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Avatar image for biffmcblumpkin
#1 Posted by BiffMcBlumpkin (3822 posts) -

I would be a shoe, I don't have time to explain it right now.

Avatar image for kornholio360
#2 Posted by kornholio360 (277 posts) -

I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)

Avatar image for biffmcblumpkin
#3 Posted by BiffMcBlumpkin (3822 posts) -

You're already a figurative dildo.

Avatar image for whysoserious
#4 Posted by WhySoSerious (646 posts) -

A giant lamp so I could light up the world!

Avatar image for philanthropy
#5 Posted by Philanthropy (142 posts) -

A Cucumber

Avatar image for mtgrill
#6 Posted by mtgrill (14 posts) -

An old school rotary phone, I don't have time to explain it right now.

Avatar image for dr_feelgood38
#7 Posted by Dr_Feelgood38 (1582 posts) -

Companion Cube because I would never threaten to stab you.

Avatar image for vision
#8 Posted by Vision (794 posts) -

A stripper pole, i don't have time to explain it right now.

Avatar image for lepuke
#9 Posted by Lepuke (343 posts) -

A life size cow made entirely out of hamburger.

Avatar image for foil_charizard
#10 Posted by Foil_Charizard (350 posts) -

A post-it that says i don't have time to explain it right now. I don't have time to explain it right now

Avatar image for biffmcblumpkin
#11 Posted by BiffMcBlumpkin (3822 posts) -

When will you guys be able to explain those things, because I'm kind of curious?

Avatar image for cryinghero
#12 Posted by CryingHero (86 posts) -
I'd be fossil.. I've loads of time to explain :D. People would always be looking for me and when found me I'd be the center of attention and I'd be put in a museum where everyone would stare. Only messing, I'm not shallow. I'd probably be a brick...
Avatar image for foil_charizard
#13 Posted by Foil_Charizard (350 posts) -
CryingHero said:
"I'd be fossil.. I've loads of time to explain :D. People would always be looking for me and when found me I'd be the center of attention and I'd be put in a museum where everyone would stare. Only messing, I'm not shallow. I'd probably be a brick...
"
Because that's how interesting you are?

=D jk, couldn't resist 
Avatar image for mr_korean
#14 Posted by mr_korean (614 posts) -

I would be an animal cracker. Don't have time to expla- *runs away

Avatar image for error11
#15 Posted by error11 (80 posts) -
kornholio360 said:
"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"

lol same
Avatar image for kevin
#16 Posted by Kevin (399 posts) -

I would be an exploding barrel, I don't have time to explain it right now.



Btw, can we finally add "I don't have time to explain it right now." into the first of Giant Bomb's community inside jokes?

Avatar image for axersia
#17 Posted by Axersia (1755 posts) -
kornholio360 said:
"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"
Dammit! Someone beat me to it already!
Avatar image for termite
#18 Posted by Termite (2428 posts) -
Kevin said:
"I would be an exploding barrel, I don't have time to explain it right now.



Btw, can we finally add "I don't have time to explain it right now." into the first of Giant Bomb's community inside jokes?
"
Yes.

That and RAPIER!
Avatar image for blu_magic
#19 Posted by Blu_Magic (2026 posts) -

A lamp because lamps are awesome.

Avatar image for biffmcblumpkin
#20 Posted by BiffMcBlumpkin (3822 posts) -

You can't be a lamp, somebody else is already being a lamp.

Avatar image for theogvandalvideo
#21 Posted by TheOGVandalvideo (154 posts) -

A rechargeable battery, because I like to turn things on.

Hiyo.

Avatar image for page1
#22 Posted by Page1 (97 posts) -

Are cats inanimate objects? I want to be a cat.

Avatar image for biffmcblumpkin
#23 Posted by BiffMcBlumpkin (3822 posts) -

Cats are only really considered inanimate objects in the land of idiots.

Avatar image for page1
#24 Posted by Page1 (97 posts) -

Okay then I would be a potato, it's been one of my life goals to be a potato.

Avatar image for oriental_jams
#25 Posted by Oriental_Jams (3072 posts) -

I would be a wall, I really do not know why either...I am a truly strange person.

