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#1 Posted by Simplexity (1382 posts) -

Ok so story time, my grandfather wanted me to look at his laptop as it had been running very slowly and wanted me to fix it, and I agreed.

So I started looking at said laptop and started running defrags, uninstalling 90 browser toolbars etc. That is when I found something I will probably regret seeing for the rest of my life.

As you all probably know Chrome has a auto fill address bar, and I accidentally caught a glance of a couple of websites I probably shouldn't have, and curiosity got the better of me and I went to one of said websites and I was met with some of the most hardcore porn I have ever seen.

I am not talking about the fake kind of hardcore, I am talking about the type where you aren't really sure if you are witnessing a rape or not, and believe it or not that was not the worst part. genuinely disturbed about this I looked over his log (probably shouldn't have done that) and found to my horror that he had been to several escort sites. Now my grandfather is married to my grandmother and has been for well over 50 years so this puts me in a bit of an awkward position.

So what do I do? Keep quiet? Tell someone? Try to forget this ever happened?

One thing is for sure though, I will never look at my grandfather in the same way ever again *shudder*.

#2 Edited by Snail (8648 posts) -

You're not giving us enough information. If you tell about this discovery to whichever one of your parents that is the offspring of these grandparents you are talking about, do you think he or she will be able to handle it better than you?

If so, there is your answer. It's probably the best thing to do.

#3 Posted by ZanzibarBreeze (3079 posts) -

How old is your grandfather?

#4 Posted by Simplexity (1382 posts) -

@ZanzibarBreeze said:

How old is your grandfather?

71.

#5 Posted by Sploder (917 posts) -

Maybe it was your Grandmother using his computer. Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun.

#6 Posted by Imsorrymsjackson (855 posts) -

Have it out with him, tell him to stop and get help if he is fucking about, install software on his laptop so he can't access anything like that. If you dont want to do it in person then just delete it all, put anti-porn software on his computer and just leave a text file on his screen saying that this is his second chance and you don't get many of them in life.

#7 Posted by Icemael (6356 posts) -
Snitches get stitches.
#8 Posted by Daryl (1781 posts) -

What would you want him to do if he found all the disgusting websites you've been looking at?

#9 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

You're kind've an asshole for digging further into his browser history. There are websites for every sort of fetish out there and if your granddaddy gets his rocks off to fake rape vids, than that's probably not any of your business.

#10 Posted by Hamst3r (4555 posts) -

Forget about it.

#11 Posted by ZanzibarBreeze (3079 posts) -

I guess it's the type of pornography you found that is most alarming in this case. But he's an old man, he has his own life, and as long as he's not doing anything illegal or looking at anything illegal, I'm not sure there's much reason to act on anything here. If you suspect he might be doing something untoward, then that's something else completely.

#12 Posted by Simplexity (1382 posts) -

@Ravenlight: I don't really care about the porn thing, it's the whole escort thing that bothers me.

And yes I shouldn't have done what I did but it's too late now!

#13 Posted by Jrad (624 posts) -

So he looks at porn. Big deal? Chances are the escort sites were only some dumb flashing advertisement he clicked. Just slap some antivirus/antimalware/adblocker on his computer and leave him be.

#14 Posted by Imissyou (24 posts) -

A bit of sick just came in my mouth

#15 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -

It's probably a better idea not to say anything. The "shock" will pass. Trust me. I was met with a similar scenario.

#16 Posted by K9 (621 posts) -

What is the status of your grandfather and grandmother's relationship? Are they a happy couple?

You should at least talk to your grandfather about this. He owes you an explanation. Depending on his answers decide on whether you should tell your grandmother or not.

#17 Posted by stinky (1551 posts) -

whats the outcome you want?  
"grandpa you look at escorts, you should feel bad." 
  
what business is it of yours what your grandma and grandpa do?

#18 Posted by ZanzibarBreeze (3079 posts) -

@K9 said:

You should at least talk to your grandfather about this. He owes you an explanation.

I disagree. His grandfather doesn't owe him anything -- he has his own life.

Also, I don't know what person would want to have that kind of uncomfortable discussion with a relative, let alone someone 50+ years their senior.

#19 Posted by Snail (8648 posts) -

@ZanzibarBreeze said:

I guess it's the type of pornography you found that is most alarming in this case. But he's an old man, he has his own life, and as long as he's not doing anything illegal or looking at anything illegal, I'm not sure there's much reason to act on anything here. If you suspect he might be doing something untoward, then that's something else completely.

I think it was the prostitutes that he found the most alarming. But like someone pointed out, that could be just the result of some ad he clicked on - I guess he can kind of infer that based on how often he found those websites in his history.

#20 Edited by Klei (1768 posts) -

As long as its not child porn, you shouldn't rat him out. He wants to see a couple of hardcore scenes before he moves on then let him be. And to be honest, he's 71. I'm sure he didn't ''hit that'' in 20 years. As for escorts... well, maybe he needs special nursing. I'm kidding. I don't know what to say about escorts.

No disrespect.

