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Posted by falserelic (5334 posts) -

(Long story short)

So I work at Meijer and I usually mind my own business. I don't bother nobody and I focus on my work, but today rumors started spreading about me. I got pulled over to the side by my supervisor, and he wanted to ask me a personal question. He asked if I had autism and I'm thinking like wtf? I told him no and he said that's cool I was just wondering, he goes on saying I'm a good employee and I learn quick.

At first I was going to let it go, but the more I thought about It something just didn't feel right. I went ahead and asked some co-workers if I seem autistic to them. They said no, but said someone was going around saying I told him that I had autism. I asked what's this person's name, but they didn't know. I asked other co-workers that was aware of the rumor too and they didn't know either. Then I asked my supervisor if he knew who this person was, but he also didn't know.

So now I'm thinking why? Yes I'm usually quiet at my job, but it's because of shit like this I want to avoid. I don't let stupid shit get to me, but I just want to know this guy's name.

#1 Edited by TruthTellah (8578 posts) -

@falserelic: Rumors are odd, and believable rumors get around fast. Sorry you had to be made somewhat uncomfortable by a rumor.

Being autistic isn't a bad thing, and maybe someone misunderstood something you said. Though, hey, maybe someone just made something up; it does happen. Probably won't learn who unless they fess up, but unfortunately, it's not a rare thing to see in office environments.

Online
#2 Posted by Slag (4090 posts) -

@falserelic:

That sucks dude, but people gossip in workplaces of all types. It is what it is, I don't like either but it's something everybody has to navigate.

that being said I think your strategy of being quiet probably didn't help in this instance.

If you don't interact with your co-workers and let them get to know you, they are just going to make guesses about who you are. And most of those guesses are going to be wrong and they will spread that bad info through gossip. Heck they might be gossiping about you more because you are so quiet, which makes you a mystery to them. Gossips love mysteries.

I think you should just let this go this time, nothing good will come from hunting for this person (and you will probably never find out who it was) but maybe you should consider making more of an effort to relate more to your co-workers. It will help prevent problems like this from happening.

Anyway sorry that happened to you.

#3 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@falserelic: Rumors are odd, and believable rumors get around fast. Sorry you had to be made somewhat uncomfortable by a rumor.

Being autistic isn't a bad thing, and maybe someone misunderstood something you said. Though, hey, maybe someone just made something up; it does happen. Probably won't learn who unless they fess up, but unfortunately, it's not a rare thing to see in office environments.

I hardly talk to anyone at my job. I guarantee this person wants to get under my skin. My supervisor asked If I was going to do something to the guy I said no. I just want to know who this person is so I'm aware. For all I know I could have greeted or talked to this phony co-worker before.

#4 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@slag said:

@falserelic:

That sucks dude, but people gossip in workplaces of all types. It is what it is, I don't like either but it's something everybody has to navigate.

that being said I think your strategy of being quiet probably didn't help in this instance.

If you don't interact with your co-workers and let them get to know you, they are just going to make guesses about who you are. And most of those guesses are going to be wrong and they will spread that bad info through gossip. Heck they might be gossiping about you more because you are so quiet, which makes you a mystery to them. Gossips love mysteries.

I think you should just let this go this time, nothing good will come from hunting for this person (and you will probably never find out who it was) but maybe you should consider making more of an effort to relate more to your co-workers. It will help prevent problems like this from happening.

Anyway sorry that happened to you.

I'll keep that in mind, but man did that guy piss me off. I kept wondering why people at my job was acting funny around me, now I know.

#5 Posted by TheHT (10933 posts) -

Whatever, people are dumb. Don't let 'em wind you up.

#6 Edited by Flacracker (1608 posts) -

@falserelic: Rumors are odd, and believable rumors get around fast. Sorry you had to be made somewhat uncomfortable by a rumor.

Being autistic isn't a bad thing, and maybe someone misunderstood something you said. Though, hey, maybe someone just made something up; it does happen. Probably won't learn who unless they fess up, but unfortunately, it's not a rare thing to see in office environments.

Well, I mean, it kind of is pretty shitty.

#7 Posted by TrafalgarLaw (1063 posts) -

If it were me, I'd grab a beamer and teach these people what autism actually is, so they can stop this crap. Seems like being unsociable or not wanting to socialise (perhaps due to your job at hand) is automatically autism in popular media and culture. I say, educate these fools.

