#1 Edited by ArkusVal (5 posts) -

Ohkay so me and this girl have been friends forever and at some point that transitioned to bestfriends. We hang out all the time, we have a shit ton in common and about half of our friends are the same. I've liked her since we became friends. I fell in love with her a few months back. Trust me I know what love is I've experienced it enough times. I'm one of those people that loves and gets shit in return. I can't help it. I know the difference between infatuation and love. And I know for a fact from her own mouth and her close friends that she does like me and did plan on dating me about a month or so ago. Ohkay so far seems great right? We've kissed and done a little more than that but we haven't had sex. I spend the nights at her house often enough and we share the same bed. But when I opened up to her unlike I ever have before even to girlfriends of two years I got the response.. I feel like if we dated and didn't work out then things wouldn't be the same and I can't lose my bestfriend. Although I have explained that I wouldn't allow our friendship to change even if we did breakup and trust me I wouldn't be the one breaking up with her unless she cheated on me. Idgaf how mad I get this is the one girl in the world I would give everything for. And I mean that 100% I value my own life more than anyone in this world and I would gladly throw it away for her. I gues what I wanna know is what the fuck? Like I get that our friendship is important I wouldn't give it up for anything but is it just that she's scared to take the chance or what? Cause I keep getting mixed signals. Like I know at one point recently she was almost a hundred percent sure that we were going to date and then she goes and tells me if I wanted to date you I would. Not in a mean way though she was just stating it matter of factly. Which screwed with me even more. And I understand girls pretty well, and yes I know I will never really understand them and I don't plan on trying but I have a track record of over fifteen girlfriends and wayy more than that with the ones I've done stuff with. She has had a fair share of boyfriends as well and she always complains that she can't find the perfect guy. Well I may not be perfect but I'm pretty damn close and I'm not saying that to be arrogant its just a fact. I know everything about the girl so I surprise her all the time and make her so happy. Whenever I send the night we cuddle and in the morning I make her breakfast. I take care of her when she's sick. Etc. And I dunno I guess its just fucking with me cause I have no idea what she wants. Honestly I'm never going to stop trying because in my mind no one can match up with her. I'm not stupid I see girls prettier than her all the time, not saying she's not pretty she absolutely gorgeous, but to me they all seem bland and boring. I've tried dating other girls and honestly they come up short in comparison and as for her after her boyfriends she comes to me and cries in my arms ad I make her feel better. I dunno all I wanna do is make her happy :/ and as a final note I'm 18 and she's 16. Goodluck with trying to decrypt my fucked up jibberish and I hope someone can help either with a few ideas or just set my mind at ease.

#2 Edited by Azteck (7449 posts) -

First of all, learn some fucking formatting. Holy shit this was annoying to read.

Second of all, have you tried using words? Telling someone you want more than friendship is usually the first best step to becoming more than friends. I'm sorry if it's harsch but you have two options, telling her or staying just friends and if "just friends" is not enough for you then you have one option left.

#3 Posted by Animasta (14651 posts) -

next time, try pressing the enter button every, say, 4-6 sentences.

as for your problems, if you guys are actually such best friends and you both find each other attractive, then go for it! life's too short to second guess silly stuff like this. and if it doesn't work out, it'll probably be awkward for a while but as long as the breakup isn't bad you should get back to your earlier friendliness, or close to it.

#4 Edited by ArkusVal (5 posts) -

sorry im on my phone yes i have and i can do just friends but i dont wanna miss possibly something great. and its not even that like she just kinda puts it off but not in a way that says no. i kinda feel as if im being toyed with. but no this is my bestfriend if she says no then eh thats it ill still hope but im not gonna let it ruin our friendshipe. and ive had some ideas towards gettting her to open up to the thought of giving us a try.

#5 Posted by Wrighteous86 (3749 posts) -

It ain't happening. Pack it up and move on.

#6 Edited by ArkusVal (5 posts) -

thats the thing though ani im great at staying friends with girls after a breakup and normally they arent bad breakups. shes just.. easiest way to put it a sixteeen year old hormonal girl and i know that i could erase the awkwardness in a short amount of time even if we did break up but she doesnt wanna risk it is what im getting from this.

#7 Posted by nerdsbeware (223 posts) -

I'm pretty sure phones have return keys still.

Just tell her how you feel or whatever. Or I don't know... don't. You guys are young, be a teenager and have fun, don't get caught up in all this relationship shit now. I didn't meet my wife until I was like 24-25. If it's meant to be, its meant to be. Some other saying about love. GLHB.

#8 Posted by Nightriff (4930 posts) -

Yeah I ain't reading that shit

#9 Edited by ArkusVal (5 posts) -

i have nerds and its not that shes rejecting me but shes not accepting if that makes sense? and ive tried my ohkay button and my return and errything else i can think of sorry guys.

#10 Edited by myketuna (1655 posts) -

I'm pretty sure phones have return keys still.

Just tell her how you feel or whatever. Or I don't know... don't. You guys are young, be a teenager and have fun, don't get caught up in all this relationship shit now. I didn't meet my wife until I was like 24-25. If it's meant to be, its meant to be. Some other saying about love. GLHB.

