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#1 Posted by dr_nefarious (1614 posts) -

Just as the title says.

#2 Posted by Redbullet685 (6025 posts) -

You're not even going to tell us what your movie would be about?

#3 Posted by Hunter5024 (5539 posts) -

Yeah tell us yours! My bucket list tells me I have to write a screenplay so I've thought about it a little. I was thinking maybe a movie about a girl who gets ice powers, but no matter how grounded I want that to be I can't imagine anyone not thinking it's really cheesy. I've also thought about writing a comedy but I think it's hard to do that without an actual actor, and I haven't thought of a good premise for that yet anyways just 3 or 4 funny scenes I could string together. I had one idea that was about this school that gets gradually taken over by a cult, one religious scifi story idea, and 2 or 3 fantasy ideas. I haven't really settled on any of them yet, I don't think any of the writing talent I have is really meant for that.

#4 Edited by aznjon12 (188 posts) -

My movie would be an action, hack-and-slash, romantic, comedy thriller.

The star would be Chris Hemsworth. It would be a gun movie about an assassin who also delivers sushi in his spare time to pay the bills and whatnot since he's a single dad. One day he encounters a beautiful woman in his deliveries and they start going out. Then it turns out she's a nurse...OF DEATH!!! And she's also his next hit target. Now Roger AKA the main character will have to choose his love or his job. But instead the nurse of death just like becomes a gun saleswoman. And he becomes one of her best customers. But it's also a hack-and-slash because Jason appears and starts terrorizing the town of Greenvale. Now the gun saleswoman must go out of retirement and become a nurse of death once more to combat this new threat with Roger. And then it turns Jason has Roger's son hostage. And that's Roger's incentive to kill Jason.

Or plan B, Blazblue the musical.

#5 Posted by wewantsthering (1551 posts) -

You trying to steal ideas or something? lol Usually if you have an original idea (or 12 different original ideas), you don't post them online for others to read. :=)

#6 Posted by Hunter5024 (5539 posts) -

@aznjon12 said:

My movie would be an action, hack-and-slash, romantic, comedy thriller.

The star would be Chris Hemsworth. It would be a gun movie about an assassin who also delivers sushi in his spare time to pay the bills and whatnot since he's a single dad. One day he encounters a beautiful woman in his deliveries and they start going out. Then it turns out she's a nurse...OF DEATH!!! And she's also his next hit target. Now Roger AKA the main character will have to choose his love or his job. But instead the nurse of death just like becomes a gun saleswoman. And he becomes one of her best customers. But it's also a hack-and-slash because Jason appears and starts terrorizing the town of Greenvale. Now the gun saleswoman must go out of retirement and become a nurse of death once more to combat this new threat with Roger. And then it turns Jason has Roger's son hostage. And that's Roger's incentive to kill Jason.

I would totally see that.

#7 Posted by RainbowCarnage (97 posts) -

I would make the next sequel to Jaws.

It would take place in the year 2096. Jaws well use his new cybernetic enhancements to battle the space ninjas. In space!

#8 Posted by mandude (2669 posts) -

Explosions.

#9 Posted by Emperor_Jimmu (249 posts) -

A Joe Pesci comedy vehicle with a cameo from Jeff Goldblum. It would not be a good movie.

#10 Posted by OllyOxenFree (4970 posts) -

I dunno but the ending would reveal that it was all a dream.

#11 Edited by _Zombie_ (1462 posts) -

Terror of the Cliffracers: A documentary about the real plague in Vvardenfell.

#12 Posted by Make_Me_Mad (3019 posts) -

All I know is that it would have something to do with detectives. Someone would wear a trench coat for the intended purposes of keeping dry in the rain and looking like they belong in a noir film. Every character would smoke. The lighting would actually be bright enough to see things, and if someone even jokingly suggested Shakycam I would literally have the skin flayed from their ribs and leave their body on set the next morning as a warning.

#13 Posted by MistaSparkle (2148 posts) -

Alternate dimension actors.

#14 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

Werewolves and Vampires. We have to reclaim them from that fucked up franchise that must not be named.

#15 Posted by Hunter5024 (5539 posts) -

@Make_Me_Mad said:

All I know is that it would have something to do with detectives. Someone would wear a trench coat for the intended purposes of keeping dry in the rain and looking like they belong in a noir film. Every character would smoke. The lighting would actually be bright enough to see things, and if someone even jokingly suggested Shakycam I would literally have the skin flayed from their ribs and leave their body on set the next morning as a warning.

