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#1 Posted by darkedhunter (43 posts) -

So today at work, I got in trouble for the first time at my new job. I've worked at a storage facility for about 6 months, and everything has been fairly smooth so far. Unfortunatly, about three months ago my boss hired an older lady (50ish) to work here as well. I cannot STAND her. She, by virtue of being older, makes 50% more than me but has less responsibilities and does less. She also believes that because she is older, she is in charge.

She has this habit of sending emails pointing out painfully obvious things. Yesterday she emailed all the younger employees, "just a reminder, it’s going to be in the 30’s during the night this week so before leaving, please turn the faucets on a slow trickle. I came in this am and they weren’t on and luckily there were no issues. Before I leave today, they will be turned on." Not too bad right? Maybe, except for this exact warning is taped on the monitor of the computer. This has happened multiple times, and I kinda snapped last night. I sent a pretty mean spirited email, pointing out a few of the mistakes she has made in the past week in a fairly callous manner. She emailed me back this morning making up excuses, but I sent another rather harsh email back (worth noting that I didn't call her out as a person or swear at her, I just kinda pointed out some mistakes she been making. So she should not really exercise so much authority).

I guess it kinda took me by surprise that she forwarded the whole conversation our boss. The boss said we need to have a "serious chat" and she called me on my cell phone. She gave me a long lecture about how disappointed she was in me, and how I need to learn how to act in the business world. Of course she was right, but I still cannot stand what my co-worker is doing, and I'm having some trouble.

I feel pretty shitty. Should I be? First time really getting in trouble at a job.... I'm not sure how I should feel. Have you guys ever gotten in trouble at work like this? Does it happen frequently? I want to know...

#2 Posted by CornBREDX (6751 posts) -

Pick your battles. 
That's the life lesson here.

#3 Posted by killacam (1321 posts) -

kill her in her sleep.

#4 Posted by believer258 (12970 posts) -
I feel pretty shitty. Should I be?

Eh... I don't think so, no. What I think you should feel, however, is regret at a stupid way of handling a situation. Whenever you have an issue with a co-worker, the number one thing you don't do is make some sort of a scene, or angrily contact the person in question. The best thing to do is get in contact with your boss and point out the problem in a concise, respectful, and decent manner.

It's also worth noting that if she's having to constantly notify you of things, even little things, then maybe she has a point. Sometimes little issues can cause really fucking big ones.

#5 Edited by BlamBlam (59 posts) -

In the end your boss is right to speak with you about this. Its bad all around for you to tear down a coworker like that. If you have a problem with this lady you needed to speak to her in person like an adult and not hide behind emails.

#6 Posted by gamefreak9 (2877 posts) -

If your going down a risky path, don't leave a trail.

#7 Posted by MistaSparkle (2283 posts) -

Couldn't you just sit down this lady at break or lunch or whatever and ask her to stop because it's bothering you? Also probably apologizing for how you reacted, even if you feel you don't need to would help. Just my opinion.

#8 Posted by TurboMan (8247 posts) -

I think you're in the wrong here.

#9 Edited by JerichoBlyth (1039 posts) -

Your boss will have forgotten all about it by next week. You mean nothing to the Queen bee....work, work, WORK! YOU ARE SLAVE!

Did that make you feel better?

#10 Posted by stryker1121 (1817 posts) -

@darkedhunter: You could have handled that better for certain. You could have set aside some time with your co-worker and gone over your concerns in a measured and respectful manner in private. "Mean-spirited" and "callous" emails have no place in the workplace even if you think the other person deserves it.

Now you've made things tougher on yourself. Your only recourse is face-to-face apologizing to your co-worker, at which time you can still address your concerns calmly- this can still be a "win" for you, but in the future it's best to go by the old saying, "You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

#11 Posted by SuperCycle (349 posts) -

I have, in the past been a horrible employee at some of the places I've worked. When I used to work at Tim Hortons during the nightshift Everyone that came into the shop to order a coffee, no matter what they actually ordered always got a double double. I would line them up at the beginning of the night and just hand them out to people. If someone came back to complain, I would apologize profusely and I would take their coffee back ask them again exactly what they wanted and then give them the next cup of Double Double I had laid out. I've worked at factories where I've shown up drunk and belligerent to the job, I refused to do work and then went off to the bathroom and fell asleep. Surprisingly enough I hadn't been fired from either job.

I wouldn't let your boss make you feel to depressed. I would try to work things out with your co-worker though. Tell her why your upset and all that jazz, if you can't find a reasonable solution with the person ask your boss if you can change shifts so that your not working with this woman, and if that doesn't work, file a complaint with your HR department.

#12 Posted by Little_Socrates (5834 posts) -

@SuperCycle said:

if that doesn't work, file a complaint with your HR department.

This was the correct answer. If it's something you need to resolve with somebody you believe could be a friend someday, direct interaction makes sense. But with some random old woman you already know you can't stand? Just go through HR, let them know she's annoying you, and they'll deal with it if it's really a problem.

#13 Posted by Vinny_Says (5911 posts) -

You work on new year's day? dayum....