#8 Posted by Blu3V3nom07 (4167 posts) -

That's pretty wack, really. I imagine that job doesn't get the nicest of co-workers, so probably just be careful with that type of stuff. I very annoyed by that if that happened to me as well.

#9 Edited by TruthTellah (8578 posts) -

@truthtellah said:

@falserelic: Rumors are odd, and believable rumors get around fast. Sorry you had to be made somewhat uncomfortable by a rumor.

Being autistic isn't a bad thing, and maybe someone misunderstood something you said. Though, hey, maybe someone just made something up; it does happen. Probably won't learn who unless they fess up, but unfortunately, it's not a rare thing to see in office environments.

I hardly talk to anyone at my job. I guarantee this person wants to get under my skin. My supervisor asked If I was going to do something to the guy I said no. I just want to know who this person is so I'm aware. For all I know I could have greeted or talked to this phony co-worker before.

If you have no relationship with anyone at your job, why would any of them even care to try to get under your skin? I think you're reading too much into a big uncertainty. As Slag said, it may be best to just let it go this time now that you've already clarified that you're not as the rumor suggested. If this person really is being malicious for some unknown reason, I'm sure you'll figure out who it is eventually; no reason to let them potentially get you riled up whether they meant to do so or not, you know?

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#10 Edited by TruthTellah (8578 posts) -
@flacracker said:

@truthtellah said:

@falserelic: Rumors are odd, and believable rumors get around fast. Sorry you had to be made somewhat uncomfortable by a rumor.

Being autistic isn't a bad thing, and maybe someone misunderstood something you said. Though, hey, maybe someone just made something up; it does happen. Probably won't learn who unless they fess up, but unfortunately, it's not a rare thing to see in office environments.

Well, I mean, it kind of is pretty shitty.

Sure, people with autism are often mistreated in a world that tends to not understand, but if he were autistic, it wouldn't be a bad thing. People with autism have great value, and it's just one part of who someone is. You may be treated badly, but it wouldn't be bad to be autistic.

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#11 Edited by RollingZeppelin (1924 posts) -

Have you ever been screened for Autism?

#12 Posted by TruthTellah (8578 posts) -

Have you ever been screened for Autism?

heh. Is this going to inadvertently be how someone figures out they have some form of autism?

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#13 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@blu3v3nom07 said:

That's pretty wack, really. I imagine that job doesn't get the nicest of co-workers, so probably just be careful with that type of stuff. I very annoyed by that if that happened to me as well.

That's funny you mention that. At my job my co-workers may be friendly to customers, but its an act. They're some of them that's not nice at all, and give other people a hard time. Hell some of them make fun of the customers they came across. Though cashiers and people working at the service desk and pharmacy can be grumpy the most. Which is understandable it can be a pain in the ass dealing with people.

Cashiers has to be extra careful on their job. Not to long ago the company I work for got sued. Basically a cashier got caught in a sting operation where someone was buying beer. The person showed his drivers license and it said he was 19, but you have to be 21 to buy beer. She let him buy it without thinking and not to long after she got in major trouble. Not only did she get fired she was sued aswell.

#14 Posted by RollingZeppelin (1924 posts) -

@rollingzeppelin said:

Have you ever been screened for Autism?

heh. Is this going to inadvertently be how someone figures out they have some form of autism?

Yeah, I was just thinking, the way he's describing his everyday interactions and relations with people seems a lot like what an autistic person would do. It'd be a kind of shitty way of finding out, but I can't think of a good way to be honest.

#15 Posted by endaround (2140 posts) -

Your supervisor asking if you had autism is likely illegal.

#16 Posted by TruthTellah (8578 posts) -

@truthtellah said:
@rollingzeppelin said:

Have you ever been screened for Autism?

heh. Is this going to inadvertently be how someone figures out they have some form of autism?

Yeah, I was just thinking, the way he's describing his everyday interactions and relations with people seems a lot like what an autistic person would do. It'd be a kind of shitty way of finding out, but I can't think of a good way to be honest.

Well, I've known a decent number of people that have similar work lives and are more shy and introverted than autistic; so, I don't really think there's enough for us to go on. Only a medical professional could reasonably determine that.