They'd just think it was part of the script. Man I don't know if I've ever seen a real detective movie like that... Closest thing I can think of is Brick. I need to look that shit up.

#16 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8698 posts) -

I'd make a (double) trilogy out of the Dragon Prince and Dragon Star books.

#17 Posted by SomeJerk (3141 posts) -

I'd make an infinite series of artsy films covering Blame! by Nihei Tsutomu. Read that manga if you like to have your mind blown by something an architect would illustrate, the scale of that world is sick.

#18 Posted by Tylea002 (2295 posts) -

Funny you ask, because I AM making one. It's set in a youth club, about all the crazy shit that happens in a youth club. There's a youth worker who, shall we say, has lost his enthusiasm for the craft. There's youthful optimism crossed with aging cynicism, and it's all done in a Mockumentary style (because that suits our camera setup). Oh and there's some great playing depressiveness for laughs, like all of my favourite comedies.

Finishing off the script now, we shoot in september. So yeah guys, go make a film!

#19 Posted by mandude (2669 posts) -

@Make_Me_Mad said:

All I know is that it would have something to do with detectives. Someone would wear a trench coat for the intended purposes of keeping dry in the rain and looking like they belong in a noir film. Every character would smoke. The lighting would actually be bright enough to see things, and if someone even jokingly suggested Shakycam I would literally have the skin flayed from their ribs and leave their body on set the next morning as a warning.

Just from their ribs? Because, I mean, the thighs are where you're going to get the best meat.

#20 Edited by FilipHolm (667 posts) -

Like previous poster said, if you have an idea for a film, do it :) It's not very hard now a days.

Granted, unless you have any experience there's a chance it won't turn out being a masterpiece.

I'm currently making a movie (in the writing stage still) about a young girl being kindnapped and kept in a cellar room. The man who kindapped her is very kind to her though. It's a very dark movie, so much that I don't always enjoy writing it because it makes my mood drop pretty dramatically :p

#21 Posted by innacces14 (735 posts) -

Mine takes place in a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advance cloning techniques! I call it...

...BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS!

Seriously though my friends and I have been talking about making a Seinfeld like show about what happened to us through High School. We have the characters to make episodes around but if it ever comes to fruition it'll be a one season thing. Gives us enough time to pack up and leave before the people we're talking about get a whiff of what's going on. lol

#22 Posted by godliketoaster (6 posts) -

Probably something with lots of explosions and boobs. Storyline would be second.

#23 Edited by Morrow (1828 posts) -

I would call it "The Burned Man".

It would be set in a small town in the US, maybe in the southern states. It starts out following the daily routine of a man living in this town, but he is covered in bandages, leaving only his eyes visible. He does try to cover most of the bandages with clothes, though.

One day, a young woman moves to this town, for whatever reason, maybe to work there. She gets to know all the locals, starts to feel at home, yadda yadda. She crosses ways with the burned man, let's call him Mike for now. He is nice but very shy, everyone is friendly to him and they treat him like everyone else. The young woman, let's call her Sarah for now, starts to get interested in him, his backstory, and why he is bandaged. They start something like a tender friendship. He tells her he used to read a lot, but because of his physical pain, can't concentrate for long, so she offers to read his favourite books to him. And stuff that makes them more close, yadda yadda.

Eventually, despite all the odds, she realizes she likes him, and becomes really curious about what happened to him. At that point she already heard about an incident that happened in this town a few years ago. She respects his wish not to be asked about his situation, but her curiousity makes her ask the locals. But somehow, no one is really getting into it, most people act evasive. One person however mentions a retired psychologist Mike used to visit, and after some research, Sarah tracks him down.

She also finds out that the "incident" a few years ago involved a horrible accident in which the local school burned down and eight children died in the fire.

After some back and fourth, she finally gets the information she wants from the psychologist. But the conversation happens off-screen, so the viewer doesn't know what he tells Sarah.

In the next scene, Sarah visits Mike, she's calm and friendly (they probably had one or two heated situations when she was being too curious) and carries a bag. Both sit down, Sarah takes a mirror out of the bag and places it on the desk infront of Mike. Conversation conversation, she tells him to take his bandages off, because she wants to see him how he really is, and she says he needs to see it too. After some reluctance, he agrees and slowly takes off the bandages. But the camera isn't pointed directly at him, we only see vague movements of his uncovering.