#14 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8734 posts) -

Pick your battles, yeah. 
A lot of people will fucking annoy you to no end but you gotta make it work with em. If it bugs you this much take it up with your boss. Because fights between co workers never ever work out. You disrupt the workplace thus the cash flow thus the boss will always be hard on both parties. And rightly so.

#15 Edited by darkedhunter (43 posts) -

All those points are incredibly fair. I'm not going to try to argue or justify sending those emails as right, as that would be pretty ridiculous. I never see anyone at the office by the way, when I work I'm alone for the nine hours I am there. I would have probably been more up front to the co-worker if I saw her more than one every couple of months.

I do regret what I did, it was a "I just snapped" kind of moment. I swear I normally don't lose my cool like that. It's possible that I was more likely to do what I did because the other employees and myself have been complaining about the person I sent the emails too since she arrived at the office. I don't really know...

I do feel disappointed that the situation ended up the way it did. Should I post what I sent her here just for some perspective?

#16 Posted by huntad (2104 posts) -

@CornBREDX said:

Pick your battles. That's the life lesson here.
#17 Posted by the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG (4313 posts) -

You couldve probably just talked to her in person about it instead but oh well, it doesnt matter

#18 Posted by Drebin_893 (3020 posts) -

@CornBREDX said:

Pick your battles. That's the life lesson here.
#19 Posted by Fallen189 (5329 posts) -

Maybe you shouldn't have been such a massive tool. It makes you come across as very immature

#20 Posted by stryker1121 (1817 posts) -

@darkedhunter said:

Should I post what I sent her here just for some perspective?

No. Don't give it a public forum at this point. Water under the bridge.

#21 Posted by darkedhunter (43 posts) -

Blah, here is the whole 4 emails. I feel as though I must purge it like a poison from my body. I'm not arguing for me, again I feel terrible.

Her: "just a reminder, it’s going to be in the 30’s during the night this week so before leaving, please turn the faucets on a slow trickle. I came in this am and they weren’t on and luckily there were no issues. Before I leave today, they will be turned on."

Me:"The weather forecast put the lows in the low 40s for Sunday night Monday morning. I'm not huge on wasting water. Please check the forecast before assuming they need to be turned on. Also, please don't have C***** open doors for you during NMS hours when you are in the office (it can put her in situations she is not equipped to handle), that is your job."

Her:"Thanks for the response. I did check the 7 day forecast and It showed lows in the upper 20’s and low to mid thirties and I didn’t want to take a chance on the pipes freezing as I know what kind of expense that can lead to.

I was on the phone with Dave about another issue when I asked C***** to open the door in D so a customer could get in. I wasn’t aware that she isn’t suppose to open the doors or I wouldn’t have asked her. I thought we were all crossed trained on that. I’ll clarify with J*****."

Me:"Thank you for checking the forecast. Being aware is the best way to safeguard against unnecessary costs. In regards to training, you don't have to clarify anything with J*****, you can just ask the other employees. I'm sure C******* is capable of going to D section (she has had the NMS training), but generally when you are in the office you should be attending to customers, that is why you are there. I'm sure Dave would understand as well. Furthermore, please don't leave F section locked from the outside overnight. It's a security issue. Also, leaving the lights on in M section and A section overnight is also something that should not happen. Please be mindful."

#22 Posted by Ravenlight (8057 posts) -

Sounds like your job sucks. Get a new one.

#23 Posted by darkedhunter (43 posts) -

@stryker1121 said:

@darkedhunter said:

Should I post what I sent her here just for some perspective?

No. Don't give it a public forum at this point. Water under the bridge.

I really shouldn't have. Sorry. I just, I don't know how to handle dealing with it. =/

#24 Posted by Scooper (7920 posts) -

Just tuck your dick in and get on with your damn work. Fuck the old crone and her dripping, frozen old tubes!

#25 Posted by Karkarov (3387 posts) -

Never, ever, call out your own coworker if they are the same position and rank in the company as you. Never, ever, give feedback to someone in an a way that can be described as "callous" or "harsh".

The next time there is an issue with a coworker you quietly contact your boss, explain the situation to them in a polite and professional way, and then you shut up and accept whatever the boss does as a result with a smile on your face.

#26 Posted by Karass (20 posts) -

Not sure what your problem with her is. The example you gave is that she sends e-mails reminding people of policies that aren't being followed, I don't see the crime there. You say there was a noticed taped to your computer about it, but her reminder explicitly said that it wasn't being done despite that, so that would kind of imply that her e-mailed reminder makes sense, right?

Sounds like there is more to your anger than you told us initially, and that is probably key to the issue. You come off looking pretty bad in this situation, IMHO. Getting along with annoying co-workers is tough, but being honest with yourself about what part of their behavior you find annoying is key to bearing it.

#27 Posted by Napalm (9230 posts) -

@darkedhunter: You said something stupid in email. You honestly couldn't have done anything more stupid.

#28 Posted by Fattony12000 (7969 posts) -

I can't be the only one here who thought that the use of "C*****" was actually censoring the word "Cuntin", can I?