I'm guessing it was just a random workplace rumor.

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#17 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@rollingzeppelin said:

@truthtellah said:
@rollingzeppelin said:

Have you ever been screened for Autism?

heh. Is this going to inadvertently be how someone figures out they have some form of autism?

Yeah, I was just thinking, the way he's describing his everyday interactions and relations with people seems a lot like what an autistic person would do. It'd be a kind of shitty way of finding out, but I can't think of a good way to be honest.

I've seen people at my job that has autism working, but they usually have someone watching over them, but anyway just because I don't really try to get to know people doesn't mean I'm secretly autistic. At the end of the day all I want to do is make money not make friends. Besides after work I'm a pretty normal guy.

#18 Posted by SteadyingMeat (1122 posts) -

It's pretty much impossible to avoid stuff like this, unfortunately. People, for whatever reason, just love creating stupid rumors about people, and there's a pretty big chance that in some point in your life you're gonna be the victim of this.

#19 Edited by RollingZeppelin (1924 posts) -

@rollingzeppelin said:

@truthtellah said:
@rollingzeppelin said:

Have you ever been screened for Autism?

heh. Is this going to inadvertently be how someone figures out they have some form of autism?

Yeah, I was just thinking, the way he's describing his everyday interactions and relations with people seems a lot like what an autistic person would do. It'd be a kind of shitty way of finding out, but I can't think of a good way to be honest.

I've seen people at my job that has autism working, but they usually have someone watching over them, but anyway just because I don't really try to get to know people doesn't mean I'm secretly autistic. At the end of the day all I want to do is make money not make friends. Besides after work I'm a pretty normal guy.

Ah OK, just thought I'd ask the question. Obviously I don't have nearly enough information or knowledge to even make a guess at a diagnosis.

#20 Edited by Neonie (437 posts) -

Being autistic doesn't necessarily mean you would be full mental-case. Disorders are a sliding scale, they aren't black and white. I personally really wish psychology exams at certain ages (maybe 5,12, and 20, but I'm no doctor so I don't know when the best times would be) were completely mandatory. I think a lot of people live their lives with mild forms of mental disorders with no knowledge of it what so ever I that can be harmful in terms of how someones life goes.

(This is coming from someone who did a voluntary exam at around 23 and learned why, up to that point, I had gotten completely fucked over by things that if I knew about would have made my life far easier).

#21 Posted by I_Stay_Puft (3062 posts) -

(Long story short)

So I work at Meijer and I usually mind my own business. I don't bother nobody and I focus on my work, but today rumors started spreading about me. I got pulled over to the side by my supervisor, and he wanted to ask me a personal question. He asked if I had autism and I'm thinking like wtf? I told him no and he said that's cool I was just wondering, he goes on saying I'm a good employee and I learn quick.

At first I was going to let it go, but the more I thought about It something just didn't feel right. I went ahead and asked some co-workers if I seem autistic to them. They said no, but said someone was going around saying I told him that I had autism. I asked what's this person's name, but they didn't know. I asked other co-workers that was aware of the rumor too and they didn't know either. Then I asked my supervisor if he knew who this person was, but he also didn't know.

So now I'm thinking why? Yes I'm usually quiet at my job, but it's because of shit like this I want to avoid. I don't let stupid shit get to me, but I just want to know this guy's name.

Sounds like you have a valid complaint at hand if you wanted to go that far. I believe it's illegal in the United States for management to ask about a general disability of employers unless it's negatively effecting the job they are doing. Even then the questions and the things they can do are limited. In terms of the guy who spread those rumors if nobody is talking it's difficult for the company to really do anything, not particularly sure if they'd conduct some sort of investigations on the matter. Sometimes people are just jackasses.

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/practices/

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#22 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@falserelic said:

(Long story short)

So I work at Meijer and I usually mind my own business. I don't bother nobody and I focus on my work, but today rumors started spreading about me. I got pulled over to the side by my supervisor, and he wanted to ask me a personal question. He asked if I had autism and I'm thinking like wtf? I told him no and he said that's cool I was just wondering, he goes on saying I'm a good employee and I learn quick.