When he is done, the camera is pointed at Sarah's gentle face, she is smiling, then we have a hard cut to the image in the mirror, and we see Mikes burned face. It doesn't look too gross, but his skin is clearly scarred from burning. Mikes expression is stunned, a mixture of slightly shocked and ashamed.

"I'm a monster", he says quietly, with a dry throat.

Then, hard cut to Mike, not the reflection, and his face is seen as completely normal. He says "I'm sorry you had to see this."

Cut to Sarah, who looks sad and bewildered.

END (for now, maybe I'll add a "proper ending scene")

PS: If anyones interested in the real deal, feel free to ask me about the meaning.

PPS: Yes I know the story lacks any detail whatsoever, I have to work on that.

PPPS: Hmmmm, maybe I should add a copyright notice... :D

#24 Posted by HisDudeness (251 posts) -

@Morrow said:

I would call it "The Burned Man".

It would be set in a small town in the US, maybe in the southern states. It starts out following the daily routine of a man living in this town, but he is covered in bandages, leaving only his eyes visible. He does try to cover most of the bandages with clothes, though.

One day, a young woman moves to this town, for whatever reason, maybe to work there. She gets to know all the locals, starts to feel at home, yadda yadda. She crosses ways with the burned man, let's call him Mike for now. He is nice but very shy, everyone is friendly to him and they treat him like everyone else. The young woman, let's call her Sarah for now, starts to get interested in him, his backstory, and why he is bandaged. They start something like a tender friendship. He tells her he used to read a lot, but because of his physical pain, can't concentrate for long, so she offers to read his favourite books to him. And stuff that makes them more close, yadda yadda.

Eventually, despite all the odds, she realizes she likes him, and becomes really curious about what happened to him. At that point she already heard about an incident that happened in this town a few years ago. She respects his wish not to be asked about his situation, but her curiousity makes her ask the locals. But somehow, no one is really getting into it, most people act evasive. One person however mentions a retired psychologist Mike used to visit, and after some research, Sarah tracks him down.

She also finds out that the "incident" a few years ago involved a horrible accident in which the local school burned down and eight children died in the fire.

After some back and fourth, she finally gets the information she wants from the psychologist. But the conversation happens off-screen, so the viewer doesn't know what he tells Sarah.

In the next scene, Sarah visits Mike, she's calm and friendly (they probably had one or two heated situations when she was being too curious) and carries a bag. Both sit down, Sarah takes a mirror out of the bag and places it on the desk infront of Mike. Conversation conversation, she tells him to take his bandages off, because she wants to see him how he really is, and she says he needs to see it too. After some reluctance, he agrees and slowly takes off the bandages. But the camera isn't pointed directly at him, we only see vague movements of his uncovering.

When he is done, the camera is pointed at Sarah's gentle face, she is smiling, then we have a hard cut to the image in the mirror, and we see Mikes burned face. It doesn't look too gross, but his skin is clearly scarred from burning. Mikes expression is stunned, a mixture of slightly shocked and ashamed.

"I'm a monster", he says quietly, with a dry throat.

Then, hard cut to Mike, not the reflection, and his face is seen as completely normal. He says "I'm sorry you had to see this."

Cut to Sarah, who looks sad and bewildered.

END (for now, maybe I'll add a "proper ending scene")

PS: If anyones interested in the real deal, feel free to ask me about the meaning.

PPS: Yes I know the story lacks any detail whatsoever, I have to work on that.

PPPS: Hmmmm, maybe I should add a copyright notice... :D

That is fucking gold dude. You should definitely do something with that.

#25 Posted by Morrow (1828 posts) -

@HisDudeness:

Aww, thank you. I actually used to be a hobby-writer, but my job leaves me almost no time to actually accomplish anything on that route, so that story will probably end up like many others: buried in my head :(

#26 Posted by GunstarRed (5025 posts) -

A realistic zombie movie that uses actual corpses that have been stop motion animated.

#27 Posted by falserelic (5324 posts) -

The movie will be about me an upcoming werewolf pornstar.