#21 Posted by mosespippy (4377 posts) -

Nothing good can come from bringing it up. Never mention it and it won't become an issue. That's how my family has handled it since we got the internet in 2000.

#22 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3082 posts) -

I wouldn't worry about it. Just because he's into some weird shit doesn't mean it's anyone else's business. And as far as escort sites go, I sincerely doubt that he would be using them. A lot of them are basically porn sites.

In summation: Don't fucking tell anybody. It's bad enough that you know and that you've told us. Just let the old man be a perv in his own time and you can laugh about it all later on in life.

#23 Posted by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

I can't wait to be a perverted old man as well! He's still got it

#24 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7099 posts) -

Depends entirely on if he was actually using the site to find escorts or just, well, you know. If he's cheating then yeah confront him but if he's not cheating or you have no way of proving it, don't say anything.

#25 Posted by SirPsychoSexy (1331 posts) -

Well it is just porn, no matter how hardcore. And there is no conclusive evidence he is cheating just by looking at some escort sites. Don't fucking say anything, you'll regret it.

#26 Posted by Red (5994 posts) -

Yeah, tell your parents at the very least. They're the ones perhaps closer to the situation and better able to decide what to do.

#27 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (3908 posts) -

Dude he's 71. Let him and your gramma live their remaining years blissfully unaware. No point causing a ruckus at this stage.

#28 Posted by wordfalling (193 posts) -

Mind your own damn business.

#29 Edited by Toxeia (730 posts) -

1) His fetishes are his business, as long as he's not contributing to someone else's suffering. If it's illegal, then you need to talk to him about it. Otherwise it's fine.

2) If his computer was running slow, it's possible whatever he had was putting references in his history to that kind of stuff.

3) On Reddit there was a case where a man's son had trashed his computer looking at sketchy porn sites. The father fixed the computer for him and gave him a list of "safe" sites he could go to for wanking purposes. You might consider this as well.

Edit: 4) Search the basement for young japanese boys.

#30 Posted by K9 (621 posts) -

@ZanzibarBreeze said:

@K9 said:

You should at least talk to your grandfather about this. He owes you an explanation.

I disagree. His grandfather doesn't owe him anything -- he has his own life.

Also, I don't know what person would want to have that kind of uncomfortable discussion with a relative, let alone someone 50+ years their senior.

If OP found porn sites on a random person's laptop, I would agree with you. But this is his/her grandfather. There is a familial relationship. And the grandfather's laptop has content that is potentially illegal. Plus, you have to take into consideration the grandmother in this situation. Are they a happy couple or not? If not, then the Grandmother should know about this. Again, OP is family and its ok to have these sorts of adult discussions between family members if the situation is potentially dire.

#31 Posted by Fattony12000 (7596 posts) -

Fucking hell, this is going to go very Curb Your Enthusiasm if you're not careful.

#32 Posted by SathingtonWaltz (2053 posts) -

Everyone has their "secrets". EVERYONE. You would be surprised just how many perfectly normal, socially capable people get off to weird things. As long as it doesn't harm anyone else I say just forget about it, you probably shouldn't have snooped anyway but w/e. Better that he get off to it in fantasy than in reality.

#33 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

At least you know what to get him for Christmas now.

#34 Posted by Bobby_The_Great (1011 posts) -

If someone were to look at the stuff I've had on my computer, they would probably think the worst of me.

I say as long as he isn't acting out on it, IE going out and raping people, it's just a fantasy. Granted you shouldn't have seen it, but let it go.

As for the escorts, maybe he's just looking at the sites, like you said, curiosity can get the best of us and cause us to scourer. Honestly, we all look at some messed up stuff, doesn't make him a bad guy does it? I mean he doesn't beat and rape you does he? If not, just love him like you always did.

#35 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -

@Fattony12000 said:

Fucking hell, this is going to go very Curb Your Enthusiasm if you're not careful.

Oh goddamn it. There's going to be a calamity of confrontations forever if this happens.

#36 Posted by MonkeyKing1969 (2971 posts) -

Do nothing. Your grandfather is a man. If your buddy had those sites in his history would you sit down with him for a talk about any if it...please say you wouldn't.

Your grandfather has earned the right to his own desires, proclivities, and personal life. What is more you have NO CLUE what you grandfather or grandmother were into in their teens, 20s, 30s, 40, or 50s.

If you grandfather is 71 and you his grandson, you are a squeaker (less then 30). Sorry, to have to say this to a young person, but few people under 30 know much about life unless they just spent the last 12 years in the military humping a sandy hole, are half a mile down a coal mine, or married and raised a kid while juggling two jobs. Yet, even if you were an adult at his level, you still should not butt-in on his life.

#37 Posted by Toxeia (730 posts) -

THE GREATEST GENERATION.

#38 Posted by Levius (1205 posts) -

Welcome to the wonderful world of extortion and blackmail.

#39 Posted by TheHT (11682 posts) -

@Toxeia said:

1) His fetishes are his business, as long as he's not contributing to someone else's suffering. If it's illegal, then you need to talk to him about it. Otherwise it's fine.

