Now I don't think that it's full blown depression or whatever but these are some of the things I've noticed about myself over the past month
- My interest in things that I normally have great interest in have decreased a good amount. I noticed recently I do a good job of buying games but not finishing them, even the ones that I find engaging like GTA V and more recently Pokemon which has been a personal surprise for me because I normally would have finished the new Pokemon game by now. Some would say that my interest in games just shifted at the moment but I noticed that new seasons of shows I like are up on Netflix yet I mostly tell myself that I'll watch them soon and never do.
- I noticed that I'm having to "act" happy a lot more than just being happy when around friends and/or going out to places.
- I'm becoming a bit more distant with my parents and closer friends.
- I used to be able to stay up extremely late but I've been going to sleep earlier more often and I also sleep in longer than normal because I feel like there isn't much reason to get up other than to eat and do assignments that need doing.
- As someone who enjoys in some of the activities surrounding marijuana, I noticed that my own consumption habits have dwindled to the point that I'm losing the appeal of it which was what made me start questioning my recent behavior changes, but I guess I can scratch substance abuse off the list?
- And well I guess I just noticed that my general mood has mostly been low to ok. I think my summer break was the last time I remember having a moment of genuine happiness.
On the bright side though my academics are still ok. I'm on track to making Dean's List again this semester so I guess that's something and that at least tells me that I'm not completely falling apart.
I won't go into details as to why these changes happened because I'm not exactly looking for armchair psychologists, I mainly wrote this up for the sake of condensing my thoughts into one thing.