#28 Posted by theANCIENTgray (78 posts) -

Did a short film last year about a guy wandering the enigmatic ruins of the United States. Started off great but we ran into sound complications and I had to rewrite it with a crapload of VO. It came out...weird.

Doing another short in September. Link to the Kickstarter we did for it. Tells you the plot and all that jazz.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/235558544/arrangement-a-short-film

#29 Posted by Brodehouse (9585 posts) -

I wrote a, I don't know, dramatic comedy about a painter with ligyrophobia. In artsy fartsy terms it's about identity and what drives creativity, in layman's terms it's about clever one-liners and a dude meeting a lady. Ligyrophobia is the fear of sudden loud noises, so I named it Quiet Desperation. Which is a Thoreau reference and an encapsulation of the main character.

I tried to write another one about... hell, it was weird. I guess it was about apathy? I never finished it. Main character is a wastrel who succeeds on low cunning and pure gall, and then the relationship happens and he changes and then I was supposed to write how the Bad Thing happens and the Happy Reunion, but I stopped writing there. I think I was actually going to try to get away with an ending where the protagonists dislike each other but get fake married so that one of them can stay in the country. ... What the hell was I thinking? Oh yeah, I named it You're Such A Wonderful Person, But You Got Problems. Because that's a reference to a David Bowie song and I'm fucking retarded.

And I wrote 45 pages of an absolutely fucking awesome modern adaptation of Mrs. Warren's Profession but I fucking got sidetracked and never went back to it but URRRGH it was so good. It was sharp as hell, all those characters were completely there, it had a great early hook and an even better climax, and an ending that I thought was Goddamn genius (even if everyone I told it to thought it wasn't). GODDAMMIT MAN. Now I'm all out of practice when it comes to writing screenplays. ... Goddammit, I should just finish it somehow and then put it in a drawer. I don't think I ever had a name for it, it was just a file named MWP.

And of course, like another other screenwriter, I have the first dozen pieces of shit while I was learning, and then the second dozen pieces of shit when you continued learning. One was about guardian angels who were suicides (spoilers) having to pay off a debt. That one had a really cool character named Ryan Morse, but that's about it. One was a madcap action movie in the style of Pineapple Express, that involved a tourist in Japan finding a phone that was actually a weapon of mass destruction. Hilarity ensues. I called it Fire At Will because the main dude was named Will. Or should I say, I named that dude Will because I think that joke is hysterical and also I'm retarded.

#30 Posted by Kidavenger (3509 posts) -

I've already started making it; the story of the film is based on plot points from Citizen Kane, The Hidden Fortress, and Superman II.

Here is a completed scene; it's from about halfway in and it may not make much sense out of context but I guess you'll have to wait for more.

#31 Edited by pyromagnestir (4242 posts) -

@Morrow: Well I came here to make a joke about how I'd make a Half-Life adaptation where I play Gordon Freeman, only in my version Gordon Freeman is involved in a bunch of steamy sex scenes with various actresses plus Ryan Gosling (who plays the G-Man) and Troy Baker (who plays Nihilanth), but now I think I shall treat this thread with some respect...

I actually worked on a real adaptation of Half-Life for funsies, and liked some of what I came up with pretty well. Also came up with some original ideas, although how original they really are is something of a question.

One's an idea for a movie about prisoners who are forced to perform a play where the deaths are real. I was thinking the prisoner chosen to play the lead role (who is sort of the executioner, or embodiment of death or something in the play itself) can be pardoned if he performs well enough, or something to that effect. And maybe in this particular rendition the lead of the play would be an actor who went to prison and had to fill in at the last minute or whatever... I'm being vague because I suck at writing and many of the details are not locked down. For example, the movie may or may not be set in the real world or a fantasy universe of my own creation. I can't decide because both versions suck.

Also I have one which is sort of a weird cross between Groundhog Day and a hitman movie. A guy keeps being killed by some dude he doesn't know (in different ways each time, I should say), but waking up again to relive the day, or something along those lines. (I'm particularly fond of the opening scene for this one EDIT: also I love the title I came up with. That I won't share.)

And last and tied for least with all my shitty other ideas is a movie with a fantasy setting where a woman is pregnant with the heir of a very bad dude, and taken to a place in the world where twisted rituals and slavery and stuff like that are still allowed (a "sacred" place of sorts where ancient customs are permitted), so that once the baby is born it can be sacrificed without issue, only this place is only accessible during a very specific time (which happens to align with when the babies due because prophecy and fate and what not!) and only for a few hours, as it's underwater unless the moons or whatever align just right.