2) If his computer was running slow, it's possible whatever he had was putting references in his history to that kind of stuff.

3) On Reddit there was a case where a man's son had trashed his computer looking at sketchy porn sites. The father fixed the computer for him and gave him a list of "safe" sites he could go to for wanking purposes. You might consider this as well.

Edit: 4) Search the basement for young japanese boys.

Sound advice.

Online
#40 Posted by believer258 (12101 posts) -

@Toxeia said:

1) His fetishes are his business, as long as he's not contributing to someone else's suffering. If it's illegal, then you need to talk to him about it. Otherwise it's fine.

2) If his computer was running slow, it's possible whatever he had was putting references in his history to that kind of stuff.

3) On Reddit there was a case where a man's son had trashed his computer looking at sketchy porn sites. The father fixed the computer for him and gave him a list of "safe" sites he could go to for wanking purposes. You might consider this as well.

Edit: 4) Search the basement for young japanese boys.

On the subject of number 3: I would feel really creeped out if I knew a relative of mine did that.

#41 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@Icemael said:

Snitches get stitches.

Snitches get riches and all of the bitches.

#42 Posted by coakroach (2492 posts) -

Thats real fucked up.

Does your grandfather strike you more as the harmless old codger that will accidentally stumble into really weird fucked up shit on the internet, or do you reckon he's the kind of guy that would actively be looking at this stuff?

Because if it's the first i'd give him the benefit of the doubt, and if it's the second then... um... do your best to ignore him till he dies?

#43 Posted by forkboy (1174 posts) -

@K9 said:

What is the status of your grandfather and grandmother's relationship? Are they a happy couple?

You should at least talk to your grandfather about this. He owes you an explanation. Depending on his answers decide on whether you should tell your grandmother or not.

HE OWES HIM AN EXPLANATION? What on earth is this nonsense? Dude's gone snooping on someone elses computer. How would you feel if someone snooped around your internet history? Sure, not everyone looks at things as taboo & offensive as fake rape flicks but there will still be things you may prefer to keep private in there. I mean for all you know he played out these rape fantasies in the bedroom with your grandmother, as two consenting adults. And yeah, you fucking deserve that image to be put in your head.

What Simplexity should do is simple, mind his own god damn business. Think of the consequences. Think of how it'll tear your grandmother up if she found he'd been with, or even considered going with a prostitute. Why the fuck would you even consider doing that to her? Keep schtum. Fix his computer for him, hand it back without getting all weird, don't fucking mention it, don't dwell on it, just pretend it didn't happen. Ignore the nagging feeling that you should say something to someone because that is an appalling idea with consequences far out way the "benefit" of "oh I might get this unpleasant thing off my shoulders".

If it really bothers you then once you've handed the laptop back have nothing more to do with him. But don't confront him. But don't drop this bombshell on any other family member. Just move on.

#44 Posted by NegativeCero (3026 posts) -

I'm in the camp of forgetting it. It's none of your business to bring it up when you aren't 100% sure he's doing something wrong.

#45 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

Just going to mention that if the computer in question is malware riddled, there are several types that will connect to some pretty disgusting sites.



I had this experience attempting to fix my father in law's computer many years ago, where I found multiple questionable sites in his Internet history.



I actually confronted him on it, I called him a liar, it got quite heated, and then I went back and looked again and found gay porn, links to game cracks, and all sorts of other nonsense that I know he wouldn't have any interest in.



Watching the computer over the next couple of days after clearing the history showed this all happening automatically without him touching the PC, and I realised I owed him a massive apology.

Just something to keep in mind.

#46 Posted by Jace (1093 posts) -

@K9 said:

He owes you an explanation.

Yeah, everyone owes everyone else an explanation about their personal life. Nailed it.

Jesus.

#47 Posted by TheHBK (5554 posts) -

@Sploder said:

Maybe it was your Grandmother using his computer. Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun.

Maybe it was both of em. You never know what they are doing together. Take from this experience one thing, eventually all the freaky shit you do over your lifetime will accumulate and you will be into some sick shit when you are as old as your grandfather and grandmother. Let them do the nasty whichever way they want. As long as he aint hurting any kids, leave him be.

#48 Posted by addictedtopinescent (3645 posts) -

I understand this being fucking weird to you, cause it would be to me if it was my grandfather. But even if he's part of your family, you should leave him be, it's his and your grandmothers business and in no way concerns you.

Plus yo, dude is 71, let him have his fun

#49 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6401 posts) -

@Fattony12000 said:

Fucking hell, this is going to go very Curb Your Enthusiasm if you're not careful.

He should just get the social assassin to confront him right?

#50 Posted by ajamafalous (12129 posts) -

It's none of your business and there's no reason for you to 'confront' anybody about it. What good can possibly come of it? Your grandparents' relationship is ruined and then they both die within the year from the stress and trauma caused from their implosion at 71? It is absolutely none of your goddamn business, and you should feel bad for even feeling like you needed to 'say something' to him.