At first I was going to let it go, but the more I thought about It something just didn't feel right. I went ahead and asked some co-workers if I seem autistic to them. They said no, but said someone was going around saying I told him that I had autism. I asked what's this person's name, but they didn't know. I asked other co-workers that was aware of the rumor too and they didn't know either. Then I asked my supervisor if he knew who this person was, but he also didn't know.

So now I'm thinking why? Yes I'm usually quiet at my job, but it's because of shit like this I want to avoid. I don't let stupid shit get to me, but I just want to know this guy's name.

Sounds like you have a valid complaint at hand if you wanted to go that far. I believe it's illegal in the United States for management to ask about a general disability of employers unless it's negatively effecting the job they are doing. Even then the questions and the things they can do are limited. In terms of the guy who spread those rumors if nobody is talking it's difficult for the company to really do anything, not particularly sure if they'd conduct some sort of investigations on the matter. Sometimes people are just jackasses.

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/practices/

I wouldn't want that on my Supervisor. The reason he asked me personally is because his daughter is autistic, and he was just concerned. I don't hold no grudges with my supervisor. I'm glad he spoke to me because if he didn't pulled me to the side I wouldn't even have known about it.

#23 Edited by Demoskinos (14596 posts) -

#24 Edited by GaspoweR (2839 posts) -

@falserelic: Creepy internet question- do you happen to work in a Meijier that's close to Omega?

#25 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@gaspower said:

@falserelic: Creepy internet question- do you happen to work in a Meijier that's close to Omega?

No, its a Meijer in Michigan.

#27 Posted by JasonR86 (9611 posts) -

@falserelic:

Sounds like you work at a shitty place and that person shouldn't be a supervisor. It's no ones business, it's irrelevant, and all it does is negatively effect the atmosphere at the job. The supervisor should have squashed the rumor and it shouldn't have ever gotten to you. I'd like to ask those people wondering what would have changed had you said yes. How does that change a single thing for them or the work being done? It's all very childish and the employees and the supervisor are all children.

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#28 Edited by alwaysbebombing (1539 posts) -

If this is in America, sue the shit out of that company and never have to work again.

#29 Edited by ch3burashka (5018 posts) -

You should do something stupid and irrational, and film it. You're already planning the former, might as well make some Youtube cash off of it.

#30 Posted by Clonedzero (4099 posts) -

I've been at the shit end of stupid rumors before, sucks dude.

#31 Posted by ripelivejam (3588 posts) -

@jasonr86 said:

@falserelic:

Sounds like you work at a shitty place and that person shouldn't be a supervisor. It's no ones business, it's irrelevant, and all it does is negatively effect the atmosphere at the job. The supervisor should have squashed the rumor and it shouldn't have ever gotten to you. I'd like to ask those people wondering what would have changed had you said yes. How does that change a single thing for them or the work being done? It's all very childish and the employees and the supervisor are all children.

this x1000. i'm surprised others in this thread don't feel the same way.

#32 Edited by NTM (7288 posts) -

You should go in wearing the Batman suit, and in Christian Bale's gravely Batman voice, pull people to the side, choke them as well as punching them in the face, yelling "Who told you I was autistic!? WHO!?" Detective mode. Anyways, yeah, that's too bad. I'm trying to think up something similar that has happened to me, but nothing really close comes to mind, though I can still understand your position I guess. Yeah, hope you find the person. I feel like you just want to know so you know who to dislike :P. You should probably talk to them about it instead of not being upfront, and if anything escalates, then you have the right to talk to the boss about it.

#33 Posted by NTM (7288 posts) -

Your supervisor asking if you had autism is likely illegal.

"If you remember one simple rule, you'll be in good shape: You can ask people about their abilities, but you can't ask about their disabilities. This means that you can ask how an applicant plans to perform each function of the job, but you can not ask whether the applicant has any disabilities that will prevent him or her from performing those functions."

#34 Posted by Broomhitches (172 posts) -

I have a feeling that your supervisor is responsible for the rumor. You probably have no choice but to interact with him.

I am going through a similar situation, it's actually an on-going thing. I've had social anxiety for a long time, though I simply thought I was an introvert, but the issue got worse when I started noticing things. A few years ago, overheard a few co-workers talking about me and they all came to an agreement that I was gay. This bothered me immensely and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I did to make people think that. Apparently, people made this assumption based on how I walk and talk. So, I barely left my house because I wanted to correct my mannerisms, talking-style etc. To me, there's nothing wrong with being gay, I simply think it's ridiculous that a great deal of people go out of their way to give gay people are hard time. I became obsessed with trying to find a solution because I didn't want anyone to think this; I scoured the Internet for tutorials on how to talk and walk.

