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#1 Edited by AcidBrandon18 (651 posts) -

what would the offspring be like? Both Vinny and Gary Whita just had children. If those two children procreated what would be the result? I shouldn't have to say this, but this question is obviously about when the two kids are fully grown up, are able to marry and are able to legally procreate. Lets keep this discussion creep free.

#2 Posted by FluxWaveZ (19155 posts) -

A renowned film director?

#3 Posted by Slab64 (1036 posts) -

Yes, the resulting child could write and produce video content at the age of 3.

#4 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8698 posts) -

More threads like these.

#5 Posted by Doctorchimp (4063 posts) -

@FluxWaveZ said:

A renowned film director?

And editor?

#6 Posted by CaptainCody (1504 posts) -

@Doctorchimp said:

@FluxWaveZ said:

A renowned film director?

And editor?

And Italibritish Stallion?

#7 Posted by YOUNGLINK (522 posts) -

thats gross!

#8 Posted by PillClinton (3284 posts) -

Eli Caravella.

#9 Posted by HatKing (5557 posts) -

We'll all be old by the time that happens - let's face it, it's going to happen - so we won't get to see the benefit of the world's greatest visual artist.

#10 Posted by solidlife (874 posts) -

It was only time before this thread came about as I was thinking the same thing lol.

#11 Posted by Jayzilla (2538 posts) -

this thread is going to be full of amazing. i need photoshops of what exactly that child will look like and it needs a nose on its hand.

#12 Posted by Blackout62 (1303 posts) -

"Shoot that video."

#13 Posted by Omega (817 posts) -

It has to happen. They have to marry in order to solidify the alliance between house Caravella and house Whitta. Otherwise the realm will never have peace.

#14 Posted by TruthTellah (7641 posts) -

The Singularity.

#15 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

Joffrey of the House of Whittavella

#16 Posted by Feanor (1377 posts) -

it would be stalked by the weirdos of this site.

#17 Posted by Oldirtybearon (4282 posts) -

@AcidBrandon18 said:

what would the offspring be like? Both Vinny and Gary Whita just had children. If those two children procreated what would be the result?

Holy creepy fanfic Batman, this is probably the single weirdest fucking thing I've ever read on the internet.

for the record, the offspring would be a deadbeat who never amounted to anything in life. It'd take after Whitta.

#18 Posted by WilltheMagicAsian (1543 posts) -

A worse Michael Bay in a better way.

#19 Posted by sub_o (645 posts) -

Vanny Whitte

#20 Posted by Korwin (2721 posts) -

@Omega said:

It has to happen. They have to marry in order to solidify the alliance between house Caravella and house Whitta. Otherwise the realm will never have peace.

The Spice must flow.

#21 Posted by dudeglove (7252 posts) -

Don't be creepy, people.

#22 Posted by supamon (1325 posts) -

This is new level of creep.

#23 Posted by Omega (817 posts) -

@Korwin said:

@Omega said:

It has to happen. They have to marry in order to solidify the alliance between house Caravella and house Whitta. Otherwise the realm will never have peace.

The Spice must flow.

I was actually making a Game of Thrones reference, but Dune's good too. I like Dune.

#24 Posted by Korwin (2721 posts) -

@Omega said:

@Korwin said:

@Omega said:

It has to happen. They have to marry in order to solidify the alliance between house Caravella and house Whitta. Otherwise the realm will never have peace.

The Spice must flow.

I was actually making a Game of Thrones reference, but Dune's good too. I like Dune.

Oh I figured it was a Thrones joke... but The Spice Must Flow is a better response here than Winter is Coming :P

#25 Posted by joshthebear (2700 posts) -
@dudeglove

Don't be creepy, people.

@supamon

This is new level of creep.

This pretty much covers my thoughts.
#26 Posted by Gaff (1492 posts) -

I'd rather think of what would happen if Huey, Gary's dog, and Chloe crossbred. Would the universe implode?

#27 Posted by Fattony12000 (6351 posts) -

WHAT SHALL WE NAME THIS GOD CHILD?

#28 Posted by Humanity (7948 posts) -

@Jayzilla said:

this thread is going to be full of amazing. i need photoshops of what exactly that child will look like and it needs a nose on its hand.

I've already made a photoshop of this ages ago

#29 Posted by matti00 (663 posts) -

@joshthebear said:

@dudeglove

Don't be creepy, people.