Do what this person says.

#11 Edited by ArtelinaRose (1846 posts) -

You haven't had sex yet but you've done "stuff." That's as clear an indicator that she's into you as any, I think. Unless she's a slut. Is she a slut? She might be a slut. Guard your dick. That is my professional lady's opinion.

But seriously, I see somebody with too much infatuation and emotion to NOT at least make a go at it. Don't keep that bottled up inside of you because it will just end up eating away at you until you become jaded and dead inside like me and too many other young people. It's pretty obvious that you love her, and I'm sure she knows, maybe she's just as afraid of being rejected as you are? You won't know until you try. I know it's so easy to just say "be a man go for it", but I mean it. Be a man, go for it! If she says yes, you may have a beautiful future with her that can be nurtured until it flourishes. If she says no, nothing has changed other than your feelings are out in the open.

#12 Edited by Mrsignerman44 (1100 posts) -

@wrighteous86 said:

It ain't happening. Pack it up and move on.

This, you probably didn't assert yourself enough and just followed whatever she did and it hurt you in the process. As you said, she probably wanted to date you a month ago, but you missed the timing. Don't sweat it man, it happens to the best of us.

Sorry buddyboy, but that's just how it works. In order to avoid further pain or to make sure that you don't make this mistake in the future, watch this video and take your medicine.

#13 Posted by Jimbo (9776 posts) -

I heard she was going to fuck you but then she found out you hated paragraphs.

#14 Posted by Morbid_Coffee (954 posts) -

Listen to Dadcast and then never want to get married and have children ever again.

#15 Edited by ArkusVal (5 posts) -

nah shes not a slut xd but yeah i get you and my feelings are out in the open. hers well not so much. and yeah ive been trying to think of a few ways to get her to open up to the idea of taking a risk. and just to clear up any miscommunication i have indeed said straight to her face that i am in love with her. but then i get the if i wanted to date you i would but then i still hear from her that she likes me and from her best female friends that she really likes me. which confuses me greatly.

#16 Edited by TooWalrus (13139 posts) -

#17 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3758 posts) -

@jimbo said:

I heard she was going to fuck you but then she found out you hated paragraphs.

I LOLed.

But yeah dude just have the balls to ask her, see what happens after, then move on. It's not a big deal. I know when you're young it seems a big deal and older people tell you it's not and you say "fuck you" but seriously.

#18 Edited by nerdsbeware (223 posts) -

If you straight up told her you loved her and got nothing in return, I'm with Wrighteous86 on this one.

Time to hit the 'ole dusty trail, Cowboy.

#19 Edited by AlexanderSheen (4932 posts) -

What the hell is this?! Why no one posted the GAL picture already? That is a failure I have to correct.

EDIT: @toowalrus You posted it while I was looking for the picture. You are a true patriot my friend!

#20 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3758 posts) -

@arkusval said:

nah shes not a slut xd but yeah i get you and my feelings are out in the open. hers well not so much. and yeah ive been trying to think of a few ways to get her to open up to the idea of taking a risk. and just to clear up any miscommunication i have indeed said straight to her face that i am in love with her. but then i get the if i wanted to date you i would but then i still hear from her that she likes me and from her best female friends that she really likes me. which confuses me greatly.

Dude don't care, or make moves on it. If she likes you she will pursue, if not, move on. This usually works and it's easier for you, playing it casual.

You are also at the young age where girls act especially dumb. So just don't bug about it.

#21 Edited by TooWalrus (13139 posts) -
#22 Posted by killacam (1284 posts) -

a video game forum is DEFINITELY the place to get a girl's insight.

#23 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1846 posts) -

Just about everything I could say has been said already, yeah.

Though I'm going to throw some life advice out here for you because it's some of the best I've ever received: Before you make an important decision regarding a girl or a boy or whoever you are interested in, masturbate. Seriously. Get that shit out of your system and THEN start thinking about what you want to do.

#24 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3758 posts) -

@wrighteous86 said:

It ain't happening. Pack it up and move on.

This, you probably didn't assert yourself enough and just followed whatever she did and it hurt you in the process. As you said, she probably wanted to date you a month ago, but you missed the timing. Don't sweat it man, it happens to the best of us.

Sorry buddyboy, but that's just how it works. In order to avoid further pain or to make sure that you don't make this mistake in the future, watch this video and take your medicine.

Holy this that's some real ass advice from Patrice, not for a kid but for an adult damn. Just spoke to my situation a while ago very well. Gotta get over your ego.

#25 Edited by ArtisanBreads (3758 posts) -

@alexandersheen said:

What the hell is this?! Why no one posted the GAL picture already? That is a failure I have to correct.

EDIT: @toowalrus You posted it while I was looking for the picture. You are a true patriot my friend!

The best part is that the thread is titled "I need a GIRLS insight" hahah

#26 Edited by Morbid_Coffee (954 posts) -

@nerdsbeware said:

Time to hit the 'ole dusty trail, Cowboy.