I ended up moving back to my hometown for 2 years and I noticed that some of my family members and people I knew back in high school acted differently whenever I was around them. I mean, the way they interacted with me in the past compared to how they did when I returned were glaringly obvious. Now, I have family members--who are the type of religious people who think homosexuals are gross, demon-possessed souls--acting strangely when I'm around. This added more fuel to my anger and I became bitter and disconnected from everyone else, which also made my social anxiety worse.

I eventually moved to yet another state to live with my girlfriend, who has known me for almost a decade. I haven't left my house--aside from taking out the trash--in about 2 months because I'm really just tired of dealing with people. I mean, things were really bad for a while--I felt a sense of immense dread and just laid in bed at night, hoping that I would die in my sleep. As you can see, I have a lot to work on and haven't progressed like I should because I'm tired of having to meet everyone's expectations and being at someone's mercy.

I guess my message to you is to try your hardest not to end up a pessimistic recluse like me. People more shit about quiet types because it's an easy way of diverting attention of them and they think it helps them fit in.

#35 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@broomhitches: Sorry to hear about that man. Yeah, people can be abunch of gossiping dicks that got nothing better else to do. I have a co-worker who is gay telling me that the place I work for is like one big ass high school. He said people talk shit about him all the time, and he said if your doing something right there's going to be others to try and bring you down.

He's right and its usually from people that's miserable themselves. That is why I like to not tell my personal business with people. You tell someone something and they start telling other people, it can be like a big ass high school. If someone has a problem with me we can talk face to face. Since that person likes to act like a bitch and all it won't happen.

#36 Posted by RazielCuts (2942 posts) -

What a weird rumour to spread, just because someone isn't sociable they're autistic? That's like something I'd see in a YouTube comment. And even if you were what would the response have been? 'Okay, just checking.'

I'm wondering, now this might sound a tad paranoid but how long have you worked there and would you consider yourself a good worker? Because I'm wondering if they're having to make cuts and you're in the shortlist. Your supervisor checking with you is their way of covering themselves so later down the line you can't sue them for unfair dismissal on discrimination. Now that might be totally whats not happening here and I'm just creating a worst case scenario. You might be the new guy at the office, not very sociable and people are just jumping to conclusions from 'that guys quiet' to 'must be something wrong with him.' Either way a work environment like that were gossip between co-workers about fellow co-works is happening kinda sucks so you have my sympathies, definitely probably people who are straight out of college and are used to that mentality.

#37 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@razielcuts said:

What a weird rumour to spread, just because someone isn't sociable they're autistic? That's like something I'd see in a YouTube comment. And even if you were what would the response have been? 'Okay, just checking.'

I'm wondering, now this might sound a tad paranoid but how long have you worked there and would you consider yourself a good worker? Because I'm wondering if they're having to make cuts and you're in the shortlist. Your supervisor checking with you is their way of covering themselves so later down the line you can't sue them for unfair dismissal on discrimination. Now that might be totally whats not happening here and I'm just creating a worst case scenario. You might be the new guy at the office, not very sociable and people are just jumping to conclusions from 'that guys quiet' to 'must be something wrong with him.' Either way a work environment like that were gossip between co-workers about fellow co-works is happening kinda sucks so you have my sympathies, definitely probably people who are straight out of college and are used to that mentality.

I've been working for the company for 5 months. I had an employee evaluation done by one of my supervisor 3 months ago. He had this paper that had questions on it that he had to aswer, and I'll list some of the things he said.

1. I did an astounding job and I treat people with respect.

2. I'll go out of my way to help customers the best way I can, even when stuff isn't in my department I'll try to find someone to help them.

3. I always go about doing my job and following whatever my supervisors wants me to do without back talk.

4. I learn fast and when my supervisors are unavailable. I'll find my own work to do that's benefiting the company.

5. I'll go out of my way to help other co-workers if they're in need of assistance.

6. I'm getting faster, improving, and getting better at dealing with costumers.

Hell I got abunch of these ''you are remarkable cards''

You'll get these cards if you go above and beyond on your job, or if a costumer gives you a complement (which has happen to me). You can use them in a draft to win something. The only thing my supervisor had a problem with was that I wasn't taking my lunch breaks often, but said I was getting better at it. I found out later on that you can get written up if you don't take any breaks.

