Posted by planetfunksquad (527 posts) -

Tonight I found out a friend of mine died. I met her on an internet forum for a band we both liked 5 years ago. The fact that I never met her face to face doesn't really matter. For a long time she and the other members of that forum had a very profound impact on my life. Her name was Monica and she was only 22 years old. She was funny and intelligent and for a girl so young had a very mature personality (even if her humour was somewhat immature at times. She named her cat "Miss Booger Cakes").

That forum is long gone now and I feel the need to put this in writing somewhere, so here it is. I have no grand eulogy for her, so a link to her art will have to speak on her behalf.

22 is too young.

#1 Posted by RawknRo11a (568 posts) -

sorry to hear that. loosing someone, even if you've never met "proper" is hard. I've got a few friends on Xbox Live that I've never met in real life and if I found out one of them died I would be very sad as well even though I hadn't met them.

Her art style is interesting, not for everyone, but there are a few pieces I thought were kinda cool.

Hope everything goes ok and again, sorry to hear you lost a good friend. (they are hard to find)

#2 Edited by JasonR86 (9723 posts) -

@planetfunksquad:

Sorry to hear this man. It reminds me how about three or four months after I graduated from high school about 5 of my friends died in a row. It was like one after another through the rest of that year. It was the weirdest thing and I didn't really know how to feel. I just felt weird. Cause, you're right, 22 is too young for anyone to die. Just like 16-18 (my friend's ages) is too young to die. To let you know, I did get over it pretty well though I will still think about them from time to time. It might be hard to think of it but you'll start to work through what you're going through and move forward. I hope you can get their with relative ease. I feel really terrible for your friend though. I don't think we need to go into detail about how she died but it's too bad that she did and I sure hope that however it happened it was easy for her.

#3 Edited by OfficeGamer (1087 posts) -

What matters is that you had a connection with her regardless of physical meetings, and I feel for you man, I hope it doesn't affect you very much.

I am curious though, if you were internet friends, how did you learn that she passed away?

#4 Posted by coakroach (2492 posts) -

Stay strong duder

#5 Edited by Chaser324 (6741 posts) -

Any time someone that young goes, it's always terrible to hear.

I'm sorry to hear that you lost a friend. A lot of people may discount the value of internet friends, and even I'll admit that online interaction can often be impersonal and cold (just take a look at the comments on any given YouTube video if you want proof), but there's definitely something worth treasuring in some of the connections that we form through these online communities. Personally, there are a lot of people that I've only ever interacted with through a computer that I value my relationship with far more than some friends I've made through work, school, and similar places. Don't let anyone tell you that those relationships aren't real.

Moderator
#6 Posted by Demoskinos (15131 posts) -

I too have a few friends I've made on the internet that I'm quite attached too so its not weird or anything man you had a real connection and that is what matters. Sorry for your loss. Her art is kind of cool. Shame she won't be around to share more of her talent with the world.

#7 Posted by i_got_an_F (25 posts) -

I remember meeting a person once at NIU right before the school shooting. She got killed with a shotgun that day. Don't even know why it affected me as much as it did. It just made it all the more terrifying. It put into perspective the concept of my own mortality despite my age.

#8 Edited by Dagbiker (6978 posts) -
#9 Edited by donfonzie (206 posts) -

I am sorry for your loss my friend. It doesnt matter if you met on the internet, as i believe friendship doesnt have boundaries and isnt limited to physical interaction.

#10 Posted by altngr (50 posts) -

Sorry for your loss.

#11 Posted by planetfunksquad (527 posts) -

@officegamer: Facebook. I didn't wanna post this there, in front of people I know in real life. Somehow it feels less weird if I'm being mopey in front of strangers on a message board.

Thanks for the kind words duders.

#12 Posted by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

22 is indeed young. Sorry for the loss.

I've seen many a death in my lifetime, my dad's death being the worst I've seen. It's been a year since, and the feeling is still relatively fresh.

#14 Posted by OllyOxenFree (4985 posts) -

My condolences, duder.

#15 Edited by RPGee (763 posts) -

Many condolences. That is awfully too young. And although it's hard putting feelings like this out there, I'm glad you did, because being able to put them into a physical form is a good way to help yourself and begin recovery. Be glad that you knew her and that you made each other's lives better, even if it was just in a small way.

#16 Posted by dungbootle (2428 posts) -

I'm sorry to hear it. Hope you feel better soon.

#17 Edited by MariachiMacabre (7099 posts) -

That's really young. I'm sorry to hear it, duder. Death is a difficult thing to deal with. Last November I witnessed a nasty car wreck and had to pull an 8 year old girl from the back seat. I guess her mom had a seizure and drove 65 MPH into a construction site, slamming into a trailer full of heavy machinery. The mother ended up okay but the little girl, Ashlynn, died. It's the single most terrible experience of my life. Stuff involving death never leaves you. But you need to move forward or the emotional weight this stuff creates can crush you. Stay strong, friend. You'll make it through. And if you need to talk about it, as anonymous as we all are, I like to think this community does great things when it needs to. We'll listen.

#18 Posted by TruthTellah (9468 posts) -

Sorry to hear that. I've lost people like that before, and it's tough to parse. Someone far away but still close. Such friendships are real, and it's tragic when someone dies so soon. Though, the best you can do is celebrate the times you did get with them and make sure they count for something in your life.

#19 Posted by TruthTellah (9468 posts) -

@dagbiker said:

My grandfather died friday, and I'm going to avoid this thread now.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Curt_Berklund.jpg

That's awful, dag. Grandparents are difficult to lose. Someone you've grown up all your life with. Though, considering they were able to have kids and those kids have someone like yourself, it sounds like they lived a full life worthy of pride. :)