I hate puppies.

I'm really confused? Fuck.

Are you some kind of amateur? You've got to prepare for this stuff, man. Grab a book, get your phone or 3DS before you go in... if all else fails at least make sure there is a magazine to read in the bathroom already.

Never poop on your puppy.

You have to be sure to drink a lot of water so the puppy doesn't get stuck coming out of your anus.