Fuck, I wish I had your job, or any job to be precisely accurate. Being left alone for nine hours at a time sounds like a fucking dream.

#29 Edited by darkedhunter (43 posts) -

@Karass: Just to clarify, the email was sent to me and another coworker. I did not leave faucets off or whatnot. And I will admit that there are other things contributing to my anger. There are documents on the office computer where she bashes people who choose to use storage facilities because they are "cluttering up their lives and wasting money." Further, I have covered two 9 hour shifts for her in the last 2 weeks, and have not got so much as a "thanks." I already mentioned that she makes more 50% more than me despite having less responsibilities. Finally there are the mistakes that she makes and never owns up to. It's all very frustrating.

And yes I know this is petty and immature. =( That partially the reason I feel so fucking awful about it.

Edit: Any censored words were names.

#30 Posted by Hunkulese (2968 posts) -

You have a shitty job and shitty coworkers.

Just start drinking at work.

#31 Posted by Metric_Outlaw (1198 posts) -

I would have done the same. If she does it again talk to your boss. I hated working with people who act like they're the boss.

#32 Posted by SmilingPig (1370 posts) -

Respect your elders...ah kids these days, I remember in my youth we ...*snore*

#33 Posted by WilltheMagicAsian (1547 posts) -

Shit happens. Next time, type it out, just don't click send. It'll help you vent your frustrations a bit, without getting in to trouble.

#34 Posted by Stonyman65 (3081 posts) -

Try to keep your cool, man.

If you are having problems with your coworkers, talk to them about it. If that doesn't work, talk to the boss. If that doesn't work, find a new job.

Don't throw people under the bus, but at the same time don't let others throw you under. Unless she is your superior, don't pay any mind to what she says or does.

#35 Posted by LastNinja (296 posts) -

Touch her shoulder

#36 Edited by SoldierG654342 (1865 posts) -

E-mails are never the correct way to solve inter-personal problems. Talk to her in person, and if she has a problem with your problem, go to a higher up.

#37 Posted by fujimitsu (24 posts) -

You feel bad about what you did for a reason.

Whether arbitrary internet people feel you were in the right or wrong is irrelevant. What you did clearly does not sit well with you. Whether you try to rectify that or just move forward is up to you.

The only thing that's going to make you feel better other than apologizing is changing your behavior. Make it a point to stop and think "is this worth giving a shit about?" whenever some silly garbage like this riles you up a bit. Almost nothing in life, certainly not office politics, is worth getting angry about.

#38 Posted by Tru3_Blu3 (3482 posts) -

@CornBREDX said:

Pick your battles. That's the life lesson here.

Not very helpful, as each battle, in reality, leads to tragedy, both minor and major.

Just avoid battles.

#39 Posted by Jared (586 posts) -

My best advice is to just own the issue with your boss and let her know that you see her point and it won't happen again. As someone who has written similar emails I would recommend writing it up, saving it as a draft and sitting on it for the night. The next day you will have cooled off and can make any adjustments before sending it.

#40 Edited by Rotten_Avocado (84 posts) -

I have a big mouth in general. I find it hard not to put people in their place. It's something you learn (hopefully) through time to avoid putting yourself in precarious situations.

Don't retaliate. Because it'll come back to bite you. Trust me.

#41 Posted by EpicSteve (6909 posts) -

If she isn't in charge she has no business acting like it. She needs to stay in her lane. Worry about herself.

#42 Posted by eurosears (9 posts) -

Always stick to your point when confronting people like this, act smart, have well structured excuses and never let anyone treat you as a child in an argument, don't smile and always look a person in the eyes, dont keep it personal but rather structure the arguments in a "good of the company" way - - just a few suggestions ;)

#43 Posted by Galiant (2216 posts) -

@darkedhunter: Always wait a day before sending an angry E-mail. Write it, save as a draft - and then if you still feel the same way when reading through it the next day, go ahead. You'll probably just end up deleting it more often than not.

#44 Posted by themangalist (1853 posts) -

Isn't life about dealing with shitty people and keeping your cool?

#45 Posted by Napalm (9230 posts) -

@EpicSteve said:

If she isn't in charge she has no business acting like it. She needs to stay in her lane. Worry about herself.

Yes, worry about her!

#46 Posted by Marcsman (3381 posts) -

Lock her in one of the empty storage lockers. Problem solved

#47 Posted by The_Nubster (2583 posts) -

Your boss will forget about it in a few days. Apologize to her in person, and don't do it again.

#48 Edited by avantegardener (1270 posts) -

Another delicious life lesson. As someone who has received a number of bollickings over the years, you'll just have to quietly seeth for awhile and suck it up, and it will pass. What I would say though, contact your superior if you have an issue with another employee, as you found out see got the jump on you, and did just that, putting you on the back foot. That's some free Sun Tzu shit right there :).

#49 Posted by mosespippy (4746 posts) -

Write out your angry emails but delete them instead of clicking send.

#50 Posted by C0V3RT (1393 posts) -

I've never gotten in serious trouble but it's because someone taught me early to pick my battles and the battles I do pursue, how to handle it. Lesson learned though duder, don't dwell on it, just grow and move on.