@supamon

This is new level of creep.

This pretty much covers my thoughts.

I was concerned I was the only one who thought this thread was gross for a second.

#30 Posted by ajamafalous (11591 posts) -
@Humanity said:

@Jayzilla said:

this thread is going to be full of amazing. i need photoshops of what exactly that child will look like and it needs a nose on its hand.

I've already made a photoshop of this ages ago

Oh christ
#31 Edited by Humanity (7948 posts) -

@matti00 said:

@joshthebear said:

@dudeglove

Don't be creepy, people.

@supamon

This is new level of creep.

This pretty much covers my thoughts.

I was concerned I was the only one who thought this thread was gross for a second.

What you don't dream and finger paint Vinny pictures? You don't write fanfics and detail out hypothetical family tree's if Jeff's future kid had a gay wedding with Ryans kid and what ethnicity would the child they'd adopt be? HMppf. Looks like someone ISN'T a big fan of the site...

#32 Posted by dudeglove (7252 posts) -
#33 Posted by OtakuGamer (1182 posts) -

This thread isn't disturbing AT ALL.

#34 Posted by Cheesebob (1211 posts) -

The single greatest being on the planet

#35 Posted by YoThatLimp (1820 posts) -

@Oldirtybearon said:

@AcidBrandon18 said:

what would the offspring be like? Both Vinny and Gary Whita just had children. If those two children procreated what would be the result?

Holy creepy fanfic Batman, this is probably the single weirdest fucking thing I've ever read on the internet.

for the record, the offspring would be a deadbeat who never amounted to anything in life. It'd take after Whitta.

People in glass houses, etc etc.

#36 Posted by Bravestar (379 posts) -

let them grow up before sucking them into the creepy internet weirdness.

@dudeglove said:

And that nightmarish thread where some guy wrote about how Ryan was starving and so Jeff disemboweled himself so Ryan could feast on his innards. Not sure if it ever got 404'd, but it's out there somewhere.

what? w..what?(somebody better have a link)

#37 Posted by Fallen189 (4918 posts) -

Believe it or not, children are not born with pre disposition in relation to their parents jobs

#38 Posted by sungahymn (981 posts) -

...Huh?

I would be lying if I didn't think of it the minute I heard Whitta's kid was a girl, but they're babies! Marriage is kind of a faraway subject.

#39 Posted by Metal_Mills (2948 posts) -

Isn't this how xenomorph's were created in Prometheus?

#40 Posted by EuanDewar (4509 posts) -

oh dude she's like 6 days old that's fucked up

#41 Posted by dudeglove (7252 posts) -

@Bravestar:

Post by Balls (453 posts) See mini bio
Giantbomb
Fanfiction

Just a zany story about two zany friends doing zany things! Enjoy!

Ryan sat at his desk in the little Sausalito offices. The glow of the monitor illuminated his face as he searched the internet for the latest in sports drink technology. He wasn’t particularly excited at the moment just content to be working at a place with good people and good friends. He yawned gently as he struggled to find anything interesting.

Jeff sat next to him in his Herman Miller Aeron Chair. He thought it was comfortable but was really happy with the clean design. At this moment a sudden pang of hunger struck him. He looked around the room.



“We really need a refrigerator down here, yo!” he said in his half mocking, half revering tone. “I’m like starving, dawg!”



“Do you want to just order some pizza or something?” Ryan asked knowing what the answer would be.



“Nah, man we had pizza yesterday. What about that In & Out Burger? You know they got some tasty burgers.”



“Yeah… but I’m not really in the mood for burgers either.”



“Geez, I’m just starving though!” Jeff blurted.



Ryan stared at Jeff. He didn’t know how to sate his friend’s hunger. They’d have these discussions every day and his friend’s picky eating habits were starting to get on his nerves. He decided that he would have to do something a little more forward in order to get the situation under control.



He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The dark was soothing and seemingly cooled his warm body. In a calm voice he spoke clearly, “Jeff, if you want something to eat. Eat me.”



“Ha! Dude, no seriously, I’m hungry!” Jeff responded.



With his eyes still closed and breathing slowly Ryan raised his voice slightly, “Jeff I don’t want to hear you talking about food anymore. Just eat me. Just fucking eat me.” He drew a large serrated knife from his desk drawer. The long leather wrapped handle was heavy but the balance of the knife was perfectly centered on its hilt.



