lame jokes bring them

what is the lamest joke and or line you know let us know muhahaha

what is the lamest joke and or line you know let us know muhahaha

What's grey and can't swim?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A parking lot.

lol

My lame joke that made someone chuckle at some point!

"The only change I've seen in the previous Call of Duty games is that the Credits keeps getting shorter #endterriblejokeaboutpeoplegettingfired"

@ZeForgotten said:

My lame joke that made someone chuckle at some point!

"The only change I've seen in the previous Call of Duty games is that the Credits keeps getting shorter #endterriblejokeaboutpeoplegettingfired"

That was good.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

because he was dead.

@Dantekiller: heres an original: a reclining chair factory would be a laid back place to work

What cries, red and is getting smaller and smaller?

.

.

.

.

A baby brushing it's hair with a potato peeler.

What does a grape and an elephant have in common?

They're both purple except for the elephant.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin says "man its hot in here" the other goes "Ahhhhh a talking muffin"

What's brown and sticky?

.

.

.

A stick!

Knock knock.

@imsh_pl said:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Friends are like potatoes.

If you eat them, they die.

whats do call a director that needs glasses?

squinting tarantino

What do you call an Irish guy sitting on your porch?

Patty O'Furniture

@S0ndor said:

@imsh_pl said:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Fuck you.

what do you call two crows standing beside each other?

Attempted murder

@imsh_pl said:

@S0ndor said:

@imsh_pl said:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Fuck you.

:(

@S0ndor said:

@imsh_pl said:

@S0ndor said:

@imsh_pl said:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Fuck you.

:(

I'm sorry :(

Here, have a kitten.

@DrPockets000 said:

Friends are like potatoes.

If you eat them, they die.

AMAZING!

I have a couple about dead babies but I don't want to be the only horrible person in this thread so I shall only present them if someone requests them.

@imsh_pl: HandsomeDead already broke the barrier.

what time is it?

3...

2...

1...

0...

time to get a watch!

Alright, here goes:

 
What is the difference between a truck of dead babies and a truck of bowling balls?

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with oxymorons. Whatever, she was pretty ugly.

Do you want to Banjo my Kazooie?

Dear God...

I really liked the movie "the Karate Kid" in fact, I'd say, I got a kick out of it!

My watch was claimed by Satan once. You could say I had a hell of a time getting it back.

My dog's got no nose.

How does he smell?

Terrible!

@imsh_pl: LOOOOL, love it.

Why did an elephant go to a mouse's funeral?

Because the mouse died.

@Bribo: My favorite one so far.

What did the GPS say to the gay driver?

Go straight.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new album?

Neither as he.

i have 2

a kid was walking down the street and finds a magic lamp. he rubs it and a genie pops out, the genie says "i can give you one wish of your choosing" to which the kid reply's "i want to be more like batman". so the genie kills his parents

whats brown and sticky.......anal

What's green and has wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

What does Batman say to Robin when he wants him to get into the Batmobile?

@imsh_pl: 
What's the difference between an abortion and peeling onions?

This one works a lot better when spoken, not written, but here goes..

I saw a peanut walking down the street today. He was assaulted... peanut.

HAHA! Get it??

@imsh_pl: How do you make a dead baby float?

What's black and blue and hates sex?

And now, for the grand finale, possibly the most tasteless joke I've ever heard. What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?

@Ghostiet said:

@imsh_pl:

What's the difference between an abortion and peeling onions?

SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.

You cry when peeling onions.

Oh Lord.

What's got four legs and a pig on its back?

A police horse.

What do you call a Pony's cough?

A little hoarse!!!!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back ?

A stick

@ShaolinSpade said:

What does a grape and an elephant have in common?

They're both purple except for the elephant.

Hahahahaha, oh man. Made my day.

Also, here's a good site with awesome jokes. - http://sickipedia.org/

What did the letter O say to Q?

Dude, your dick is hanging out.

Check out the ones about recent events. Hilarious (If you're a bad person).

Also...

A guy walks into a bar and says "Ow!"

Two fish are swimming down the river. They run into a wall. One turns to the other and says damn.

Why did the Collossus fall over? Because it is imbalanced.

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.