Avatar image for batman
#26 Posted by Batman (1018 posts) -
kornholio360 said:
"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"
I knew this would be the first post! :D
Avatar image for henjin
#27 Posted by henjin (825 posts) -

A statue. One of those that lasts a long time that are made out of solid stone or marble or somthing

Avatar image for sponge3164
#28 Posted by sponge3164 (405 posts) -

speakers, hopefully to someone with good music taste D:

Avatar image for worldsfastestshrimppeeler
#29 Posted by WorldsFastestShrimpPeeler (469 posts) -

probably a door, i dont know why

Avatar image for biffmcblumpkin
#30 Posted by BiffMcBlumpkin (3822 posts) -
Oriental_Jams said:
"I would be a wall, I really do not know why either...I am a truly strange person.
"

Expect Terri Hatcher to run into you very soon.
Avatar image for teknomeister
#31 Posted by TeknoMeister (20 posts) -

I think this thread is unfair to the inanimate objects. You should at least ask them what they would be if they were animate, but you don't even bother to care about how they feel.

I refuse to support your unjust ways.

Avatar image for bulletpulse
#32 Posted by BulletPulse (182 posts) -

A planet.

Avatar image for biffmcblumpkin
#33 Posted by BiffMcBlumpkin (3822 posts) -

Don't open my thread to Uranus humor.

Avatar image for outsidethewall
#34 Posted by outsidethewall (31 posts) -

The weird like paper holder thing on pen lids.

I guess I just like to help people.

Avatar image for djsneakybear
#35 Posted by DJSneakyBear (61 posts) -

a pokedex...so i would know all boutz teh pokemanz-_-

Avatar image for apollo
#36 Posted by Apollo (467 posts) -

Stripper Pole or sex toy...

Although i suppose it would be torture.

Avatar image for bulletpulse
#37 Posted by BulletPulse (182 posts) -
BiffMcBlumpkin said:
"Don't open my thread to Uranus humor."
Lol I didnt see that one coming. XD
Avatar image for ultimate_pwr_rngr
#38 Posted by Ultimate_pwr_rngr (763 posts) -

I'd be an internet.

Avatar image for black_raven
#39 Posted by Black_Raven (1764 posts) -

First thing that came to mind was a dildo, but that could be pretty risky.

Avatar image for jonathan
#40 Posted by Jonathan (692 posts) -

An Inanimate Object? I would be Hayden Christensen. ZING!

Avatar image for jotun
#41 Posted by Jotun (601 posts) -

A lighter, because there is one on my desk and he looks lonely.

Avatar image for schizoid
#42 Posted by Schizoid (1121 posts) -
outsidethewall said:
"The weird like paper holder thing on pen lids.

I guess I just like to help people.
"
Some little kid will most probably throw you across the room.

I would be a speaker!
Avatar image for rvone
#43 Posted by RVonE (4980 posts) -
Dr_Feelgood38 said:
"Companion Cube because I would never threaten to stab you.
"
That's actually really good :)
I would prbably be a bed because I want to be warm and cosy.
Avatar image for mello
#44 Posted by Mello (7 posts) -

....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 


i dont think i would ever want to be inanimate... but if it were to animate, i would be....

a puppet....
Avatar image for rvone
#45 Posted by RVonE (4980 posts) -
Mello said:
"....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 

i dont think i would ever want to be inanimate... but if it were to animate, i would be....

a puppet....
"
Interesting twist. I guess it would be animated, otherwise you wouldn't know you are an inanimate object.
Avatar image for tridgen
#46 Posted by Tridgen (124 posts) -

i would be a huge speaker :p

Avatar image for apollo
#47 Posted by Apollo (467 posts) -
Mello said:
"....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 

i dont think i would ever want to be inanimate... but if it were to animate, i would be....

a puppet....
"
You can never learn anything from someone who wants a hand shoved up their ass...
Avatar image for misoronery
#48 Posted by MisoRonery (476 posts) -
And on the tenth day....
And on the tenth day....
Yes, I would definitely be a McGriddle.  Sweet, delicious, and deadly.  I would be placed by my minions in the dressing rooms of my favorite starlets.  With no fear of being eaten, touched, or spoken to by them I could simply watch them undress without fear of ruining the fantasy by actually interacting with them.











Avatar image for disabilityfishy
#49 Posted by DisAbiLityFisHy (1153 posts) -

ReTarDedFisHy would be... a Giant Bomb.
'nuff said.

Avatar image for mrmiyamoto
#50 Posted by MrMiyamoto (1263 posts) -

I'd be CANDLEJACK because he will nev