Posted by Dantekiller (231 posts) -

what is the lamest joke and or line you know let us know muhahaha

#1 Posted by Dantekiller (231 posts) -

what is the lamest joke and or line you know let us know muhahaha

#2 Posted by Ventilaator (1566 posts) -

What's grey and can't swim?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A parking lot.

#3 Posted by Dantekiller (231 posts) -

lol

#4 Posted by ZeForgotten (10368 posts) -

My lame joke that made someone chuckle at some point!

"The only change I've seen in the previous Call of Duty games is that the Credits keeps getting shorter #endterriblejokeaboutpeoplegettingfired"

#5 Posted by Afroman269 (7440 posts) -

@ZeForgotten said:

My lame joke that made someone chuckle at some point!

"The only change I've seen in the previous Call of Duty games is that the Credits keeps getting shorter #endterriblejokeaboutpeoplegettingfired"

That was good.

#6 Posted by DeanoXD (652 posts) -

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

because he was dead.

#7 Posted by thisguyrich (98 posts) -

@Dantekiller: heres an original: a reclining chair factory would be a laid back place to work

#8 Edited by Astras (1064 posts) -

What cries, red and is getting smaller and smaller?

.

.

.

.

A baby brushing it's hair with a potato peeler.

#9 Posted by ShaolinSpade (186 posts) -

What does a grape and an elephant have in common?

They're both purple except for the elephant.

#10 Posted by Commisar123 (1853 posts) -

Two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin says "man its hot in here" the other goes "Ahhhhh a talking muffin"

#11 Posted by Astras (1064 posts) -

What's brown and sticky?

.

.

.

A stick!

#12 Posted by imsh_pl (3503 posts) -

Knock knock.

#13 Posted by S0ndor (2718 posts) -

@imsh_pl said:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

#14 Posted by DrPockets000 (2875 posts) -

Friends are like potatoes.

If you eat them, they die.

#15 Posted by jonano (389 posts) -

whats do call a director that needs glasses?

squinting tarantino

#16 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7097 posts) -

What do you call an Irish guy sitting on your porch?

Patty O'Furniture

#17 Posted by imsh_pl (3503 posts) -

@S0ndor said:

@imsh_pl said:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Fuck you.

#18 Posted by pwnasaurus (1298 posts) -

what do you call two crows standing beside each other?

Attempted murder

#19 Posted by S0ndor (2718 posts) -

@imsh_pl said:

@S0ndor said:

@imsh_pl said:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Fuck you.

:(

#20 Posted by imsh_pl (3503 posts) -

@S0ndor said:

@imsh_pl said:

@S0ndor said:

@imsh_pl said:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Fuck you.

:(

I'm sorry :(

Here, have a kitten.

#21 Posted by thisguyrich (98 posts) -

@DrPockets000 said:

Friends are like potatoes.

If you eat them, they die.

AMAZING!

#22 Edited by imsh_pl (3503 posts) -

I have a couple about dead babies but I don't want to be the only horrible person in this thread so I shall only present them if someone requests them.

#23 Posted by SumDeus (1898 posts) -

@imsh_pl: HandsomeDead already broke the barrier.

#24 Posted by Tally_Pants (623 posts) -

what time is it?

3...

2...

1...

0...

time to get a watch!

#25 Posted by imsh_pl (3503 posts) -

Alright, here goes:

 
What is the difference between a truck of dead babies and a truck of bowling balls?

 
What is funnier than a dead baby?

 What is the easiest way to place a dead baby in a bowl?

 What is the easiest way to get a dead baby out of a bowl?

 What do you do when you see a dead baby on the seashore?

 
 We're all going to hell.
#26 Posted by A_Dog (756 posts) -

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with oxymorons. Whatever, she was pretty ugly.

#27 Posted by Hizang (9359 posts) -

Do you want to Banjo my Kazooie?

#28 Posted by CookieMonster (2501 posts) -

Dear God...

#29 Posted by Shadowjester (100 posts) -

I really liked the movie "the Karate Kid" in fact, I'd say, I got a kick out of it!

#30 Edited by LetsRockBaby (223 posts) -

My watch was claimed by Satan once. You could say I had a hell of a time getting it back.

#31 Posted by Bribo (659 posts) -

My dog's got no nose.

How does he smell?

Terrible!

#32 Posted by Astras (1064 posts) -

@imsh_pl: LOOOOL, love it.

#33 Posted by BulletproofMonk (2734 posts) -

Why did an elephant go to a mouse's funeral?

Because the mouse died.

#34 Posted by Still_I_Cry (2522 posts) -

@Bribo: My favorite one so far.

#35 Posted by dudeglove (9295 posts) -

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None.

Online
#36 Posted by thornie_delete (441 posts) -

What did the GPS say to the gay driver?

Go straight.

#37 Posted by EuanDewar (5147 posts) -

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new album?

Neither as he.

#38 Posted by lord_canti (1657 posts) -

i have 2

a kid was walking down the street and finds a magic lamp. he rubs it and a genie pops out, the genie says "i can give you one wish of your choosing" to which the kid reply's "i want to be more like batman". so the genie kills his parents

whats brown and sticky.......anal

#39 Posted by ThePickle (4267 posts) -

What's green and has wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

#40 Posted by Ghostiet (5596 posts) -
#41 Posted by imsh_pl (3503 posts) -
#42 Posted by spilledmilkfactory (2049 posts) -

This one works a lot better when spoken, not written, but here goes..

I saw a peanut walking down the street today. He was assaulted... peanut.

HAHA! Get it??

#43 Edited by spilledmilkfactory (2049 posts) -

@imsh_pl: How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of vanilla and one scoop of dead baby

What's black and blue and hates sex?

And now, for the grand finale, possibly the most tasteless joke I've ever heard. What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?

I don't masturbate on the apple before I eat it
#44 Posted by Quipido (836 posts) -
#45 Posted by EuanDewar (5147 posts) -

What's got four legs and a pig on its back?

A police horse.

#46 Posted by TheOtherSuperMarioBro (63 posts) -

What do you call a Pony's cough?

A little hoarse!!!!

#47 Edited by left4doof (318 posts) -

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back ?

A stick

#48 Posted by valrog (3741 posts) -

@ShaolinSpade said:

What does a grape and an elephant have in common?

They're both purple except for the elephant.

Hahahahaha, oh man. Made my day.

Also, here's a good site with awesome jokes. - http://sickipedia.org/

What did the letter O say to Q?

Dude, your dick is hanging out.

Check out the ones about recent events. Hilarious (If you're a bad person).

Also...

#49 Posted by JJOR64 (19549 posts) -

A guy walks into a bar and says "Ow!"

#50 Posted by EkajArmstro (428 posts) -

Two fish are swimming down the river. They run into a wall. One turns to the other and says damn.

Why did the Collossus fall over? Because it is imbalanced.

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.