#38 Posted by Fattony12000 (7102 posts) -

@falserelic: Take your breaks, duder. Don't be one of those people.

#39 Edited by RazielCuts (2942 posts) -

@falserelic: Whoa, okay, calm down. I posited a possible theory whist giving you my sympathetic understanding and you jumped down my throat. I don't need your past evaluation history in bullet point form. I wasn't calling you a 'bad' worker. I just meant it as some people just do the bare minimum to get by at their job because they're not interested in it. It's not really what they want to do so they kinda just float by and don't make any ties with people at a company because they don't see themselves being there very long, you wouldn't be a bad person if you did that. I feel like I've just offended your honour or something and you've had to defend it.

Also yeah, as @fattony12000 says, take your breaks. 1) it makes everyone else look bad like they're not working hard enough and 2) that's going to make you more the outsider as break time is the perfect time to be socialising with your co-workers.

#40 Edited by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@razielcuts said:

@falserelic: Whoa, okay, calm down. I posited a possible theory whist giving you my sympathetic understanding and you jumped down my throat. I don't need your past evaluation history in bullet point form. I wasn't calling you a 'bad' worker. I just meant it as some people just do the bare minimum to get by at their job because they're not interested in it. It's not really what they want to do so they kinda just float by and don't make any ties with people at a company because they don't see themselves being there very long, you wouldn't be a bad person if you did that. I feel like I've just offended your honour or something and you've had to defend it.

Also yeah, as @fattony12000 says, take your breaks. 1) it makes everyone else look bad like they're not working hard enough and 2) that's going to make you more the outsider as break time is the perfect time to be socialising with your co-workers.

I wasn't upset at all I was just answering your question. I didn't mean to make it seem like I was angry or anything. I was just giving examples of what my supervisors was saying. My bad of making it seem that way. Anyway I'm not going to let what people say get to me. I'm used to having people talking shit about me, but I wanted to address it at my job because I didn't want people to treat me differently. I also want to address the person that started the rumor too. I wouldn't have cared if it was just shit talk, but this person claimed and said '' I told him'' that I had autism. I don't want to hurt the guy all I want to do is talk to him that's all.

#41 Edited by Marcsman (3130 posts) -

Your supervisor asking if you had autism is likely illegal.

No it's not. If it is discussed during the interview, an employer has the right to ask any question that affects your work. I once fired somebody who had a diabetic stroke while driving a van for our company. He did not disclose that information to me during the interview. His diabetes was not under control.

#42 Edited by Fattony12000 (7102 posts) -
@marcsman said:

@endaround said:

Your supervisor asking if you had autism is likely illegal.

No it's not. If it is discussed during the interview, an employer has the right to ask any question that affects your work. I once fired somebody who had a diabetic stroke while driving a van for our company. He did not disclose that information to me during the interview. His diabetes was not under control.

Would it be illegal/not good/not best practice/dodgy/ill-advised if you asked your employee if they were autistic five months after hiring them? Whilst they were seemingly being one of the best employees you've ever had and also whilst having absolutely nothing to back up such a 'claim'? Least of all any actual notion of concern/care for the well being/competency of that employee?

#43 Edited by MonkeyKing1969 (2597 posts) -

@falserelic: Rumors are odd, and believable rumors get around fast. Sorry you had to be made somewhat uncomfortable by a rumor.

Being autistic isn't a bad thing, and maybe someone misunderstood something you said. Though, hey, maybe someone just made something up; it does happen. Probably won't learn who unless they fess up, but unfortunately, it's not a rare thing to see in office environments.

See that woudl be my point, being autistic isn't a BAD thing. I would tell your co-workers that you like "Being autistic isn't a BAD thing. And, I'd rather be though of as a high functioning person with Autism than a low functioning ass-hole who gossips & lies."

