is not worth the eventual hassle to date someone you work with.

#38 Edited by Nodima (1203 posts) -

I think you shouldn't think very much about her at all, at least not enough to ask randoms on the internet about it. What I've gathered from this story is you work with her and got along for a shift, just because you're a boy and she's a girl doesn't make it a special situation. That said, just ask her what her birthday is, spout off some BS about astrological signs or what you like about the weather that month and move on. If this blossoms into a relationship congratulations but at this point you should be thinking about being her friend, not whether she's playing a game with you or some mystical pre-college virgin or whatever may be running through your head. She's just cute and likes you (but whether she like likes you would be determined by way more than hanging out during a shift at work where both of you are desperate for any interaction that doesn't feel robotic or forced).

Also, as someone who's creeping up on 26 years old, I'll let you know that dating someone younger, as a male, generally makes sense (I'm currently dating someone who just turned 22) for a variety of reasons I attribute to men in this age being much younger-minded than similarly-aged women, but someone who hasn't spent any time on a college campus or at least spending their life as a true adult is a very strange person to hang out with past a certain point. Maybe you're young enough they still just seem like a peer, but eventually you just feel strange about all the stuff they don't know or understand - sexually, legally, places to hang out and so on.

#39 Posted by csl316 (8696 posts) -

@sterling said:

Ask the manager how old she is. Just bring it up as natural as possible in conversation. And then if she is 18, just straight up ask her out on a date. The end.

yeah bro. You are over analyzing everything. She likes you, move on. Ask her and that's the end of it.

Jesus Christ, I'm replying to one of these threads, but you really are overanalyzing. Reminds me of me at your age.

Just go for it at this point, or you'll regret it forever. FOREVER!

#40 Edited by Milkman (16807 posts) -

I can't for the life of me figure out which part of this situation is a problem. Chris Hansen is not going to show up at your house for dating a 17 year old.

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#41 Edited by I_Stay_Puft (3408 posts) -

That'd be pretty funny if the girl also frequented this site and gave you advice on what to do next.

Anyways, good luck!

#42 Posted by joshwent (2208 posts) -

@milkman said:

Chris Hansen is not going to show up at your house for dating a 17 year old.

I'm sure it never is a problem for 99% of couples, but in the US at least there can be very real and very permanent criminal repercussions of someone who's 21 having sex with a 17 year old, even if it's consensual.

Although, at the pace @falserelic is going, she'll be 34 before that even enters into it. ;)

(not trying to talk shit, buddy... just make a damn move already!)

#43 Posted by development (2354 posts) -

@milkman said:

I can't for the life of me figure out which part of this situation is a problem. Chris Hansen is not going to show up at your house for dating a 17 year old.

Yeah, this. You guys are so weird. None of this matters.

#44 Posted by Milkman (16807 posts) -

@joshwent: I have no idea where the OP lives (if he's even American) but in most states, the age of consent is 16 or 17.

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#45 Posted by Zomgfruitbunnies (794 posts) -

@zeik said:

@falserelic said:

@baillie said:

OH CHRIST! She better be 18 because 17 is like sooooooo much younger dude!!

Yes, I know its not that much of a big difference. I just don't want it to come back and bite me in the nuts. I definitely don't want to be like my father. He met my mom when she was 16 and he was 21, he didn't give of shit at all that she was underage. I'm surprise that he didn't get caught at that time.

It's really not that big of a deal if you're not having sex. You don't seem the type that would want to get into her pants as soon as possible, so I don't think it's worth worrying about too much.

Except if she wants to get into @falserelic's pants. If he says no, she's going to ask why and it might become the "oh, so you don't trust me" argument. Those never quite work out. Get to know her a little better, OP. Ideally, you wait until she's confirmed legal, but the risk is that the chance might slip away before then.

#46 Posted by bigmess (86 posts) -

Well, what's your social link at right now with her?

#47 Posted by Quid_Pro_Bono (277 posts) -

I don't date people I work with. It gets super complicated super fast, especially if you get promoted above someone you used to date.

PS not for nothing but what you're describing sounds like a friendly workplace relationship, not necessarily someone chatting you up for a date. Regardless, ask her if she wants to go for coffee or something. If she awkwardly sidesteps then she just wants to be workplace friends, and you can continue shooting the shit. If she says she wants to go, then go and have fun. Be sure about the age though, because if you're in the US you can get landed in serious shit over that. I know people are like "it's not a big deal, she's almost 18" but if the parents press charges you're fucked.

#48 Posted by JasonR86 (9710 posts) -

@falserelic:

Well, if you don't have sex with her 17-18 or whatever won't matter. She seems like a nice enough lady. She sounds a bit young though. Asking day and month for your birthday isn't really a thing as you get older. I mean if it gets romantic just don't have sex until you know more. The illegal part is physical intercourse not dating. Though if she is 17, even if the age difference is minor, you'd likely get sideways glances.

#49 Posted by wjb (1662 posts) -

Oh man, I love these. I love it when young people get into great detail about everyday conversations with the opposite (or same) sex.