I have others less fleshed out, but that's enough of my shitty ideas for one thread.

Actually fuck it I'll say one more. A superhero (I've thought about rewriting this with him as a god instead) movie of sorts, where the hero is beloved and famous and has no secret identity, but then a criminal appears who looks the same and has the same powers as the hero but wears a mask to hide his face. Then it goes sort of fight clubby after that. No one ever sees the two together at the same time, people start to distrust the hero, shit starts getting crazy. Is the villain real? That kinda stuff.

I like all my ideas quite a bit but am always disappointed with the results I make. I sometimes wish I could hand them off to someone with actual talent to do them up nice and proper. But alas. It's still fun working on them anyway.

Online
#32 Posted by Flawed_System (388 posts) -

Revenge.

#33 Posted by nerdsbeware (223 posts) -

A toilet salesmen whose body cannot produce waste. The trials and tribulations of a man who knows not what it is to use the thing he makes his lively hood from. Mumblecore drama, starting Fassbender or Gossling. DONE.

#34 Edited by Farmer (328 posts) -

I've put an extraordinary amount of time recently into thinking about a Bernard's Watch film in the style of Akira Kurosawa. Regardless of how shit it would turn out, there would be narrow band of 19-23 year old British people who would watch it.

#35 Posted by believer258 (11630 posts) -

I just read the Kindle sample of Foundation, which is the first I've ever been exposed to the series (but not the first Asimov I've read).

That sounds like it could make an awesome movie, even if it were just to see someone envision that technology (and give us a more in-depth look at it than, say, Coruscant in Star Wars). Though, I have not even begun to really dig into it so I can't even really tell you much about the plot, just that I think the technology sounds magnificent.

#36 Posted by CyborgDuo (105 posts) -

I've always wanted to make a movie about a depressed high school newspaper writer taking on a story about a recent suicide at his school, leading to him getting very emotionally attached, fighting to right the wrongs that led to her death. Being suicidal in the past, the idea has always held some weight in my heart. I might actually write it, sometime or another.

#37 Edited by Dixego (381 posts) -

I'm sure someone already said this, but obviously Batman.

EDIT: Oh wait, nobody actually said it before me. Awesome.

#38 Posted by BaneFireLord (2909 posts) -
@Morrow said:

PPPS: Hmmmm, maybe I should add a copyright notice... :D

Too late, I've already run with it. Seriously, though, that sounds pretty cool. 
 
I've had this idea for a modern day adaptation of Crime and Punishment in the style of Brick percolating in my head for about a year now. 
 
Does anyone have any recommendations for free screenwriting software, by any chance?
#39 Edited by BaneFireLord (2909 posts) -
@pyromagnestir: I had an idea similar to your superhero one. It was going to be a one man Broadway show called "Batty" where the same actor plays both Joker and Batman. The right half of the costume is Joker suit and the left is the Batsuit and the lighting keeps changing to illuminate one half or the other. It would essentially be a 90 minute version of the Gollum vs. Smeagol argument from The Two Towers. 
(that one's for free, internet)
#40 Posted by Cloudenvy (5891 posts) -

Before I played Little Busters, my idea for a movie was basically that.

Which means I was too late. : (

#41 Posted by Apparatus_Unearth (3105 posts) -

I'd want to make a horror movie like Paranormal Activity.

#42 Edited by WINDWAKER1 (49 posts) -

I have a lot of these ideas sitting around in my head haha. My favorite of these is "Hypnotics", in which young Jack Tracey, 18 years old and of a slightly weak constitution, moves his hands in anger and suddenly, things fly across the room. He is only discovering the tip of his telekinesis ability, something that is genetic in this world, but very very rare. Jack, together with his best friend Jess Rogers, attempt to cover up this power at first, but Jack soon realizes that he is a tool of destruction in the eyes of the powerful, many strong men attempt to gain his allegiance and use his power for their own bidding, the worst of these being his incredibly nasty uncle.

Jack soon comes into his own, realizing that he has to learn to say no, and learn to develop his own sense of being. He is his own person, and no one should be able to control his talent but himself, as he begins to fend off the intruders in his life. But this is the first step to being a hero...not even close to the last.