#44 Posted by Budwyzer (547 posts) -

@broomhitches: Just own that shit. That's how most of us push through stupid shit that's thrown at us. Someone wants to call me a fag, I say "Heeeeeeyyyyyy" and shake my ass while they watch me walk away. Some person decides to call me a piece of shit, damn right I am. Aren't we all?

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe that's just how I deal with dumb people.

@marcsman said:
@endaround said:

Your supervisor asking if you had autism is likely illegal.

No it's not. If it is discussed during the interview, an employer has the right to ask any question that affects your work. I once fired somebody who had a diabetic stroke while driving a van for our company. He did not disclose that information to me during the interview. His diabetes was not under control.

Would it be illegal/not good/not best practice/dodgy/ill-advised if you asked your employee if they were autistic five months after hiring them? Whilst they were seemingly being one of the best employees you've ever had and also whilst having absolutely nothing to back up such a 'claim'? Least of all any actual notion of concern/care for the well being/competency of that employee?

no/maybe/yes/yes/depends

Nailed it. That last answer though completely depends on how they handle the situation from that point forward. The supervisor should have, at that point, done their job to get their employees in line and stop talking about stupid shit like that.

#45 Edited by AgnosticJesus (542 posts) -

I'd let it go. If you raise a stink they'll find a reason to get rid of you. Michigan is a right to work state so they can fire you without reason really. I've worked at a Meijer And they tend to employ unsavory characters so rumors and trouble makers come with the territory. I remember from previous posts that you've had difficulty finding employment. You're gainfully employed now, don't let something stupid like this jeopardize it or you'll be up shit creek without a paddle, again. On a side note, it's customers. Every time I see costumers I think you're interacting with people that make costumes for a living.

#46 Posted by AgnosticJesus (542 posts) -

@broomhitches: Things will not improve for you until you seek the help of a professional. You've got major issues that you are not equipped to solve on your own.

#47 Posted by falserelic (5334 posts) -

I'd let it go. If you raise a stink they'll find a reason to get rid of you. Michigan is a right to work state so they can fire you without reason really. I've worked at a Meijer And they tend to employ unsavory characters so rumors and trouble makers come with the territory. I remember from previous posts that you've had difficulty finding employment. You're gainfully employed now, don't let something stupid like this jeopardize it or you'll be up shit creek without a paddle, again. On a side note, it's customers. Every time I see costumers I think you're interacting with people that make costumes for a living.

My mistake, but yeah your right I'll leave it alone at this point. I can't risk losing my job over silly shit.

#48 Posted by oraknabo (1453 posts) -

@falserelic: I'm a pretty big introvert and my first instinct at work is to just go straight to my workstation, get shit done and go home, but I've learned over the years that people who aren't like me think of their coworkers as a second family and actively dislike you if you isolate yourself from them.

I started visiting other peoples' offices when I come in and making smalltalk, being sure to say good morning to everyone every day, going to lunch if I'm invited and hanging out and joking around with people during breaks. This can actually drain my energy faster than my actual work, but it helps a lot with making your workplace more pleasant.

Before I did these kinds of things, if anything went wrong I was the first person other people pointed the finger at, even when I had nothing to do with the problem. Social people can be really tribal and adversarial to anyone who they think doesn't fit in to their group. It sounds like dumb high-school shit, but this is just life.

#49 Posted by Broomhitches (172 posts) -

@falserelic: And just try your best to avoid showing that these rumors upset you. Once your co-workers learn that you're angry, they'll continue just to get a rise out of you because it's the only entertainment they can find at work. And since you are quiet--and people are stupid--they will jump to other conclusions, like you potentially being the type of person to take a gun to a public place and shoot everyone.

#50 Posted by falserelic (5334 posts) -

@falserelic: And just try your best to avoid showing that these rumors upset you. Once your co-workers learn that you're angry, they'll continue just to get a rise out of you because it's the only entertainment they can find at work. And since you are quiet--and people are stupid--they will jump to other conclusions, like you potentially being the type of person to take a gun to a public place and shoot everyone.

I actually had a conversation with my mom about that. She basically said the samething, and told me to flip it on them instead of getting upset. Plenty of times she had rumors spread about her when she's at work. Since she likes to keep to herself most of the time aswell, she said people will try to push your buttons just to get an reaction out of you. She told me to learn from this experience and be prepared for the next dumb shit coming my way. Except this time don't give someone the satisfaction that it upsets me.