First off: This post has swears, crass humor, and extreme butt hurt.
So, I admin a humor page about my hometown on Facebook, and we have our share of people who are belligerent and take offense to stuff we write; but some guy has just let loose a rant of biblical proportions. I'll give you a little back story, we posted a photo that said "Take an empty pill bottle and fill it with tic tacs, then walk around town eating them out the bottle." A fan of our site said that we should give the tic tacs to kids for more of an effect. A mildly amusing set of comedy, right? Well, some other user on our site went absolutely ballistic over this. Here's his first rant, (note, he thinks the fan who said that we should give kids the tic tacs is an admin.)
"Is this reference to our argument??? Like I said I will get you. You post stupid shit with no thinking process behind it..... that would be mouth running. So why post fat comments when your facebook picture is an over weight guy???? Like I said again itsyour mouth doing your asses job. Shit talker. I seeeee you lots of places I will Berglund you will remember me all because you like joking on chil...dren. The fucked up part about it is when I first liked this page a couple of people said to me, "don't do it" I know one of the few admins who run this page & and there going to say shit about kids you don't like Matt. Well needless to say I didn't believe them gave you a chance & find out the hard way. Funny I believe them now. Its only do time when someone ducks up will your times up. I'm not saying what they said or so called shit you've done. But by god you're making them more believable"
"If this pertains to our prior argument, I'll get you. The content of this page is mainly moronic and entirely ignorant. For example... You talk shit about the obese, yet the gentleman in your profile picture is overweight. For making fun of adolescents, I will find you. I see you everywhere, but I will find you. Everyone warned me about this page, and I gave you people a shot. Lo and behold, they were right. I refuse to say what they were right about though."
At first we thought this guy was trolling, but his level of aggression and obsessiveness went far and beyond what a sane human would be capable of. He began fighting with lots of other users in the comments, specifically targeting the guy who started this all with his comment about giving the tic tacs to kids (the crazy guy still thinks this user is an admin btw.) So, the user says jokingly that he will meet the crazy guy behind McDonald's for a fight; which leads this nutcase to respond:
"Why behind mcdonalds??? Right in the place why not you to scared to see a foot shoved down your throat. Or you hoping someone called a meat wagon. Ok I'll meet you at McDonald's. Bring your pill bottle I'll bring my child & and if you're like a man of your words try handing something out a pill bottle to any kids I don't give a fuck if its tic tacs or not I'll give you a pill that's hard to swallow"
This is all I'll post for now, mainly because I'm tired of copy and pasting; but if anyone would like to hear more from this incredible individual, I'll post some of his plethora of insults and incoherent responses in the comments below.