Jack looks at petty crimes in the street and TV and feels fear, guilt. Regret. He can't save these people, he is deathly afraid of facing criminals with a violent eye. But when his world is threatened, when the people he loves most are in danger at the hands of kindhearted but very crazy and fearless Rock Xevious demanding that Jack act as his power rod, the young man must face these fears and take into action. But what are these weird scars appearing on Tracey's arms? Why is his telekinesis power getting...weaker? These questions will have to wait for the sequel, Hypnotics 2, where Jack learns to be a true hero, one must face fear. (The idea is to go through each of the steps of growing up, self confidence, facing fears, etc)

I'm aware of the generic nature of my idea, but it would be kind of an action movie w/ bits of comedy, those always draw huge crowds.

#43 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1215 posts) -

You should know up front that this is not a love story... it's a story... about... love... and................................VENGEANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***QUE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG***

From the minds who brought you Team America and 500 Days of Summer.

***Zooey Deschanel running in the dark woods as an unknown assailant chases her with an axe***

We proudly introduce.....

***She falls after twisting her ankle***

500 Days of VENGEANCE...

***Joseph Gordon Levitt is revealed to be the attacker. He raises the axe while he smiles. "Honey i'm home!" He shouts before swinging.

****BOOM! BLACK SCREEN.***

#44 Posted by AlexanderSheen (4929 posts) -

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

You should know up front that this is not a love story... it's a story... about... love... and................................VENGEANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***QUE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG***

From the minds who brought you Team America and 500 Days of Summer.

***Zooey Deschanel running in the dark woods as an unknown assailant chases her with an axe***

We proudly introduce.....

***She falls after twisting her ankle***

500 Days of VENGEANCE...

***Joseph Gordon Levitt is revealed to be the attacker. He raises the axe while he smiles. "Honey i'm home!" He shouts before swinging.

****BOOM! BLACK SCREEN.***

Sold!

#45 Posted by Arbie (1449 posts) -

I'd make a romantic comedy where a xenomorph and a human struggle past obstacles to be together. The xenomorph would have a witty, somewhat creepy friend with a fetish for girls who eat onions and the girl would have a long lost cousin named Billy Joel (he can be the antagonist and stuff) who despite them being family still wants to tap that. Although the xeno would of course love to pop the cousin in the head he can't as he fears the damage it could do to his relationship with, uh, let's call her Milly. Will Milly and Morph still be together by the end of the film? What will become of Billy Joel? And will Morph's friend ever find a girl confident enough to eat onions on a first date?

#46 Posted by binhoker (82 posts) -

I have made a film, It was a documentary about the death of Irish culture under the weight of its own mercurial drunken stereotypes ( it won best international documentary at the atlanta docu-fest which was nice). I have just recieved funding to make another film about the corrosive effect of religious belief on otherwise moral people.

I also direct TV commercials.

#47 Posted by Jay444111 (2441 posts) -

Make SMT Strange Journey into a awesome movie seires. Oh, and if I can't do a movie series. Than I will make MGS the movie where it is EXACTLY like the first game. This way, no one gets annoyed at stupid hollywood writers and everyone gets what they want.

#48 Posted by Dagbiker (6939 posts) -

A cross between District 9 and The Kingdom.

A Story about an Alien/Human Anti-Terror Unit.

Where the Humans hate the Aliens and the Aliens hate the Humans. But they have to work together to stop the badguys from blowing up the Alien spaceship.

PS: they fail, and now the Aliens are stuck on Earth forever, where they have to learn to live with each other.

#49 Posted by FiestaUnicorn (1577 posts) -

Finished a script and working on two more. But if I tell you what they're about you'll steal my great ideas involving mutated mantis shrimp.

#50 Posted by gelatinabomination (184 posts) -

So, a few months ago, I was standing on my toilet in an attempt to swat a spider with a rolled-up issue of Cat Fancy. I swung at the arachnid so hard that I lost my footing on the toilet and fell backwards, hitting my head on the bathtub. When I woke up, eight day had passed. I did not dream during this time, nor did I wake. All that ran through my head was a phrase, repeated over and over, like a message from god. Scrambling for a piece of paper, I wrote the message down, lest I forget it. Looking at my hurried handwriting, this is what I had written down: "TORQUE 2: TORQUE HARDER." I then smiled, for I knew that my destiny had been laid out for me.