If this applies to male-male pairings, I prefer honesty. Tell me what is wrong with me, and I can approve on myself. Just coddle me, and nothing good can come of it.
Doesn't matter, it will still kill me inside... might as well be honest about it. Actually because I have such a shitty self-esteem, being flat out honest about it won't get me that hard. If they were gentle about it, I'd think they were lying and therefore I would behave like a total shithead about it for months.
I don't know this by personal experience, I just have a feeling.
" I've been rejected once, but two weeks later I started going out with her. Still am. "
This kinda happened with me. She rejected me, then missed talking to me and having her in her life, we went out, then she rejected me again. Women are tricky as hell.
I'd rather be told the truth. Because it has happened to me before and the lie hurt initially, and again a month later when I really found out it was a lie.
I usually have to turn down girls since I don't dig them that way. But having had guys both be straight out and not, I prefer the former. Grow a spine.
@RJay_64: Somewhere in between, I'd want to know what it is they don't find attractive, but since I'd already be feeling somewhat crushed I don't think I'd react well to a brutal response, like "you're fat and have a big nose". Diplomacy rather than outright lies I suppose. Not that I get rejected as I don't bother to ask, I just jump on 'em and yell SURPRISE!
I'd rather be told the truth. Being put down 'gently' doesn't help in anyway. I'd still think it over in my head, wondering why I was rejected, but never know for certain. I mean, you don't need to be a jerk when telling someone the truth, but, it's really just better for everyone involved in the long run, even if it may be the more difficult choice.
i want the truth, years ago a girl reject me with something like "i'm not ready for a relationship of this kind" and a week later she was the girlfriend of one of my best friends....and that hurts me...
I haven't been rejected properly since I was 16 and an idiot. and mostly I appreciated being told nicely. I'll just assume we're not compatible like I do with alot of potential girlfriends that don't work out. If it doesn't click, I won't do it and I let them know nicely without going too much into specifics.
I've been let down both "gently" and "directly". Obviously none of it was fun at the time, but I have much better memories, years latter, of the girls who were direct.
First girl I asked out; I was denied. I kind of wish she just said no but she went for the whole: "Your a nice guy," thing. So I'm going to go for the truth.
" Would you rather be told the truth (You are not good enough...or something along the lines of that) Or would you rather be let down "gently" (It's not you...it's me!!) "
I hate when girls beat around the bush & shit. I would have so much more respect if they told me flat out that they were not interested in me romantically instead of "Oh i dunno, I'm so confused right now!".
The worst thing ever is when a girl leads you on. It's fucking horrible, I've been through that so many times before.
I don't get rejected! If I have to reject or break up with a girl, I do it nicely and honestly. You don't want to be too much of a dick, but you need them to understand that its over. Otherwise they caught up thinking there might be a chance or something and can't move on. Which sucks.
Considering I have my eye on a girl right now, I don't even want to think about it. So instead, I leave you with this song found in Dumb and Dumber. Just kidding. Youtube still sucks. The song even shows up in the search engine history in several ways, but it's not on the website.
They never tell you why they don´t like you, because they think they are choosing based on a feeling and not a personal feature, but it is a fact they didn´t like how you looked or something about your personality, that would be very helpful to learn how to be better (to their eyes, you will always act as yourself later ), but they always say "I love you as a friend" or something like that instead of "you are not pretty enough for me" or "I don' t like your gaming habits".
I'd much perfer she just tell me honestly so I can call her a "massive bitch" and we can be done with it. Nothing's more awkward more than thinking a girl is interested in you when she really isn't.
@RJay_64: i'd rather be a quick respectful rejection and then just move on and hit on another girl. The fact is if you reject a person with out even knowing who they are its a bit harsh to say that your better then them and there not good enough. Looks put to the side, because if you say something like that you just sound immature, get another reason to say no instead of just looks.
This should be a poll. Anyway, either one would suck, but I rather the girl have some balls and - wait! That's not what I meant!
Anyway, a girl should be honest, because all being vague does is have dudes get their hopes up. Saying, "I'm not sure right now," or whatever other mumbo jumbo is just going make the wooing and the wooer go in circles.
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