“Dude! What are you do…”



Before Jeff could finish Ryan plunged the knife with both hands into his abdomen. The sound was dull and moist. Ryan could hear this sickening thud even before he felt the pain. It shot from the wound towards his back and then into his neck. It was excruciating. Warm blood poured down his shirt and dribbled onto the floor. He struggled with the knife to open the wound.



Jeff was stunned. His eyes were impossibly wide and he was listening to the blood pour out of Ryan’s abdomen.



With the knife firmly in his belly he moved both his hands into a palm upward grasp and started sawing the teeth of the blade into his flesh. It was not a smooth motion. The ragged knife cut and tore his fat and the blood was freely flowing onto his hands and pooling onto the carpet.



As Ryan opened the wound up Jeff watched as the yellowish glistening pieces of fat fell to the floor. The rapid pulling thrusts of the knife in flesh sounded like someone was slowly beating an egg. The smell of exposed fat was like that of a freshly opened jar of mayonnaise. When Ryan had torn through about half a foot of his own body he let go of the knife and left it sticking in the bottom of the open wound.



At this point the odor hit Jeff and he realized that Ryan had been screaming. It was a low bellowing noise interrupted with gurgling gasps and brief cries.



Ryan then grasped the edges of his exposed innards and dug his fingers into the subcutaneous fat. He started to pull himself open. His own flesh was warm and slick so he had to bury his hands deeper to get a better hold.



As Ryan tore frantically tore into his own body Jeff could now see the red ragged fibers of muscle as Ryan’s fingers ripped into them. They twitched in concert with Ryans screams and sickened him.



He had opened a hole in his belly enough to expose his abdominal muscles and the fascia intertwined in them. His fingers couldn’t pierce through this barrier though. He pulled the knife that was already buried above his groin and started to saw through the muscle. Because of the large serrations of the knife he had to tug violently to rip through the fascia.



Jeff watched in silence, not realizing that he had held his breath throughout the entire ordeal. Then an even more horrifying vision befell him. Ryan had stopped making human screaming noises and was now just grunting between frantic knife jabs but through the blood and torn flesh Jeff could clearly see loops of bowel starting protrude out of his friend.



Ryan fell to his knees and the sudden impact caused his intestines to pour through the wound. He hadn’t stopped tearing with the knife and pierced through the walls of his small bowel. The spasms of his intestines caused fluid stool to mix with the blood pouring out of Ryan and it smelled like a freshly butchered deer.



The smell was so strong that Jeff’s stomach cramped and he too fell to the floor in front of his eviscerated friend.



At this Ryan whimpered in weakened, breathless gasps but not stopping his disembowelment, “Fucking eat me, dude. Eat that shit.”



Jeff, dazed with horror, grabbed one of Ryan’s torn bowel loops. It convulsed to his touch and was slippery to hold. As he held Ryan’s intestines he could feel the powerful contractions go from one side of his hand to another. He was shocked at this and almost dropped it. The mix of fecal fluids and blood ran down his arms in pulpy threads.



Ryan stared at Jeff. The only noise coming from Ryan’s mouth now was of an impossibly long and low gutteral exhalation.



Jeff tugged on Ryan’s bowels in order to further free them.
Posted 1 year, 4 months ago
#42 Posted by BaconGames (3129 posts) -

Man I wish I had creepy threads like these to commemorate my birth.

#43 Posted by Bravestar (379 posts) -

@dudeglove: hahaha holy shit

#44 Posted by zyn (2591 posts) -

Saviour of our world.

#45 Posted by Milkman (16227 posts) -
@dudeglove Somehow, that's even better the second time.
#46 Posted by Excast (691 posts) -

Mommy..I'm scared.

#47 Posted by Dylabaloo (1549 posts) -

This is fan fiction territory I'm not comfortable with.

#48 Posted by Jayzilla (2538 posts) -

Why did this thread take a horrible turn for the worse? I just wnated to see photoshops of what Baby Vinny Whitta would look like.

#49 Posted by SmasheControllers (2542 posts) -

What is Gary and Leah's daughter's name?

#50 Posted by TheHBK (5407 posts) -

It would start a comic book story arc called MAXIMUM WHITTA