Posted by dr3day (91 posts) -

After you have finished watching your favorite Home and Garden network television show, and feel it's time for a "new look", before calling in your husband/boyfriend/brother/uncle/father/co-worker/other male figure in your life to help you rearrange the furniture like you saw it on tv, please keep these things in mind:
 
- You are working on borrowed time, labor, and patience.  Keep moving requests down to two or less "shuffles" per session.
 
- If the layout doesn't look good in your head, it's not going to look good in the room.
 
- We thought it looked great before, and we think it looks great the 82nd time you asked us to move it. We will agree with any arrangement as it will quickly end our torment. Please don't ask.
 
- We have no idea what "color flow" means. Refer to above statement.
 
- Do not offer reward sex unless it requires more than minimal participation to enjoy. 
 
Thank you.
 
Signed,
              one dislocated shoulder.

#1 Posted by dr3day (91 posts) -

After you have finished watching your favorite Home and Garden network television show, and feel it's time for a "new look", before calling in your husband/boyfriend/brother/uncle/father/co-worker/other male figure in your life to help you rearrange the furniture like you saw it on tv, please keep these things in mind:
 
- You are working on borrowed time, labor, and patience.  Keep moving requests down to two or less "shuffles" per session.
 
- If the layout doesn't look good in your head, it's not going to look good in the room.
 
- We thought it looked great before, and we think it looks great the 82nd time you asked us to move it. We will agree with any arrangement as it will quickly end our torment. Please don't ask.
 
- We have no idea what "color flow" means. Refer to above statement.
 
- Do not offer reward sex unless it requires more than minimal participation to enjoy. 
 
Thank you.
 
Signed,
              one dislocated shoulder.

#2 Posted by mikeeegeee (1619 posts) -

I love this post, but.... ladies? ...ladies....? I hope the three of them on these forums hear your plea.

#3 Posted by Clinkz (1116 posts) -

Uhh, signed?

#4 Posted by AltonBrown (963 posts) -

 Disapproving Doggies Disapprove
#5 Posted by n00d13z (259 posts) -
@AltonBrown: that bottom one seems to be smiling. 
#6 Posted by AltonBrown (963 posts) -
@n00d13z:  Those dogs are my go-to "fuck you" image.
#7 Posted by n00d13z (259 posts) -

And
Are my personal favorites.
#8 Posted by GreggD (4584 posts) -

Your avatar is "Kiss", your argument is invalid.

#9 Posted by RedEyesBlueBunny (1025 posts) -

i don't know why people are hating on this post. but... @mikeeegeee:  had a good point

#10 Posted by erinfizz (1064 posts) -

Okay! I usually do this stuff myself anyway. I also don't know what colorflow means. 

#11 Posted by Black_Rose (7772 posts) -

Agree! godamn I agree. 

#12 Posted by dr3day (91 posts) -
@mikeeegeee:  If I can save even one fellow man from the agony of "rearranging the house after watching home and garden tv show" syndrome, my work is complete
#13 Posted by Chirag4 (586 posts) -
@AltonBrown: The bottom one looks inquisitive
#14 Posted by emkeighcameron (1895 posts) -

I'm with you OP

#15 Posted by Pessh (2505 posts) -

Made me laugh
 
@thehaters:  Fuck you

#16 Posted by Shazam (476 posts) -

I clicked on this post in a rage, expecting a ridiculous moan about how "mean the females are to me, they don't like my sexy body" but it made me laugh ! I can't get angry because I'm constantly asking my brother to assemble ridiculous stuff I've bought from Ikea, much to his displeasure so I'll just laugh at myself. He shudders at the very appearance of an allen key.