10/14/87

#27 Edited by Alekss (327 posts) -

IWRaGrl

#28 Posted by ArtisanBreads (3758 posts) -
#29 Posted by NoobSauceG7 (1235 posts) -

Touch her shoulder? (COME ON PEOPLE! HOW HAS THERE NOT BEEN THIS COMMENT YET!)

#30 Posted by Mrsignerman44 (1100 posts) -

@mrsignerman44 said:

@wrighteous86 said:

It ain't happening. Pack it up and move on.

This, you probably didn't assert yourself enough and just followed whatever she did and it hurt you in the process. As you said, she probably wanted to date you a month ago, but you missed the timing. Don't sweat it man, it happens to the best of us.

Sorry buddyboy, but that's just how it works. In order to avoid further pain or to make sure that you don't make this mistake in the future, watch this video and take your medicine.

Holy this that's some real ass advice from Patrice, not for a kid but for an adult damn. Just spoke to my situation a while ago very well. Gotta get over your ego.

Agreed, Patrice always gave some real advice on this subject. Ego is really what stops us from having healthy relationships.

#31 Edited by AlexanderSheen (4932 posts) -

@alexandersheen said:

What the hell is this?! Why no one posted the GAL picture already? That is a failure I have to correct.

EDIT: @toowalrus You posted it while I was looking for the picture. You are a true patriot my friend!

The best part is that the thread is titled "I need a GIRLS insight" hahah

He's a sophisticated gentleman, I believe he could give a girl's insight. I mean, he operates the Xtreme Girl Advice Line.

#32 Edited by Phatmac (5723 posts) -
#33 Posted by KaosAngel (13765 posts) -

...guess those stereotypes of gamers is true. Shit.

#34 Posted by Empirepaintball (1393 posts) -

What the hell is this?! Why no one posted the GAL picture already? That is a failure I have to correct.

EDIT: @toowalrus You posted it while I was looking for the picture. You are a true patriot my friend!

I was just kinda waiting until someone posted this.

#35 Edited by Intro (1206 posts) -

Before I read this I just want to say, you've come to the right place.

Tell her how you feel, tell her what you told us. If you never do it could become too late.

8 months ago when I was 18, I meant a 16 year old girl who was the first girl that showed interest in me. At first we were just hanging out a little bit at a time,she was right down the road. I invited her in one night and yeah, we're still together.

#36 Edited by Brodehouse (9649 posts) -

You're 18. She's 16. Don't over think this, none of it matters.

The only thing that matters is you wrap your stump. That's it. None of this shit is gonna last. This isn't cynicism this is just how she goes.

#37 Posted by BombKareshi (996 posts) -

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

#38 Edited by Wrighteous86 (3749 posts) -

@bombkareshi said:

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Or, the woman thought the guy was just her friend, and saw value in him as a person, but was either unattracted to him or felt they would be incompatible when it comes to a relationship. The man, on the other hand, never really considered the woman a friend, and was interested in a relationship the whole time and either "settled" or is hoping that through showing his value as a "friend" he can convince her that he deserves to be more, which is underhanded, selfish, and manipulative. This always starts with I'd never treat you the way HE treats you. This is roughly the equivalent of a guy accepting a job as a cashier, and then calling his employer an asshole because they don't think he's manager material. He entered into a knowing agreement for a specific position, but thinks that he deserves another position because he wants it, without having done anything to deserve it aside from throwing his coworkers under the bus and kissing a lot of ass. And, if he doesn't get the promotion he wants when he wants it, he'll quit and try that same shit at another company. Then he'll constantly bitch about how he deserves it because he "put his time in", not realizing that there are other things that make someone qualified for the managerial position.

(I always hated that quote.)

#39 Edited by GaspoweR (2835 posts) -

@phatmac said:

@toowalrus said:

From which video was this taken from? Also Sara looking gorgeous as usual.

Also:

LASTLY: WELCOME TO GIANT BOMB...unless you are already a user on this site and just made a different account to ask this question but anyways good luck with that dilemma, sir. If all else fails, learn from this and move on with your life (go to college and graduate, etc).

#40 Edited by BombKareshi (996 posts) -

Or, the woman thought the guy was just her friend, and saw value in him as a person, but was either unattracted to him or felt they would be incompatible when it comes to a relationship. The man, on the other hand, never really considered the woman a friend, and was interested in a relationship the whole time and either "settled" or is hoping that through showing his value as a "friend" he can convince her that he deserves to be more, which is underhanded, selfish, and manipulative. This always starts with I'd never treat you the way HE treats you. This is roughly the equivalent of a guy accepting a job as a cashier, and then calling his employer an asshole because they don't think he's manager material. He entered into a knowing agreement for a specific position, but thinks that he deserves another position because he wants it, without having done anything to deserve it aside from throwing his coworkers under the bus and kissing a lot of ass. And, if he doesn't get the promotion he wants when he wants it, he'll quit and try that same shit at another company. Then he'll constantly bitch about how he deserves it because he "put his time in", not realizing that there are other things that make someone qualified for the managerial position.

(I always hated that quote.)

Excellent counter-argument, man. Wish we could append that to the original.